His comment about him looking good in any mirror drew a laugh from her, the sound just slightly weak thanks to the state of fluster she was in. Though, his decisiveness in telling her that she did as well made her heart flutter. "C-cursed mirrors?" She repeated, not to ask for details. He had just said he didn't want to get into that. "I g-guess those would make most people hate mirrors."
"Not cursed in the sense that some supernatural being possessed it a thousand years ago and yadda yadda yadda," he clarified, "More cursed in the sense that I had bad experiences with certain mirrors in my lifetime—mostly embarrassing experiences, but experiences nevertheless." He lifted his head and rose a brow as she kept stuttering. She didn't usually stutter that much, which made it weird, though still endearing.
She released a small breath when he lifted his head, an inaudible sound and generally unnoticeable thing. "Ah. M-makes sense. Embarrassing experiences might be some of the w-worst." Lily was glad the stuttering seemed to be lessening, partly with time and partly because he had moved so that he wasn't speaking in her ear anymore.
He hummed and pressed a kiss to the side of her head, speaking against her hair as he said, "I'm thinking. . . It wouldn't be a proper date if I forced my lady to remain in the clothes she wore the day before. I'm also due for a wardrobe update." He didn't outright say it, but he figured the implication was clear enough. Shopping with Lily would also give him an idea of what she liked, both for clothes and just anything in general. Maybe she had an eye for neat knickknacks; perhaps she adored individual flowers.
Her eyes drifted shut as he kissed the side of her head, a smile flickering onto her lips. "Noble and all, but I can't afford new clothes." She pointed out, almost apologetically. "I would be happy to tag along though, to keep you company." She wrapped her free arm around herself for something to do with it, careful not to disrupt his hand.
"Not to worry. As your noble date, it's on me. You can make it up to me some other time, not necessarily with money." He looked down at her, almost worriedly despite the easy-going tone he had set when making his statement. He didn't want to make it seem like she was in need of handouts, but he also wanted to do something for her on this sorta-date.
"Not necessarily with money." Her eyes snapped open a bit too quickly, despite her attempts to remind herself that wasn't what he had meant. Right? "And what exactly do you mean by that? How do you suggest I pay you back?" She asked, her posture just a bit too stiff now.
Rhydar immediately let go and backed up, sensing he had said something wrong. It took only a split second later to realize how his last statement could've been interpreted. "That's not what I meant, Lily," he said softly, his chest twisting with guilt. That reaction… A muscle in his cheek feathered as he clenched his jaw. He could connect most of the dots he had been given to come up with a ballpark guess.
“I-I know. I’m sorry, I just-“ Lily shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself as she turned to look at him, avoiding his eyes. “I keep trying to remind myself, but…” It’s too ingrained to get rid of that easily. “I’m sorry.” She repeated, closing her eyes and taking in a shaky breath. “I’m trying.” The words were whispered so quietly that they’d be hard for anyone to pick up, but audible enough.
His eyes softened with sadness at seeing her like this. He wanted to reach out and hold her close as he whispered, "I know baby. I know." Whoever did this to you is going to pay. I promise you that. Someone had scarred Lily to the point where it was a fight to simply embrace someone and make her think he wanted to use her to his own gain. He would never, but that doesn't mean someone else would gladly take the chance to do such a blasphemous thing to such a sweet and amazing woman.
He wished he could erase all the hurt in her past. However much the progress she's made so far, it would never be the same for her. She'd always have the memories—the lingering ghost of her trauma. No amount of patience and time would erase all that.
Well, there was one option, but he doubted Lily would want to do it.
"Can I-?" She unwrapped her arms, one coming up to trace the brand on the back of her neck, as she pointed at the door to the bathroom with the other. "I-I should be fine in a minute." She said, as though that was what he was worried about, was how long she would take to collect herself. "I just need-the water helps." Shifting on her feet, she finally met Rhydar's eyes, her own swirling with guilt among the sort of haunted look that only came from going through as much trauma as she had.
He tilted his head towards the bathroom and stepped away another foot, hands sliding into his pockets. "Take as much time as you need." Normally, he would joke about her leaving his rings and piercings alone, but now wasn't the time for jokes. So he just stayed silent and let her work things through—the only thing he knew to do at the moment. He was still figuring her out—figuring the dos and don'ts out.
