forum Hey guys question about feminism

Started December 10, 2019 by @Leo-Valdez-Is-The-God-Of-Chaos

tune

So this is kinda random, but if thinking that all women are the same receives the response 'you evil slimebag! Go die!, then why does thinking that all men are the same receive the response 'yay someone said it!'

Hmm. I don't quite think that that is feminism.

I'm not sure if you want me to go into detail about what I'm thinking, though.

Because it's talking about two different things? Saying "All women are the same" usually means like…shallow and rude and stupid and stuff. "All men are the same" usually is because it's used to mean…rape-y and stuff. Because even if a man isn't a rapist or something, they usually will defend the rapist. My own dad defended a rapist when I brought up the subject, saying that the woman who accused the guy was "just trying to ruin his career" and when I said it was scary (I meant that it's scary that a woman will not be believed if she says she was raped), he replied with "yeah, it really is scary when one little accusation can ruin your entire career". And i'm like… "????" and kinda dropped the subject.
But do you see what I'm saying? sort of?

So this is kinda random, but if thinking that all women are the same receives the response 'you evil slimebag! Go die!, then why does thinking that all men are the same receive the response 'yay someone said it!'

Those are the extreme feminists

Almost all of the feminists I know (I'm a straight guy who supports that movement, mind you) actually distance themselves away from those people because of their extreme interpretation of the movement

Because it's talking about two different things? Saying "All women are the same" usually means like…shallow and rude and stupid and stuff. "All men are the same" usually is because it's used to mean…rape-y and stuff. Because even if a man isn't a rapist or something, they usually will defend the rapist. My own dad defended a rapist when I brought up the subject, saying that the woman who accused the guy was "just trying to ruin his career" and when I said it was scary (I meant that it's scary that a woman will not be believed if she says she was raped), he replied with "yeah, it really is scary when one little accusation can ruin your entire career". And i'm like… "????" and kinda dropped the subject.
But do you see what I'm saying? sort of?

But, in the flipside of this, when Cardi B came out and admitted to drugging and robbing men when she worked as a stripper, no one gave a shit

If a male said that, he'd be in jail

I just wish there was a fair median for both sides to meet at

Because it's talking about two different things? Saying "All women are the same" usually means like…shallow and rude and stupid and stuff. "All men are the same" usually is because it's used to mean…rape-y and stuff. Because even if a man isn't a rapist or something, they usually will defend the rapist. My own dad defended a rapist when I brought up the subject, saying that the woman who accused the guy was "just trying to ruin his career" and when I said it was scary (I meant that it's scary that a woman will not be believed if she says she was raped), he replied with "yeah, it really is scary when one little accusation can ruin your entire career". And i'm like… "????" and kinda dropped the subject.
But do you see what I'm saying? sort of?

But, in the flipside of this, when Cardi B came out and admitted to drugging and robbing men when she worked as a stripper, no one gave a shit

If a male said that, he'd be in jail

Very true. However, drugging and robbing is extremely different from rape

Because it's talking about two different things? Saying "All women are the same" usually means like…shallow and rude and stupid and stuff. "All men are the same" usually is because it's used to mean…rape-y and stuff. Because even if a man isn't a rapist or something, they usually will defend the rapist. My own dad defended a rapist when I brought up the subject, saying that the woman who accused the guy was "just trying to ruin his career" and when I said it was scary (I meant that it's scary that a woman will not be believed if she says she was raped), he replied with "yeah, it really is scary when one little accusation can ruin your entire career". And i'm like… "????" and kinda dropped the subject.
But do you see what I'm saying? sort of?

But, in the flipside of this, when Cardi B came out and admitted to drugging and robbing men when she worked as a stripper, no one gave a shit

If a male said that, he'd be in jail

Very true. However, drugging and robbing is extremely different from rape

And some of the accusations are fake

Recently, Luke Walton, an NBA coach, was accused of sexual assault in an event that happened over 3 years ago.

He aggressively denied the accuser and immediately went to court. He nearly lost his job over this lady's false accusations, and only just recently was it revealed that she did it solely for money

Now, this in no way unvalidates every rape accusation choughcoughKevin Spacycoughcough, but you gotta understand that as men, we're suddenly feeling like every movement we make could be suddenly assumed to be harassment and could put us in jail

That's why we always seem a bit skeptical at first

Because it's talking about two different things? Saying "All women are the same" usually means like…shallow and rude and stupid and stuff. "All men are the same" usually is because it's used to mean…rape-y and stuff. Because even if a man isn't a rapist or something, they usually will defend the rapist. My own dad defended a rapist when I brought up the subject, saying that the woman who accused the guy was "just trying to ruin his career" and when I said it was scary (I meant that it's scary that a woman will not be believed if she says she was raped), he replied with "yeah, it really is scary when one little accusation can ruin your entire career". And i'm like… "????" and kinda dropped the subject.
But do you see what I'm saying? sort of?

