forum "I'm used to being seen through but it feels so bad when it happens with you." // OxO // CLOSED! (Stalkers get ravioli)

Started March 19, 2021 by Deleted user

tune

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Beckett sighed, running a hand through his hair and looking away. "Sorry. I just…" He paused, unsure of how to voice what he wanted to. In the end, he just gave up. "Nevermind."

"Beckett. If you want to say something, just say it, for God's sake." Simon threw a pillow at him.

"Hey!" Beckett yelped, grabbing the pillow and throwing it right back at Simon. "Shut your mouth, I don't have anything to say."

"You had that look on your face. You did." He deflected the pillow with his arm. "I can tell."

"Alright, well I'm not gonna say anything if you aren't either." He crossed his arms, looking up at Simon with a look that seemed half pout, half smirk.

Simon raised one eyebrow. "Alright then." Under his breath, he said, "We'll see how long this lasts."

Beckett heard him mumble something, but he hadn't made out what it was. "Why are you being so stubborn about this? I just asked what you want."

"I don't know. Because everything I want is a bad idea. Because it doesn't matter. I'll be stuck here forever anyways." He looked at Beckett and sat up on the couch, crossing his legs.

"Jeez, okay. Pessimist." He exhaled heavily. "I'm trying to make sure you don't go insane from boredom, you gotta work with me here. Tell me what you want, and I can probably get you most of it. Or some of it, at least."

"I don't want things, Beckett. I want ideas. Or. . . thoughts. It's hard to explain." He didn't look at Beckett and instead at Zelda.

"What do you mean, ideas?" Beckett was getting more lost and confused by the second, but he still wanted to know whatever was going through Simon's head.

"Like. Being alive. That's an idea, not a thing. Happiness is an idea. Wisdom is an idea." He tipped his head slightly. "You aren't a thing either."

Beckett nodded slowly, beginning to understand. "…Are those the things you want, or were those just examples?"

"What do you think?" Simon watched Beckett, who seemed fascinated by him.

"I-I don't know what I think." Treading carefully, he continued. "I think that most of those seem like something you'd want. But I don't know."

"You would be right to think that," Simon said, just as carefully.

"Okay. Okay…" He paused, thinking for a moment. He was making progress, more than he'd expected at least. "So that-that was- those weren't just an example?" He cringed slightly at himself, knowing he could've phrased that better.

"No. It wasn't an example." He shifted slightly. "Why?'

Beckett hesitated. Would Simon retreat back into his shell if he mentioned it? Probably. Playing it safe, he shrugged. "I dunno. Curiosity." He chuckled, though it came off a bit forced.

"I don't really believe that." Simon folded his hands.

Beckett just shrugged. He'd never been a great lier, and he'd had a feeling that Simon was know he was fibbing before he'd even opened his mouth. He kept up the act anyway, vaguely hoping that it would work.

"So what are you going to do with that information?" Simon asked mildly.

Okay, now it felt like Simon was chasing the answer that Beckett had wanted to give. Screw it. "I was on the list," he observed, voice surprisingly steady.

"Yes?" Simon said. "And?" He watched him, a slight smile on his face.

"What, er. What does that mean, exactly?" Damn, there it was. The small, nervous shake in his voice was back now, and he looked back to the stairs as he tried not to acknowledge it.