forum Choking on Crimson Ash [OxO // mature 18+ // closed]

Started May 16, 2023 by @ElderGod-Carrots

tune

Caeso damned near spluttered as he was grabbed by the collar and forced to walk. No. What the fuck did he mean no? Nari couldn't tell him what to do. He was his own person, he knew his limits, and he would be fine. Who was the spirit to say when or when he couldn't rest? It didn't help that they were so high up that Caeso couldn't fight against that grip on him even though he wanted. He wasn't about to risk falling to his death and Nari was keeping him steady as they headed all the way to the top and he was dragged inside. He guessed that was the one good thing about being held onto, as much as he hated it, because he had been wobbly and unsteady on his feet. At least now he would be able to get inside and that was one less worry that he had to focus on.

And Nari was muttering under his breath and even Caeso couldn't understand what he was saying even though they were so close. If the spirit was annoyed, the captain was doubly annoyed. He didn't need to be babied. He didn't need to be taken care of. He didn't need Nari pressing down his neck and telling him to do this that and the other. It was unnecessary and a waste of time and clearly, the spirit didn't want to be doing it, so why was he? The sudden concern for his well-being was probably the strangest part of the entire thing.

By now that heat in his cheeks wasn't due to the face touching, it really was because he was angry and huffy and annoyed. Nari wasn't allowed to be touching his face so gently one second, swiping his fingers under his eyes and across his cheeks to feel the skin and the warmth, and then dragging him away a moment later. Gods, the spirit was going to be the death of him. Nari was going to be the one to end him before Ezekt did at this point, with the teasing and the changing in how he was treated every two seconds. Why couldn't he just stick to one thing, like being an asshole, because it would make his life a whole lot easier? Easier, because it meant that there was absolutely no chance of them forming any sort of attachments and they could part ways with one another after all this bullshit was over and done with. Or, if one of them died, the loss wouldn't be as much of an impact emotionally. But no. It had to be a confusing mess of bullshit within the span of an hour and Caeso was not enjoying himself one bit.

Although the noises coming from inside had Caeso's attention being drawn away from the spirit and to whatever the hell was going on inside. His frown this time was not because of Nari, but from confusion as to what - or who - was causing such a racket. Was it a friend? It had to be if they were able to get inside and through the charms that his new companion had set up. There was no other explanation.

Nari dragged Caeso all the way up the tree until they were shadowed and surrounded by the thicket of branches, leaves, and vines hanging all over them. The trunk extended up just far enough here that there was a door nestled within the bark, camouflaged enough that it wasn't immediately clear what was there on the off-chance it was seen through all the green. When they made it and there was enough around them that he didn't have to worry about Caeso losing his balance and falling to the ground—just into another branch—he let go of his shirt collar and turned to him. The spirit's mouth opened as he raised a hand, then he closed it and let out a long exhale. He was annoyed, and for several reasons. Most were related to the captain before him, but that didn't justify taking it out on him or being an ass about his lack of survival instincts.

Getting close to him once more to force Caeso's undivided attention, Nari held up a finger and started counting off as he talked. "First thing, don't take anything to heart. He's just like me. Don't be afraid to give him the shove off. Second, don't give him anything to use against you, because he will. Make yourself comfortable, but don't drop your guard too much. Don't take anything he says at face value, and don't let him con you into anything. And…" Nari moved like he wanted to touch the other's chin, but ultimately dropped his hand and backed away, shaking his head. "Keep your things close. He's greedy and sly."

He could've not given any warnings about his friend, but Nari felt it necessary. And, it was a bit dickish to throw Caeso to the winged wolf without preparation. Eiya was his friend who he loved dearly, but he was every sense a malevolent spirit. He was selfish and hadn't changed since his past life, had no care to ever change. He could be nice, and he was often sweet on Nari, but strangers who threatened the integrity of his things? The captain would stand no chance against him without preparation or knowledge on what to expect. And Nari would protect him as much as he could while balancing the two of them.

With that, he backed off and opened the door, already heaving a great sigh when there was a bang of pots clattering and a very colorful curse. Nari beckoned for Caeso to follow him down the stairs, then yelled through the door, "I swear on your grave, if you destroy my kitchen because of those fucking wings, I'm plucking them." There was another swear, then a snicker as the clattering stopped and there was a rustle of something dragging against a wooden floor.

The staircase spiraled down until it reached a roomy opening, with a basic kitchen area connected to a larger space for seating covered in pillows and blankets, which all spilled onto the floor like nests along with rugs. Floating balls of blue and orange lights lit up the area as they bobbed towards the ceiling. Leaning against the wall between the two areas was another spirit. 6'4, with thick shoulder-length black hair that was wavy and neatly styled, tanned and leanly built with muscle beneath the revealing silk clothing. Slim mono-lidded eyes seemingly made of pirate's gold glittered as they stared at them, with sharp and solid black facial markings that ran around his eyes and down the bridge of his nose. Red dusted his hair, and giant black and brown feathered wings were folded at his back, innocent despite the littering of feathers all through the kitchen where things were clearly knocked around.

Caeso would have thanked Nari for the warnings about the friend he was about to meet but ultimately kept his mouth shut for the time being. For one, having to deal with two spirits was already pissing him off, especially if the other was just like Nari, even though he hadn't even met him yet. Typically, but also expected, that the people that Nari surrounded himself with were just like him. Obnoxious and arrogant and stubborn. The captain was in no way going to let his guard down regardless of where they were and who they were with. For one, he wasn't intending on resting, as Nari had said they were going to, which meant he was able to keep an eye on his things and make sure neither of them stole or rifled through them while he was passed out. If Nari wanted him to sleep he was going to have to put a charm on him at this rate. He was just as stubborn, that should be obvious by now, and he wasn't about to let the spirit tell him what to do.

Down the stairs and into that room, Caeso took in the new environment. It was nice, he would admit. Even if a bit cluttered and messy with all those pillows thrown around everywhere and now the feathers that were lining the floor. What really caught his attention were the lights. He couldn't help but be drawn to them, considering his magic was connected to all things related. The glow they emitted had him wanting to reach out and take it in his hands, move the light between his fingers and see how it felt along his skin. But although tempted, shown in how his eyes were drawn to them almost instantly, he didn't. Just watched them bob for a little longer than probably normal before turning his attention away from the lights and to the new spirit.

Of course he had to be tall. Did Nari just have a thing for being friends with people who were tall? Or was he just short? Well, Caeso knew he wasn't short he was average height, Nari was just extremely tall and his friend, although shorter than Nari, was still taller. And those wings. Caeso hadn't seen anything like them before. They were impressive, same with those gold eyes and those markings. He guessed all spirits had markings similar to them considering Nari had his own, too. Interesting. This trip was going to have him learning a lot about spirits and how they worked over the course of their time together, he knew that much already. The captain cleared his throat. He didn't quite know what to say, but he guessed a greeting was where he should start, "Uh- Hello."

Did he comment on the mess that he made? No, he didn't think that was appropriate. Nari had said to make himself comfortable, and so that was what he was going to attempt to do, at least. It was why Caeso moved to one of the bundles of blankets and pillows and sat himself down. Gods his feet hurt. After being on them for most of the day, running around dealing with all the shit going on he felt as if he hadn't had a moment's peace. The only time he had been sat all day had been in the library and that had been less then comfortable. At last here he had a pillow, or five.

Eiya beamed at Caeso, revealing teeth that weren't sharp like Nari's. "Hi," he greeted, then watched curiously as the man moved into the seating area and dropped into one of the piles of blankets and pillows. His attention on him was hawklike and curious, with many questions swirling within his golden irises, but mostly his sharp gaze was assessing. Like he was sizing Caeso up—and looking for anything he might be able to capitalize on. Nari noticed the odd silence within seconds and sighed, batting at the shorter spirit to knock his attention away from Caeso and onto him. It worked, albeit a bit too well. There was a spark of mischief in the man's expression and the shifting of his posture right before he dove for his friend.

Nari tried backing away, but Eiya was quicker. He scooped up Nari into his arms and forced the fox spirit to wrap his legs around his waist to avoid dangling uncomfortably, then moved further into the kitchen with a smug look on his face, eyes up and on Nari. "Eiya," Nari scolded, pushing at the man's chest even if amusement started seeping into the annoyance he tried holding up. Giggles bubbled through as he said sternly, "Put me down."

"C'mon," Eiya whined, shifting his hold so that he held onto Nari's thighs and did not, in fact, put him down. "I just found out that you're not dead in a pile of wood and ash, and I want to show my appreciation that you're alive. Is that such a crime?" His grin was anything but innocent, even verging on salacious. "Loosen up a bit, yeah? You know you want to. Nothing like a bit of stress relief."

Nari cracked. A sly look settled on his face as he rested his forearms on Eiya's shoulders and tilted his face down at him. "You can't handle me." And he couldn't. He had always known that Eiya's 'joking' crush on him existed, and that it was real, but he never encouraged it beyond gentle flirts here and there. Always, though, he made sure it never progressed any further and gave reminders that it wouldn't happen. Eiya didn't know the true extent of what Nari wanted from a relationship—needed, really—and though he insisted that he could handle him, he couldn't. The former pirate was a captain, a leader, who sought out everything he could take in the most obnoxious way possible. Nari loved him as a friend, but would never want anything more from him. It didn't stop Eiya from trying, and he was really amping it up right now with the grip on his legs and the refusal to put him down. Staking his claim, undoubtably. Nari flicked between his eyes and snapped his teeth. "Put me down."

Huffing, Eiya tossed him up, and before Nari could catch himself and get away, he grabbed him again and had him slung over his shoulder. "Nope. I missed you. Let me recharge my fix, and then I'll put you down." With Nari's face not right in front of him, Eiya's gaze flickered over to Caeso in short glances, his curiosity and possessiveness getting the better of him. "Plus, you brought home someone. What's this?"

