@Paperok
It's not really a conscious thing he does, he just stops the fights. He's the oldest and feels like he has to keep an eye out for them.
Ember, (His girlfriend.) was having trouble fighting with her glasses. He traded vision with her giving her his good vision and taking her bad. (I also wanted to change him up a little.)
It's more of a secret party against Sycore. (The villain.) It's a world just like ours but there was once magic that the gang unlocked with the amulets, which are cursed. I'm not going to go all into it, it's very complicated. They can't really let anyone know what's really going on because magic faded away from the human race hundreds of thousands years ago. At first glance, they're just a random group of teenagers in school.
@Mindful_Bison Nice! That sounds entertaining lol.
@Becfromthedead How does Xander react to this pressure to kill? does he stand strong refusing to kill or does he eventually crumble under the harsh reality? how does our little rebellion fight back against the government? What kind of battle is this? a political battle? they don't seem to have the forces to hold a direct war against the government.
@MiBoiSycore How did Hunter do that? I don't mind long paragraphs explaining how the magic amulets work.
@Paperok
I'm still working on that. It's honestly more of a side project. I added it because I had a second gen idea where it's revealed he was able to do a vision trade and it's used again on a colorblind girl.
It may not even be implemented in the final draft.
@Paperok uhhhhh war stuff? (I'm working on it. It's a really unplanned sort of formless story. I'm hoping to give it more shape but I'm not quite there yet).
Xander mostly tries to stay true to his moral code, and if killing is truly necessary, he leaves it to someone else, except for the one time over the course of the story, but it was justified.
The rebellion is really sketchy and poorly put together, but they still try to fight physically, because a political fight won't get them anywhere. The thing is, a rebellion of a similar nature was recently won by another state, which has since become independent, and they used tactics seen more in guerrilla warfare, which came as a surprise to the government. The new rebellion's leaders actually go to the former state to request help in both soldiers and tactics. I haven't worked out all of the details yet, but I'm thinking terrorism against the government and those who are pro-government could make for an interesting plot.
@MiBoiSycore alrighty
@alice Well what is the Character's name?
@Becfromthedead How did that one time play out? did he feel guilty? did he understand that he had no other choice? Yes, that could make a nice plot slightly less related question; Does the rebellion plan to join up with the former state if they "win"?
My character is really underdeveloped at this point, all I can really say is that he is half demon, and this demon thats really high up on the hierarchy got his dad pregnant somehow and out came him. So far he is just coming to ropes with his heritage and sexuality when this angel comes, the angel turns out to be the love interest. This is really bad sorry
Xander killed another person once, when his friend was being attacked and was dying in front of him. He picked up a gun that someone had dropped on the floor, shot the attacker, and then tried to turn the weapon on himself because he was so distraught by his own behavior. He has to be convinced that he was not in the wrong.
The rebellion will not join up with the former state. Instead, all of the states will all break up if possible, and hopefully, most of them will remain in an alliance.
@alice What does Isaac want? ou of everything; what does he want from his life?
@Grace What is this character's name?
@Becfromthedead So, how much of the story do you have at least slightly planned?
@Paperok My characters name is Jaime (Pronounced jay-mee) and he has had insomnia his whole life, ADHD because his dad used to go away on business trips and his nanny would lock him in a small closet.
I just started working on my story's second draft. The first half or so is mostly planned out, aside from a few details. The first draft sort of fell apart because I lost sight of the plot, but I've got a clearer storyline in sight now, and I'm working on the more in-depth things that make my story what it is, such as more fleshed out characters and more world-building.
@Grace What condition is Jaime in now?
@Becfromthedead That's nice if you ever want someone to critique your characters or a chapter or something hit me up I'd be glad to :)
Thanks! I've put Xander up on the Character boards already, and I'm eventually going to post more, once I thoroughly fill out their profiles. I have things in mind, but I had them all saved in a word file and need to transfer them, plus I'm doing some reworking with certain characters. As for chapter critiques, that'll definitely have to wait, since I'm not at all confident. I did let one of my friends starts reading, and that took a lot on my part.
@Paperok I have no idea. All day every day he sits in this chair in this room in this empty house and does basically nothing. There was absolutely no point to this story I just started writing and it happened and now I have nowhere to go with it.
I suppose I'll talk about my protagonist/antagonist character.
The story starts with her being one of the protagonists but she becomes an antagonist by the end.
What makes her unique?
I mean…a decent amount mostly because she's an original race. She's a hybrid. I don't want to write a long explanation so I'll just put this link https://toyhou.se/1681075.hybrids here if anyone wants to learn more about hybrids.
Mara has a difficult past because she is a hybrid which is pretty illegal especially among elves. She turned to thieving when she was young and eventually became a rogue. And I haven't finished the info sheet of rogues so I'll try to do a brief explanation. Rogues are trained by a group of stationary people called Druids where they become very skilled in multiple areas of combat. Rogues tend to be wanderers and adventurers and usually have good intent but are usually not accepted.
I feel like I'm getting off topic. I'll just quickly list Mara's traits
-She has a very strong will which means she has been able to live for over 100 years despite her nature
-Because she is a hybrid, she doesn't feel emotion and is cold and detached even for her kind
-She's very condescending and looks down on most other individuals, earning her respect is usually an honour and a near impossible feat
-Even though hybrids usually are the most powerful race in terms of magic, hers is below average so she tends towards combat skills and usually only uses magic when the situation calls for it
-For a hybrid (I know I keep saying 'for a hybrid' but she's definitely more human than most hybrids are) she's fiercely vengeful and will always get her revenge which usually comes in the form of an assassination on her part
Once she fulfilled her needs of revenge though she had become the supreme ruler of Medeis and had brought chaos and war to the continent. She did eventually succumb to the madness her kind was notorious for because she had no more drive to need to fight it. She gladly accepted death when it came.
