Kieran blinked. "His…I don't know. Tell his husband the truth. They both deserve that much. Tell him that…your friend would have died anyway, and you saved him from a lingering, slow death. And maybe his husband will hate you for a while. Maybe he won't be able to forgive you for a while. But either way, you won't feel quite as guilty." He replied, gently rubbing her back.
I'll still feel just as guilty. It was my fault I had to end his suffering in the first place. Elara shuddered with another silent sob, nodding against his shoulder. "I'll-send a letter. Or tell him myself when we make it back. Yeah, that-I'll tell him. In person." Her voice was still wobbling, and at this point, her shaking could have been any number of things. Exhaustion, guilt and the receding shock, blood loss, pain.
"Alright." Kieran replied, slowly letting go of her, but keeping his arms around her lightly. "I know that it hurts to lose a friend like this. But we need to stay focused, or else we won't survive." He told her softly.
"Right. Yeah, there are-more important things." Elara nodded, pulling back just enough to wipe at her eyes. She winced, the pain in her arm an acute reminder that she needed to get the bullet out of her shoulder.
"Not more important, just more pressing." He replied quietly. In truth, he had no idea what she was feeling, as he himself had never felt anything close to it. But he knew that he needed to keep her calm, otherwise…he didn't know what would happen.
"More important." She disagreed, pulling away completely and motioning to his leg. "Like keepin' you alive. It's the best I can do." With that, she slipped off her jacket and hoodie, her diadem glinting in the moonlight as she tied her hair back. "Help me get this bullet out real quick, would ya?"
He shrugged. He had already bound up his leg. He sighed softly, and nodded. "Sure. What do you need me to do?" turning to her, he raised his eyebrows, wondering what she wanted him to do. Did she want him to actually pull the bullet out, or…what? Strands of dark hair hung into his face, as he hadn't had time to pull it back yet, so it simply hung in black and white curls.
"Pull…the bullet out?" She said, tilting her head as she looked up at him. "I got tweezers in here somewhere, gimme a second." She dug around her jacket pockets, pulling out a small pair of tweezers and handing them to him. "There, tha' should keep the mess and damage less messy and damagin'. If I leave the bullet in too long, the wound's gonna start mendin' and it'll hurt like a bitch t' get out then."
Kieran nodded. "Alright. Can you hold still on your own, or should I pin you down?" he asked, looking at her. He reached up and tied back his hair, looking at her while he did so.
"Tha' sounds so much like somethin' ya don' mean." Elara commented, shifting to cross her legs and ignoring the slight pain in her ankle. She cut a branch from the willow tree down, placing it in her mouth and biting down before shooting him a thumbs up.
He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure what you mean by that." he replied, picking up the tweezers. Using one hand to stabilize her arm, he balanced his hand and began to slowly fish in the wound for the bullet, expressionless. His lack of emotion was probably helping him right now, as there was less of a chance of him recoiling.
"Sure ya don'." She said through gritted teeth, voice muffled by the branch. Anything else she might have said was cut off by a hiss of pain, and then something like a muffled curse and groan mixed together as he searched for the bullet. "Down and-fuck-to the lef-"
He followed her directions, and pulled the bullet out carefully, setting it down. He ripped another strip off of his shirt and bound the wound tightly. "There. And no, I don't." He replied, looking at her. His orange eyes were emotionless as he looked at her.
"Fucker." She grumbled, about the wound and the pain flashing through her arm. "Where's the bullet?" She held out her good hand, still slightly hunched over and definitely paler than normal.
He picked up the bloodied bullet and plopped it in her palm, finishing binding the wound carefully. He dropped his hands and went and washed them in the creek, his hair messily tied back behind his head.
While rinsing the bullet in the stream, the dead look slowly began returning to Elara. She felt so drained, and trying not to sink into the black hole of her mind was a struggle, to say the least. “Do you have anything else you need help with? Any other injuries?” Please give me something to do. Please.
(hey, just a heads up, im going to California for a few days, so i won't be super active)
Kieran shook his head. "No. I'm alright." He replied, looking over at her. His horns shone lightly in the moonlight, and he shook hisbhead slightly. "We should get some sleep. It will help us have clear heads in the morning." He said, standing and extending a hand to her.
Elara took in a shaky breath, exhaling the same way as she accepted the hand with her good hand. Letting him help her up, she kept her eyes focused on the bullet shell in her hand, the shaking strengthening. "Sleep. I don'-I don' know if I can."
Kieran looked at her. "Your highness, you need to sleep. If you are worried about nightmares…I don't know how to help you with that. But you need to at least try."
"I'm always worried 'bout those. I jus'….don' want t' see him. Not in my dreams." Elara closed her fist around the shell casing, closing her eyes for a moment. "I'll do what I can, I guess."
Kieran sighed softly. "And I don't want to see my previous owners every night. I don't want to see Jalaan and feel his hands. But i do. Now go to sleep." He turned away from her, leaning his head against the tree.
Elara didn’t sit, turning her gaze up at the stars peering through the tree branches instead. She didn’t want to have the same nightmares she always did. Back in that alley and then the small room, or the one where one of her contacts reached her with news of her mother’s body being found. The one where the Shadows took Roman or the sickness took Mack, where Johnson was lost at sea like he had been that one time, but this time he didn’t come back, a shroud did. She didn’t want to see Matthias bleeding out and blaming her. She didn’t want to dream. Instead, she wanted to be angry.
She wanted revenge. And sleep or no sleep, she was going to get it. They won’t get away with this. I’m going to take care of them, and then I’m going to find mom. Her hand clutched her mother’s dagger so tightly her knuckles went white, as she stared up at the night sky that her mother had spent countless nights teaching her about. The sky she was named after, the sky that had served as a guide, and the sky she’d join once she’d died. Quite possibly sooner rather than later.
"Your highness. Please." Kieran said softly. "At least lay down and take the weight off of your ankle." He said, not looking at her. His horns scraped against the bark, leaving a gouge in the tree. He ignored it, sighing softly.
"I- I can't stop. Can't stop thinking." Elara whispered, her eyes still glued to the sky like pulling them away was impossible. "Just ignore me. Go to sleep. I'll sit sometime." But I won't sleep. There was too much on a speed run in her mind for that. Her mind refused to stop racing long enough for her to even register the throbbing pain in her ankle.
"Sit down." Kieran said, tugging on her sleeve to pull her down. "Do you want me to tell you a story or sing or something? Try and help you get your mind off of it?" He asked, still not looking at her.