forum Tell me the weirdest/funniest thing your character has done.

Started October 26, 2019 by @TakeToTheStars

tune

I'm bored and in the mood to laugh, so please share.

It's a sci-fi setting and my bounty hunter Gabe has a buttplug gun for protection if he's ever caught pants down by someone who wants to kill him.
He had this revelation when someone tried to kill him while he was taking a bath and nearly shot his groin off. So now all he has to do is reach down to his cheeks and surprise the shit out of anyone who wants to mess with him.

My story starts out with one of my characters, Crispin, getting into an argument with his father (who he doesn't really get along with all that well to begin with). Things get really heated, and at one point Crispin goes "What are you going to do about it? Kill me?" And you can probably guess where things went from there.

My character, Kodi, goes to his bathroom, takes his body wash and heads to the kitchen. He drizzles it all over his clothes, face and hair and then opens the oven door, carefully puts the body wash in, then closes the door. He sheds a tear as he turns on the heat. As soon as a fire begins he starts laughing maniacally. Then his boyfriend, Haru comes in and screams at the top of his lungs. Then police sirens are heard in the distance. Thanos rushes in by crushing down the door with his head and runs into the kitchen. He too starts laughing maniacally while crying from the onion ninja Namjoon cutting onions in the nearby room. The swat team is called and they get in by rushing in through the wall while each one of them, one at a time, yell out, " Oh yeah!". The swat teams starts t-bagging Haru curled up on the floor screaming higher than Mariah Carey, Ariana Grande and Dimash. The house burns down while Kodi walks out the ashes and laughs maniacally down to Starbucks for an impossible order. Black tea with with whipped cream, watered with coke and Pepsi, then a dash of salt, a big 'ol piece of pepper, sugar, hundreds and thousands, some fairy bread, and sausages.

My story starts out with one of my characters, Crispin, getting into an argument with his father (who he doesn't really get along with all that well, to begin with). Things get really heated, and at one point Crispin goes "What are you going to do about it? Kill me?" And you can probably guess where things went from there.

I had something like that. Where these two characters argue over murdering a criminal. "Explain to me again why Carmichael is bleeding on my new rug?"- "He started it Jaquie. And corpses don't bleed, he finished that a while ago"- "I don't care… A: You didn't have to kill him. B: How did he possibly provoke you into stabbing him?"- "Well, he busted out of the chair, ran for the gun and got it and I pulled out my knife and he said 'What're you gonna do? Stab me?" - "Shame… I really liked this rug." - "It only lasted a day but it really did bring the whole room together."

I believe one of my characters broke a toaster while in an argument then immediately cried after words.

Ayeden once tried to do an assassination by firing a bunch of fireworks at the target even though she had weapons, just to see if she could do it
Spoiler alert, she could not and now has a minor burn scar

This happened in an RP months ago, but my Half-Dragon, Yama, has a habit of eating someone's weapon in front of them. Like, taking the sword out of their hands and crunching on it like it was an icicle as an intimidation tactic. One character he was fighting had a poisoned sword, so he took the sword and spat fire on it to cleanse the blade, and then he broke it and spat it out.
"You idiot! That sword is poisoned!"
"To poison a blade, you either have to dip it in poison or have something within the blade. Either way, it'd have to be refilled! I'm perfectly fine!"
"The sword was forged in poison!"
"That's not how zhat works!"
"It is when a goddess makes it!"
"Well, I thinhk yu're fulla SHTHIT!"
Yama collapses, tongue lolling out the side of his head.

In a scene that I just wrote last night Gerard finds out that one of my other characters has the power of persuasion. This is common knowledge, but Gerard isn't supposed to know. The reason why he doesn't know is because for the past four years this character has been using his powers to wipe Gerard's memory every time he finds out about his powers. Anyways, when Gerard finds out about these powers his reaction is basically "that doesn't sound right I'm going to go confirm with this character." So he goes running over to this character's house and gets his memory wiped almost immediately. Like, congratulations Gerard, you played yourself.

Also I feel like I have to add that the only reason why he found out in the first place is because Kit is an idiot who can't keep his mouth shut ever.

Celena once paid her cousin 20$ to record her sliding down a mall escalator after screaming "EAT ASS, SMOKE GRASS, AND SLED FAST' from that one vine. She broke her arm. Not really funny or weird, but she also flipped off a teacher who said she couldn't play 'Take on Me' really loud on the gymnasium speakers, then did it anyway and got suspended for a week.

Two of my characters, Bernon and Mike, were walking across their country after the apocalypse, and Bernon was making it his mission to make Mike laugh by shooting increasingly terrible puns at him as they went. It wasn't working, despite Bernon trying for hours. Mike then basically one-shot-killed Bernon with a single, horrible, magnificently deadpan pun he'd been sitting on the whole time. The look on Bernon's face, ironically, made Mike laugh like an idiot for ten solid minutes.
Let's just say you have to be easily amused if you're gonna survive the apocalypse X'D

Well what is it dude! I'm on the edge of my seat!

that's….that's the problem…..I wish I knew…..I haven't finished drafting that part of the story yet and so far Mike's Golden Pun eludes me TvT

_{Ooooooh. Sad.}

Yep. I'll figure it out eventually though, I know it XD

_{I wish good luck to you then.}

tyy

So. Evelyn has done a LOT of stupid things. She's my crackhead crazy weirdo for a fucking reason. But on one particular Wednesday afternoon while skipping class with her friends. They decided to 1. Go rollerskating through the streets of the city, have a hot dog eating contest(With only 1 hotdog per participant) and spray paint dicks all over the schools walls and the principals car. Now these are smart kids that have winter gloves and made sure they weren't anywhere near classroom windows. It was a LOT of fun.

Scipio strangled a man, pushed his body down the stairs, then went to make sandwiches as though nothing happened. During that particular scene, he found alcohol in the cupboard, and he's like "Oh, but we shouldn't drink because we're underage". After murdering someone in cold blood, of course. Scipio's chaotic neutral and pretty cool lol

Kitty shot 2 detectives in the head and licked the splattered blood off of her cheek (not really weird or funny, just pretty disturbing)

My character Julian is afraid of heights, and in once scene I have him climb up a staircase that literally stretches up like thirty feet without anything to call a railing. When the other characters as if he'll make it up the stairs, he literally states, "Of course I will! Did you think I'm afraid of heights or something?" It makes me laugh every time I re-read it.

Love it, Fraust.

My boy Slate (who I haven't made a character link for) called a wizard a conehead one time

Pardon my french… "I'm not a f*cking vampire," Zo said to a vampire. She later becomes one herself.

Crocus gets out of the caves for the first time in a while, immediately runs out onto a very thin ice lake and doesn’t actually fall in, narrowly escapes.
He then licks a pole about ten minutes later.

He’s not very smart (at first, but you do have to take into mind he’s not a human and has rarely been around them to begin with).

He eventually frees himself and continues on his merry way into human civilization.