It took Lily a moment to register that Rhydar was moving, tensing out of habit until he stilled. The fear was still fresh in her mind, the darkness surrounding her and pushing, closer and closer to her like hands, grabbing at her hips and waist and thighs-
She wasn't sure when she had begun to move, but when her thoughts caught up to her, she was scooting closer to Rhydar, closing the distance he had left between them. Maybe that was what she had been missing. The nightmares had always left her hollow and terrified, scared of every noise and shadow movement, but she had never had someone who's presence comforted her there after them. Healing the after effects. After a split second of hesitation, she laid back down, this time turned towards Rhydar somewhat. And her head resting on his back. The shaking eased, slowly disappearing completely with the comfort his presence brought her. She would apologize in the morning. For waking him up, and for worrying him, if she had read the movement right. But for now, she was just glad he was here.
Rhydar tensed slightly when he felt her head find its way onto his back. He hadn't expected her to move closer to him, let alone use him as a pillow. That wasn't to say he was complaining, but it was just unexpected and he was unprepared.
Instead of saying anything—he didn't dare shatter the silence—he sought out her wrist and hooked two fingers around it, holding her as best as he could out of comfort. It was the most he could offer, besides his presence, and he wanted to make sure she was okay. The memory he had just woken up from wasn't anything new, and he was long past that loss. Now…now it was about making sure Lily's past got burned and buried, and her future began to look like blooming flowers and gleaming strawberries.
Rhydar's fingers finding Lily's wrist eased the worry that had appeared when he'd tensed, and she let out a small breath, curling just a bit close to him. He was warm, too, chasing off the chills that still lingered from her dream. A thank you was in order too. She wasn't sure how he managed to do it without saying anything, but the fear and residual feeling of hands on her skin faded the more time passed just laying there.
Rhydar didn't move, but he welcomed Lily's presence as she curled against him just a bit. His eyes closed once again, though he knew he wouldn't fall back asleep until he was sure she was sleeping soundly. He didn't know what had caused her to get so distressed, but he was determined to keep whatever it was away from her, as if his closeness to her alone would be enough to chase away whatever plagued her at night. At that thought, his fingers moved so he was silently offering to hold her hand, as he knew she liked doing that.
Lily's eyes were drifting shut again just as Rhydar's fingers moved, the same way he had before when offering his hand to hold. She weaved her fingers through his without a second thought. Giving his hand a squeeze was the closest thing to a thank you she could manage, without breaking the quiet peace that had become the perfect sanctuary. Like her demons couldn't reach her now that she had Rhydar's comfort. Safe.
Rhydar held onto her hand, offering a silent promise that he wouldn't leave her or let her go—tonight or ever. She seemed more relaxed than before, which was good. He wouldn't ask her about what had woke her up unless she looked like she needed to talk about it in the morning. For now, they both kept the comforting bubble of silence around them, simply using each other as a way to ease their worries and nightmares.
Don't let go. It was the last full and conscious thought Lily had before drifting off into sleep, Rhydar's scent carrying her off and wrapping around her like it's owner loved to do. Comforting and safe, the perfect two things to help her fall asleep. A dreamless sleep, thankfully. As though her mind had decided it had put her through enough for the night. The hand that wasn't holding Rhydar's curled up, almost like a fist, but more resembling the paws of a kitten. Even her other hand followed suit, though not quite as obviously, thanks to the fingers laced through hers.
Rhydar heard her breathing evening out and waited a minute to make sure she was truly asleep. The wait didn't last long, however, when he felt her hand curl slightly in his. He opened his eyes and checked on her, though his slight worry melted into a soft smile when he saw what she was doing in her seemingly peaceful sleep. "Adorable as always, Lily darling," he murmured, voice just barely a whisper so as to not wake the sleeping flower using him as a pillow.
His eyes closed once again, and his thumb started running in circles over her hand in a soothing pattern. The repetitive movement and the soft skin beneath his, combined with her flowery scent and comforting presence helped him drift off once again. His sleep wasn't dreamless, but it was much happier than before. Pure white, glittering gold, streaks of green. Lights. Music. Trees and flowers. Dancing.
Lily wasn't sure what woke her. Maybe the sunlight filtering in through the window was the cause, or maybe her mind just decided it was time. What she was sure of, though, was that waking up cuddled close to Rhydar and using him as a pillow…wasn't the worst thing. Waking up to being held by a man was something that, at one point, would have sent her into a state of panic. But finding herself this close to Rhydar almost felt..right.
Covering her yawn with her free hand and a bit surprised to find Rhydar still holding her hand, her memories from last night filtered back, like filling in the blanks in a half finished crossword puzzle. Her nightmare, the dark, and Rhydar being there for her. Rhydar. Careful not to wake him up, she shifted, sitting up and gazing fondly down at him. He looked so peaceful sleeping, she would be happy to stay like this forever. In the early morning quiet, with the man who held her heart in his hands, and didn't seem to realize it.
The blanket had slipped down, covering his legs but leaving his back in full view. The tattoos caught her eye and her fingers lightly traced the the detailed feathers of the wings, feather-light in an attempt not to wake him.
Rhydar stirred somewhat when he felt something touching his back—or, more specifically, his tattoo. He didn't open his eyes or move beyond the slight shiver he had gotten in reaction to the finger tracing his tattoo. It took him only a few seconds to realize it was Lily, and a few more to realize that she had discovered his tattoo. The one hiding the evidence of his biggest secret.
Her feather-light touch was incredibly ticklish, but also strangely nice. He had a feeling it was the only remnant of his wings that he had—the damned sensitivity. He usually refrained from letting people touch his back for that sole reason, but he made Lily the exception.
