forum Depression and Choccy Milk (OXO with Caustic)

Started May 08, 2020 by @Painted-Iris group

tune

It felt so weird to have another person on him, much less so close to the base of his wings. It almost gave him this queasy feeling in his chest. Taking a breath, Zeddicus stood to full height before taking off into the air. He let a light smile cross his lips as the wind ruffled his hair. It felt so good to be up in the air, he nearly forgot about the responsibility he had to his passenger. It was also still worrying that the boy weighed so little. It was hardly any hindrance to him.
Now seeing the patch of grass beneath him, Zeddicus started a smooth decent towards a nearby little playground. Many parents who were already there were watching their children play with loving eyes. Stars, he hoped none of them would wander over to start small talk with him about kids and "his own son." Feet now hitting the soft grass, Zeddicus knelt close to the ground again. "Go play."

Nathaniel was still clinging to Zedd with his eyes screwed tightly shut, trembling a bit. Flying again for the first time since falling was a lot scarier than he expected. He had stayed completely silent during the flight so he wouldn't bother Zedd with his screams or cries, but he'd been completely terrified. He knew it would take a few minutes to relax, and then he'd be able to go do whatever it was that Zedd wanted him to do.

Not feeling the small boy slide off of him, Zeddicus crinkled his brows. "Nathaniel. You can get off now," he said, sounding more confused than anything. This was the exact opposite of what he was expecting. He assumed Nathaniel would have been ecstatic about being in the air again. But he was trembling like a leaf in the wind.

Nathaniel let go when instructed, and only because he'd been instructed to do so. He was frozen in place on the ground aside from his shaking, and he looked up at Zedd meekly from where he stood. "S-Sorry, sir…" He said weakly, wrapping his wings around himself as a sort of shield.

Zedd moved to the side to sit down in the grass. He moved his wings a little as one might roll their wrists. He then cast a half-lidded glance at Nathaniel. He was shaking like crazy. "You're stuttering again… What's bothering you now?" Zeddicus questioned, quite confused. Was it the other kids? That he could understand, and they would leave if that was the issue.

"U-Um… I… I haven't flown since I got shot down, sir…" Nathaniel replied weakly, still very pale. "I suspect that this reaction is a result of that… erm… that experience, sir…" He hesitated before slowly lowering himself onto the grass, not feeling stable enough to remain standing at the moment.

Again, had Zeddicus been drinking something, he would have choked at the statement. "Hold on a minute, shot down?! What the f-" He caught himself, noting the stares of a few of the others around. He was not about to get beaten up by a gang of angry mothers.
"Who in the hell would shoot down a kid?!" Zedd angrily whispered.

"Oh… I thought I told you. Last year, I was flying and a duck hunter or something mistook me for a bird. He shot my wing." Nathaniel pointed to a hole in the joint of his left wing. "And I landed on my back. My wings were crushed upon impact and they couldn't fix them. I-I haven't been able to fly since." Nathaniel rubbed at his eyes, trying his best not to cry.

"We met only hours ago, buddy. There was no need for you to have told me until now," Zedd reassured him. He set his head in his hands for a moment before looking back at the boy beside him. He seemed to be crying. Oh shit, how does one stop a kid from crying???
"We don't have to fly again on the way back, okay?" Zedd attempted, hoping that would help.

Nathaniel nodded shakily and kept rubbing at his teary eyes, drawing in a few wavering breaths. "I'm… I-I'm just being s… s-stupid, aren't I?" He asked, hiccuping a bit. "An angel afraid of flying… I'm s-so pathetic…" He choked on his words and coughed a bit. "W-What kind of angel is scared of flying? What kind of angel can't take care of himself? What… why… why am I so weak…?" He sobbed quietly, hyperventilating to try and force himself to get back under control.

(Zedd: Huh. A child. Must be optimistic and annoying all the time
Nathaniel: I've been twaumatized :D)

At this point, Zeddicus had had enough. He moved to kneel in front of Nathaniel, having the boy's face in his hands. "Stop that. I don't know how old you are, but you're obviously just a kid. You have several years to learn how to care for yourself. It's not supposed to happen this early," he stated. His hands were now wet from the salty tears Nathaniel was crying, so he wiped his palms quickly on his pant legs. "You're scared from a past experience. We call that trauma. It's not something that can be fixed quickly either, so calm down. Deep breaths, and when you're ready you can go play."

Wait, since when did I get all of this knowledge on consoling someone?

Nathaniel hiccuped a bit as he looked up at Zedd. He rubbed at his eyes again and forced himself to take deep breaths as instructed. His heart was racing and he was still shaking, but he gradually calmed down after a few minutes. He seemed a bit tired after he'd stopped crying, but that was to be expected. He looked up at Zedd again and fidgeted nervously.

"What?" Zeddicus asked, confused. He didn't know what else Nathaniel wanted from him. He wasn't good with people in general and didn't read body language well unless it was violent. "You don't need my permission to go play on the playground," he added after a moment.

(Lmao okay)
Nathaniel wasn't exactly in the mood to play, but he went off anyways, figuring that Zedd wanted to be left alone. After a while of sitting alone, he encountered other kids, and that wasn't particularly pleasant. They started pulling on his wings despite his protests, and they kept pestering him with questions he really didn't want to answer. The way they were pulling on his wings hurt since they didn't extend properly anymore. Tears stung his eyes and he eventually retreated into a tree so that they'd leave him alone. The problem with that plan was that he was now stuck and didn't want to bother Zedd to help him get down.

(No one:
Zedd: You have PTSD? Hmm. Walk it off and go play, buckaroo
Nathaniel: :'D yes sir)