Nari wiggled enough to prop his elbows on Eiya's shoulder and glared over his own shoulder at the other spirit. "Leave him be."

At least Nari had given him a heads-up on what the other spirit was like. Just as Caeso had predicted, the other spirit was just as obnoxious as he was. Eiya, it seemed, exuded that personality and vibe even from the outside of the home. He didn't want to judge, but that was exactly what he was going. Silently, and he kept his face in a solid neutral and unmoving expression even as his thoughts raced. All those years of sitting in on royal meetings and being unable to comment on the bullshit that went on inside, not being able to give a hint at what he was truly thinking or feeling, was certainly coming in handy. Because from the way the other spirit was looking at him as if he was some kind of competition had Caeso ready to comment but he didn't. As much as having those gold eyes narrowed on him had the captain wanting to return the look, he knew better of it. There was no need for that.

It did however, have him registering what his thoughts on the whole situation actually were. Jealous? No, he wasn't jealous. But the fact that he wanted to make a comment on Eiya's looks and that possessive hold he had over Nari was certainly an indicator that he might have been just a little jealous. Why? Caeso didn't know. Didn't know if he wanted to know, for that matter, considering Nari was an asshole, too, and a majorly annoying one he was going to be stuck with for the near future. Something about that hold and that look that the other spirit was giving him, however, didn't sit well. He wasn't competition. There was no competition because he didn't even like Nari all that much and they had just met. The other man was delusional if he thought anything was going on between them.

But the rising feeling of annoyance - not at Nari this time, for once - was unexplainable. Especially as he watched the two interact. Caeso spun one of his rings over his fingers as if tossing a coin around, a move that allowed him to focus his feelings and attention on something else other than the two spirits in front of him. It wasn't working that well, unfortunately. In fact, it was difficult to turn his attention away from Nari when he was talking about how Eiya couldn't handle him and what that comment might imply. Yeah, he was more than grateful for the ability to mask his feelings in tense situations. Something that the new spirit didn't seem to be able to do considering the look he was being given, and how his grip on Nari only seemed to tighten a little.

"Caeso," The captain said, tilting his head up to meet the spirit's gaze. His look was unwavering, unbothered, and he kept his body language as such as he lounged on the pillows surrounding him, bag comfortably at his feet, "A pleasure." Less than a pleasure but he kept that thought to himself.

Eiya looked Caeso up and down, ignoring how Nari was squirming in his hold to try and get down. "Captain Eiya Hario, and the pleasure is mine." Just like Caeso, he was less than thrilled about meeting the other man. Possessiveness over his things, his people, would always be his downfall. And given how they were meeting, with Nari bringing someone home after not ever doing such—at least, not even Eiya was around—and the current situation was less than ideal. He had gone a while without seeing his best friend, and now that the world was in the state that it was in the Fae lands, it only rubbed salt in the wound. He wanted to keep Nari to himself, keep him in his sight and safe. Caeso wasn't part of that plan, and was therefore a threat.

Nari rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Former captain. You're no longer on the ship. And why do you smell like a typhoon?" Eiya snickered, and he suddenly decided he didn't want to know. "Nevermind. Forget I asked." Tired of being handled and held the way that he was, Nari swiftly twisted around until he slipped free of Eiya's startled grasp and tumbled down to the ground. The impact was minimal, but he still huffed in annoyance at needing to fall in the first place. "This is getting ridiculous. Caeso is staying the night—don't even," he pinned the man with a sharp look, blindness be damned, then got to his feet and rounded on Eiya, "—and he and I are going to leave. I need you to tell Maikota that I'm okay and she doesn't have to worry. I don't know what she's going to see, but just to be on the safe side."

Eiya sniffed indignantly, then leaned against the counter with his arms crossed. "Fine. What are you two even doing? Together?" He didn't like it. That was obvious. Nari could hear it clear as day even without needing to see him. It made a little bit of sense for him to be wary, because spirits were naturally drawn to solitude and especially didn't mingle with people who weren't like them. Nari had never mentioned Caeso, so he was new. What were they doing at a time like this?

Nari crossed his arms, then smirked and decided—why not take advantage of Eiya's affection for him? Nothing harmful, just enough to nip this problem in the bud so that the two men could be civil and he didn't have to deal with the headache of their silent hostility. The fox spirit moved towards Eiya, closer and closer, and the shorter man steadily got more uneasy until he was caged in against the counter with Nari's hands braced on either side of him. Their faces were close, and smugness radiated off of Nari while Eiya shrunk under the proximity and attention. It didn't stop him from grabbing Nari's waist and sliding his hands under his shirt to touch his bare skin. Pointed, even if he didn't look away from the man towering over him.

"Play nice," Nari demanded. His voice was low, and slow as he spelled out what he wanted. Eiya swallowed. "I'm not explaining to you because you won't like it. Just know I'll be fine, and to tell Mai. Okay?" Eiya nodded, and Nari grabbed his wrists to make him let go as he backed away. The other spirit was blushing and staring at Nari with a complicated expression. Like he had just gotten a taste of what he couldn't handle. There was still that rush of spitefulness and the need to insist on an answer, but he also knew that Nari wasn't in the mood to be pushed.

Another captain. Pirate, from the way Nari spoke of ships. Caeso had never had much to do with pirates or any of the kingdoms that boarded the coastal regions of the continent. Indrigos was a good few days travel away from any sort of ocean or inlet and as such he had never had much to do with pirates and their shenanigans. Good thing, too, if he would have had to deal with Eiya, or people like him, had he ever run into them. Made his life easier in the long haul. But it wasn't anything he had to worry about now. For one, Eiya was a spirit and no longer on the ship, so he wasn't a pirate that Caeso would have to deal with in that sense, and he was headed some place where water didn't exactly mix well with fire. No pirates in The Under, at least, only dead ones.

He was almost tempted to make a comment on how Eiya was a former captain, but ultimately kept his mouth shut when it came to that. He had no grounds to stand on there. Caeso could claim he was a captain, too, all he wanted, but with what army? What kingdom? His king had ran so he didn't even have him to protect and he had let his friends, his army die while he, too, had ran from the battle and left them to deal with the mess. He was no better, if not worse, than Eiya in that sense. Only difference was what they had been captains of. Yet another reminder of how he had failed. He now had no home, no king, no army, no friends, fuck, he didn't know if he actual family were alive or not anymore. The only thing keeping him going was the soft glimmer of hope that he might be able to save someone, or at least save what was left of his city in order for someone to start fresh and rebuild. Those thoughts only settled deeper into his mind and his stomach, and he didn't fight them.

But then he was watching the two spirits and Nari was trapping Eiya to that counter and the smaller spirit was touching him in a way that Caeso did not like. It was stupid, really, this little rivalry the two strangers had formed within seconds of meeting even though there was no competition and no reason for them to have done so. Caeso wasn't interested in Nari. Not in that way, not in the way Eiya seemed to be from the way he blushed and touched at the other. And yet he was still finding it infuriating to watch. His mind flashed back to the library. When Nari had backed him up against the end of the book shelf and towered over him with that stupid grin that he was likely giving Eiya now. That was when he caught his own thoughts and frowned, internally scolding himself for the fact that he was getting mad at someone else touching Nari when he didn't really like the dude and he had absolutely no reason to be feeling that way. Maybe he was more tired than he wanted to believe. That had to be it.

Luckily, Nari was backing, and Caeso felt as if he could breathe again. Thank the Gods Nari wasn't about to see him, and thank fuck he was able to remain collected on the outside to not give anything away, "If you two are done flirting then I'd say either we patch up and rest as you so terribly insisted on doing outside, Nari, or we stop wasting time and go." Because it had been the spirit who had been so pushy on the subject of resting and recouping and yet he wasn't doing anything of the sort. They may as well be on their way down to The Under instead of faffing around here.

"Patience is a virtue, love," Nari said without missing a beat, "One that you don't have." He didn't bother with debunking the flirting accusation because the technicalities were too muddy to sort through, and he really didn't care either way what Caeso thought of him and Eiya. Well, maybe he cared a little, but he chalked it up to not wanting to be thought of as shacking up with his best friend. Eiya inched away, wings fluttering nervously as he tried to regroup from having Nari's attention on him in that way. That was new—sort of. Maybe it was his jealousy making him more susceptible to Nari's playful flirts, but he had never been pinned that way before.

Before he could hide away to recoup, Nari snagged Eiya's sleeve and jerked him to a stop. "Can you go find something to eat, please?" With eyes in the sky, the winged spirit would be able to spot anything to either hunt or snag from a shop. Nari could keep them busy with getting washed and patched up while he went and did that, then rest for a while to lose all the tension they both held from the sudden attack from Ezekt's demons. Eiya nodded and ruffled Nari's hair and ears as a playful goodbye, then disappeared up the stairs. Caeso and Nari were once again alone together.

The spirit's ears twisted around, listening to Eiya leave and also focusing on Caeso, who had plopped on one of his nests and hadn't moved since. Then he drummed his nails on one of the counters before pushing off and going over to the man. "We aren't going," he said, stated like a fact because he really didn't want to have a fight with Caeso about something so simple. "There's a bathroom right through there," his head jerked in the direction of the door between the two areas, which took up the rest of the hollowed out trunk, "and bedrooms are downstairs." Another set of stairs that went underground was tucked into the corner of the seating area, out of the way of everything. "Your pick on what you want to do first, but I recommend getting clean first."

And Nari had to deal with the wound that had clotted at some point, but was still open and needed to be cleaned and stitched up. He'd be in his room for that to give Caeso the space to do what he wanted first—either change in the guest room or wash up. Nari crouched in front of Caeso with a soft sigh and rested his arms on his knees, ears going just a little bit floppy as he abandoned his focus on that sense. "I know you want to get going right now. But you need food and washed at the bare minimum before we go anywhere. You reek of demon, and anyone would be able to pick up on it with a good enough nose. And hunger and exhaustion will only slow you down in the long run. It's either stop now and get all the necessities over with, or keep going and end up right back in this situation but with a lot less chance of safe shelter."

