It was the please that broke him, that sent him straight to Bel's side. He couldn't resist him very much. Bel had him wrapped around his finger. There wasn't anything that he wouldn't do that he asked him of it. He was striding across the bathroom title until he was standing right in front of Bel. But he didn't reach out to touch him. Not yet. He had no plans to take Bel to bed or engage with any sexual activity with Bel until he was sure that Bel was completely better.
The tears welled in his eyes before he could do anything to top it. All he kept seeing was Bel's lifeless body on the cot, choking on his own blood. The image of him seizing was burned into his head. He was never going to forget that. His legs gave out and he slowly sank to the floor, crying.
Bel reaches out instinctively, but the gesture changes when Nico begins to well. Before Bel can do much, Nico's in the ground at his feet. Bel's eyes widen, stepping down from the lip to sit next to the curled Nico. "Love–" Bel whispers, wrapping his arms tightly around Nico's shaking shoulders. "Love, I'm here. I'm okay." He holds Nico a little tighter. "I'm okay."
After however long, Bel pulls at Nico's sleeve. "The water will get cold." It'll be a pain to fill again. Bek doesn't even care about getting clean anymore. He just wants to be warm. Even with the heavy steam floating through the room, Bel is still cold.
Nico wrapped his arms around Bel as soon as he was down on his level. He buried his head in his neck as he cried, awful sobs wracking his body. All he could see in his mind was Bel coughing uo blood on his horse. His lifeless body. And all that blood. All the blood. His body was shaking as he cried. He only pulled away once Bel said the water was going to get cold. He let out a small laugh. Of course that's what Bel was worried about now.
He pulled his head from Bel's neck, trying to muster a smile but it didn't really work. His cheeks were stained with tears but he wasn't crying anymore. He pulled his shirt over his head. "Let's get you in that bath," he croaked. His voice was hoarse from crying. He stood up on his feet and offered Bel his hand to help him stand. He pulled off his pants after he made sure Bel was settled in the tub before he climbed in with him.
As Nico sobs, Bel's heart sinks. Bel can't blame himself, he has no control over his stressful environment and violent condition. No, Bel blames his father for not telling him and his father for creating this damn war. Fir once why cant Bel be happy? Why does he always have to be the problem? Eventually, Bel pulls away to only allow Nico to undress. As soon as they're both ready, Bel wastes no time sliding into the tub. It's warm, momentarily searing against Bel's skin before he grows used to it. He opens his arms wide, inviting Nico to lay back into them.
"I'm sorry," he says, though he really means I'm sorry it's like this. Bel imagines if they never had this burden. What if they were ordinary men? Bel would be a local craftsman, making jewelry and candles and teas and everything in between. Nico would be a rugged hunter, returning from a long journey in the woods finding whatever beasts threatened humanity from within. They'd meet across a town square, sharing a longing look from another life and then they'd be together. No Araniel, no wrongful king, no illness plaguing Bel's chest and no nightmares haunting Nico's sleep. "I wish this could all be different."
Nico hesitated to lay back in Bel's arms. He didn't want to hurt him. He had enough done to his chest, he didn't want to make anything worse by putting his weight on his chest. But he slowly lowered himself into Bel's arms, wrapping his own loosely around his body. He didn't hold on tightly, he was already putting too much weight on him. He was quiet as laid there. There was too much going through his head. He didn't want to talk. Not right now. He just wanted to make sure Bel was alright.
I wish this coukd be different. The words echoed in his head. He thought about it, if they had met under different circumstances. If he wasn't Nicandros and if he wasn't Belicoril. If they were just Nico and Bel. He wasn't sure what they woukd be if they weren't here. What Nico would do if he wasn't here. All his life he had been told that one day he woukd be king. All his life he had been groomed to take up the role of ruler. He knew nothing else but this life and yet when it came to it, he didn't know if he could do it.
Bel sense Nicos hesitation and it kills him. Bel's fine. Bel's okay. He's not dying, he's not coughing blood up, he's not bedridden. The worst is over and he's on the mend. All he has to do is stay consistent with his new medicine and try not to be in incredibly stressful situations. "Im okay. I won't die on you."
