All right, question: at what point in a scene does a description fit well? In most cases I actually forget about it completely until I remember that "hey, there's a world outside this character's inner monologue! and right now it's completely blank! isn't that fun :D" and at that point adding any description is just… awkward. But so is going back and squeezing it into the beginning.
So basically, how do you describe things without breaking the flow of the scene?
AH! Excellent question.
The obvious answer would be 'at the beginning' because that is a great place to put it as you are creating the scene and what not. But at the same time you do not want to info dump on the reader by going on and on about how the forest looks while Character A and Character B camp down for the night, blah blah blah.
So, what I've done is kinda slip in descriptions and such when there is a lull in the character's thoughts and/or dialogue. Don't add a bunch, maybe a two sentence little notation reminding not only yourself as the Author but the Reader as well that the world is still revolving outside the character's head. It also helps with flow, especially if you are having trouble with the fact that your plot moves too fast. Taking little breaks here and there can be super beneficial.
Also, make your characters interact with the world around them. Just think, how many people stay perfectly still while they talk to someone? Literally nobody. For example: As I type this, I am tapping my right foot against the wooden floor to the beat of my own song, admiring the way the sunlight comes through my office window in the afternoon. Like honeyed wine, pooling across the floor to mark the time. I look away from my computer to softly remind my boss that he has a meeting in 10 minutes, but my fingers still flash about the keyboard, tiny soldiers smartly rapping against the keys.
Characters are not always going to 'run their hand through their hair' or 'cross their arms', they're going to want to move around a space and those actions can really help place the descriptions. Nothing, no one, and no plot is ever stationary.
If you have a well build world around your characters you're going to want to write about it. :D
That's really great advice, thank you so much!
(I sincerely hope your fingers aren't actually raping against anything)
Fo Sho!
when you type too fast because you were actually talking to your boss and weren't paying attention. XD
moood
I see I'm not the only who's occasionally distracted by notebook at work… that's comforting
Occasionally? Lol, more like all the time.
Okay, I'm working on this story idea and I need someone to like give me some pointers on it and maybe tweak it. So, could you?
But of course
(Here it is.)
A girl who is a tomboy and a girl who's a girly girl, they have different lives. (Possible Story Plot: But they both wish that they could live in this tv show Teen Wolf, and they could both end up in the tv show. But the tomboy is a girly girl character and the girly girl is a tomboy character.) They’re lives (kind of) get switched and the tomboy becomes a girly girl and the girly girl becomes a tomboy. They know that this happens and try to get back to their regular lives. But end up finding things that make their lives better. A boyfriend maybe? Another friend? The tomboy and girly girl are friends and have known each other since kindergarten.
(What do you think?)
Is this for an RP? Or an actual story?
A story I'm working on.
I don’t really think that’d be a good storyline for a book? It’s just like… overused. No offense or anything but like, you could make it lesbian? That’d be pretty cute.
Maybe. That would make it even more interesting, I guess.
Yeah, it's a bit…cliche….but making it gay could help add a new twist!
The life switching trope has been over used, but you can certainly add a little spice to it. Maybe by bringing in some controversial topics? Race/ethnicity, sexuality/gender.
You don't want your readers to think that the story is basic because at the end of the day they want to relate to your characters. Having a tomboy character that comes from a traditional Hispanic/ Asian house where it's more proper for a girl to be feminine would be an interesting plot point. Or even having a transgirl be your 'girly girl'.
Having two white girls switch lives for a few days doesn't give off feeling. Does that make sense?
Oh, the girly girl has a darker skin color than the tomboy. Her skin color is like a beige-ish brown
Okay, that's a great start! But that says nothing about her ethnicity what troubles she goes through, if any, from that. Or what deeper inner turmoil she may be going through during the story. Right now you've got two Mary Sues, you need to explore them as individual people. Don't be afraid to mess them up a bit. Everyone has skeletons
Beige is also…pretty white.
I've done a little work on the characters, would you like to see them? Keep in mind they're not finished. But, would you like to see what I've done so far?
Sure thing! Post it up
Here they are:
Self notes crammed in one:
Why so many nicknames? I only got one?? Nicknames aren't just spawned from nowhere.
Their appearances are very bland. Not a lot of detail at all.
Their personalities (gonna be totally honest) are completely worthless. I don't know anything from it and I literally can't remember one fact about them.
Pro Tip:
Don't use "quirky" to describe characters, it offers no insight and is the epitome of telling instead of showing.
No offense, but both are underdeveloped and seem like Manic Pixie Dream Girls.
Hmmmm. I have to agree a bit with what both Jynnie and Emi said.
These are great base characters for your story, but they are still in their Mary Sue phase. Think about how you really want them to act, be, think, feel, express themselves. Expand on the things you already have.
You said 'Quirky'. Okay great! What makes her quirky?
What makes them 'loyal'?
what are their backgrounds like? Ethnicity really helps you build on characters because you can take things from that culture to describe your character. For example:
If you have a Hispanic character you can say that they are very loyal and family oriented because that is what the culture is like.
Does this make sense?
edit: https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/570022# here is one of my characters you can use for reference (ONLY) Just so you can see how you can expand all those details.
Hiya Eris. So I've got my MC for the main story I'm working on, and I'm trying very hard to flesh her out and get her to a point where she's 'living' if you see what I mean. I'm just not sure where to go from where is now. I've got a page for her, and I can answer questions and things