His smile brightened slightly as he gently and playfully nudged her. "No convincing needed," he said, dropping his hand to his side but keeping it open for her to grab. He couldn't brush off her apology as he usually would've, because he had been worried. It also struck him that she was asking him for permission as if he were the one that wasn't good with physical contact.
She smiled up at him, lowering her hand to intertwine their fingers happily. "Just making sure." She said, shaking her head with a small and huffed laugh. Knowing what having issues with touch and having strong boundaries was like made her just a bit more wary. Like she was almost scared, that she'd become the kind of person that had done that to her.
Rhydar's smile grew slightly as he leaned in for another kiss to the side of her head, now well aware of how she felt about those kinds of kisses. "Come on, let's head on over to the stables. You can visit Danzing again." He had considered having her go on another horse, but the strawberry gardens were a little ways away and it'd be faster if they traveled together on the same horse. Of course, if she wasn't okay with that, then he'd always get her her own horse for the trip.
Lily brightened, at both the second kiss and the mention of Danzing. She'd managed to get out to the stables once, since last time, and had been planning to make it a regular thing to go and see the stallion. Any excuse was fine by her, though. "Alright, alright. Lead the way then, dear." She said, shaking her head slightly and squeezing his hand. It took a moment for the affectionate term to register, bringing color to her cheeks as she bit her lip, looking away.
He would've let the term of endearment go had she not reacted the way she did to it upon her realization. A slow grin spread over his lips, and he bit down on his bottom lip to suppress it as best as he could. As always, her blush was beyond adorable. He lightly squeezed her hand and leaned over so that he was whispering directly into her ear, voice low so no one but Lily could hear. "Will do, dear," he murmured, putting a slight emphasis on dear.
Lily's eyes widened slightly, the color in her cheeks deepening at the returned name. The proximity of his mouth to her ear didn't help much, and her heart fluttered slightly, something she'd noticed only really happened with Rhydar. Dear. She'd called him dear, and he hadn't laughed, or acted weirded out by it. Instead, he'd called her it in return, and that both flustered her and made her incredibly happy. "U-um-" Apparently, her flusteredness was going to show itself the most, in shredding any words before they could leave her lips.
((Sorry, I randomly started fucking with a song))
Rhydar pressed a kiss to the skin between her neck and shoulder, lips still curled into a smile, and pulled back. "Use your words, Lily darling," he said, purposefully using 'darling' to make her even more flustered. He couldn't help himself, an unfortunate habit he had a hard time breaking, even for Lily.
Lily let out a small and startled sound as Rhydar kissed her shoulder, blinking in surprise. The use of the word 'darling' just served to fluster her more, which was definitely his goal, but was something she had been hoping to avoid. She lifted her free hand, covering the lower half of her face in an attempt to hide her blush. "W-what-" She paused for a moment. "Er, th-then we should g-get going…"
With a soft chuckle, Rhydar let go of her hand and hooked his fingers around her wrist—his form of a hug for her, now—and grinned. "There you go," he cooed, then gently tugged her just a tad closer to him. He leaned forward as if he was going to start walking, but was mainly attempting to see past her hand and at the blush she was desperately trying to hide from him.
Lily waited until he seemed to be about to start walking, before doing so herself. Her heart had fluttered when he'd pulled her closer, most definitely not out of fear, but she was a bit too preoccupied with attempting to will her blush down to pay it much attention. Her hand shifted slightly, just enough for her blush to be a bit more visible.
His gaze and smile softened at the sight of her blush, and he couldn't help but stare for a few more seconds. This woman was the best thing to ever happen to him, and he couldn't seem to get enough of the little things about her. How flustered she got over the simplest of things he did or said to her. How happy ordinary things made her, such as a kiss on the forehead or strawberry picking.
He lifted his head slightly and looked ahead, though his smile didn't waver as he said, "You're adorable," in a soft and gentle voice, no mocking present.
“You’re adorable.”
That had been completely unexpected, and Lily’s stumble made that obvious. She blinked a few times, chewing on her bottom lip as she absorbed that, before looking over at Rhydar. He thought she was adorable. Had he said that before? Probably, but it was still just as surprising.
