multiple funny stories about me and crabs
one time I went to a restaurant with my friends and long story short I accidentally ate a piece of crab meat which sent me into anaphylactic shock. The EMT that came to save my silly life was really (and I mean really) attractive which made me all embarrassed and grumpy that I was literally dying from eating something I shouldn't have and he looked me right in the eye and said "Don't be crabby."
I still have not recovered from this.
More recently my Papa Woods goes crab fishing out in the bay and brings it home for my family to feast on while he makes me a fancy steak (my dad is so sweet). Anyway–he had been keeping them in the freezer before cooking them but forgot to tell me. So I went to grab something out of the freezer and was immediately terrified by the slow moving beastie that I vomited all over the floor and passed out.
No I have not recovered from this either and it is one of Papa Woods' favorite dinner party stories to tell.
exACTLY. what the fuck is this half fucking truckbed supposed to do. you cant put the dogs back there. you cant fit a bucket of crabs and sixteen crab pots back there. it's the worst. where are the cables you never use supposed to go? the shovel you dont remember buying? the ropes that have absolutely no purpose except to make it look slightly like you may have committed a murder?
I'm not even a "Merican and I really feel this.
one time I went to a restaurant with my friends and long story short I accidentally ate a piece of crab meat which sent me into anaphylactic shock. The EMT that came to save my silly life was really (and I mean really) attractive which made me all embarrassed and grumpy that I was literally dying from eating something I shouldn't have and he looked me right in the eye and said "Don't be crabby."
I want to marry this man.
exACTLY. what the fuck is this half fucking truckbed supposed to do. you cant put the dogs back there. you cant fit a bucket of crabs and sixteen crab pots back there. it's the worst. where are the cables you never use supposed to go? the shovel you dont remember buying? the ropes that have absolutely no purpose except to make it look slightly like you may have committed a murder?
I'm not even a "Merican and I really feel this.
neither am i but my. aunt and her husband are crabbers. my family comes from alaska and so i get that sea-hick shit
one time I went to a restaurant with my friends and long story short I accidentally ate a piece of crab meat which sent me into anaphylactic shock. The EMT that came to save my silly life was really (and I mean really) attractive which made me all embarrassed and grumpy that I was literally dying from eating something I shouldn't have and he looked me right in the eye and said "Don't be crabby."
I want to marry this man.
He proposes with "don't be crabby, I'll spend my life with you".
wAIT NO-
I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING TO ERIS
I just saw my band teacher absolutely book it six miles
I just saw my band teacher absolutely book it six miles
Why does that surprise you?
my director runs marathons lmao so she’s pretty damn fast
I just saw my band teacher absolutely book it six miles
Why does that surprise you?
my director runs marathons lmao so she’s pretty damn fast
so does mine lmao there's just
no preparing yourself for seeing your band teacher
in a matching tracksuit and hat
b o o k i n g
i t
through your town lmao
I just saw my band teacher absolutely book it six miles
Why does that surprise you?
my director runs marathons lmao so she’s pretty damn fast
so does mine lmao there's just
no preparing yourself for seeing your band teacher
in a matching tracksuit and hat
b o o k i n g
i t
through your town lmao
oh lol I don’t live in the same area as my school so I don’t see people I know… like… ever.
One awkward encounter I've had with seeing a teacher running was with my mom. For context, I've only ever seen him wear a full suit (and he's, like, twenty something while my mom was 39 at the time)
She and I were in the car chatting, and I spot someone that looks like my teacher. To satisfy my curiosity, I keep staring to double check. He's in shorts and a muscle tee and has clearly been going at it for a while from the slight shine. My mom thinks I'm checking him out and gets happy, but then I shatter her dreams by my horrified whisper, "That's Zamps…"
one time I went to a restaurant with my friends and long story short I accidentally ate a piece of crab meat which sent me into anaphylactic shock. The EMT that came to save my silly life was really (and I mean really) attractive which made me all embarrassed and grumpy that I was literally dying from eating something I shouldn't have and he looked me right in the eye and said "Don't be crabby."
I want to marry this man.
He proposes with "don't be crabby, I'll spend my life with you".
Jay has left the chat
plot twist: The EMT was Jay
–jk Jay was actually a life guard tho. 😎😍
one time I went to a restaurant with my friends and long story short I accidentally ate a piece of crab meat which sent me into anaphylactic shock. The EMT that came to save my silly life was really (and I mean really) attractive which made me all embarrassed and grumpy that I was literally dying from eating something I shouldn't have and he looked me right in the eye and said "Don't be crabby."
I want to marry this man.
He proposes with "don't be crabby, I'll spend my life with you".
Jay has left the chat
plot twist: The EMT was Jay
–jk Jay was actually a life guard tho. 😎😍
you ended up with the hot lifeguard?
eris is out here livin that y/n life
low key Jay is literally a YA love interest.
Check it:
Birthday within 6 months of mine (almost to the day)
Tall
Blonde
Blue eyed
Athletic figure (Ex-polo player and swimmer)
STRONG
Spent his summers as a life guard/ teaching kids to swim
Loves children
Ridiculously smart
College graduate (Hello Ivy League?)
Studying for Law School
Loves to cook (and it hella good at it)
Loves books and rocking out to music
Is a total nerd when it comes to comic books/fantasy novels/viking sagas
Adventurous
D O O D L E S
LOVES ANIMALS
Like the sweetest guy ever (He's a living breathing Labrador)
Excellent kisser
Totally dorkishly romantic
Writes poetry
Comes from a wealthy ass family
Knows how to blacksmith
My parents love him.
I mean I could go on and on but if I read about a character like Jay I would literally put the book down and burn it.
Jay is a gary stu
And he's dating
Me
ya feel?
Excellent kisser
don't cross that out it's an important detail
adds to his gary stu-ness
you have to be able to say "HiS LiPs CrAsHeD oNtO MiNe AnD oUr ToNgUeS fOuGhT fOr DoMiNaNcE"
The implication isn't PG
This implies that stuff classified as YA is always PG and that's false
Dangggggggg Jay. breathes in in amazement
Dangggggggg Jay. breathes in in amazement
Dom has been giving me slight homosexual vibes these days.
Even though we all know he is the Straightest of the Straights.
