I have a new character (female) that was past abused from ages 5-16 by her step dad before running away. She had self harmed in the past and has an eating disorder (anorexia). She is very sarcastic, and bold but she also puts up a wall to not show weakness. I don’t know what some good mannerisms would be. Any ideas?
If she's untrusting of people then maybe make her not look anyone in the eyes
Cool cool
maybe she would pull down long slaeves out of habit? if she doesn't self harm anymore it would maybe be a habit from when she did if she never wanted anyone to see
Thanks =)
A common thing that anorexic people do is move their food around on their plates to make it appear eaten, so maybe she does that?
I know abused people (especially sexually and physically) are much shier but more intent on people to be happy and satisfied. I have a young boi named Met who was sexually and physically abused by a lover of his in his college days and I resorted him to shiness and a yearn for happiness in case he made someone upset.
Looking in the eyes makes people notice you, or even worse, it's is a challenge. Never look someone in the eyes unless you are proving to a person who isn't a threat that you are trustworthy. (To be fair I don't know if this has to do with any sexual abuse.)
Thank you both!
ok this is what i've gathered from my experiences with abuse:
-A hesitancy to show affection or get attached to others. If a person was abused by someone they trusted and loved, they might still get into relationships because they crave the affection they never got, but may agonize about whether they should trust the person and might end up pushing them away because of it.
-Any kind of body language that puts a barrier between then and other people. Crossed arms, glaring, being quiet, crossing their legs, avoiding eye contact.
-They will have random triggers. Certain music or food or things that the abuser liked might make them anxious and even physically sick. Maybe there are several bands they can't listen to and they always turn down a specific type of candy because these are things directly associated with the abuser.
-If your character was abused by her dad then she might look for attention from older men or, on the opposite side, will be extremely distrusting of men, especially those in positions of authority, to the point where she will actively avoid being alone in a room with one.
-Intrusive thoughts of any and all kinds. These can get really dark and really weird, so go wild.
-Panic attacks, fidgeting.
Suicidal thoughts and depression of course. Might think It's okay because we can kill ourselves if it gets too bad.
Idk but perhaps conflicting thoughts. Like personalities fighting among themselves.
If the character wants to hide their weakness, I'd say make them more loud and distracting. In the mind of a mentally ill person if people think of them as outgoing, they can't possibly see their sadness. Hope that helps a little!
Suicidal thoughts and depression of course. Might think It's okay because we can kill ourselves if it gets too bad.
oh i second this one
If the character has ongoing abuse (which yours doesn't but it's good to share) the victim usually thinks the person in question will stop (if it's a lover) and they hold on, not telling anyone, though this is not the case. It usually gets worse, rarely rarely better.
Self-destructive behavior, very often. Abuse victims generally resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms (for example, as you mentioned, cutting; but also internalizing emotions; distracting themselves for example with alcohol, drugs, confrontations; trying to make up for things they are/were forbidden from doing around their abuser, often in a toxic or radical way; developing a very warped, dark sense of humor, often self-deprecating in nature…). From my own personal experience, an abuse victim may be very, very careful not to inflict the same treatment they experienced, onto others, sometimes to an extreme level: for example if they got yelled at a lot as a kid, or blamed for things that weren't their fault, they might a) never complain to loved ones, in fear of pushing them away or "hurting" them with things that don't concern them, b) never blame any one else for their own problems or misery, even if there is someone else at fault. On the reverse side (and this we see often enough in media), an abuse victim will find their own target and continue the cycle of abuse, because it's all they know, AND because there's often the feeling of "if I had to suffer, then so do you, you have to understand my pain" <– this is often an attitude carried towards loved ones, people they want to connect with.
This got long haha, hope it's a lil helpful. Just remember that every abuse victim reacts differently, and it may help actually, as a private writing exercise, to write different types of abuse victims reacting in ways unique to their experience. Just a thought!
(Where did you get your info btw?)
@The-Althalosian (are you asking me?? if not please ignore)
Yeah.
@The-Althalosian A very in-depth personal interest in psychology, as well as years worth of personal experience on the victim end. I also tend to micro-analyze people close to me, so if I know of a particular trauma of theirs it's not hard to connect the dots around their behavior. (I don't mean to sound too clinical haha)
Oof. I get it. I'm kind of a sociopath.
oh shit dude me too @ all of that
omg haha I'm too emotional on my end to qualify myself as a sociopath :') Another coping mechanism there, though I say that lightly as I haven't looked into sociopathy too deeply as of yet
oh shit dude me too @ all of that
by all of that i meant what kaloobia said abt the personal inerest and abuse and microanalyizing thing
oh shit dude me too @ all of that
by all of that i meant what kaloobia said abt the personal inerest and abuse and microanalyizing thing
mmhm, I think it's a universal thing to go off and do endless research to try and figure out why…. you feel like shit… all the time….. and also relating to other people in your life who also have had first-hand experience…. so, not to be lame and white, but my condolences and I understand :/