The more Bel thinks about, the nicer the imaginary life he dreamed for himself sounds. A modest house with a few of the nicer things. Two rooms, a kitchen with a spice rack, a tea garden out back in the sun. A comfortable bed fir him and Nico with another in the second room for a potential small one. A cat, Bel's always wanted a cat. "Do you even want to be king?" Bel whispers.
Nico ran his fingers up and down his back gently. His fingers paused. Did he want to be king? He didn't know. All his life it was what had been expected of him. And while he didn't crave it for the crown and money and glory, he had people looking uo to him. He had people relying on him to be king and to lead them. He didn't know how to answer that. He couldn't not be king. But did he want to be? He wasn't sure.
He didn't answer that. He didn't know how to. Instead, he tucked his head under Bel's chin. He kept quiet. He tried to think of what his life might be if he wasn't a king. If everything was right with the kingdom and mages weren't hunted and his family hadn't been eradicated. If his family had been commoners what would they do? What would he do? He never knew his father but his mother was a warrior through and through. She likely would have done something to end up as a warrior. She likely woukd have rose through the ranks to general. And what would that make him?
"What if after we establish a better rule, we leave?" Bel asks, voice wistful at the suggestion. Val already expressed that she wanted to be nowhere near the walls that they were raised in. Treya's always had plans to build herself a lab outside of the palace. "Miran's capable and he wants to be king. Nico, we could get a house, a small farm, a cat." He holds Nico a little tighter, kissing the top of Nico's head. "We won't have to stress about anything." Won't have to worry about my illness. "You could hunt, bring us food, and I'll sell items to a local village for gold and favors."
They would be together. Safe. Away from everything that had ever hurt them. Together. Nico asked Bel to marry him. Bel wanted to wait, but when he wasn't certain that he'd live, he had said yes. Bel had said yes. Even though he had been scared, hesitant towards the idea at first, Bel knows that he wouldn't want it any other way. Only after a long beat of silence does Bel speak again. "I want to marry you, Nico."
It was a beautiful picture but Nico knew it just wasn't possible. Not in the way that Bel wanted it to happen. It could take decades to finally reverse the damage Bel's father unleashed. Decades to right the wrongs and fix everything wrong with kingdom. That would take too long. And while he moyht not want the crown, he wanted ti help his people. They were relying on him. He couldn't help them if he disappeared into the country. And would Bel truly be able to love the rest of his life like that? He had grown up at the palace. He had grown up in luxury and had everything he wanted. He was used to rooms like this. How well would he be able to handle a home that wasn't lavish and grande? Something so very opposite of this. Nico didn't want to uproot him from that.
He wanted the crown but not for himself. He wanted it for his people. Because they needed him and he needed them. Nico didn't know how he would handle such a simple life that Bel was providing. It felt too simple. Nico didn't know what hebwould do with his time. He had been raised to be king, not some simple farm boy. And he hadn't truly discovered if Miran actually wanted the throne or thought he had to take it. He finally sat up in Bel's arms, cupping his cheek. "I dint know who I am if I am not king," he murmured. "My mother always told me a good king is a king who does not want it but wants to do right by his people. And I want to do right by my people. If that means I have to be king I will but I will take care of them. I promised I would. Just as I will you." He paused, his expression softening. "We can still adopt a cat, palace or not."
Nico blinked, sitting up straighter in the tub and pulling away completely. He wanted to marry Nico. He was shocked. Bel had say yes earlier but that had been when he was dying and Nico hadn't accepted it. He didn't want to hear confessions in the presence of death. But now they were in the clear and Nico didn't know what to think. He thought they were waiting until everything was over. "Do yous mean that?"
Bel listens to his reasoning, though not all of it hits home. A king who doesnt want to rule feels like one that makes poor decisions. Wouldn't they want to make the right decisions to ensure that they lead a prosperous and mighty kingdom? Wouldn't they be searching for a way to constantly improve what is theirs? "You're Nico," Bel days gently. "You're a warrior, a vagabond, a vigilante, a leader, a lover–" He pauses to kiss Nico's head. "You aren't just a king and you aren't forced to live up to these grand expectations." He thinks about Miran, a wise man despite his temper. His emotion only stems from his need to do what is right, and Bel's seen that temper flare more than enough when faced with their father's advisors, wrinkly old bags only after gold. Miran, a man trained for a throne. He knows his father's way of ruling with an iron fist, yet rejects them.