Caeso wanted to laugh but the most he could conjure was a dry huff of a chuckle in response. Even though he didn't know that spirits needed less care than Fae did from the way that Nari had instructed Eiya to go find some food, presumably for all of them, he could tell that Nari wasn't exactly well versed in the art of self-care, either. Not if he didn't have anything to eat in the home that was even somewhat suitable for them, "I don't need to be told how to care for myself," He replied, and he met the spirits gaze even if the other wasn't able to see him, "You're the one sporting an open wound. You need to clean up more than I do."

Oh, he was ready for an argument alright. He didn't need to have Nari on his ass about how to take care of himself. He didn't need to be told to rest and eat and clean up because he was more than aware of what he could and couldn't handle. Sure, he was neglecting his own needs for multiple reasons but that wasn't going to stop him from arguing that he was fine and okay. Caeso knew, deep down, that he wasn't. He had never really been fine, not after the death of his prince, but he had pretended to be for the sake of everyone around him. It had only become worse with Ezekt and now he cared little for himself and his own well-being when so many others had died because he was incapable of helping them. This was the least he could do for them. The least he could do to make up for everything that he had failed on previously.

Regardless, surely smelling of demon would be a blessing when it came to being in The Under? By smelling like them there was less chance of being detected by any of the demons that would be lurking around, those that hadn't decided to join the fight on Caeso's lands. It wasn't pleasant by ay means. The blood and goo and gunk of it all was horrible and as much as he had been tuning out the smell for the time being now that he was sitting and focused on it, Caeso knew he did need a wash. That he wouldn't argue about. But resting and staying? No way was he going to let it go that easily. The more time they wasted here the less time they had at saving the rest of his people. He didn't know when they would have a chance at resting somewhere safe again but to him that wasn't important. If Nari wanted to stay and rest here then he could, but there was no chance that Caeso was staying. Nari wasn't the boss of him. He could leave whenever he wanted to, the spirit had been the one to decide to tag along. Caeso hadn't invited him and so it stood that the captain could leave whenever he wished.

"Washing up, fine, but staying and resting? No way. You can stay but I'm going, then." Caeso leaned forwards from where he had been sat back in the nest of pillows. The longer he sat the more inclined he would be to stay since it was far too comfortable. Nari had done a good job when it came to making a nice living space.

Nari wasn't moved. His stare was unimpressed as he said, "And I'll be doing that. I'm not the one denying what I need." Even if Caeso thought he was by the lack of food in his house, he wasn't arguing about it. He knew that he needed to take care of the wound because it was a constant pain in his side, no matter how much he ignored it. But Caeso was as stubborn as they came, and Nari wasn't about to back down from his insistence that he get some much-needed rest. He knew that the man would crash and burn the second the trauma and exhaustion set in, and who knew how long he would need to recover from that. It was better for them both if they just took their breather now to get their wits about them, figure out what they were even doing, and be refreshed in the morning for a long day of travel.

When he heard Caeso shift, Nari moved without really thinking about it. He shifted to kneel, consequently getting closer to the man, and reached out. His fingers ghosted over Caeso's neck, then slid up to his jaw until he could get a hold of his chin and keep him in place. It didn't matter that they were already closer from both of them leaning in—Nari tilted Caeso's face and brought it closer to drive his point home and guarantee all of the man's attention. It was a smooth motion, only stuttered by his blind seeking, but it narrowed his own attention down until it was like tunnel vision. Right in that moment, it was just the two of them and nothing else, like a little bubble only they were in. If he spoke too loud or moved too much, it might pop. The spell might break, and Caeso might elect to ignore him with even more excuse to leave without the spirit. That couldn't happen. Not when Nari could help him and they had the same goal. Not when he might find Caeso's body along the way if he truly left without him.

"I can't let you do that," Nari murmured. His hazy eyes were unwavering from where they were directed at Caeso's face, like he could see right through him and was seeing everything he was feeling. He couldn't, but there was a good enough guess. "If you leave, you will push yourself to the end. You will be weak, mentally and physically, and you will fail. Not because of any shortcomings, but because you will not survive yourself." A gentle nudge, just to keep Caeso's attention on him, and he swiped a thumb over the line of his jaw. "Don't stay because I'm asking you to. If you get yourself clean and fed and still want to leave, fine. We'll deal with that then. But stay long enough to make sure you don't make yourself suffer for nothing. Think about your people, and how good you would be to them in decent health, versus running on nothing but fumes."

If he could just get Caeso to stay long enough to wash up, change, and eat, then maybe Nari could convince him to sleep as well. If not, he had a way to make him sleep that he wouldn't be able to argue against. In the morning, he'd most definitely bitch at the spirit for pulling the stunt, but the damage would be done, and he wouldn't be able to change it or take it back. Nari would call it a win regardless of how he achieved it.

Caeso leaning in had not been an invitation for Nari to touch him, but the fact that they were so close now was hard to ignore and it made it even worse when the spirit reached out and touched him. Gentle hands and soft fingers brushing over his neck, and then his jaw before settling on his chin once again as it had in multiple other instances of their time together thus far. For someone who was so arrogant and obnoxious, boisterous and out going the rest of the time, Nari certainly had a knack for being gentle with him when he wanted to be. So close. So close that Caeso could feel the spirit's breath over his skin. His attention was quick to move from being focused on his own thoughts and the want to argue to being solely on the man in front of him. They were both kneeling now, and Caeso's hands had been braced on the pillows to push himself forwards but he didn't know what to do with them anymore.

Touch Nari? No, definitely not. He had no reason to but to be fair, the spirit had no reason to touch him either. He was only doing it to keep his focus. Without Eiya in the room anymore he didn't need to touch or get this close, and yet neither of them were moving away. Caeso should have, move his face out of the spirit's grip and tell him to fuck off. But he was too enraptured by the other being so close that he couldn't. It was as if he was paralysed, just as he had been in the library when Nari had cornered him. And all of Nari's attention was on him. Not on Eiya who, thank fuck, was no longer around, but on the captain. The thought shouldn't have sent his stomach fluttering or his cheeks heating up but the actions and feelings were involuntary. Caeso silently cursed himself for being so susceptible to touch from others, especially in this sense. Instead, he let his hands come to rest in his lap, grabbing at the end of his own shirt for something to hold onto, something to ground him.

And he almost looked away and moved out of Nari's grip but then the spirit was pulling his attention again once more. Caeso swallowed. He had no doubt that Nari could hear every single movement he made. Every swallow and shaky breath at the close proximity. Because every breath he took in ended up coming out looser than the last. He could blame it on nerves and calming down from the adrenaline all he wanted but he knew that wasn't going to get past the sneaky spirit no matter how much he tried. All he could do was hope that Nari wasn't going to comment on it or move his hands to his cheeks to feel how red and hot they were. Caeso silently cursed the man for being able to so effortlessly have this effect on him despite not knowing the man well. Maybe this was an everyone thing. Maybe this wasn't just a Caeso thing and he could do this with everyone and it was just his personality. Yeah, that had to be it.

"I've gone further on less sleep and food," He managed to whisper, swallowing another lump in his throat, "Dealt with worse. I can survive. I'll be fine. With or without you, I'll be fine." He had done this shit hundreds of times. On a smaller scale, maybe, but it was the same premise and he had done so without Nari on his ass about self care. But to get the spirit off his back about it, he relented, only a little, "I'll wash. But that's it."

"With or without all those deaths?" Because Nari couldn't forget Caeso's breakdown. He couldn't forget how the captain had been so traumatized and haunted that he had sought out comfort from not only a stranger, but from one that he had disliked. He couldn't forget the feeling of having him hidden away against his chest as his home burned and his people and friends were slaughtered in the worst way possible. Nari knew that Caeso was refusing to really process it, knew that he was reeling from a traumatizing experience, but he couldn't let him self destruct like that. He claimed he was fine, but it was obvious he wasn't. Not when he had been so vulnerable and shaken just moments earlier. Nari didn't want to have to fight him on this, didn't want to force him into anything, but if he had to, he would. The concern he held for Caeso was unprecedented in the sense they were strangers, but he had always had a caring heart beneath the chipper and flippant attitude. He took care of people. He wanted people happy. The captain before him wasn't an exception.

Nari slid his hand back to cup Caeso's jaw and get a better grip, though that ended up drawing them even closer than intended—and it revealed the creeping warmth in Caeso's cheek. He didn't acknowledge it, nor did he acknowledge the shaky breaths or nervous swallows, but he knew. He heard and felt it, even the thump of Caeso's heart beating. This close, it would be a miracle if he didn't hear it even with him not paying attention to what he could hear. So outside hadn't been a random response. This, holding him like this, got this type of reaction out of Caeso. A part of him felt guilty, because in a way he was taking advantage of that just like he had done with Eiya, but it was different with the captain. It only chewed the guilt deeper into his conscious. He shouldn't be taking advantage of this reaction to get Caeso to listen, but it was the only thing he could think of in the moment to really have his attention on him and listen to what he was saying.

So he ignored it. Even if his fingers crept just a fraction to feel more of the heat, like he was seeking out warmth to counter his cold—he ignored it. Nari tilted his head and just barely avoided their noses brushing, though he remained oblivious to that close call. "You'll wash, then you'll eat. Please." It wasn't often he asked for something like that, but demands weren't going through. Caeso was too stubborn of mind to respond to demands, and his mind had to be clattering with nothing but what he had just seen and witnessed. Death like that was not good for anyone. It made even Nari sick to his stomach with all he had sensed, and he had known what Ezekt was capable of. Of others. People he was… close to. But on this scale, it was horrifying. Caeso needed the rest, the break to take care of himself until he pushed himself to the brink, or else he wouldn't make it as far as he could.