He didn’t see her as an item. He didn’t see her as her legs, her lips, her hair and body and what she could do to please him. She was Lily, just Lily, and he seemed perfectly happy with that. And that made her happy in so many more ways than she could express, though the happiness and gratitude and slight embarrassment shining in her odd eyes did a good enough job. “I-really don’t see how?”
It shouldn't have been possible, but his smile and gaze softened even more as he looked over at Lily. With his grip on her wrist, he silently brought her to an empty hallway. When they were alone, he pressed his back against the wall and pulled her in front of him, then gently cupped her cheeks and dipped his head down to look her in her eyes, his green ones shining despite the shadowed hall.
"I know you don't really believe me," he said in a low and gentle voice, "but I promise you that you're more than what you've been led to believe. You're smart," he kissed her forehead, "and kind. So precious and adorable, in the best way possible. Hardworking and genuine." His thumb brushed over her cheek, fingers finding stray hairs and lightly messing with them. His head was tilted, and his gaze seemed to pierce through her as he spoke. "Can't forget beautiful, either, but that's not what I…" His voice dropped to a whisper, and he avoided her gaze as he said, "love the most about you."
It took her a moment to register Rhydar's movement of pulling her toward him, but by the time she had, her eyes were wide. And then he was talking, his voice softer than she'd ever heard it, and his words themselves somehow even softer. "Smart." and "Kind." and "Precious.", all strange and foreign but heartwarming, and then-
"…but that's not what I…love the most about you."
Despite reminding herself that he absolutely hadn't meant the word in that way, Lily couldn't help the way it bounced around in her mind, or how she found herself imagining what it would be like to hear him say it that way. She had leaned into his touch at some point, her eyes on his and searching, as though looking for some trace of a lie, a sign that all of this might be fake. And she didn't find one. Real. This was real, Rhydar and the things he was saying and the gentle way he was holding her. She didn't deserve any of it, but she wanted it so much.
"It-I feel like I'm dreaming." Lily whispered, one hand coming up to trace his jawline before settling at the base of his neck, where it met the shoulder, her finger lightly matching time with his pulse. "Like you're too amazing to be real, to really actually care about all of those things. And me."
He didn't know how she'd react to his next move, but it was just how he was in moments like this one.
Rhydar slowly—slowly—slipped his hands down to her upper back, loosely wrapping his arms around her while avoiding her waist as his head bent forward to rest on her shoulder, his eyes fluttering closed. He didn't pull her into him, simply held her and gave her space to back away. "I mean it, Lily," he breathed, "Every word. I care about you a lot, and I always will."
He paused, breathing in her unique scent for a few seconds before whispering, "And if this is a dream…I don't ever want to wake up. I'd be lost without you and the light you bring with your smiles. I wouldn't have someone to help me through paperwork and make it enjoyable. There'd be no days of strawberry picking. I'd never think about a future as a farmer with an amazing wife, stealing the neighbor's chicken eggs and tending to the grumpy stallion. I'd never have you by my side." He took a small but shuddering breath, eyes closing fully. "And it'd kill me."
Lily blinked as Rhydar's arms wrapped around her, stilling as he dropped his head to her shoulder. A promise. That's what each of his words sounded like to her. A promise that he really did care, and in a way, a promise that he was real. Promises were something she'd been terrified of, since the last one she'd made. Her last 'We'll meet up at the bakery', the last promise she had broken.
Maybe it was time for a new promise.
"You….wouldn't want to wake up." She repeated, as though she couldn't quite wrap her head around it without hearing it again. That shuddering breath…was he about to cry? Over her? "I'm not-I'm not going anywhere." Her voice was quiet, as she tilted her head to lean it against his, still tapping along to his pulse. It was soothing, real and there. He was there. "Promise. Dream or not, I promise." A farm. Together. Us and a future together, with everything we could need.
He released a breath he didn't know he was holding, pressing a featherlight kiss to her shoulder and not making a move to back away from her. He knew she heard him, and he silently cursed himself for dropping all of his walls at that moment. But…he strangely didn't mind Lily seeing him like this. Her words comforted him—probably more than she realized—and just for that, he pressed a kiss to her shoulder again, but a tad closer to her neck than last time.
He loved being so close to Lily, with her in his arms and not backing away. He was aware it would be short-lived, but he was determined to enjoy it while he could. He could smell her flowery scent, and he smiled. Of course she would smell like flowers. "Just know…" he eventually said, "I'd let you go if you wanted to."