A feared ruler isn't a fearless one, Miran snorted one night when they were boys. You put faith in your people, they'll put their faith in you. And then he was gone the next day on a crusade and Bel has to wonder whose side the heir is really on. Surely it can't be their father's. Miran speaks of patricide too highly for that. "Do you have to be king to lead your people?"
Bel stops when Nico suddenly pulls away, heart momentarily plummeting before swelling. He smiles softly. "Yes, I do."
Nico's eyes fluttered shut at the small kiss. A small part of him wondered if Bel was saying this to put his brother on the throne. He was trying to convince Nico to give up his ambitions to sit on the throne so Miran could take it instead. But he knew, even if that was Bel's intention, it was only because he wanted what was best for them. But he couldn't help but wonder about the future. He had always been so dead set on being king, he didn't know anything else. He didn't know how to be anything else. He had truly never stopped and thought about what he would do with his life if he wasn't king.
All this talk was making his head spin. He didn't know what to think anymore and he didn't like that. He didn't like not knowing. There were too many unknowns in his life, he didn't want to add this to it. "If I am not king then how can I lead them? Someone else will always have the authority to overrule me. Someone else would run the risk of another crusade. I can't let that happen. Being king is in my blood." He bowed his head for a moment. He didn't want to think about this anymore. Not right now. Not when his emotions were already so high.
Nico reached forward and cupped Bel's cheeks tentatively. His hands were trembling, with what, he didn't know. Whether it was the excitement of Bel saying yes or the terrifying thought of hurting him with such a gentle touch. His lips turned up into a smile. As bright as it had been this past day. "Truly?"
Nico's concerns are all extremely valid. He's been trained so long for a position he didn't want. He was drilled to believe that only he could properly fix a broken kingdom. "There are good people who are more than capable to lead, Nico," Bel whispers. "They won't break the kingdom like my father did." And while Bel hates to make active arguments against Nico's capability, Nico didn't grow up in Araniel. Bel's sure the other wasn't even born within kingdom borders. Bel and his siblings know the town, the advisors, each and every broken law scrawled in their record. They know the palace, the throne, the suffocating energy that comes from it. The blood in their veins might have been inherited from a wrongful king, but it is still royal.
These are all concerns for later, for now Nico is holding Bel's face and staring straight into his eyes. Carefully, Bel wraps his hands around Nico's wrists, nodding slowly. "Yes."
Nico didn't know what to feel for a moment. His feelings were conflicted. Worry for Bel and his health. Happy he said yes. Conflicted about the future. He stared into Bel's eyes, searching for any uncertainty, anything that said Bel didn't mean it. But he didn't find any. He leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together as his smile widened into a grin. He let out a small laugh before pressing forward and kissing him softly. Of course Bel had to say yes while they were naked in the bath, because why wouldn't he?
Once Bel was up for it, Nico was going to take him into town and pick out a ring with him. They finest they could find. He broke the kiss and wrapped his arms around Bel, pulling him into a tight hug. Had he not almost died, Nico would have known the exact way to celebrate this. Unfortunately, he had and Nico was scared to do anything with him right now. Anything more than this.
Bel has never felt this… bubbly before. He isn't sure if it's the aftermath of his close encounter with death or the fact that Nico's kissing him or that he had just agreed to marry the other, but all of these feelings are new. Bel doesn't dislike them, rather Bel welcomes any new sensations Nico brings. Bel nods again as Nico hugs him tightly, returning the embrace in earnest.
"When do we want to do it?" Bel whispers. After everything will be far less stressful, but there is a war between now and then and Bel has to realistically think of the possibility that one of them might not come back. They can figure out the rest of the details, the guest list, the location, the color scheme, the flowers– All of it will come later, but the question of when will come first.
Nico looked down at Bel, a soft smile on his face as he strokes his cheek. He pressed his lips to his forehead, just taking a moment to enjoy this. He needed peace and happiness after the earlier events. He shifted himself so he could easily pull Bel into his lap. He just wanted to rest with him. Even if it meant staying in the water until they were pruning.