Nari shifted, and his free hand suddenly touched Caeso's neck. Gentle, light, like he was grounding the man himself with just a featherlight pressure of fingers right next the hollow of his throat and the curve into his shoulder. He didn't know why he felt the sudden need to do so, but it also kept him steady without needing to move or shift. He was afraid that if he did move too much, Caeso would snap out of it and shove him away again. The last time he hadn't cared; it wasn't as important. But this time, he needed that full attention. It wasn't a simple game.

This time when Caeso swallowed it wasn't because of Nari's touches. It was because of the reminder that he was given about those deaths and how it was far from ordinary and far from what he had been used to in any other situation. Sure, the captain had seen battle, but not on a scale like this and certainly not a battle that consisted of his friends screaming out for him of all people, to save them as they were ripped to shreds. War was different. It consisted of understanding that there would be losses on both sides of the fight but you went in prepared for those deaths, prepared for the fact that you might lose some friends at the end of it all. But you knew. You knew that was what was going to happen, and everyone took that risk when it came to battling those like him. But demons? The attack on the city? That had been unprepared for, out of the blue, an ambush and one none of them had been ready for. And the enemy wasn't something that could be easily killed with a simple slash of a sword or magical attack. His men had been trained fighters and yet none of them had survived, and all of them had called for him to save him because there was no one else to do so. At least in war, they were aware that they might die, but today none of them had known that was how they were to end up, and the only thing they could do was cry for help.

Caeso didn't blame them, he would have done the same had he been on the other end of a demon attack with no way out, but that wasn't going to stop him from feeling guilty and to blame. Self-destruction was his middle name whether or not he was aware of it. Ever since he was a kid he had pushed himself past his limits and chalked it down to simply being stubborn as well as his desperate need to succeed and prove himself. Nothing more, nothing less, just the fact that he was determined and not because he had some deep insecurities and issues he refused to acknowledge or address. Like the desire to be perfect and please and be the captain and leader everyone needed. Falling short on that was like stepping on hot coals and stabbing needles into his heart at the same time. It was exactly what he had done today by leaving.

Continuing on without processing those facts was the only way he knew how to function. He had broken down back at the palace and that had been embarrassing enough and he wasn't about to let that happen again. The more he thought about it, the more he would break, and the more chance there was that he would stall them. If he moved, if he kept moving, no matter how tired, he wouldn't have to think about it. Moving and marching towards his end goals meant he could redeem himself, at least a little, for those that he had failed today. Caeso didn't want the man he had just met to have to see that side of him again. The one that broke down and was soft when he shouldn't be. But Nari had a stupid fucking ability to get in his head and Caeso didn't like that he was able to do so.

And then the spirit was moving both his hands and Caeso didn't know what instinct or thought he should be functioning on anymore. Because on the one hand, he wanted to scream and yell and argue and march out of there, but he physically couldn't because Nari had a hold on him, figuratively and literally. He was sure that the spirit could feel the warmth in his cheeks, and it only grew with the move, especially when their noses were so close, when they were mere inches apart from one another. He was sure that Nari could feel the way his throat bobbed at that featherlight touch on his neck and how he instinctively leaned into the touch before he knew what he was doing. He was sure that Nari would be more than aware of the fact that Caeso moved his hands to lightly graze his fingers over the spirit's knees, a move that could be taken as simply keeping his balance, but probably wasn't, and he was sure that, had the spirit not been blind, he would have seen Caeso's gaze flick across his face to places over than his eyes before settling back there again, "You have no food in your house."

Nari's smile was gentle and patient, just a tiny lift of his lips. He was getting there, slowly. It would take a lot more convincing to get Caeso to stay the night like he needed to, and it may just end up being Nari ignoring his argument entirely, but they would burn that bridge when they get there. For now, the spirit would take the win while he could and eventually wear Caeso down until he accepted the fact that he needed to be taken care of if he wasn't going to take care of himself. And Nari, evidently, would be that person to take care of him. It was an odd feeling, volunteering to care for someone like he was and feeling a sort of warmth in his chest at being allowed just a little bit of room to do so. He didn't know what it was, or why, but he just knew that he would keep doing this. Insist again and again until Caeso finally accepted that he needed to regularly make sure he was healthy, even if that meant having Nari do it all.

The spirit moved just the slightest bit before coming to a halt. It almost seemed like he had been wanting to press their faces together, close the distance, and rest his forehead against Caeso's. Strands of fluffy blonde hair slid down into his face, covering his eyes and drifting over his nose. He didn't react, even if the ones on his nose made it twitch a little from being ticklish. He didn't move any closer, either, because there wasn't any need to. He did shift ever so slightly, the smallest encouragement of the captain's touch without directly acknowledging it. Even with that, and how Caeso leaned into his touch to his neck, Nari didn't have a legitimate excuse to push the boundary of strangers than he already had. Instead, he moved his one hand to properly cup Caeso's cheek. To comfort. That was the excuse he had if asked. Comfort. Caeso was too quiet to be okay after Nari had brought up the deaths, so he cupped his cheek and gently swiped his thumb over the skin of Caeso's neck with his other hand.

"I have some food," he said, smiling just a little more. "But it's not enough for a meal. Eiya is going out to get some, and then I'll be making us dinner." Because he didn't trust Eiya to do it, and he wanted Caeso to relax and not worry about anything. "We should be done with washing up and changing by the time he gets back." And at that point, there wouldn't be a reason for Caeso to deny food, because it would be right there. He could sit right here, do nothing and worry about nothing, and Nari could get all the food ready for them. Then they could go to sleep and be ready to set out in the morning.

Nari left it at that, not pushing and arguing, just letting Caeso sit with that information and do with it what he will. He tried to ignore the heat of Caeso's cheek or how natural it felt to have his face in his hand, like it was meant to be framed by his touch. He couldn't stop himself from the idle strokes of his thumb, but he could keep his touch where it was. Caeso might be very easy to fluster and get reactions out of, but that didn't mean Nari was immune to feeling and hearing every one. It softened him, made whatever annoyance he had held for the captain slowly fade away and have patience and gentleness replace it. The man no longer being brash and argumentative—at the moment—helped too, but it didn't explain the little voice in his head telling him to get closer and stay close now that he had allowed himself to really acknowledge their proximity. It was better when Caeso didn't reciprocate. he could ignore it and think nothing of it when it was him getting the attention of the other man, but when Caeso reached out to Nari in return? Leaned into his touch? It forced the spirit to really think about it and notice, and that wasn't good.

Caeso couldn't help himself from leaning into the touches he was given. It was instinctual, both from the fact that the captain was subconsciously seeking comfort from the man that was right in front of him but also because it somehow felt right to do so. He would ignore that for now. He didn't need to be thinking about what it might imply or mean if he put too much thought into the reasons as to what he was doing when Nari was so close to him. Close enough that the spirit was practically speaking onto his features, that his breathing tickled his face and he could feel each inhale and exhale, the change of the air around them. Being this close to someone he didn't know was strange but he was finding that the longer they stayed like this, the more he liked it, and the more he enjoyed being this close with Nari.

The touch that the captain made to the spirit's knee moved as the other did until his palm came to rest, not just his fingertips. But when he saw and felt the other's hair shift he couldn't stop himself from reaching up with his other hand and brushing the strands away. He noted the shift in his features, as much as Nari couldn't see and that the hair in front of his eyes wasn't a bother, his nose twitched enough that Caeso felt that he should move it to make him more comfortable. Logically, he was aware that there was no need to do so, but he couldn't stop himself, just as Nari hadn't stopped himself when it came to brushing his thumb under his eyes and cheeks in a motion that was more soothing than it had any right to be. It was why Caeso was leaning into it. The reason as to why his cheeks were warming even more and he was aware Nari could definitely feel that now, was a mystery and something else he wasn't willing to unpack at the present moment.

It didn't help that the spirit was wearing him down when it came to his basic needs. The exhaustion of everything was catching up finally now that they had stopped for longer than five minutes and he had been reminded of it all. Whether it was intentional or not, it didn't matter. His mind was somewhere else even if his body was with Nari and half of his head was there. Difficult to think of anything else when their whole aim was to take down the God that had caused such death and destruction. Difficult to focus on caring for himself when he felt there was no need for him to do so. All those thoughts swirled around and he was sure they were as clear as day on his face, Caeso was just glad that Nari wasn't able to see. He was sure that if the spirit had been able to, he would have insisted on resting for even longer than just a night.

Wash. Food. Rest. Three things that Nari was looking for him to do. Caeso could do the washing part, he knew that it was needed regardless because he stunk and he wasn't exactly happy about being in the same clothes he had watched his friends die in, which had splatterings of blood that he didn't know whether it was his or theirs. Would he even be able to stomach eating? The thought had him wanting to gag because after what he had seen had been awful and he didn't know whether he would be able to keep anything down if he tried, "Clean first. Then- then maybe something to eat." Maybe, because he would have to see if he was able to stomach anything no matter if he was hungry or not.

Nari startled some when he felt a touch to his face. It was just the lightest brush, more intent on brushing away the hair in his face than actually touching him, but he felt the whisp of skin against his right as he no longer had that ticklish feeling on his nose. That, out of everything, is what had him blinking and buffering. It shouldn't have effected him as much as it did, but Caeso had no reason. No reason at all to be gentle and touchy with him. Nari could justify himself by saying that it was a means to an end with a solid pinch of comfort, the way he was holding the captain's face in his hands. And being so close… he was blind. Who was to say he knew exactly where he was or what he was doing? Nevermind the fact that he could feel every time Caeso breathed, or could feel the heat of his natural warmth that also seeped through his palm into the spirit's knee. Nevermind that he knew just what he was doing because he wasn't stupid. They were close enough that it would take nothing for him to lean forward and knock their noses together, if not some other part.

