forum Boys will be boys (CLOSED MxM ROLEPLAY)(Stalkers welcomed and appreciated <3)

Started March 16, 2020 by @Fraust

tune

"Uh… I… I dunno?" Rowan glanced around nervously, fidgeting a bit. "I-I dunno, I… I don't really smell anything…"

“That’s okay, this one and the last one are the most difficult. Is there anything you can taste? You don’t need to answer this if you can’t taste anything.” Damien reassured him, stroking his hair and looking over at Milo. He wasn’t sure if this was actually calming Rowan down, but it seemed like it was.

"Um… s-salt, I guess? My mouth tastes salty because of the crying and stuff…" Rowan lay his head on Damien's shoulder, his breathing still shaky, but a little more controlled than before.

“There you go. I always have trouble with that one.” Damien continued, feeling like he was helping fairly well. “Deep breath, man.”

Rowan nodded, starting up the breathing exercises now that he was able to. He wasn't really in any mood to chat, but he did seem to be doing a bit better.

Damien reached over to pet Milo while Rowan tried to breathe. He didn’t really know what else to say- he didn’t want to accidentally set Rowan off again, not after all of this.

After a little bit, Rowan reached out one trembling hand to pet Milo as well. Milo whined softly and shuffled closer, wanting to comfort Rowan.

“Are you feeling a little better?” Damien lightly reached out to put a hand on the cap of Rowan’s shoulder.

"A little bit, yeah… I… I-I'm sorry about that, Damien… I think my mind is in a really bad place right now…"

“I get it.” Damien moved his hands away. “I really do. But I’m not a professional who can give you real help, y’know? I can listen, though.”

Rowan nodded. "You seem to have dealt with this shit before, though… so at the very least, you can help me calm down, I guess…"

“Yeah.. it’s all stuff I learned from my therapist.” Damien picked at his knuckles. “I mean- I can try to help, sure.”

"Mhmm… I really have some problems, don't I?" Rowan looked up at Damien and laughed weakly.

“I’m gonna be honest- yeah. Nothin’ that can’t be dealt with, but some problems.” Damien nodded, gently wrapping his arms back around Rowan.

Rowan sighed and huddled up in Damien's arms. "I can't fuckin do this, man… I can't. I'm too fuckin stupid and weak."

“No you’re not.” He held him slightly closer to his chest. “No, no, no… Ro, you’re not weak and you’re not stupid. Trust me. I’ve known you forever, okay?”

"You might not think so but I'm feeling really fuckin stupid right now, lemme tell you…" Rowan sighed shakily.

“Yeah? It’s a feeling. Those change. Your brain is kinda on the fritz right now, I feel the same way when I’m comin’ down from that stuff.”

Rowan looked up at Damien weakly. "But I always feel stupid. In fairness, I'm usually doing something stupid, but still…"

“Doin’ something dumb and being dumb are two different things. You’re allowed to dumb shit, man, we’re still so fucking young.” Damien tried to soothe him, but he wasn’t sure how well it was working.

Rowan fidgeted nervously with his hands. "Damien, I… when I think about myself or I see myself in a mirror, I just… I hate it. I hate me. N-Not necessarily how I look most of the time, just… me."

Damien was caught off guard by this, for sure. You could see it in the way his facial expression morphed into something indecipherable. “I.. fuck. I’m sorry- that’s a shitty thing to go through.”

"I-I just don't know why this is happening to me, Damien… my life isn't all that bad, is it? I shouldn't be thinking like this… I'm just broken and stupid and I'm being a burden on you again."

“Not gonna lie, man, your home life kinda sucks in my opinion. But you’re not being a burden or any of that, okay? I don’t mind being here. Really. I don’t.”

"Why does my home life suck?" Rowan asked, confused. "I mean… I'm not getting abused or anything, and I've got access to food and water and shelter and stuff."
(Rowan: wdym my home life is bad?
Also Rowan: has severe separation anxiety to the point that he can't be left alone for more than a couple hours and is left alone by his parents 99% of the time)