"I-I'm sorry, sir… I'm so sorry…" Nathaniel hiccuped, rubbing at his teary eyes as he quivered. He couldn't meet Zedd's eyes and he seemed terrified. He was shaky and pale and he was breathing too quickly. It wasn't immediately evident what had spooked him so badly, and he wasn't incredibly coherent to explain at the moment. He wanted to be close to Zedd for comfort, but he really didn't want to push the boundary even further. He already felt like he'd gone too far just by coming in here to begin with.
Zeddicus was the type of person to be very irritable if he lost sleep, but for the moment he tried to keep from sounding angry. He wanted to ask why Nathaniel was sorry, but his tired mind associated the apology with waking him. "Take a deep breath and try and calm down," he said, attempting to get the poor kid to a state where he could at least speak again.
Nathaniel nodded shakily, drawing in a few harsh breaths as he struggled to calm down. A few fresh tears rolled down his cheeks when he blinked. He wrapped his wings around himself to try and feel a bit safer, but it clearly wasn't helping too much. "I'm s-sorry…" He whispered, hiccuping a couple times. "I'm sorry, sir…"
Zedd blinked a moment, realizing this probably wasn't just about waking him up. "Why the hell are you sorry…?" he managed to ask before covering his mouth for a yawn. The man rubbed his eyes before checking the clock at his bedside table. Two in the morning? While he was turned in that direction, he made sure to actually set his alarm for work in the morning. He was going to need a lot of coffee when he woke up again.
Zeddicus turned back in the covers, doing his best to be careful of Nathaniel and his wings.
"B-Because it's late and I'm b… b-bothering you and I woke you up and I came in here without permission all because of a stupid dream…" Nathaniel sobbed quietly, rubbing at his eyes again. "And I'm s-sorry… I… I tried to stay in the room for a while, b-but I got scared… I was having all these really scary thoughts and I couldn't ignore them and s-so I came in here…" He hiccuped a few times, shaking a bit more violently.
He sighed, running a hand through his mess of hair. It was kind of sad how he related to some of the words that Nathaniel said. A lot of bad thoughts were in his head all of the time.
"If you're this worked up over it, it probably wasn't stupid. Do you wanna tell me what the dream was about or…?" Zedd trailed off. He didn't really know what the boy wanted in order to calm down. The back of his mind only hoped that Nathaniel would simply say what he wanted so he wasn't miserable in the morning. He also really hated seeing the poor kid cry.
Nathaniel rubbed at his eyes again, hesitating. "U-Um… nothing different than what I normally dream about… I-I should really be used to it by now, but it always feels s-so real…" He fidgeted with his wings, keeping his eyes closed. "J-Just… I always see myself getting shot down, over and over… and… and I see when they k-killed Lloyd… g-god, it was horrible…" Nathaniel whispered weakly, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. "T-They killed him right in front of me… h… h-he was just trying to protect me because I was stupid and I got scared and froze up…"
Zedd raised a brow. "Lloyd…?" he asked, feeling a bit curious about who Nathaniel was talking about. He supposed in some ways it didn't really matter. Seeing anyone murdered in front of you would be pretty traumatic. Even though he barely knew the boy beside him, it would be horrible to ever see him die so young. Hell, it pissed him off just seeing him hurt.
"L-Lloyd was my big brother…" Nathaniel hiccuped, toying with the strings of the hoodie he was wearing to occupy his trembling hands. "They… t-they sent me out to battle when I was seven, and… and I got s-scared, and I… I froze up, s-so Lloyd had to… had to come p-protect me, and… and when he turned around to check if I was okay, t-they killed him…" Nathaniel sobbed, struggling to breathe at this point. "It's all my f-fault… I-I shouldn't have froze up like that, I… I'd been training all my life, b-but real battles are different… and I-I just… Lloyd was only f-fifteen… he had his whole life ahead of him and my stupid mistake got him killed!"
Zeddicus was more than a little surprised to hear that Nathaniel had been put out into war at only seven years old. The boy looked barely older than seven as it was. What really set him off was that the angel was blaming himself for experiencing fear. Not caring that he wasn't fully awake, Zedd set his hands on Nathaniel's shoulders firmly. "Stop that. You're far too young to have had to fight like that. Of course it was terrifying. Your brother was worried about you. Would he want you to blame yourself after he protected you? Probably not. It's not gonna go away because I said that, but you've got to stop blaming yourself."
Nathaniel hiccuped and clung to Zedd once the man touched his shoulders. He sobbed shakily, his entire body quivering as he struggled to calm down. "I-I m… m-miss him…" He stammered, huddling close to Zedd. "H… H-He was the only one who ever c-cared and now he's gone and it's all my f-fault and I just wanna see him again or hear his voice b-but I can't!" He choked on his sobs, trying to shield himself with his crumpled wings. "And I shouldn't be bothering your with my problems and I'm s-sorry…"
Zeddicus blinked a moment after the sudden embrace, but lightly wrapped his arms around Nathaniel as well. It felt a bit odd, but if this would help, then he'd stay this way awhile longer. It was also out of character for him when he frowned hearing the words "the only one who cared." He supposed it seemed that he didn't entirely care at times. "Don't apologise. It's okay… I don't mind it if this is helping…"
Nathaniel huddled close to Zedd, crying softly for a while. He seemed to gradually relax the longer Zedd held him close, and eventually, his crying subsided for the most part. He was still shaking and seemed distressed, but he was now almost eerily silent. He stayed as close to Zedd as possible, his shaking only ceasing when he finally passed out in Zedd's arms. He was exhausted from the events of the day, but also just from crying.