But Caeso. Caeso wasn't pulling away. He was, in fact, beat red and leaning into him. Brushing Nari's hair from his face and and doing nothing to take away the hold on his face. At this point, Nari wasn't even holding him hostage. His grip had loosened into nothing, his hand now a cradle for the man's face to rest in. His touch moved to trace over cheekbone and soft skin, finding those eyebags he has sought out before once again. This time, as he traced over the crease, he wasn't searching, but rather contemplative and only more determined to make Caeso get some sleep. He needed it desperately. The dreams, they would be banished regardless of how Nari managed to get him to sleep.

When Caeso finally responded, Nari's eyes crinkled in the smallest of smiles, like he was silently praising him for accepting the care he needed. The spirit bopped Caeso on the nose with his thumb, though his hand barely moved from where it stayed against his cheek. "We'll try something small." Maybe a stew, if he had the right things. Eiya would undoubtedly loot someplace for the food, of he wasn't hunting for it. Nari chose to think the best of his friend and hope he wouldn't take advantage of a tragedy and instead steal from some other thriving city.

But now that Caeso accepted his help, or at least half of it, there wasn't further reason to stay as they were. Nari hesitated, lips parting and eyes shifting to the side. He should let go. He didn't need Caeso's attention on him, didn't need to hold him like he was or keep him eye level. The touch to Caeso's face slackened just slightly, but the curl and swipe of his fingers was softer and more soothing than before, and Nari wanted to keep that gentle heat. Caeso… Caeso was still mourning. It was unfair of Nari to take advantage of anything the man was feeling, but he wouldn't pull away until Caeso did. He would stay until he wasn't needed anymore, then they could pop the bubble and be on their way. Then nothing had happened, they were back to civil dislike, and he wouldn't think about the foreign warmth mingling with his cold. Nari had taken what he wanted—now he was giving the floor to Caeso.

Caeso knew he should move. He should pull away. He should get out of Nari's space and go to the bathroom and clean himself up just as he said he was going to do. He should, but he didn't. Not yet. He was too busy basking in the comfort that the spirit was offering and giving him so easily to think about moving. He didn't know when the next time would be when he was able to take something so freely without having to ask for it, and he doubted that he would ever get this sort of attention from Nari again, either. The only reason they were like this was because Nari was insistent on him taking care of himself and Caeso was stubborn and didn't feel as if he deserved or need it. But the spirit thought differently and had gotten so close in order to gain his attention and keep his eyes on him. Now there was no need for any of it well.

Well, that was a lie. The captain was grieving and mourning and he needed all the comfort he could get it was just a case of whether or not he would allow himself to do so. At the moment, the answer was no. At least that was what he was trying to tell himself. He was trying to stop himself from feeling anything, it was why he wanted to keep going. Focusing on travelling, on necessities, on getting to The Under meant he didn't have to face the fact that he had failed and lost so many. It meant he could block out and ignore all his emotions because they weren't needed and were only going to slow him down. If he broke at the smallest things then they weren't going to get very far. But this wasn't small. This was, in fact, the opposite of small. He had just lost his entire home, most of his friends and family and he had been incapable of stopping it. That wasn't small or something to ignore or disregard.

But he didn't know what else to do. Caeso wasn't allowing himself to break down again. He had already sort comfort in Nari once, back in his chambers when those screams had been so loud that even blocking his ears and trying to focus on Nari's voice hadn't removed them completely. Seeking comfort in the spirit once again felt selfish. He wasn't about to let himself be that person. But Nari's hand encompassed his whole cheek that when he bopped his nose he only had to move his thumb slightly to do so. When he accepted potentially eating something the man had smiled a little more and his eyes crinkled at the corners. Caeso found himself staring at the spirit's features, taking them in one last time because he doubted they would ever be this close again.

That was when finally, he moved. The hand that had been resting on Nari's knee came to rest on the floor and he used it to push himself back onto his heels and out of Nari's hand before he stood. Caeso could still feel the ghost of the spirit's hand over his cheek and he resisted the urge to reach up and touch it. Instead, he picked up his bag from where he had cast it aside only feet away and stepped back, "I'll go wash up." He said, and with that he hurried to down those stairs to the bathroom.

Nari couldn't see, that much was still painfully obvious, but he liked to think that Caeso was looking at him half as softly as the spirit felt towards him. That the invisible gaze on him wasn't with annoyance or contempt like it had been before. That, just this moment, things weren't real. That it wasn't Nari Setoku and Caeso Duria, but rather two nobodies who held no obligations or expectations between the two of them. Nothing was dictating whether or not they were allowed to take comfort from one another without any sort of strings or reasons. But the reality was that they weren't nobodies with no responsibilities. And Nari was blind to how Caeso looked at him. For all he knew, the captain was silently pleading for him to let go and get out of his space.

The thing was, Nari was far from touch deprived. He had Eiya constantly finding reasons to come into contact with him, whether it be the two of them cuddling on the couch or Eiya getting into his jealous fits and making it a point to stake his claim over the fox spirit. Mai wasn't as physical, but she had no problem with dragging Nari into hugs. But there was something about being this close to Caeso and not being able to see him that made all of that meaningless. It was almost like he was all alone and had never felt physical affection, which was a lie. He had the sudden and overwhelming urge to shift them both until he could pull Caeso in and lock him into an embrace; let the man snuggle into his chest while the two of them did absolutely nothing but sit there and soak in the comfort. Simply sit there and exist, maybe sneak in a suggestion to get some sleep to trick Caeso into doing that.

Even if he could muster up any sort of proposition, there wasn't time anyway. Eventually, Caeso moved out of the spirit's touch and stood, leaving Nari to catch himself and figure out what to do with his hands now that they weren't on the captain. Nari opened his mouth as Caeso left, then closed it. He was gone, anyway, and Nari had no clue what he would say even if he wasn't on his way to the stairs. Stay? One more minute? All that effort to get the man to take care of himself, it was stupid to even think about delaying him further or else he might change his mind. Caeso would use any excuse in the book to get out of taking care of himself right in that moment. The second Nari gave him an out, he'd take it. Too risky for a whim.

Caeso would find an open circular area downstairs, yet another place to lounge around, but it was smaller as it acted as the simple connection between the three rooms down there—a main bedroom, a guest bedroom, and bathroom. Though it was all underground, tree roots, rugs, and moss and ferns covered up all the dirt that would've otherwise been exposed. The rooms themselves were minimally decorated and clearly neutral, mindful of the many occupants that would take up shelter there. Only the main bedroom held any sort of personalization, and even that was kept small.

Sitting back on his haunches, Nari turned towards where Caeso had run off to, ears perked and twisting to listen to the man had gone downstairs to wash up. Then, when the captain was truly gone, he turned around to drop his blackened gaze down to his open hands in his lap. They felt empty, which was new and unpleasantly frustrating. The stubborn ass captain shouldn't be under Nari's skin like this, but damned if he hadn't been there since the beginning. With a heavy sigh through his nose, Nari looked away from his hands once more and instead grabbed at his forearms, rubbing like he could scrub away the lingering warmth of Caeso's cheek and skin. Stupid. Stupid. He shouldn't be floundering on what he should do with himself now that he was left alone and away from the captain who had, up until this very second, been infuriating. His wound throbbed, though, like a reminder, and Nari stood after a moment of silence to also head downstairs and into his room. A puzzle for another day, if at all.

Caeso descended the stairs one by one and tried not to go so fast as to trip and fall on his own feet. He'd grabbed his bag on the way down, easy enough to snatch from the ground when it had been lying next to him which meant a change into some fresh clothes. He was glad that they had gone to his chambers all things considered. They could have just gone with nothing, stopping in a village nearby and found something instead of going through the palace. Fuck, they could have taken the child with them and dropped her off there, too. But at least he had his own clothes, which was more of a comfort than he would admit. Familiar.

Because where they were going would be unmarked territory. No one, well, barely anyone went into The Under. Of course, there were those that worked for Ezekt, those that worshipped him and lived down there for some fucked up reason, but they were all there because they wanted to be. Caeso and Nari were going because they needed to be and they weren't going to enjoy their time down there, either. At least Caeso wasn't, and Nari would have to be some kind of fucked up to like it in that hell hole and for once he was choosing to look for something positive in the man. That was becoming easier the more and more he thought about the spirit and he couldn't decide whether he liked that or not.

Down the stairs and into the wash room the captain shut the door behind him as soon as he stepped foot in the small space. The moment he did, he dropped the bag to the floor and leaned against the door, slowly sinking down until he was sitting and he could hold his face in his hands. Gods, he was so tired. And he couldn't get Nari out of his damned head. Couldn't stop thinking about how nice it was to have the man holding him, touching him, offering comfort when he didn't need to. Whatever wall he had tried to put up to hold himself from breaking down and accepting help was slowly cracking with every second that he spent with Nari being sweet with him. Insisting on him taking care of himself, eating and washing and resting and to stop neglecting his needs in favour of others.

But that was what Caeso was good at. It was what he was designed to do. Put everyone first. Always and forever put everyone before himself. First, it had been his family, his mother and younger siblings, trying to be the perfect role model and work hard, train hard, for them. Then it had been the other soldiers in his battalion, and then his prince and his king and all his men. Never him. Not ever. He couldn't allow himself to be selfish like that. It was why it felt wrong to be stopping and caring for himself when the world was burning around him and he had so many important things to do. He wasn't important in all this. Whether he lived or died was irrelevant, it was making sure that others were safe, first.

Standing, the captain moved, rummaging through his bag until he found a clean shirt and pants. He stripped down until he was standing naked and looking at just how tired he was in the small mirror in the bathroom. Caeso was quick to wash and clean up, not wanting to spend too much time on himself, no more than was necessary, until he was wearing a pair of black, flowing pants that hugged his hips and a soft white shirt. The dirt and grime was gone when he was finished and he would admit it felt good to be clean again.

