i don't have discord

_{Oh gosh it’s happening again}

I LOVE EXISTENCE
EVERYTHING IS JOY
THIS WORLD IS SO BEAUTIFUL
Everywhere I look there are so many beautiful things to be happy about, how could I be so blind to it that I would even think of trying to leave?
this world is so incredible and beautiful and the people here are so amazing I-
I don’t get it? Just because I’m not perfect doesn’t mean I deserve to die, why would I even think otherwise??? Life is so beautiful, there’s so much to live for and I’ve just ignored it for so long

Well I’m not ignoring it right now and I’m just going to say that I love you all
I’m so happy you all exist and I’m so happy I exist because I wouldn’t meet such wonderful beans if I didn’t exist and I don’t know why I wouldn’t want to exist and,,,- - -!!!
_{I’m having one of those moments, just ignore me-}

…aaaaand the socialization high is over
I feel worse than ever
Please someone shoot me

_{Ella, have you heard of Bipolar Disorder?}

_yeah…

_…

My therapist told me that you can't get a bipolar diagnosis until you're 18. It could be mood swings though, I deal with those and it's a lot like that.

I only have 990 words left of Nanowrimo until I'm completely done… Like, as in, reached 50,000 words.

490 but most of what I have is not only terrible, but not even the story

I DID IT I'M DONE I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I WON NANOWRIMO

YAY
BUY A T SHIRT

I HONESTLY WANT TO

Congrats @Blurry-Won-Nanowrimo! That's awesome!

Also, guess who just booked a trip to Cambodia this February? I DID
I'm so excited! Cambodia has been on my bucket list for a while now :D

Oh, thank you!!!
And CONGRATULATIONS

I HAVE PUT RAINBOW CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AROUND MY EDGAR ALLEN POE BOARD AND IT IS AMAZING

THAT REMINDS ME!! I NOW HAVE EVEN MORE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS THAT I CAN PUT UP WHEN I GET HOME

EDGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EDGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELL YEAH!!! WE STAN A SPOOKY BOY!

I GET TO HAVE A COOKIE DECORATING PARTY THIS SATURDAY WITH MY FRIENDS AND MY BOYFRIEND YAAAAAAAAAY!

so some of you might not know that i'm in two yso's but anyways the lowest group is prelude (all strings)
so i got to rehearsal early (don't ask why) and i was finally able to hear prelude play all their pieces and i was super happy about that because they sounded almost as good as our group, except they were all strings, no flutes or anything and that was amazing

As a flute, I am disgusted. Why would you not want flutes? Trumpets I understand but flutes?? Why no flutes? XD

lol sorry that was worded wrong
let me explain

so
prelude sounded almost as good as our group
and that was amazing because they managed to do it without any winds or brass (like we do)

I know, I just wanted to make a bad joke my band director makes jokes that the flutes complain all the time. It's one of his two jokes

Guys I just spent so much time with my boyfriend I took a 2 hour nap in his arms and when i woke up he was still there, and I woke up NATURALLY it was so friggin great, gods I love him. Sorry for interrupting I'm just really happy.

Nice, my single ass self is hoping my crush says yes when i ask her out this Friday.