But, in the flipside of this, when Cardi B came out and admitted to drugging and robbing men when she worked as a stripper, no one gave a shit

If a male said that, he'd be in jail

Very true. However, drugging and robbing is extremely different from rape

And some of the accusations are fake

Recently, Luke Walton, an NBA coach, was accused of sexual assault in an event that happened over 3 years ago.

He aggressively denied the accuser and immediately went to court. He nearly lost his job over this lady's false accusations, and only just recently was it revealed that she did it solely for money

Now, this in no way unvalidates every rape accusation choughcoughKevin Spacycoughcough, but you gotta understand that as men, we're suddenly feeling like every movement we make could be suddenly assumed to be harassment and could put us in jail

And as a woman, I am scared to walk alone in the dark. As a woman, I am scared to be in a room with a man I don't know, because I don't know what he's going to do. As a woman, I walk with my keys in my fist on my way to the car. As a woman, I know that if I am raped or assaulted, no one will believe me, and if I'm not on birth control already, I have a high risk of pregnancy.

That's why we always seem a bit skeptical at first

There's no issue with being skeptical. However, defending someone and saying that their career is more important than someone else's life? There's my issue

And as a woman, I am scared to walk alone in the dark. As a woman, I am scared to be in a room with a man I don't know, because I don't know what he's going to do. As a woman, I walk with my keys in my fist on my way to the car. As a woman, I know that if I am raped or assaulted, no one will believe me, and if I'm not on birth control already, I have a high risk of pregnancy.

Again, as I said, you have good reason to feel like that. This isn't me attacking you for feeling that way, because it's a real threat. But I'm trying to say that not all men are like that. Personally, I don't even touch a woman unless she gives me explicit permission.

But I'm trying to say that not all men are like that.

Maybe I didn't make this point the focal point of my previous statement very well, but that's what I was trying to do

And as a woman, I am scared to walk alone in the dark. As a woman, I am scared to be in a room with a man I don't know, because I don't know what he's going to do. As a woman, I walk with my keys in my fist on my way to the car. As a woman, I know that if I am raped or assaulted, no one will believe me, and if I'm not on birth control already, I have a high risk of pregnancy.

Again, as I said, you have good reason to feel like that. This isn't me attacking you for feeling that way, because it's a real threat. But I'm trying to say that not all men are like that. Personally, I don't even touch a woman unless she gives me explicit permission.

I know that that's what you're saying, and I'm sure that any women you know are thankful for that respect you give them. I'm not trying to attack you, either, I'm just saying that a lot of men either don't see this as an issue, or try to blame whatever the victim was wearing or if they were slightly/a lot drunk. I recognize that not all men are like that, and I'm not trying to say that all men are going to rape or assault someone. I'm just saying that enough do, and others defend them. I'm not trying to make this about your actions specifically, because you do seem like a decent guy.

But I'm trying to say that not all men are like that.

Maybe I didn't make this point the focal point of my previous statement very well, but that's what I was trying to do

Nah I got it (I think)

That's why we always seem a bit skeptical at first

There's no issue with being skeptical. However, defending someone and saying that their career is more important than someone else's life? There's my issue

(I didn't see this)

Oh, no, skepticism (at least for me) never switches into biased actions for me

I just wanna know all of the facts before I immediately thrash the man

That's why we always seem a bit skeptical at first

There's no issue with being skeptical. However, defending someone and saying that their career is more important than someone else's life? There's my issue

(I didn't see this)

Oh, no, skepticism (at least for me) never switches into biased actions for me

I just wanna know all of the facts before I immediately thrash the man

(Totally fine)

Good.

Yeah, and I understand that, and I doback that up, that having facts/evidence to support an accusation is necessary, but the problem is is that sometimes there isn't any evidence, or not substantial evidence, but the victim is still a victim. For instance, the "rape kits", where the…(you know what, I'm going to put this in a spoiler block because it's a little…inappropriate and idk anyone else's age)

Which isn't the victim's fault, and doesn't negate the crime in any way, but it means that now the case is she-said vs he-said, and in those types of cases, the man always wins, even when someone else knows about and can testify that the rape happened.

I don't think I'm explaining this whole things very well, and I'm sorry about that.

But Baylee, I do think that you and I are about on about the same page with this, we're just coming at it from two different perspectives