forum Can someone help with my dialogue?

Started March 22, 2020 by Deleted user

tune

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Pick one.

Dialogue then

What are the personalities of your characters, for starters.

Ok so about andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) he's a good and funny kid but he doesn't have any friends exept Nia (ILL tell you about her later) and Kage. Kage isn't that friend that's like all nice and friendly. He plays around with andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) and he always annoys Nia. He the friend that's annoying but needed. andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) hates the rac3 of Shadows and demons (even though Kage is from a shadow family)

…..okay. Give me a sample you have of dialogue.

Ok

This will be when he meets Nia.

" Oh. Hello.. What's your name..?" He`d say in an undertone.

First off, you broke tense.
"Oh. Hello. What's your name?" he said in an undertone. OR "Oh. Hello. What's your name?" he says in an undertone. would work, but not "he'd say".

Ok thats good

If you want I can critique andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer), Nia, and Kage. I have a thread to do so over in Characters.

I'm sorry it's just that im not used to making a book :P

Ok

But I don't have Nia or Kage in my characters I'm making them soon

I was working on them

That's andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer)'s page but I'm going to edit it

I've got an idea. What if I start on the dialogue and every time you continue? Is that a good idea? Also if i make a mistake you could tell me!

Like this.

Me:
You:
Me:
You:

Listen, I'm sorry but I can't write your dialogue for you. I can give you pointers, but I cannot and will not do that. I have my own stories and characters to write for, and I can't just do your dialogue for you. Post andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) in my critique thread and I'll critique him there.

No worrys! And i should find it there?

Yep.

How do i do it?

Post it here: https://www.notebook.ai/forum/characters-board/i-ll-critique-your-characters-for-you/page-5

Im not understanding. I've looked evry where. Maby you can send a screan shot or somthing?