forum Fitting a character description into the first scenes

Started October 15, 2018 by NOpe

tune

Advice on how I should fit a description of my main character into the beginning?

dunno. I've always wondered the same thing.

First off, the character details are sprinkled in throughout the first few chapters, not paragraphs. This is important, so unless your character walks in front of a mirror or sees a reflection of themselves, readers will not know the full details and have to fill it in on their own–that's part of the magic of writing.

If your character is describing another character, make sure to stay in character while writing it if it's from the thoughts or words. If you're going for a more omniscient point of view description of the other character, just say basic details about them at the beginning, like height, hair color, body type, and clothing. Fill in the smaller details the longer the character stays around.

Eye color isn't helpful unless it's either:

1. Symbolism or representative of something,
2. An unusual eye color (gold, purple, red, black, etc.), or
3. A certain emotion in the eyes that draws the character or reader to them to notice both the color and the other thing about them (murderous glint, tired with bags under the eyes, sunken in or buldging, etc.)

One way I had this work was that my character looked in a mirror, or they got ready for the day and describe how they did their hair, or how they did their makeup on their tan skin or things like that. Here's a sloppy example I put together:

I shuffled my feet over to my bathroom and stared at the mirror. The person staring back at me had tired hazel eyes, died jet black, long, straight hair, olive skin, and a roundish face. She looked tired and not ready for the day. Her eyes blinked slowly still straining to stay open. I stared at my reflection for a while to tired to finally get ready for the long day ahead of me.

One of the most helpful things I ever watched

The problem with describing the main character as they see themselves in the mirror is that it's not very realistic. When I look in the mirror, do I think about how I have blue eyes and straight-ish teeth and a not-sure-what-word-describes-it nose? No. I see the annoying pimple on my chin and the fact that my hair isn't smooth. I might admire a fancy hairdo or decide that I really need some kind of necklace to balance out the neckline of my shirt, but I don't think about what looks the same every day.

We notice things that are different.

For describing your characters, think about when you (and others) notice different aspects of how you (they) look. I think about my eyes being blue when I choose that one jumper that I know makes them look sort of green. A character's height might come up if they're interacting with others taller or shorter than themselves, or if they need to duck under a doorframe or get something off a high shelf. Don't shoehorn these moments in just to describe the character, but find the existing places in the first chapter where this sort of thing could come up.

You don't. This is something that gets depicted over time. If details aren't important, then don't include them. Also info-dumping in the first scene of a story is a bad idea. It's just too much and not immediately important enough. Listen, your reader does not care in the first scene or two whether the mc has hair that's always in a ponytail rather than a braid. It's all in small details over spans of time. So yes, the mirror scene (which is slightly cliche, and I would not recommend it at all) could work, but you might want to skim over it a little more- perhaps say your main character is braiding her brown hair and she looks tired. You could throw that in pretty naturally. If a description feels rigid or unnatural, then it probably is. If you want to put personality in the first scene, this is probably not the best idea either. Personality comes through actions, and saying that someone is shy or kind or funny isn't the same as experiencing it. I guess what I'm saying is the old, "show, don't tell."

The problem with describing the main character as they see themselves in the mirror is that it's not very realistic. When I look in the mirror, do I think about how I have blue eyes and straight-ish teeth and a not-sure-what-word-describes-it nose? No. I see the annoying pimple on my chin and the fact that my hair isn't smooth. I might admire a fancy hairdo or decide that I really need some kind of necklace to balance out the neckline of my shirt, but I don't think about what looks the same every day.

Yeah, I guess, but also my way does work. Some people, like myself, enjoy studying themselves everyday. When I wake up I like to study myself. So this is realistic and not everything has to be so perfect and realistic. Everyone is different. We all have different opinions. This was one of mine. Also, it's just a creative way to describe your character. This doesn't have to happen EVERY time someone's character looks in the mirror I'm just saying that it's just one way that you can fit your character's description in the story. Also, this is one of my ways, I am not forcing anyone to do this, it was only a suggestion. This was just an option. I was not saying that you had to do it. Also, everyone is different and like things differently, you don't have to critique someone else's opinion if you don't like it.

Also, this is one of my ways, I am not forcing anyone to do this, it was only a suggestion. This was just an option. I was not saying that you had to do it. Also, everyone is different and like things differently, you don't have to critique someone else's opinion if you don't like it.

I'm sorry if it sounded like I was targeting you in my post, @TheGhostlyHufflepuffThatWatchesAnime - what I wrote was also in response to this from a previous post:

unless your character walks in front of a mirror or sees a reflection of themselves, readers will not know the full details

and I wanted to point out a common pitfall with that method, which is that it can often (but not always) feel forced and unrealistic. I should have worded it in less absolute terms.

Description in a mirror can certainly be done well, I've no doubt, (there is quite a good one in Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield Fisher and even JK Rowling uses it in Goblet of Fire) and I understand that each character will have a slightly different way of observing the world around them. Unfortunately I have seen it done very badly in a lot of books which has made me wary of the trope.

Okay, I understand where your coming from.

Also sorry if that sounded a bit mean, I guess I took your post the wrong way and I got a bit defensive. That's just my weird personality.

I like describing my character from another person's point of view. Whereas the protagonist might describe their black eyes as "boring, too emo," someone else might wax poetic about how "it swallowed the stars in its inky vastness" and yeah