Ugh this was messy and long. It's a bit late, sorry. I'm very bad at explaining things
@alice Well if you get any ideas or whatnot im here to chat about it :)
@Reblod How did Maya become an antagonist? what did she want revenge for if you dont mind explaining.
Well as I said, Mara is more human than she should be. Even though she can't feel she's still affected heavily by what happens around her.
As a child she only knew her mother (an elf) for two years before she was abandoned in the forest and the knowledge that she was abandoned by her parents was the starting point. She was later found and adopted by a human named Galena who raised Mara but after finding out what she was (thinking she was a deformed elf) she went to the elves and asked for their help. She had grown attached to Mara and tried to reason with the elves but she killed and Mara was captured. In Mara's eyes, she had been betrayed.
After that, the elves kept her in a cell. They let her starve, fed her the corpse of Galena when they did feed her, experimented on her and generally tortured her as was the elves' nature. She did eventually escape but vowed she would destroy all elves. This is what I mean about her being more human. A hybrid simply wouldn't be able to care but Mara found it in herself to want to take revenge. She was taken in by the rogues, trained, and then set off to kill the elves but found the other main antagonist, Bron, had gotten there first.
She had been spotted by Bron and was later hunted for a long time. Since she had lost her drive which had kept her going for so long, she submitted to her true nature which allowed her to get captured again. She had a mind block set to prevent her from using magic (although she could still use basic manifestations) and was used to promote Bron's rise to power. This sparked her new drive and she escaped again.
That was her main need for revenge but her twisted mind believed that the whole population of Medeis deserved to perish which was why her goal was to usurp Bron's throne after killing him and prolonging the wars that he had started. She did this by manipulating Kado, who matched her in magic abilities. With his abilities and her skills they managed to get to Bron where Mara killed him and attempted to kill Kado even though at some point she realised she didn't want to kill him during their journeys but as they got closer, her drive took over and she forgot about her friendship with him.
Wow sorry. I made it really long again. I honestly have no idea how to make it shorter
Long is good lol. At what point does the main plot of your story take place? When the rogues send Maya after the elves, or when she starts working with Kado? In extension; What kind of world does this story take place in?
Hm… Well Antaya was raised as a singer in a singer family, so in my world she's basically royalty. Singers get different nanotech shots because their instrument is a part of their body, so she's able to summon her music spirit in battle without needing to summon an instrument first. But she's also using deviant technology in the form of a ukulele, so she has two spirits because there's one already attached to the ukulele.
Nicolas was incompatible with the nanotech shot so normally he shouldn't be able to use a music spirit, but he and his late brother salvaged some old military tech (which is now considered deviant) and made do with that. His spirit's AI is really smart, nearing superintelligence, but it's severely lacking in personality, whereas both of Antaya's spirits have human intelligence and personality. He uses two spirits as well, one of them being his dead brother's, but to use his brother's spirit he has to touch someone else's spirit and using it kills the other person.
@nekh whoa hello there, could you explain this battle spirit instrument concept to me?
Well technically the story starts off in Kado's perspective making him the main protagonist. There are four main protagonists but the story is Kado's mainly. It starts just before he meets Mara.
The story is in my own world. The planet is called Nativma and the continent is called Medeis. I'm not sure how to explain it without going into the entire history of it all. i'll just briefly go over it
So there were these two beings, Duns and Lins, who were enemies. Eventually, they fought and Lins almost lost but with his remaining power he trapped Duns in a star (sun) and built Nativma around himself.
He created the races to protect the surface of Nativma and created the three moons to protect the outer area. Medeis is the closest link to Lins so that is the only continent that allows the races to use magic. Since Lins was a being of darkness, the races are infected by his magic (I like to imagine a lot of veins running through everything on Medeis and magic is the blood) and that's why there are so many wars. The magic corrupts anyone who overuses it and it creates conflict. The affects of magic vary a bit depending on race though.
Um I suppose the closest time era would be middle ages-ish. Kind of your typical fantasy setting with a lot of mythical creatures and magical places.
@Reblod So about this Kado fellow, tell me about his character
What makes my character unique?
…
Honestly I think it's her flaws more than anything. She's blunt, aggressive when provoked, and has this victim mentality that makes her think she's always being targeted and singled out even when she isn't. Her main flaw (and subject of its own arc) is the fact that she has no loyalty to anyone but herself, and yet she refuses to take the people around her seriously because she doesn't believe they'd be loyal to her (kind of a hypocrite, honestly). I think her flaws make her unique because they allow for so many diverse character arcs interacting with the main storyline (plus she's a protagonist without a love story, not even in a subplot). She has a lot of character development planned which will hopefully make her more real in the long run.
Also, she's really bizarre and full of contradictions. Like she has purple highlights and combat boots and a take-no-prisoners attitude, but she also loves sewing, cooking, knitting, and baking and she grows her hair out because secretly it makes her feel like a princess.
I don't know if she's really unique in the sense that she's special or that this level of character development is unusual. It's more like she's the most developed, human character I've ever created so she's unique to me as a symbol of my continuing growth as a writer, if that makes sense.
[I just realised how long I've been ranting for, sorry about that]
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