forum Your personal unrelated chatting space

Started November 09, 2019 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

yeah, questioning yourself is okay. I've been questioning myself for years and still am to this day.

i think i-
eek

You…?

ummm, yeah, don’t know if i can answer that

Okay…?

You know what? I'm about doing one of two things. 1) Staying completely silent on Notebook or 2) Leaving Notebook completely.

why…?

Because, for some reason, someone always has something bad to say about something I post, and I don't want to deal with that. I've decided that I am just better of remaining silent or full-on leaving. I wouldn't want anyone to have to suffer my existence because they are purely annoyed by me.

Nie, no one is suffering. In fact, I would suffer more if you left.
I think you're overthinking this because you're actually a great part of this community, super helpful, and just an overall great guy.

…but we aren't annoyed by you?
you're a really great bean and i like having you here…
if you don't feel comfortable that's okay, i understand…
but please don't think you aren't wanted here
because i promise you
you are

I'm not so sure about that.

Why not? What makes you unsure that you're a great bean?
Because Ella never lies about people being great beans.

I really don't
if someone's a terrible heccing bean i'll say it to their face
i have no reason to lie about such things

_{yells at myself in mirror}

I just don't think that I should speak anymore. It will only serve to annoy someone.

Nope. Not true at all. I refuse to believe it.
Nie, when people tell you on here that you're awesome and we love you, we mean it.
You'd have to turn into a real jerkface real fast to make us not like you, and you're not a jerkface at all. You're not annoying, and if you don't not feel comfortable speaking than it's us who have failed.

I suppose you could call it uncomfortableness. I just don't want to have to deal with someone here who I think has a kind of bad attitude. My emotions aren't stable enough for it.

Ha.

I get that…

Same. Too much.

I suppose you could call it uncomfortableness. I just don't want to have to deal with someone here who I think has a kind of bad attitude. My emotions aren't stable enough for it.

Well just know that I don't think any of those things about you, and I'm always here if you don't feel comfortable speaking up on the public chats. I realize I can't force you to do anything and it's really your choice, but I'd love it if you stayed.

I suppose you could call it uncomfortableness. I just don't want to have to deal with someone here who I think has a kind of bad attitude. My emotions aren't stable enough for it.

Well just know that I don't think any of those things about you, and I'm always here if you don't feel comfortable speaking up on the public chats. I realize I can't force you to do anything and it's really your choice, but I'd love it if you stayed.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

help
someone
i’m so scared…

i would go to the venting space with this but with the current conversations, i don’t feel safe there
i don’t feel safe anywhere
everywhere I go
i just feel like i’m being watched-

_please

_anyone

_{help me}

it’s so alone and dark in here
i can’t breathe
I can’t see
i think i’ve made myself sick with all the panicking
my head hurts
i can’t sleep
i don’t know what to do-

i just want to vanish completely
stop existing forever and ever
i don’t want to wake up tomorrow, i don’t want to do this again
please-

Whoa there, Ella. Call down.

I'm right here, there is no need to panic.

There is no need to vanish or anything like that, mmkay?