forum Anyone want a British friend? https://www.notebook.ai/forum/general-chat/did-you-know-lostboy2
Started by Deleted user
tune

people_alt 113 followers

@kat_i_am

Okay so
I had two crushes.
Still have one of them (on a boy named Caeden he's an absolute sweetheart. Also my best friend).
But the other was on a nonbinary person, whose name I'll change for their privacy. Taylor.
I've known them both for about six months. Met them both on the same dating app. My story with Caeden is cute though, I'll tell it if you want it. But this latest bit is about Taylor.
So Taylor has been crushing hard on me for six months. But first I was dating this other boy, Mitchell, and then when I broke up with Mitchell, I chose to not get with Taylor because I didn't like them enough to LDR (this was right when I was moving home from school). And right as I was leaving, things started to actually kick off with Caeden. So for like two, three months, Taylor is trying to get over me (at my request, and they said they were pretty much over me), and I'm talking about and with Caeden a lot.
But about two weeks ago or so, I get a resurgence of feelings for Taylor. And they're like, all over this. So we're flirting and stuff (bc I'm not in any relationship, I can flirt with whomever I dang well please) and it gets to the point where I'm like,,, seriously considering a relationship with Taylor. I mean, they've been asking for months, and I'm lonely, and Caeden isn't gonna be ready to be in a relationship till I'm back in Utah. So I talk with Taylor, and they're like yes I am totally fine with an open, loose LDR with you. "I'd wait for you for centuries." "It's better to have loved and lost than to never love at all." Saying all sorts of emotionally manipulative stuff like that.
SO for like a DAY, we're in a loose relationship. But the next morning, we call on the phone, and they're like "yo I'm struggling with a lot of internalized homophobia and this relationship." And then we don't talk p much the whole day bc they're at work. But they call me that evening (this is monday night, I think), and just tell me it's not gonna work out, dumping me, giving me nO REASONS.
So I do the logical thing and text them later asking why it won't work. And they're like "tired of competing for your affections." and I'm just like what the heck you had them.
A tad of context: Caeden got jealous and asked me on a digital date (bc we're several states apart) Sunday night, and since it was an OPEN LOOSE relationship with Taylor I said yes, and then told Taylor in the spirit of honesty. But like,,,,,,, I had told them I wasn't ready for a committed relationship with one person.
But continuing, we got into a fight and they did a lot more emotionally manipulative and toxic crap (including bringing up stuff from weeks previous that I had no idea was an issue, but they were like I'm upset with you about this) and I'm like dude I'm not a mind reader you have to freaking communicate with me.
And then we stopped talking bc it was late at night.
So the next day, I text an apology because even though they're being toxic and crap, I lashed out and I was gonna apologize, right?
And we talk for like an hour, and they're like yeah I hope we can still be friends and I'm like mmmmmm idk about that. And I cite my reasons for not wanting to be friends (emotional manipulation, toxicity, emotional drain of relationship). AND THEN
WAIT FOR IT
they start threatening (TW)

and after another hour of trying to talk them out of it, I have to just stop. So I text them that again, this situation is causing me a lot of harm, I don't appreciate being emotionally manipulative

, and I'm gonna distance myself for a few days.
all they said was 'k'.
I checked their IG story the next morning, they posted so they didn't do it.
But I honestly don't know if I ever want to re-establish contact.

@WriteOutofTime

wow. emotional manipulation is NEVER okay, you were clear with them from the start and they turned around and manipulated you. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
smh people are toxic sometimes

@WriteOutofTime

block and ignore, they need to sort themselves out
like immediately
threatening such drastic things is never ever ever okay.
they need serious help

@kat_i_am

I know, but the issue is they can't get it. They literally cannot afford it, and they're practically estranged from family

I've unfollowed them on social media at least, and deleted/archived conversations

@kat_i_am

yeah
and like
I was trying to talk them out of it but they were so resistant and continually toxic and I was like dude I obviously can't help you any more

@WriteOutofTime

it's definitely not your responsibility to fix this person
they are an adult
if they can't see the error in their ways that's on them

@kat_i_am

They also like
totally didn't take ownership of their actions
they were like "I was following my heart and it was lying to me for the past six months!!!"
like dude
just admit you're a f-ing mess and don't know yourself well enough and you just wrapped me up in your mess

@WriteOutofTime

yeah no, they clearly are using you as a way to release some of their emotional turbulence
which is in fact messy
and toxic
and gross

@kat_i_am

It just really bugs me that like,,,, they were practically begging me for a relationship for like six months and when I finally gave in they were like "huh, not ideal" and dumped me after like 36 hours without a solid reason, u kno?

@kat_i_am

yeah no, they clearly are using you as a way to release some of their emotional turbulence
which is in fact messy
and toxic
and gross

that's such a good way to put it, using me to release emotional turbulence

@WriteOutofTime

there are so many people literally looking for someone they can blame for how bad their life is
even if their life was already bad before they met that person lol