He chuckled softly. "Whenever you want to my love." He wasn't in a rush. He had full confidence they would both live through this. He had every plan to keep Bel far, far away from the fighting. And Nico knew how to survive. "When are you thinking darling?"
While Bel enjoyed holding Nico in his arms, he has to agree that he much prefers being held in Nico's. He rests his head against Nico's shoulder, looking up at him lazily. "We have three months here," Bel suggests, looping his arms around Nico's neck. "I don't know if that's to soon, but know my cousin loves a celebration. Perhaps it'll be the morale boost everyone needs before we march on Araniel."
Sella would flip a table as soon as she finds out, and then she'll yell for her royal party planner and within weeks the entire ordeal will be properly planned. Bel wonders who could be his best man. Miran, likely, but if he's hesitant towards the wedding, Bel could always offer the position to Val. Flowers, there will be so many flowers and birds and rings of silver and gold.
Nico nuzzle his cheek against the side of Bel's head. He stroked his back lazily as he enjoyed this happy moment. There was a small smile on his face and he wasn't faking it. He was truly happy. "I would marry you tomorrow if you would let me," he admitted. "But if you want a royal wedding then a royal wedding you will get." He wasn't going to let go of this chance. He wasn't going to risk anything now that he knew Bel's life was on the line. He was going to live each moment like it could be their last.
"Pick a date," he said, "and we will get married. But let's wait to tell anyone for a few days. I want us to have some privacy before they all bombard us with wedding plans and congratulations." It was more selfishness than anything that he wanted a few days of peace with his fiancé. He knew as soon as Miran and the others arrived, they woukd be swarming Bel to check on his health. So he wanted to have this one thing to himself for a little while. "We can plan what we want so that way whe were ready to tell everyone, it just last few details that will need to be worked out."
Don't leave me to pick the date– Bel almost laughs. He doesn't know what day it is, nor the timeframe of how long it should take for it all to be planned. If they're to keep it a secret for the time being, that only leaves them with less time to plan the event. They can't hire a florist for eight-hundred boquets and not have anyone be suspicious. That also raises the question of if there's going to be a public proposal. Days ago Nico had mentioned it and Bel had said to wait, but then Bel found himself a little too close to death for his liking and accepted as soon as he was conscious enough to do so. How will they even break the news?
"We should hire an orchestra," Bel notes instead of actually choosing a date, trying to think of how long it's been since he's last heard a proper philharmonic. After the passing of his mother, there was hardly any performances in the throne room, save for the one jester that always tried his damndest to get the king to crack a smile. Bel considers it a miracle that the jester hasn't been killed yet. He runs his hand through Nico's honey-blond hair. "And gold. I want gold for one of the colors. You can pick the other."
Nico coukd almost see the gears turning in Bel's head. It almost made him laugh. "Let's take a week to let us settle in and allow Miran and the other to coddle you before we drop the news. In the meantime, we can figure out the things we want before we decide on anything concrete and book it." He hoped that woukd soothe over anything that Bel was worried about. He didn't need to worry. Stress was what had caused this to happen in the first place. No more stress. No more worry. Nico would take it all on if only it meant Bel was able to relax.
He kissed the tip of his nose gently. It was partly to give Nico a moment to think a out what color he might want. He hadn't expected then to start planning right this instance. But what Bel wanted Bel got. Nico would do anything for him. "Purple," he finally decided, "for my mother. It was her favorite color." It had also been the royal family colors before Bel's father had taken over the kingdom.
"I like purple," Bel responds quietly. He had always been more drawn towards blue, but he's always appreciated its warmer cousin. "It was my mother's favorite as well." She would always wear one midnight purple gown Bel loved so much. It had silver sewn into the long skirt and off-shoulder sleeves, reminding Bel all too much of the constellations. He feared the dark but his mother helped him love the stars. "I wish they could both be here," Bel says quietly, kissing Nico's collarbone.
The water is still spectacularly warm. It chips away and the blood and dirt coating his skin and helps his chest loosen. To the best of his ability, he takes long and slow breaths, luckily only having it hitch once. "We should wash up and go to bed, love. I'm sure some responsibilities will await us in the morning." Not wanting to move away from Nico's hold, Bel reaches and grabs the first few vials resting on the shelf. Soaps, salts, and one small thing of golden flower petals. "How modest," he jests, holding one of the fine petals up to the candlelight.
