Because we all need some positivity right now. Share something funny that's happened to you (or someone you know)! I'll also share below:
[for context we were in a car in a very crowded parking lot]
My grandma: Be careful when you open your door! We don't want to hit the car next to us.
Also my grandma: *opens her door and hits the car next to us *
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My sibling: Tries to swing the cover of their sketchbook around so that it flips shut.
My sibling: Fails, and tries again.
My sibling: Fails and tries a third time, swinging the book very hard this time.
My sibling: Gets smacked in the face by the sketchbook cover
A bit random and hard to explain, I know, but the comedic timing was PERFECT and also I support this chat idea XDD
Context: We were playing a trivia game.
Me: What's the fastest thing in the univ-
My mom: A cheetah.
[for context this was in an after-school math club]
Generally rude kid: You’re the queen of weirdos.
Me: Bow down.
The loudest thing in the world is a yelling mom
[Context: My grandmother needed my grandfather's help with something, and sent me to go get him. I come upon him sleeping in his living room chair. It is 17:00]
Me, nudging him awake: "Good morning."
My grandfather proceeds to glance about in confusion, and even checks his watch. I tell him he's been summoned by my grandmother, and he goes to assist her.
-15 minutes later-
My grandfather, walking out of the bedroom laughing his ass off: "You little shit, I thought it was the next day! I even thought my watch was broken!"
(Please note: I did not do this out of malice. I just say "Good morning" in response to anyone waking up, regardless of what time it is.)
[for context this was in third-grade art class]
Kid next to me: Ugh, my drawing is so bad!
Third-grade me: You're right, it is.
[for context this was in a small local restaurant and our order was being taken]
Guy in the kitchen: How many fries do I make?
Guy taking our order: As many as they ordered, JESSE
Lol I am Jesse
Ok so This happened 2 days ago while I was playing MH4U right? And I’m in a multiplayer chat room hanging out and fighting monsters, chatting, the whole shebang! So we’re coming back from this long 50 min quest to slay a Kecha or whatever and I’m like “Whoop Whoop!! Good one guys! :D” (And before this happened, one of the teammates asked me if I was a girl and I said “Yes” because I’m honest like that) So this dude approaches me and says “insertusername?“ Me:“Yeah?” Him:“Can we talk privately?” (And guys I’m pretty oblivious and nonchalant so I say) “Sure!”:D Then he tells me he’s setting up a separate hub and to join it right? Which I do! And now it’s just the two of us, in this hub, alone… Then he’s like “insertusername? Me:”Yeah?” Him:”…I love you” (And I’m like WHAT?!!🤣 WhAT is this dude talking about??? We just met TODAY!!🗣) And I tell him this! I’m like “Dude you don’t even KNOW ME!!”😂 He says “I know…” (So you know I’m chill & all, so I say) “It’s ok man, I mean we can still be friends and all. XD” Him:”Ok…” (dead silence) Him: “Kisses your lips softly” I’m like NOOOOOOOO WE JUST TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!😭😂 I don’t know what was going through this guy's head! Like was he expecting us to sing Love Is an Open Door or something, because he was really trying to pull a Anna and prince Hans!!
[for context I was at my cousins' house and it was right before Valentine's Day]
Me: I know I still have the rest of my life to find one, but I'm still sad that I don't have a boyfriend for Valentines Day.
My 7-year-old cousin, with the authority of a professor: Don't get a boyfriend. You're better without one. Trust me. I've had two.
Me: But??? You're seven???
[for context I was at my cousins' house and it was right before Valentine's Day]
Me: I know I still have the rest of my life to find one, but I'm still sad that I don't have a boyfriend for Valentines Day.
My 7-year-old cousin, with the authority of a professor: Don't get a boyfriend. You're better without one. Trust me. I've had two.
Me: But??? You're seven???
I only had one by the time I was 7
It wasn't official, but he gave me a teddy bear for Valentine's Day
I only had one by the time I was 7
It wasn't official, but he gave me a teddy bear for Valentine's Day
My heart
[for context this was in third-grade art class]
Kid next to me: Ugh, my drawing is so bad!
Third-grade me: You're right, it is.
Me.
[for context this was a story from my youth group leader]
Youth leader's 5-year-old daughter: So I'm gonna be a baby girl and you're gonna take me from my family
Youth leader's 3-year-old son: Okay
Daughter: And then you're gonna raise me as your child
Youth leader: Uh, you shouldn't be playing that game. That's a little dark.
Daughter: What if Mommy says yes?
Leader: Sure, I guess you can play if your mom agrees.
Daughter: Mommy, can we play Detangler?
Leader's wife: ????
Daughter: We were playing Tangled.
Welp, I guess it’s time for another story!😂(This one is pretty lengthy so bare with me.) So this was back in Junior High when I was in the 8th grade right? I remember we were all sitting in class and our teacher had us look at the movie Diary of A Wimpy Kid. And we got to the part where you know Rodrick put a chocolate bar in Greg’s seat and he sat on it, and the whole church saw?? yeah..So the bell rings, we go to lunch, and then have recess. My legs were kinda tired from walking around the playground so I decided to go chill with my friend on the bench. The bell rings for us to come back inside and as soon as I stand up my friend says “Hey, you have chocolate on your butt!” And I’m like
(cause I’m thinking this girl said something real ignorant to me 😂) Until she points at the bench and There was a melted chocolate bar with cheek imprints on it right where I was sitting I said “NOO just like in the movie!! 😱” and she just dies laughing and I’m emotionally devastated! And then The bell rings we had to go back to class, and guys I was sweating by this point! There was nothing I could do! But then I remembered there’s a girl’s bathroom in the building behind the concession stand, I could go there and wash it out! I waited til almost everyone left the playground and booked it there! I took off my pants, got some hand soap and napkins and scrubbed like a madman. And when I had finished, I got all the chocolate out…BUT NOW THERE WAS A WET SPOT WHERE THE CHOCOLATE WAS!! Now I’m burning my last few brain cells trying to think of how I’m gonna dry my pants, get to class, and have an exscuse for my absence. Then it hit me! The building I was in was connected to the gym (Meaning I could sneak through the gym, go through It’s double doors at the end, and reach my class!) PERFECT I throw on my pants, walk to the gym, and as soon as I open the door to step in–They’re having PE in the gym! I’m just done by this point, me and my wet spot. But you know what? It wasn’t over because I came up with another plan, and I made it through those double doors. To minimize the chance of anyone seeing the wet spot on the back of my pants this is what my 8th grade mind came up with. I spun all the way to those double doors, I didn’t look anyone in the eye, they temporarily stopped their game of dodgeball to look at me but I just kept on spinning. And I spun right out those double doors and to my classroom.
[for context, my local Walmart has started placing stickers of Pixar characters on the bananas]
My mom: *picks up bananas with Linguine from Ratatouille on them*
My mom: WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU ON MY BANANAS?!
I read that as lingerie and was way confused about a lot of things.
(that was funnier than my story thank you for that response)
Lingerie 😂