“So pretty, and so sad.” Lily whispered, her voice barely audible even in the quiet. It might’ve been the blood red ink, but something about the tattoo felt sad, like the inked memoirs to lost loved ones she had seen in sailors before. Her finger continued it’s light tracing, mapping out the feathers gently, their owner unaware that she had accidentally woken Rhydar.
He had to bite his tongue to keep from saying anything, though the chills couldn't be stopped as she traced over the individual feathers. You have no idea, he thought sadly, then had a passing thought suggesting he give her an explanation behind the tattoo. He felt bad once again as he brushed the thought away, but he silently promised to give her the meaning behind it if she asked.
It took her a moment to notice the change in his breathing, and her finger stilled when she did. She had woken him up, hadn’t she? Despite trying not to. “I’m-I'm sorry, did I wake you?” She asked quietly, moving to pull her hand away after a moment. “I didn’t-I was curious. About your tattoos….”
He groaned, letting go of her hand finally, and rolled over while stretching, pulling a face at her apology. "I'm a light sleeper," he said, opening his eyes and looking up at Lily, now on his back. "A fly could buzz the wrong way and I would wake up." He tilted his head back to look at her better. "It's fine, Lily. You can ask me."
She looked slightly embarrassed anyway, reaching up to rub the back of her neck. Her hair was, quite frankly, a mess, but she seemed unaware of that. “I-…you don’t have to answer, you know. But I was wondering…what they mean. Why you have them.” Her voice was soft, and the expression on her face made it obvious she meant it when she said he didn’t have to answer, despite her curiosity.
Rhydar let out a breath and pushed himself up so he was sitting next to Lily, a hand running through his hair. Actually, telling her would be harder than he thought. But maybe I don't have to… He smiled grimly and held out a hand, which rested on her leg and faced palm-up. "It's better if I show you."
She frowned slightly, furrowing her brows and hesitantly placing her hand in his. Show me? “Rhydar, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” She repeated, pressing her shoulder to his and staying there.
He huffed a laugh and wrapped his fingers around her hand. "Trust me, that's kinda what I'm doing at the moment." He pressed a kiss to her cheek and closed his eyes, preventing her from seeing them turn a solid milky white. With his hand connected to hers, he gently pulled her subconscious towards his through the bridge he created with the contact. They both pulled away from reality, and Rhydar carved away a place in his mind for Lily to see the old and buried memory he uncovered for her.
It was through Rhydar's eyes did they see him, standing before a large mirror and smiling brightly. His green eyes were somehow lighter and brighter than today, untainted in their youth. He was 16 years old, devoid of most of his jewelry save for the studs in his ears.
But that wasn't the focal point. Everywhere around the reflected Rhydar was hazy and streaked with blurred color. The expansive wings behind Rhydar were what he brought their attention to, held up high and proud as young Rhydar admired them in the large mirror. In the lighting of this specific memory, the raven black wings had a golden tint to them, especially along the edges of each feather. It wasn't enough to throw it all off, but just enough to enhance their beauty by a slight bit.
She opened her mouth to tell him, once again, that she would be fine with not knowing, but was cut off as a completely different Rhydar was suddenly in front of her. Younger. And with wings. Wings. The tattoos made sense, then. Or at least, mostly, because what had happened to the wings?
Oh. She didn't want to imagine that, or even think about it, but the voice in the back of her mind whispered the words anyway. They're gone now. How do you lose a limb? There weren't many ways to, and each of them was a horrible thought.
"That's a story for another time," Rhydar whispered to Lily in a far away voice, back in the world of reality. He didn't linger on the memory for long, and he was blinking away the past and letting go of Lily to sever the connection. It always took him a bit to come back completely, so he turned his face away from her to hide his seemingly blind eyes.
"So yeah, that's what they're for. The tattoos. I lost them, which is what the compass behind the wings is for." His voice was soft as he spoke, face still turned away and his sight and mind split between the past and present.
Lily's voice was barely there as she spoke, once she had shook off the disorientation at returning to reality. "Oh." More like a breath of air than a word. "I'm-I'm sorry. For asking, and just…in general." Oddly enough, she found herself unable to draw together the words she wanted to use, instead lifting her hand to touch his shoulder. She paused, just before touching him, as though unsure if she could. He had used contact to show her the memory, and she wasn't sure how long he needed.
He shook his head, then rubbed his hands over his face and eyes, throwing his head back. "No. No, you're fine. Gods, I hate the aftereffects," he muttered in a disgruntled manner, dropping his hands and frantically blinking. His eyes were a pale green where the irises were peaking through the milky haze, and gray where his pupils were. He huffed a laugh. "Serves me right for not using it enough." He was avoiding the serious issue, that was clear, but that was Rhydar for you—worried about others but ignoring his own issues.
"Is there anything I can get you to help with the aftereffects?" She asked, deciding against touching him for the moment and lowering her hand. Instead, she slid out from under the blanket, which she was barely under anyway, looking to the bathroom door. "Water?" She shook her head, frowning. "I haven't even asked if you're okay. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I promise," he tried to reassure her, reaching out to her out of instinct to stop her from fussing over him. "I just need a bit to reorient myself. I don't usually use my abilities, let alone on myself. Slight adjustment." He closed his eyes and rubbed at them again after pulling his arm away from Lily, remembering not to touch her at the moment. After a few more seconds, his emerald eyes were back and he was giving her a 'See? I'm fine' look.
Even with his reassurances, her worried frown didn't ease until his eyes were back to normal. She had never seen an ability like that in use, so to put it simply, it was strange and concerning. "Are you sure? And are you-is it alright if I…?" She trailed off, not quite sure how to phrase what it was she wanted to do. She wasn't even quite sure herself. Maybe squeeze his shoulder?