Nico smiled sadly at him. He wondered if their mothers woukd have gotten along. His mother was innocent girl turned a warrior due to the slaughter of her family. She was the very thing that Bel's family feared. A mage. A warrior. A force to be reckoned. Bel hadn't spoken much about his mother other than her death and a few small details. He supposed he hadn't spoken much about his own mother either. "Me too, my love, me too." In another life, their mothers were watching them and cheering them. They were helping them plan the wedding and trying to take over. In another life, everything was happy.
He didn't think he was going to be able to sleep. At least not voluntarily. But Bel was right. They were going to start pruning soon if they didn't get out of the water. He loosened his hold so Bel could reach the soap. He gingerly took it from his fingers and got to work washing Bel's body. This was perhaps the only bath they had taken together where he didn't have ulterior motives and let his hands wonder.
Bel doesn't object as Nico takes the soap from his hands and begins to lather it. Nico's hands are gentle, smooth against his body. His ribs still ache from his earlier hacking, a few parts of them tender from where he assumes thr doctor injected him with medicines or painkillers. Knowing Nico wouldve likely been too stressed to know whag they were, Bel assumes he's going yo have to ask what the medicines were later.
His eyes naturally closing and his head tipping back against Nico's shoulder, Bel sighs and allows Nico to work. They're both far too tired to think about sex. All Bel wants is to lay in Nico's arm atop the nice bed and betwen the expensive sheets. He wants Nico to take the sleep tonic so no nightmares will plague their dreams. One long, solid night of rest.
"What was your mother's name?" He asks gently.
Nico lathered the soap in a wash sponge he had found on the lip of the tub. With a soft touch, he dragged it across Bel's body, washing the days events away. He was especially careful around his ribs where needles had been injected into him. He shuddered as the image flashed in his mind. He never wanted to see that again. Not with Bel. He had been terrified that Bel was going to die the longer it had gone on.
His eyes briefly look at Bel's face as he leaned back against his shoulder. He brushed his lips against his forged in a gentle kiss. Bel was safe now. Nico woukd protect him. Nothing could touch them while they were safe in this tub. He would fight off anything that tried to harm him. No, he woukd not sleep tonight. Not with his worry that something might happen to Bel. He wouldn't be caught sleeping while Bel was suffering when he coukd be awake and helping him.
Nico paused in his cleaning, looking down at Bel. He supposed his family's history had been erased from the palace. All records gone, even their names. How would he know? "Reyna," he said with a gentle smile. "And yours?"
"Dionn," Bel responds, the name curling comfortably on his tongue. "Her name was Dionn." She liked sewing and crafts and mapping the stars on old parchment. She had a kind smile and steel look in her eyes and always maintained perfect posture when sitting beside the king on his suffocating throne. What would it have been like for her to watch Bel grow up? The eldest had only been fourteen when her body was found. The youngest just barely turned six.
Eventually, Bel pushes away from Nico to turn and face him. Their knees touch under the suds. He doesn't want to think about his mother anymore, all it does is pull painfully at his chest. Carefully, Bel finds a proper shampoo and brings it to Nico's scalp, taking his time slowly lathering it into the roots and tips. Some of the ends are split, but Bel supposes that's bound to happen when Nico uses three-in-one on the rare occasions when he does find the time to bathe. He'll offer to trim it in the morning. Bel's own hair is due for some restyling.
Nico gave him a soft smile as Bel gave him his mother's name. Dionn and Reyna. What a duo they coukd have been if only their lives had been different. But this was the hand they were dealt and Nico was determined to make the most of it. Even if that meant going against the life that had been laid for hom before he was born.
He released Bel as he moved around his arm, watching as they became knee to knee. He let out a small protest as Bel grabbed the shampoo to wash his head but it quickly disappeared as his fingers started massaging into Nico's scalp. His eyes fluttered shut and let out a small sight of relief. His tense body began to relax in the water. "You don't have to do this," he murmured. Not that he wanted this to atop but he should be the one taking care of Bel.