The kisses, on her shoulder and so close to her neck, sent her heart into a mess of fluttering. She felt vulnerable, so much more vulnerable than she was used to being, not since she'd gotten free. But it wasn't…the worst type of vulnerable. Because even though she felt like there was nothing to hide behind here, she still felt safe. With Rhydar.
"I know." And she did. She knew if she asked, if she even tensed, he would let go immediately. "Don't-don't let go quite yet." I want this to be normal. I want this to be able to happen, without me having to let go. I don't want you to have to let go. The hand that wasn't already tapping along to his pulse found itself against his chest, not to push him away, but to hold him the best she could. For as long as she could. I'm going to make this work. Us. I'm going to make us work, because you deserve more.
His fingers traced over her upper back, idle swirls and patterns. He didn't pull back, as per her request, and he was slightly glad she asked him to stay. The longer he held her, the more relaxed he felt, though he did keep slight space between them for her sake. It was a balance between them—how much she can stand and how far he can push.
His breathing evened out, no trace of the shuddering breaths from earlier. For now, all he cared about was Lily. Her touch, her words, the feel of her in his embrace. He was dimly aware of the sounds outside of the shadowy hall, but no one disturbed them, and he was glad of that. He was far from embarrassed of Lily, but he was in no mood to deal with questions right now.
While she kept one ear on the sounds outside the hallway, most of her focus was on Rhydar, as his breathing evened out along with his pulse. While she didn't quite understand it, she knew that Rhydar's reputation was important to him, and this was entirely the opposite of how he normally presented himself. And since it was important to him, it was to her too.
"Rhydar?" Her voice was soft when she spoke, more to avoid drawing attention from the people passing by just a few feet away than anything else. She sounded…peaceful. And she felt peaceful, too, even if she wasn't sure how much time had passed exactly, and how much longer she would be able to let him hold her. "Are you…alright?"
He moved, his hands sliding to her arms to lightly hold her as he lifted his head and pressed a quick kiss to her neck, then a lingering kiss to her cheek. "Never better," he murmured, then pulled back slightly, still gently holding her arms. He cast a quick look over towards the people milling about, a fleeting look of what might've been anger passing over his features before he looked down at Lily.
He opened his mouth, closed it, then finally said, "Sorry, I just…" he sighed and gave her a sheepish and lopsided smile, "I needed to. Mainly for you, but…yeah…I'm slightly selfish." He had originally meant to only talk to her, but he also couldn't express everything without that hug. At least it came with the bonus of being able to hug her.
Her neck, she was finding, was a sure fire way to get her blushing quickly. The color painting her cheeks made that obvious, no matter how much she would have liked to hide it by ducking her head. She hadn't missed the look that had passed over his face as he'd looked to the end of the hall, but a glance up at his face showed no trace of it. He would tell her if he wanted to though.
"It's alright." She thanked whatever gods were watching over her for allowing her to withhold the stutter that usually followed little things like that. "We all have to be a little selfish sometimes, right? Besides, I was-am, I am, fine with it."
His eyes lit up when he saw the blush swiftly bloom over her cheeks, and he had a sneaking suspicion it was because of the quick kiss he planted on her neck. And once again, he was reminded of how adorable she was when flustered, and he fully intended to take advantage of that little bit.
"I'm glad," he said, managing to keep his smirk off his face as he reached up and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. His other hand let go of her arm, releasing her and giving her the space she needs to catch her breath again.
She tilted her head slightly, leaning into his touch as his fingers brushed her cheek and blissfully unaware of the scheming he was doing. She shifted back just a tiny bit, to give herself a moment, while still holding onto him. Though that uncomfortable feeling was still there, it wasn't as bad as it normally got. Her breathing stayed even, and the main thing that seemed wrong was just the blush coloring her cheeks. And that was more an inconvenience and embarrassment for her.
Before he retracted his hand, Rhydar brushed his fingers over the rosy tint on her cheeks, a cheeky smile on his lips as he said, "Have I told you how much I like your blush? It's so cute, especially on you." His fingers just barely brushed her lips as he let go of her, though he did reach up to hook his fingers around her wrist. It was very nearly a habit now, he's done it with her so much—practically automatic when he was in the position to hold her but didn't want to cross boundaries.