Nari was slower as he descended the stairs, not quite as in a rush to get away as Caeso had been. The spirit didn't know how to take that—Caeso speeding down the steps loud enough that Nari could hear it clearly. Was he that pushy and demanding that Caeso felt the need to run away? Nari stopped in the middle of the staircase to lean against the wall and think. Had he ultimately trapped the captain, suffocated him into submission? The thought was sour on his mood. As much as a blush could convey without words, there was a difference between enjoying something and mentally suffering while the body reacts. The only thing that consoled him enough to not go into a spiral was that he had given Caeso an out, and it took a minute for him to pull away. The was the only thing that Nari could be partially sure of. Everything else was moot when he couldn't see half of the cues.

The spirit curled his lip in a silent and frustrated snarl, annoyed with himself at getting so caught up in the captain and his own internal doubts. He just didn't want to be an asshole; agonizing over a man going downstairs quickly was pushing it too far and getting a bit ridiculous. Everything was ridiculous. Caeso was under his skin and it wasn't how things were supposed to be. As Nari went down the rest of the stairs and went into his bedroom before he found himself staring at the closed bathroom door, he quietly berated himself for letting down enough of his guards that he had been caught flustered at Caeso's hand. The last person that should've been able to do something like that to him.

Years of Eiya's playful advances, and this is what got his mind spinning? No. Nari stripped off his shirt, then pants, and hissed when the stretch pulled at his wound and threatened to rip it open again. Caeso wasn't going to be the person to throw him off, especially at this time. Nari needed to keep his head and focus on the fact that he was very likely to die if they didn't imprison Ezket for good, if not during their mission. Who knows, maybe he'd come back again, and this time remember his past life. Did spirits even get reincarnated again, or was it only once? He didn't know. Maybe he'd get a free pass given the circumstances.

He had forgotten to close the door behind him. Nari rubbed at his face and grabbed a random pair of pants, which ended up being a pair that hung loose and low on his hips. Better for him, when he felt the full damage that the demon had done to him. The one thing about getting wounded in fox form was that every blow translated to his human-esque body in some way. Which meant that something thought to be small would actually turn into a big problem after shifting—almost like this. The demon had clipped him with a nail after batting at him, which had gouged into his side. Nari ran his fingers over his side and felt for the edges of the wound. From the feels of it, the worst part was directly on his side, while the ends reached over his ribs and nearly to his hipbone but were less severe.

Nari went to the kit he kept for situations like this and pulled out a cloth. Right next to the kit was a bucket of water for this exact situation, so he dunked the cloth, wrung it out, and got to work cleaning out the wound and the dried blood around it. He periodically felt around to find any patches that needed more cleaning, and by the time he was done, the wound had in fact tore back open and started seeping out blood. He cursed and pressed the cloth against his side, then felt around the kit for a needle and thread. This would suck working blind, but he would make do just like any other time—he's done it before. Then he positioned himself next to a small table to set the cloth down and start feeling around for the best place to start. The cloth stayed close just in case the bleeding got too much to navigate around.

His mind was still spinning by the time Caeso was fully cleaned up. No more dirt or blood under his nails. No more grime on his face, behind his ears. No more demon smell or blood or goo on him. No more stench of death. A walking skeleton. That was what he had heard himself be called after the death of his prince, and he had no doubt that was precisely what he would have been called again had any of his men been present. The captain's usually bright, shimmering green eyes were nothing but distant and far away. Those dark circles only seemed to have deepened, sunk further into his sink that they were starting to look bruised. A split lip added to the look along with the fact that his eyes were also red-rimmed as if he were on the verge of crying, but not entirely false.

It was like losing his prince all over again, only this time it was worse somehow. Losing your best friend and almost lover was horrible, but losing men he had considered family? Men who he had known since he was a child. Men he had grown up with, seen fall in love, become heartbroken, tried and failed on thousands of endeavours and been there with him throughout it all. Losing them was as if he was losing himself. Caeso didn't know how he could function on anything but auto. His mind wouldn't stop but he wasn't quite there. He didn't think he ever would be again. How could someone be after seeing and hearing so many loved ones die?

Recovering was out of the books at this point. It was why he was determined to get shit done and fix it all so he could hide away for the rest of his stupid life. Maybe there he wouldn't get people hurt. Maybe there he could do some good - by staying away he wouldn't get close to people and then their deaths wouldn't hurt as much, if he had no one, he could hurt no one, intentionally or otherwise. If Caeso lived, that was the plan after it all. Nari and him would go separate ways and they would never think or see each other again and Caeso? He'd find some old cottage and stay there for however long he could survive. No one had to be hurt. He couldn't lose another person, especially if it was his fault.

Your fault. Your fault. It's all. your. fault. It was the only thought really going through his mind. That and other variations of it. Ezekt freeing himself, of course, wasn't, but the deaths were. He should have stopped them. Should have saved them. Should have done something instead of nothing and now he was stuck with the fallout of his actions and had to live with that for the rest of his days.

Shaking his head to himself, Caeso grabbed his bag and opened the bathroom door, heading into the small space and dumping his stuff in the middle of the nest of blankets and pillows. Moving his stuff into the guest room meant acknowledging he was sleeping and that was not what he was doing. He just didn't want to leave it upstairs where Eiya could get to it or in the bathroom. But as he moved he noticed Nari's door open, noticed the spirit shirtless and about to attempt to patch himself up. For fucks sake. Because putting a needle to skin to try and clean and stitch a wound blind was a brilliant idea. As much as Caeso wasn't all there, he wasn't about to leave Nari alone for something like that. He moved, slowly, and knocked on the door softly, "I don't think it's wise to do that blind."

It had already been a long day, and having time to yourself never really benefitted when you had things like death and the total destruction of your home on your mind. It was reasonable to expect the distraught captain to take some time to himself after washing up, because anyone with any semblance of empathy would do so. The silence ringing from the bathroom after the water shut off wasn't concerning enough to alert the spirit of anything bad. After a minute or so, Nari vaguely heard Caeso exiting the bathroom, presumably done with what he had been tasked with, but didn't think much of it. He'd meet the man upstairs after dealing with his own process of patching up himself and changing, then use whatever Eiya brought to make them dinner. That's what he had expected, at least. Caeso stopping at his room wasn't part of his expectations.

Nari lifted his head and looked to Caeso's direction, startled. His focus was off, evident by his gaze leaning too far to the left to be convincingly on Caeso. All of it was funneled into his hands, the deft fingers tracing over the sore wound to act as his eyes. He already had the thread started, and with barely a flinch, looped the needle through to begin closing it off at the end closing in on his hip. Done with that, Nari pulled the thread and turned away from Caeso. "Done it before," he said. And he had. The spirit couldn't count how many times he had come home and needed to sew himself back together after a nasty encounter. Luckily, as a being so closely intertwined with death already, he healed decently well—though remnants of scars still littered his skin if one looked for them.

Admittedly, going after Ezekt, this entire mission, would be the worst thing he'd put himself through. All the other times, it had just been a casualty of the job. An expected hindrance. Nothing bad enough to be life-threatening, but enough that he got in his practice without ever going out of his way to do so. But this time, Ezket would be at the end of his sights. A foe a lot bigger, a lot meaner, and a lot more powerful than him. A foe that already wasn't happy with him. Nari had Caeso on his side for now, but that didn't mean it would help him any in the long run. They could succeed, Ezekt would be locked away and everyone would be safe, and only Caeso would make it back home. Nari's chances of surviving this were slim, and he accepted that.

It didn't make the knowledge any easier, though. He'd be leaving his only family behind with a flimsy promise that he'd be okay. Die at the hands of the being he once spat at and swore to never see again. The irony of it all was laughable, but he had to do it. Either he died trying to keep the God of Death at bay, or he died being a coward hoping to hide from the wrath he had brought down upon himself. At least the former offered the slimmest chance at coming out of it all alive and safe for good.

Nari's head twitched, and he brought himself back into the present with hardly more than a blink. Ever so slightly, his eyes shifted back into focus. This first, existential crisis over dying later. There wasn't any point in dwelling over a death that wasn't guaranteed when he hasn't even left his house yet to get to The Under, let alone face his former employer. Nari snagged the cloth with a free hand and dabbed at the wound, silently willing it to clot again. Stitching while bleeding was messy and cumbersome. The spirit's ears flicked. Caeso was still there, watching him. The man's presence was obnoxiously there that it was hard to ignore it now that Nari knew he was there.

Caeso nearly cringed when he watched Nari thread the needle through his skin, not because of the act of stitching someone up but because he was doing it blindly and the captain could already tell that it wasn't going to end well. He knew that he shouldn't really go in there and help. Nari was able to handle it himself because he was grown and had, like he said, done this before, but he wasn't about to stand to the side and watch the man butcher a patch job when he was able to see and could make sure that it was cleaned, stitched and on the road to healing properly.

He sighed to himself and before he could change his mind he was going to do, Caeso was walking into the room. With the small personal touches, it was a cute place. The whole of Nari's home was, from the extravagance of the outer tree to how it was decorated inside. Homely, even if he didn't know how long the spirit had made this his home for. Caeso's room back in his mother's place had had little decoration considering they hadn't been able to afford much but the bare necessities, and then his chambers at the palace were along similar lines. It had felt odd to decorate a space when he had nothing to truly decorate it with. Beyond the small personal items and trinkets collected over the years it had felt more of a workspace, especially in the most recent years. It didn't help that the captain had taken down everything that had been gifted to him from his prince after he had died, too ashamed and unable to look at them.

The captain walked up to Nari and he didn't wait to ask for any confirmation if he was allowed to help, he was taking Nari's hands in his own. Caeso's warmth seeped into the coldness of the spirit's hands but each touch was gentle and soft, as he if was still unsure if he was allowed to touch Nari at all let alone patch him up. He took the needle from his hands, and then the rag before wordlessly guiding Nari so he had his back to the table that the healing kit was sat on. Sitting wasn't going to do any good. It would force the wound it an uncomfortable position, especially when stitching it up. His own hands guided Nari's back till they were braced against the table, giving him something to hold onto.