His shirt was now damp in some areas from where Nathaniel had been crying up against him. As soon as the boy had stopped trembling, and Zedd heard deep and even breaths, his brain seemed to take the opportunity for him to fall back into unconsciousness again. He didn't even care if Nathaniel went back to his own bed or stayed in his arms at this point. Honestly, this would have been one of the best nights of rest he had gotten in awhile had he not lost an hour or so of sleep. For once, Zedd had a decent enough dream that night as well.
Only for his alarm to wake him up and ruin it all.
Zeddicus groaned dramatically as he half let go of the small body in his arms to press snooze on the clock. Still not entirely awake, the man rested his chin lightly on top of Nathaniel's head as he tried to get a few more minutes of sleep.
(maddie !! how could you??? now i just wanna hug the poor bby and never let anything bad touch him again lkjsdflkdlkjdfsklj- i'm getting too attached and you're not helpingggggg)
Nathaniel purred weakly in his sleep and huddled close to Zedd, whining a bit at the alarm, but staying asleep regardless. He was still exhausted and could easily sleep for a few more hours despite not being used to sleeping in late. At the least, he was very still in his sleep, which meant he hadn't had any more nightmares while he was huddled up with Zedd.
Zedd held Nathaniel close to himself subconsciously, enjoying the warmth the other gave. Were he more awake, he probably would have let go by now, unused to so much physical contact. He didn't seem to care at the moment however. Shortly after he fell asleep, the alarm rang once again. Frowning, Zeddicus rolled over, actually releasing Nathaniel from his hold to actually get out of bed. He tried to be careful not to wake the other up. The angel had had a rough night as it was.
Nathaniel huddled up into the covers when Zedd left, shivering for a few seconds before settling back down again. He sighed softly and smiled a bit in his sleep, resuming his quiet, contented purring. He seemed stable enough for now, and by stable, he basically just wasn't having a nightmare at the moment. He was likely going to be very sore from the events of the previous day when he woke up.
Zedd blinked tiredly, watching the small boy a moment before moving to grab some clothes from his dresser. He really didn't feel like working, but it wasn't often that he did. After finding a deep blue sweater and gray slacks, the man treaded out of the room to get dressed in the bathroom. It felt weird to not be dressing in his bedroom, instead standing on the cold tile, but he didn't really feel comfortable doing so in the same room as Nathaniel.
Now dressed, he stepped out into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee, put on his shoes, and descended down the stairway.
Nathaniel soon stirred after Zedd left him alone. It felt like there was an odd chill in the room despite the fact that Nathaniel had always slept alone. "Mr. Zeddicus?" He called out, slipping out of bed to go look for Zedd. He shivered once out of the warm blanket cocoon, but continued on. "H-Hello? Are… are you still here, sir?" He looked around nervously, fidgeting with the oversized sleeves of the hoodie he was wearing as he wandered through the apartment.
Meanwhile, Zeddicus had just finished setting up everything downstairs, turning the sign on the door to open and unlocking it. Rubbing at his eyes, he went to go sit behind the front desk to sip at his coffee. A few minutes passed before someone already entered. "Damn, you look awful," a regular patron joked. Zedd rolled his eyes playfully. At least he had a few people in the world he at least somewhat liked. The man in front of him had shorter light brown hair which had slight waves to it. He was quite muscular and tall as well. The two men seemed to be a decent fit as they were both intimidating, except Zedd was less cheery. The other man was also noticably darker than Zedd with a caramel colored tan. "Same to you," Zedd replied sarcastically. "So what the hell is it you need today, hm?"
The customer usually was always hurting himself or needed something to help his boyfriend's nightmares.
"Cameron's been constantly worried over all the scars on my back and swears he'll start protesting our occasional dates if I don't do something about them."
"Mr. Zeddicus?" Nathaniel called out again, growing a little worried about the lack of response. He headed downstairs, yawning and rubbing at his eyes. He still seemed to be exhausted and he was pretty sluggish. "Oh! There you are!" He noticed Zedd and headed over to him, smiling softly. He seemed confused when he noticed the other man in the room. "Hello! I'm Nathaniel. Nice to meet you! Are you friends with Mr. Zeddicus?" He asked, politely holding out his small hand to shake the hand of the stranger. He fluttered his wings a bit before folding them tightly to his back.
A light smile spread over the other man's lips as he crouched down closer to Nathaniel's level. "I am, despite the fact that Zedd will never say it out loud," he joked. "Call me Cal," he said, taking the angel's hand gently. After letting go, Cal stood back up to his full height. "Since when did you get a kid? I didn't think you ever wanted to adopt-"
Cal was cut off quickly. "It's a long story, but he's not mine. Obviously," Zedd stated. The other male pursed his lips, looking between Nathaniel and Zeddicus. "He's cute," Cal complimented.
"I was living on the streets so Mr. Zeddicus said I could live here and sell knives!" Nathaniel grinned, fidgeting with the hoodie sleeves again. He pulled out the little dagger he'd made and showed it to Cal. "See? I make them myself! I made this one back when I lived at home since we don't have the stuff here yet." He seemed quite pleased with himself and didn't seem to realize that this was not a normal subject for conversation. "Mr. Zeddicus said that it's good and I should sell knives like this here, and I can live here!"