She forced the corners of her mouth up into a strained smile, her hand reaching towards him for just a moment before she dropped it again. "It's not your fault." She said, her voice quiet as she took a step towards the bathroom. "Don't think it is, please." And then she was slipping into the bathroom, almost going to close the door fully, before pausing and leaving it open a crack. A show of trust, even if it didn't look like much.
Rhydar watched her go with a whispered, "I don't," then groaned and ran his hand over his face, fingers digging into his hair as he turned back and forth, not quite pacing but not sitting still either. Today had been fine up until he had opened his big mouth and triggered something in Lily. He didn't blame her for one second—what had happened to her in the past wasn't up to her—he blamed himself for not being careful. He hadn't been thinking and just spoke.
Lily turned to the sink once in the bathroom, running the water and cupping her hands to catch some. She splashed her face with it, using the shock from the cold and the memories of her sisters doing the same to wake her up, to snap her out of the other memories fogging up her mind. Focus on now. Focus on where you are, who you're with, what you're doing and going to do. Rhydar. She was with Rhydar, who would never hurt her. Rhydar, who held her like she was someone important, someone to be treated with care. At an inn, planning on going out. On a date. That was good to focus on. Going on a date with him, something normal people, normal couples, did.
It took her a bit longer than a minute, but not by much, before she pushed the door open quietly, her eyes searching for Rhydar.
He had his back to her as he was looking out the window, still shirtless, and hunched over as he studied the view outside. He wasn't looking at anything in particular, just clearing his mind of anything that might ruin his mood. His hair was a tad messier than when Lily had retreated into the bathroom thanks to him running his hands through it, and the ring on his pinky finger tapped against the windowsill in a steady rhythm.
She bit her lip, biting back another apology as she approached him. Her footsteps were soft, almost silent, enough so that she spoke a few feet away from him to keep from startling him. "Rhydar." She said softly, letting him know she was there before placing a hand on his arm once she was close enough. She tilted her head, studying him before leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek.
He looked down at Lily with a soft smile, lightly pressing his forehead against hers as his eyes fluttered closed. "I'm taking you shopping before we go strawberry picking," he declared, though not harshly. "Pay me however you wish, or not at all. That's entirely up to you. I should've said that the first time, but I'm a mindless idiot and didn't do that."
She leaned against him slightly, another attempt at showing that she trusted him, and that she was alright now. "I shouldn't have let the voice tell me you meant anything else." She said, apologetically, referring to the voice in the back of her mind, that constantly reminded her of things she wanted to forget. "I really can't convince you to let me keep wearing these, can I?"
A small smile curled at his lips as he opened his eyes to look at her. "No. You can't. My sole job is to make today the best date ever, so I'm taking you shopping and getting you whatever your heart desires, going strawberry picking, and then some other adventures that I'm keeping a secret." His smile grew as he lifted his head and pressed a loving kiss to the side of her head, his hand coming up to cup her cheek as he did so. "I'm glad you're okay," he whispered.
"I'm with you. That chases most of the bad things away on it's own." She whispered back, leaning into his hand as she met his eyes. "It sounds like you've got quite the day planned. Are you sure it's alright that I can't pay you back right away?" She asked, arching an eyebrow in question, her nose still scrunched from him kissing her head.
His lips curled up into a smile as he mouthed 'awwww' in response to her saying that just being with him was enough to get rid of some of the bad things on her mind. "Yes, I'm sure. Positive. It's my mission to make you happy today, so I'm going to do that to the best of my ability. You paying me back is the last thing I'm worried about."
"Alright. I'll do my best to as soon as I can, but thank you." She turned her head, pressing her lips to his palm and lingering there as she spoke again. "This'll be fun. I haven't been shopping in a while, and spending time with you is nice." She said sweetly, smiling against his palm before pulling away just enough to turn and look at him again.
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before dropping his hand to hook his fingers around her wrist. His eyes darted around her face, simply studying her as if he could engrave every detail into his mind. Really, he had done this very thing so many time he wouldn't be surprised if her face was permanently etched into his mind.
He did that a lot, she noticed. Watched her like that, like he was trying to commit her face to memory. It was odd, to her, because she really didn't think she had a face worth looking at that much, let alone studying. Her cheeks tinged a light pink, she tilted her head, raising an eyebrow. "Is there something on my face?" She asked innocently, her thumb tapping on his hand.