And then Caeso was kneeling, shifting so he was between Nari's legs and practically eye level with the wound. Luckily it wasn't bleeding too much so he rested the cloth down to free up another hand, allowing him to rest it on the spirit's lower stomach to give himself something to hold to, and to keep him still, while Caeso worked, "You might have done it before but that doesn't mean you should have." He said, though his words were quiet and more to himself than anything.

Nari's ears sharply twisted towards Caeso the second he heard him step into his room, right before he lifted his head again to fruitlessly eye the incoming captain. Had he closed his door, this wouldn't be happening. Then again, he hadn't thought that Caeso would be nosy enough to poke his head in, let alone make the statement that Nari shouldn't be stitching himself blind before barging into the spirit's room. It threw Nari off, and every thought of getting caught up by Caeso being stupid and ridiculous went right out the window. He resisted the urge to back up and away from the man, some sort of instinct rising up in him at the rapidly closing distance. Caeso wasn't supposed to be in his room. Fuck. He was in his room advancing on him and he had no place to go.

No warning. No request for permission or anything. Was this how Caeso felt when Nari got into his space? Hands were on the spirit's, missing warmth invaded his skin, and then the needle and cloth were being taken away. Caeso didn't relent in his mission, and Nari was helpless to fight his touch. The gentleness and how he seemed hesitant even if stubborn captivated the spirit and held him hostage. A prisoner to his bewilderment and the softness in which he was being treated. He moved back until he bumped the edge of the table, all while his unseeing eyes stayed on Caeso like he was a puzzle that he couldn't fathom solving. And, surprisingly obedient, he let his hands be moved to the edge of the table. Nari had no idea what was going on, what the captain was thinking or intending to do, but he went along with every gentle direction and didn't fight back on anything. Caeso was in charge—for now.

Definitely in charge. Nari's grip turned white-knuckled on the edge of the table and he jerkily turned his head away, as if that would help him at all with how Caeso knelt between his legs. In an instant, his mind went haywire thinking of their current position, about how he was hardly wearing anything and what he did have on was about the loosest things he owned. The spirit's throat bobbed repeatedly as he swallowed back the nerves and every choked back comment that he didn't have the guts to say. Beneath Caeso's hand, his muscles tensed, and Nari shifted his weight ever so slightly. "I—" he started to say, then cleared his throat and tucked his chin a little. "Are you calling me incompetent? I'm not dead. Ish. If I was going to die like that, it would've happened."

Nothing was visible, nothing was happening, but he could feel Caeso's presence kneeling in front of him. The hand on his stomach, skin on skin, and the ghost of the other's breath skirting over his side. Everything was so simple, but Nari was hyperaware of every little thing happening. Thoughts were unwelcomed but they came to the front of his mind like rapid fire, and did nothing to help him stay calm and unaffected by Caeso on his knees. Eye level to his wound, sure maybe, but certainly far too close to other places that Nari would rather he be far away from in this position.

A part of him wanted to have his sight back. To see what was happening and to watch. Maybe it would be less horrible knowing what Caeso was doing and that he wasn't in any danger of anything. But he also knew that it would only make the images more vivid and realistic, a perfect rendering of this exact moment to pull from. Sightless, he was subject to his own thoughts and imagination based on what he could feel. And that was the danger in this. He could only feel what was actively happening to him. If Caeso made a surprise move or turn in direction, Nari wouldn't know until it was happening, and the anticipation of every touch was on the verge of killing him on the spot. It was all his fault. No sense in blaming Caeso when the man didn't have a clue as to what Nari's mind decided to focus on. But that didn't stop the spirit from silently cursing him for putting them into this position in the first place. He could've done it differently.

Caeso was a solider first a foremost and in instances like this that was the only thing his mind was focusing on. He was unaware of how Nari’s mind was going to less than innocent places because right now all he was thinking of was stitching the spirit up correctly. Either way he wouldn’t have thought someone would have turned to images and ideas that the spirit was thinking about when they were being actively stitched up. The man was bleeding, had been bleeding out for a while and the wound had reponed presumably with the removal of the man’s clothes as he had prepared to stitch himself up alone. Typical. It was why Caeso was so quietly insistent on fixing the wound himself. Who knew what was to happen if he let Nari go wild with a needle. It just reinforced the idea that he shouldn’t have been anywhere near one to begin with.

Fixing your own wounds was either a brilliant idea or a terrible idea. On one hand it meant practicing life skills and knowledge that would be useful in the battlefield. It meant knowing how to fix friends up when the situation was dire and definitely helped take the stress of the healers when there were others who were more than capable to fix up injuries practically. Caeso had been in that instance more times than he could count. Coming back from battle and finding the camps and tents overwhelmed, healers backed up and people suffering. Thank Gods that he had learned because they had been more than grateful for the extra helping hand.

But on the other hand having someone who wasn’t properly trained in the practice was a pretty shit idea from time to time. For example, like right now, when Nari had been intending on stitching the wound up. Caeso didn’t know what his other injuries had looked like when he had fixed them, but if he had been doing it blind he guessed that it probably wouldn’t have been good. Having to feel around for the edges of the wound and make guesses as to where the needle is going in an out, hoping you managed to stitch it up well enough to keep blood from seeping out? Disastrous.

It was why Caeso had no qualms with helping out, why he was too stubborn to stop now that he had started. The captain threaded the needle gently through the skin, making sure each loop of the thread was pulled secure and tight that Nari would be able to move without popping them and not too tight to cause discomfort, “I’m sure you’re more than competent when it comes to other situations. Stitching yourself up? Probably not.”

Caeso shifted so he was closer, almost wrapped around Nari’s leg so he could be as close as he could get to the wound and see what he was doing. His breathing would be clearly felt against the spirits skin, and the hand that was not holding the needle moved. It moved so it was wrapped further around Nari’s waist, as if tugging him closer as well as preventing him from moving away and causing a stitch where it wasn’t necessary. The captain didn’t pick up on how his fingers were close to the waist band of Nari’s pants, practically skirting under the hem in his attempt to keep him still.

Nari sucked in a steadying breath, even if that did absolutely nothing to calm his pounding pulse. Caeso had no idea what he was doing to him. If he did, then that meant he was a cruel, cool-headed man, because there was no way that he was doing this on purpose and not reacting in some way. Nari was gripping onto the table and keeping himself as turned away from the man as he could, regardless of his sight status, and his heart was picking up pace the more that he had Caeso breathing on him and touching his bare skin. Utterly unfair that he was stuck in this situation and had no means of changing it or avoiding it altogether. It wasn't even just the touch and proximity that was getting to him, it was the position and the instincts that rose up in a torrent.

Caeso was at the perfect level for Nari to just tilt his head a certain way and give a little bit of encouragement. Instead of leaning on the table, he could be holding onto Caeso for support while combing his fingers through the man's hair. Hell, Caeso could decide he wants to lean on Nari and just rest right there, and the spirit wouldn't have any qualms with that so long as he got to touch in return. A large part of that tight grip was to keep himself from doing something stupid, and to let the pitch of pain from the wood digging into his skin distract from any thoughts that crossed his mind. It didn't work, of course, but at least he stayed glued to the table and didn't do anything more stupid than let Caeso stitch him up in the first place.

He should've done it himself. He wasn't incompetent, he was just stubborn and used to doing it by himself with a little bit of improvised aid. Sure, some of his scars weren't as pretty as they could've been had he gotten the stitching right, but they still healed, and he hasn't bled out yet. Nari wasn't that dumb. "So you're calling me incompetent. You know that we wouldn't be in this situation if I had remembered to close the door, right?" And the captain wouldn't have found him dead on the floor from a stupid wound caused by a stupid demon. All that would happen is, Nari would have a decent patch job that did what it was supposed to do, then he would be going into the bathroom to finish cleaning up and change. None of this. None of the kneeling or hands on his exposed waist or breath on his skin.

And when Caeso only shifted closer, practically hugging Nari's leg, the spirit debated for a split second on if he should just shove him away and deal with it himself. Maybe if he was gentle, but firm with his words as he explained that he would rather he do it by himself, then he wouldn't wound Caeso too much. The thought of shoving the man off of him, though, felt awful. He didn't really want him away from him—quite the opposite—but he really wasn't making it any easier for Nari to keep a cool and empty mind. He nearly made a strangled noise when the hand holding him tugged him up and closer to Caeso, then slipped a little into the band of his pants; which were the only articles of clothing he had on, which weren't the most modest of things either. Only meant for a quick change between tasks, then swapped out for something comfortable but sturdy.

Somehow, he didn't move. The most that happened was the occasional shift of muscle beneath Caeso's hand from Nari tensing up and moving the slightest bit from the sharp pains of the needle threading through his skin. Nari was too scared to move. If he did, then he might do something really stupid, and he'd end up on Caeso's shit list until the end of eternity. And, no matter how much he told himself that he didn't care in the slightest, he would rather he stay off that list so that he could keep in contact with the grumpy man who was holding him so gently and being so firm with his care. But, his lack of movement was wreaking havoc on his mind as he continued to imagine things, things that only got worse with each change in Caeso's touch and how much closer he got to him. Willpower was the only thing keeping him from reaching down to cup the back of the captains head and encourage him to rest his forehead against the spirit's hip, like a minimal one-handed hug. If he did that, not only would he be stabbed brutally with the needle, but he'd lose the only ally he had in this mission.

Caeso's gaze flicked upwards for the briefest moment before they came back down to the wound once more. He wasn't going to argue, at least, not that much or too greatly that it could cause a rift. But he wasn't going to relent in his care anytime soon. No, he was fixing the wound and if Nari wanted him to go away he could have to kick him out the door and slam it behind him. Since the man was staying still, however, and for some reason or another was doing his best to look anywhere but him, Caeso knew that wasn't going to happen. Good. The less fighting about care the better.

