The f in orphans stands for family.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman? You can turn a light bulb off.
And there is one more I'm not going to repeat because it is that dark, but I will give you a hint. It has to do with a zit, a priest, and a girl's face. I'm gonna leave it at that.
dies from the first one
I WAS A ORPHANNNNN XDDDDDDDDD
omg im so sorry
omg im so sorry
XDDD naw i gotta good sense of humor- this shits funny-
omg im so sorry
XDDD naw i gotta good sense of humor- this shits funny-
ya
friends
why are math books relatable
because they have too many problems and no solutions
Just like my life :D
mine has almost unlimited uses.
so say you went somewhere with your friends, and they brought drinks and snacks, etc. you say, "did one of you bring a buttfor?"
"whats a Buttfor?"
"pooping, of course!"
apparently my dad was trying to get me with that one since I was four years old–
I only fell into his trap when I was around 11-12.
spell iCup.
I-c-u-p.
what do you call a trans cat?
nyan-binary
what do you call a trans cat?
nyan-binary
blink
what do you call a trans cat?
nyan-binaryblink
haha, get it? like… non-binary?… but… a japanese cat…. cuz they say nyan instead of meow?
what do you call a trans cat?
nyan-binaryblink
haha, get it? like… non-binary?… but… a japanese cat…. cuz they say nyan instead of meow?
I get it- its just I see non binary as separate from trans- cause they don’t fit into the gender binary-
ANYWAYS sorry XD
Oh gosh I have a whole word doc for these
One sec
I was addicted to the hokey pokey…but I turned myself around.
I don't trust stairs. They are always up to something.
When I was a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.
We all know about Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole's Law? It's thinly sliced cabbage.
Did you hear about the invention that allows us to see through walls? They’re called windows.
A friend of mine didn't pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
There's only one thing I can't deal with, and that's a deck of cards glued together.
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it's full of blades.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He's an extremely aggressive janitor.
My son's fourth birthday was today. When he came to see me, I didn't recognize him at first. I had never seen him be four.
I recently went to the "World's Tiniest Wind Turbine" exhibit. Honestly, not a big fan.
I was out on a walk when I saw a sign that said, "Man wanted for robbery." So I went in and applied for the job.
How long should socks be? Twelve inches, so you can fit in one foot.
I'm reading a novel where the main character has strained the muscles around his spine. That's his back story.
What do you call someone who always states the obvious? Someone who always states the obvious.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
You can't plant flowers if you haven't botany.
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house, but the kids still get in.
What does "idk" stand for? Everyone I ask says, "I don't know."
Why was the pig covered in ink? Because it lived in a pen.
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escaped from the zoo? It was otter chaos.
What did the skeleton order with its drink? A mop.
In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
If you see a robbery at an Apple store, does that make you an iWitness?
My dog accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles. I think this could spell disaster.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I had a date last night. It was perfect. Tomorrow, I'll try a grape.
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two: One to screw it in most of the way and another to give it a surprise twist at the end.
Okay, these are actually good jokes. These have transcended 'dad joke' categorization. They're just some dang good puns.
uh, cinna? im pretty sure you posted all those on the previous page lol
uh, cinna? im pretty sure you posted all those on the previous page lol
I did?
Oh shoot I did
Sorry guys!
all good, i liked reading it twice anyways
What the difference between a Teacher and a large cheese pizza? A large cheese pizza can feed a family of four
What’s heavier, 1kg of steel or 1kg of feathers? It’s the feathers, because if you try to pick up 1kg of steel that’s just a piece of metal but if you try to pick up 1kg of feathers you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds