forum shakespearean insult battle, anyone?

Started July 07, 2019 by @Leo-Valdez-Is-The-God-Of-Chaos

tune

I shall start, and end it too, for no wise word can come from you!

Death’s head upon a Mop-Stick, white-livered weakling, thou art a flesh monger, a fool and a coward.

Well met, I'll say, but I'm not here to play. Thou beslubbering worm, thou fat-kidneyed Harpy, begone from my sight and make room for grown men.

Thoust patronizes me with no true knowledge of what he gets himself into. Better a bird on my tongue than a beast on yours!

Ye be both as foolish as you are verbose you wild mannered swine that reel in drunken stupor. Be filled with any more vileness and your fat could overflow and let the putrid puke spout from all orifices like as a rotting egg when hit by a hag’s sling.

You common cry of curs! whose breath I hate
As reek o’ the rotten fens, whose loves I prize
As the dead carcasses of unburied men
That do corrupt my air, – I banish you.

When e’r I have a need of thoughts most foul
So often do I turn my thoughts to thee
With hate I think upon thy horrid scowl
With shrinking skin I wish my mind could flee
From thinking of your grin like vultures prowl
I swear it’s better swinging from a tree
So in this last display of lasting hate
I comfort me that you shall never mate

A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality, I do applaud with scorn.

You hold yourself above my “worthless taunts” and yet laudable you are forced to deem them. Now who is the greater teller of untrue tales? Varmint! Your head is off of you and rolling in the dung.

Uh…. your mom! Just kidding, I'll be more accurate to Shakespeare:

Villain, I have done thy mother!

Only because thou hasn't thy own!

Only because thou hasn't thy own!

(Eh-scue-fuggin-moi?)

I sit atop my throne and think:
these challengers doth truly stink
I laugh and scorn, a crown adorned
atop my head, long shall it be worn.

I'll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.

Thou posseses no talents for insults, the quality is e'r lo as my computer screen's.

Thou speakest as though ye have talent thyself!
Sniveling hound, thy clumsy tongue is no match for my sword-sharp wit!

Thou speakest as though ye have talent thyself!
Sniveling hound, thy clumsy tongue is no match for my sword-sharp wit!

(sh*t man you're good uh i need to think)

Thou speakest as though ye have talent thyself!
Sniveling hound, thy clumsy tongue is no match for my sword-sharp wit!

(sh*t man you're good uh i need to think)

lol think faster