Recently, I got a real nasty beta reading reply on my book. Just outta curiosity, how do you all deal with criticism on your writing, so you won't go into a hole of despair, and hate on your own writing? Has anyone else also received any criticism (or even good helpful feedback) that kinda stung?
I mean, I'm terrible with social interactions and whatnot, but let me try to help anyways
Criticism is usually someone else's thoughts about your piece of art. (Writing is a form of art.) Criticism can help you grow as an artist. It may sting, but they're just being brutally honest in what their honest thoughts are. Just tell yourself it's just an opinion, and you can always get a second opinion, but I suggest taking that critique in mind, but take it personally.
Idk I'm bad with people
As someone who gives a lot of critiques this is my biggest fear tbh - I give feedback because I want people to improve and because I see potential in their work, but I'm also easily frustrated when things don't make sense or when I feel like something could be presented better. If things I say sting, I want them to sting for the right reasons if that makes sense - I never want to attack the author or make them feel awful, I just want to give my honest opinion on their work, like @izzyandviolins said.
Honestly that's probably the best advice I can give - try to put a bit of separation between yourself and your work (one of the most difficult things ever. I know my writing is one of the things that's incredibly personal to me). If your beta is criticising what you wrote, it doesn't mean that they think you're a bad person, or a bad writer, or that they think your book overall is bad. It just means that in this specific case, this specific chapter or section or whatever, they can see ways to make your writing better. Hopefully they also include reasons why they find it ineffective, because then you have a point of reference on how to improve. (Hopefully your beta is someone you trust and whose opinion you value because that gives weight to their critique.)
But if your beta is criticising you as a person or as a writer or implying that you can't write well then that's not okay on their part.
You mean to tell me it isn't healthy to lie in the mud face-down and cry?
Well yes, that's you telling yourself that the critiquer is absolutely correct, that you're not a good __ (insert a whatever word fits). And no, the critiquer is not necessarily absolutely correct, they're just sharing their opinions. But like @ninja_violinist, if they are criticizing you as a person, writer, or implying that you can't write well, tell yourself, "I'm awesome, and I can write great stuff," because that's not okay on their part. Their job was to share their opinions on the writing, not on you.
Well yes, that's you telling yourself that the critiquer is absolutely correct, that you're not a good __ (insert a whatever word fits). And no, the critiquer is not necessarily absolutely correct, they're just sharing their opinions. But like @ninja_violinist, if they are criticizing you as a person, writer, or implying that you can't write well, tell yourself, "I'm awesome, and I can write great stuff," because that's not okay on their part. Their job was to share their opinions on the writing, not on you.
This was supposed to be more of a joke, referencing that one author (poet? musician?) who did that a few times. This is genuinely good advice, though, thank you!
Ooooh I see, but you're welcome!
You mean to tell me it isn't healthy to lie in the mud face-down and cry?
there's no need to call Hans Christian Andersen out like this
GAaaaaah seriously people. Cool cool, heart warming but seriously? Order papers for college? That's asking people to cheat on their grades, and in my opinion that's not okay. If one wants to be good at writing in general, they need to understand how to write in different formats, like essays, ect. so they can get more practice. I don't care how that influenced your life, I don't want to see ads like this anymore. They annoy the heck out of me, and they probably annoy others as well.