forum open critiques!
Started by Deleted user
tune
Edit topic

people_alt 5 followers

Deleted user

amstance writes
how long is her hair? does it fall to her shoulders? her hips?
'insecurities' are everyone's flaws. what's she insecure about
by manipulation, do you mean she's good at getting people to do favors for her and stuff or is she manipulative and untrustworthy?
wdym by defender for her personality type. also expanding on what her personality is would def help other people get an idea of who she is
what do you mean by neutral politics?
why does she have a machete? who gave her the locket and why is it so important to her?
she has no background info :(

Deleted user

@TheMusicalVampire

  • why do people call him lucifer
  • depression usually doesn't manifest itself in panic attacks, that's more of an anxiety/panic disorder kinda thing
  • he's ace, so does he think people who aren't are wrong? i dont understand how you worded the prejudice
  • how does he have such good grades when he's anxious and depressed? depression usually results in demotivation, so i would think he might struggle to keep his grades
  • his asthma seems to get in the way of him running, but i don't really think you can 'beat' asthma?
  • a phobia of needles stemming from a trip to the hospital where the lungs were the problem, not the blood or anything needles would be needed for seems a lil out of place
  • why did he become less attached to his caring, close family? that's not really something that just. happens
  • the death of the family pet might have resulted in a depressed stage, but not clinical depression. that probably would make more sense coming in with the being bullied in school thing and the girl he liked telling him those awful things.
  • you say all his crushes lasted for a few days, but his crush on that girl in school lasted longer than a few days????

his main characteristics are his illnesses. all his aspects revolve around how depressed he is, so when i'm reading over his info, the only real things i picked up were that he's depressed.

@TheMusicalVampire

@sadgirl

  • People call him Lucifer because of the red head joke and his name being close to it.
  • I will reword that, he has anxiety AND depression.
  • I will reword that.
  • His parents push grades on him so much that his naxiety acts up resulting in him doing them to satisfy his parents wishes.
  • I will reword that.
  • From experience, even if it is a lung problem people still have to have their blood drawn when admitted to hospitals.
  • He feels that they give so little freedom and privacy that he needs to hide things from them.
  • You are correct. It just hit him very close though saying that it was the first death he had ever experienced. I will reword it.
  • Yeah, I will explain that better.

I will work on giving him an actual pesonality besides his illness.
Thank you!