It was a bit hypocritical of him to think such a thing when he had been adamant about moving on fast and not staying long. Caeso was shit at self-care. He wasn't shit at taking care of others. It was his whole job. One way or another, whether that was helping with injuries after a battle, guarding and watching the royal family to make sure nothing went wrong and they didn't end up dead, or consoling someone after a loss, he could do all those things. Well, all of them but the second on that list. As he worked the needle through the skin he did his best to keep his attention on the task at hand rather than wandering to other places he didn't need it to go.

That was proving harder than expected. Caeso had thought, he had hoped, that focusing on Nari and the wound under his fingers would have allowed for him to stop thinking about everything he had done wrong so far in his life. The attack had only increased the amount of guilt he felt when it came to the responsibility he held, his title as Captain of the King's Guard. A title that he didn't believe he deserved anymore. First it had been his prince. The man he had sworn himself to in more ways than one and had ultimately failed to protect him. Now it was the entire city, his entire home. People he had spent his life growing up around and men he had served in battle with, men who had always come out victorious, men who had looked to him for help and guidance and Caeso had offered it up without needing to be asked twice. But not anymore. Now they were gone, it was all gone and how any of it would be able to come back he was unsure.

So he was more than oblivious to Nari's internal struggle. Didn't pay any attention to how the spirit gripped the table so harshly and kept his gaze- even if blind- turned away from the captain kneeling between his legs. Caeso was too wrapped up in his own head and the guilt that threatened to devour him whole to think about anything but that, but helping at least one person. It may not have been much, but by mending Nari's wound, at least he had done something right today. He wouldn't say it, but he was thankful Nari hadn't pushed him away. If he couldn't even help his new companion, how was he to help thousands?

He couldn't, would be the answer to that question, "Either you're incompetent and dumb enough to leave the door open for me to see in or you wanted me to help," He replied, though the words weren't exactly registering, "Pick whichever option fits best." He left it at that, especially as his work fixing the wound was coming to an end. A stitch, and then another, and one more and Caeso was finishing it up and tying the end of the thread. A perfect, clean line from where the wound began and ended, no blood left on the skin and nothing but the small bits of thread poking out of the spirit's skin to indicate that there had been any wound to begin with. Practically perfect. He placed the needle and thread down and moved his hands, gliding them around Nari's stomach so they were together before they were tugging the hem of Nari's pants down. Not but a lot, only dropping the pants an inch or so down on the one side, but a little in order to see if there was anything he had missed.

Nari breathed in to keep his heart rate as steady as it could be, but that wasn't working much. There was the muted registering of pain in his side from Caeso sewing his wound shut, more quickly and efficiently than the spirit should've done it had he been on his own, but the most he focused on was the warmth of the other's touch and presence that steadily made its way under his skin, once again warming the cold he always carried around. Right where Caeso held his stomach and waist was practically burning him from how hyperaware he was of the gentle touch.

Before he could help it or even try to control it, there was a flood of thoughts that poured through the shitty dam he had built up in the back of his mind. Scenarios. Ones that he could almost feel thanks to the man in front of him. Nari laying in his bed, his eyes bright with sight and mirth. Caeso laying next to him with sneaky hands sliding under his shirt to curve around his sides. The brush of his nose over Nari's stomach as he looked up at the spirit to make sure he was doing good, that what he was doing was okay and accepted. The captain between his legs indulging himself while Nari watched and encouraged. Letting loose. The two of them were far from friends or even companions, but that didn't mean Nari couldn't fantasize about things when Caeso was holding him and touching him while on his knees. The situation didn't matter to him. Being stabbed with a needle over and over again was at the very back of his mind when he had something more appealing to think about and let his body focus on.

Of course, that was also a bad idea because Caeso was far too close to him for that. Bodily reaction to being touched in a way that was less than friendly—that's all that this was. It didn't mean anything between them. It didn't mean that Nari liked him or anything. But that reaction needed to stay mental and nothing else. Especially… Especially when he started to sense that something was off with Caeso. He wasn't as argumentive as he should've been, even if he was still being pushy about Nari needing his help.

His muscles jumped and Nari resisted the urge to squirm when Caeso slid his hands around his stomach, then did the last thing he should be doing. The spirit ducked his head and tried to stay still, stay in control, but he ended up slowly letting go of the table with one hand and, ever so gently, buried his fingers into Caeso's hair. He needed something else to distract him from everything the man was doing. But, it was also a subtle way to comfort when he picked up on more askew feelings surrounding the captain. He was in his own head again, just like when they had been in his chambers. "… I'll take the help," Nari mumbled, fingers twisting as he idly played with Caeso's hair to self-soothe and comfort.

It helped some to keep his mind out of the gutter, but it only pulled up out by a little bit. He was still submerged, and it wouldn't go away until he had Caeso far out of his space and not in a position that had so much potential had they been two very different people in a very different time. Flirting was not going to happen in a time like this. It wasn't. But his mind and imagination didn't care, only about the hands sliding over his skin and the breaths that sent chills down his spine with every exhale. The hand still on the table tightened once more and Nari's ears flattened, but he stayed still beyond the hand in Caeso's hair. He wouldn't do anything, no matter how much he screamed at himself in silence.

For the briefest moment, Caeso's hands stilled when he felt Nari's own in his hair. But just as quickly as he had stilled he was moving again, shifting with the newfound touch that the spirit had graced him with and was moving with it, just a little. It was exactly encouragement, but it was enough to say that that was fine. If anything he needed it to stay grounded in the moment because while Nari's mind went to less than innocent places, his was staying firmly stuck in the horrible events that had occurred that day, along with the previous mistakes made in his lifetime.

When he was certain that there were no more injuries that he needed to stitch up for the spirit he tugged Nari's pants back up to where they had been sitting before, maybe a little higher. No more injuries, no more blood, nothing to worry about anymore. If they were lucky they wouldn't find themselves in any situations that required them to move in such a way that would end up with them ripping, but Caeso didn't think that was going to be entirely possible. They were going to The Under after all. There were going to be more demons, harder and tougher enemies than he had ever fought before, at least, and he had no doubt that a gouge in one of their sides was going to be the least of their worries when they ended up there. For now, he would feel better in the fact that they were both clean and fixed up. Ready to go. Ready to move.

Caeso finally stood up from where he had been knelt, knees a little sore but it would soon fade. He'd dealt with worse and at least Nari would be okay now. Why he was so worried about the spirit he would never know. They were nothing but companions with the same goal in mind who were going to be working together for a while. Nothing else. But he couldn't stop himself from worrying. Maybe because if anything happened to the man it would just be something else to add to his growing list of deaths falling on his shoulders. If he were to voice these worries he was more than aware Nari would insist it wouldn't be his fault, but it would be. It would be because Caeso could have protested when Nari said he was going to be tagging along with him. He could have protested when he stayed by his side. He could have left him at the castle. Could have turned away from that tunnel and headed in a different direction.

Could have. But he didn't. Instead, he had stayed and now it was going to be on him if the spirit died. Again. Or whatever it was that spirits did when they ended up close to dead once more. Was that even possible? Whatever, it didn't matter. He didn't respond to Nari's words stating that he would take the help. It was just something else that didn't matter now that he had finished with his job. The captain moved, and as he did Nari's hand that was on his head shifted, too, as he placed the needle and thread down on the table.

He stayed silent when he began to turn away. No snarky comment on how Nari was welcome for the help. How at least now he wasn't going to die again because Caeso had fixed him up correctly. Nothing. Not even a word about how he was going to head upstairs.

Nari's hand and fingers moved rhythmically as they automatically found a steady motion to repeat. The more he did it, the more he calmed some as he forced himself to hone his attention on that rather than… everything else. It was made easier when he started really picking up on Caeso's souring mood, and the growing concern for the captain surpassed the thoughts that he was desperate to leave far away in the gutter and away from the forefront of his mind. It wasn't the time or place to be thinking like that. It never would be the time or place for any of that moving on. It was better to just acknowledge that Caeso was hot, let it simmer a little, then let it go so that it was never seen again at inopportune times. Like now.

When Caeso stood, Nari removed his hand a bit reluctantly, but there wasn't any possible excuse that he could come up with to keep touching him. The wound was stitched and they were done. The spirit ran his fingers over the closed up gash, feeling the slight bump of his skin being forced closed and the unnatural coarseness of the stitches. Definitely a better and cleaner job than he would've done on his own, but he had already voiced his opinion on the matter, and Caeso didn't seem to be in the talking mood. The captain hasn't said a word in a while, and even then he sounded off. Quieter, less argumentative or bitchy. Nari knew that he had managed to knock Caeso off balance and get him to quiet some by being in his face and holding his face, but this wasn't the same.

He didn't know what to do or even what to think. Caeso wasn't the fondest of him, and it really wasn't his business, but Nari still cared about his well-being. If something was wrong, the man needed someone to lean on at the very least, even if he couldn't get the full comfort and understanding that a friend or family member would be able to provide. The spirit wasn't either one of those, but he could be a simple shoulder and listening ears. He had both, probably a better pair of ears than most people did. And even if Caeso didn't want to talk about what was on his mind, Nari could still provide comfort and support. For once, he wasn't coming up with an excuse or reason as to why he would do something like that. No one was here to question it besides the captain, and if he questioned Nari, then he'd get the simple truth—he needed it. No one could shoulder everything on their own without breaking, and Caeso was already so close to shattering. Nari didn't need to see to know that.

So when Caeso started to turn away, to leave the room, Nari moved on instinct before he had time to really know what his plan was. He snagged the man's shirt with his hasty flail, then found his shoulder to touch and gently keep him from leaving. The spirit then came up behind Caeso and finally let his unseeing gaze settle on him. "Hey," he whispered, touch moving to brush two knuckles over the captain's cheek, "You okay?"