forum I'm putting this here, so I never forget...

Started February 03, 2018 by Mio

tune

I am the mom friend… My friends are my children… Each boyfriend or girlfriend that they choose, is welcomed in like a step-daughter or son… My boyfriend is like my husband… I am to always be there, cause if I am not it might all go wrong.

I am to keep them out of trouble, when I can. Stop them from doing silly and unreasonable things. I clean up their messes, and threaten anyone who hurts them. I make terrible, corny jokes just to get them to smile, and I love silly, little things. I bring them together. I have a sixth sense; I know when something is off or if someone they are hanging out with or dating is bad news. But, I often let them have these friends. And, I let them make their own choices. I know, if things get tough, they will pull through or come to me for help. I will always be there to help.

I will always listen, but never push to know. I will never hate them for something they tell me. I will always welcome them. I will keep their secrets safe. They can always trust me. They can always cry on my shoulder. I will always be there to hold them close. I will never tell them lies, only the truth. I will give advice, even when they may not follow it. I will encourage them to be strong. I will not let anyone put them down. I will not let anyone hate them for their opinions. I will sing them lullabies to comfort them. I will make them sweets if needed. I will always be there. No matter what. Till the very end. I will always have room for them. I will follow them to hell and back. I will always love them.

This comes with a cost. I may never let my problems show through. If I do, then all their happy moods will drop, causing frowns. They have enough on their plates. I will not give them more. My problems are complex and huge. They may even seem crazy or ridiculous. I will always put them aside when a friend needs me. I will focus on my friends' problems before mine, so that they are happy and I can see their smiles. It may tear me up inside, but that is okay… My children come before me, as does my husband. I care for them deeply, and as long as they are happy then I am too. It will always hurt when I lose one… But, sometimes birds must leave the nest.

As the mom friend, I will always love them unconditionally. I will always protect them, even if that means taking a bullet. I will always support them. I will let them go off on their own, but be there when needed. I will always put them before me. I am the mom friend… They are my children… My boyfriend is my husband… This is the weight I hold… The weight I choose to hold…

Idk what this is but I love it and it explained me to a T…

I'm very confused.

This is the situation i feel my mom is in, and also let me tell you from the perspective of being the baby and last in the house of a family and finally see the truth behind the home cooked meals and days at work, not saying my parents are perfect cause heck no they arent, but, i finally see the crows feet, the cracks in their smiles, and the heartbreak in them as i bring girl after girl into my life thinking shes the one or theres possibility, but as always "no", and im much much like you, i give my problems up when someone i care about needs my help, ear, or love, its just easy for me, but right now as my current girlfriend has warned me, people will see that in me a rip it to pieces cause they can and i wont do anything about it, but the truly sad part i actually just saw yesterday (since im writing this at… hey 1:26am) she also manipulates me, and its not the "whoops i didnt realize" cause hey sometimes its human nature, but she truly, purposefully after a lifetime by family of using emotional abuse on her shes started to use those very methods that were torture to her on me, and it would destroy her if she could fully comprehend what she was doing, not only driving a wedge between us, but me knowing i cant say anything and also knowing just by my personality, that i'll continue to come back as the puppy wagging his tail begging for more, BUT back to my main point i am the youngest by 6 years and i finally fully see my moms depression my dads depression both of their anxiety, my dads emotional abuse, my moms emotional abuse, my parents distrust with one another, and like a mouse with a sword aimed at a snakes head and the snakes fangs ready to make the final deathly blow, But that being said, problems, shouldnt be swept under, cause someday that rug wont hold enough under it, and the flood that comes with it, will not let you grab on for dear life, so make your decisions, make your mind up, cause holding these things repressing them is just making the fuse longer, yeah it pushes back the problem a few feet, but just wait, one day, the fuse will get too close and the explosion that comes could destroy everything, i almost lost my life and all that mattered to me by this very example, i may sound young but the sands of time dont control the wars an individual faces, only the armor they wear into it, but Thats just me and on that note my dear friend and short term acquaintance i am headed to bed, gnight and thank you for you sentimental words, they truly make a ripple, so keep skipping stones, one day youll hit the other side :) cya

Both of these were touching