forum Please Help With Character Development

Started February 02, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

Okay so I'm writing my novel for the universe "Fracture" and I finally got around to introducing the reader to the character Samara. She will only be in the story at the very beginning and end, but at the same time she's an important part of the main character's life and backstory. I can reveal some information about Samara through Alex's thoughts and dialogue, but I still want to give a lot of information about her in the beginning without overwhelming the reader with information. So I'm going to leave a link of the character, and the paragraph where the reader is first introduced to Samara. Please give feedback!

“Yeah, maybe. They might’ve broken down though, so drive slowly just in case we pass them on the way home.” Daniel nodded, and they made their way toward his car quickly, where Samara had been waiting for them. Alex could see her blood red lipstick from yards away. Her tan face was illuminated by the blue light from her cell phone. Soft music drifted from the car, and Samara swayed slowly to it, like she always does when there’s music playing. Even if there isn’t any music playing, she’ll be nodding her head or swaying, seeming to dance to the sound of her own heartbeat. Alex admired that.

I like that little introduction of Samara you wrote. The characterization was beautiful. (Although the sentence "Even if there isn’t any music playing, she’ll be nodding her head or swaying, seeming to dance to the sound of her own heartbeat" was worded a little awkwardly.)

I read through the profile, and again, the characterization is really spot on, even for a side character. (Just out of curiosity, is she a lesbian partly because of her history of sexual abuse by men close to her?)

Thank you, I'm glad that you like it! And to answer your question, no, she's not a lesbian because of her history, but she is asexual, so she wants only romantic relationships with women instead of sexual ones (I thought about it but forgot to mention it). That was something that was a result of the sexual abuse.

Okay cool. You've done a great job with her. :)