Hey everyone! Lots of people seemed to love my last thread of critiquing their characters so I though I’d open up another one! I closed the last one because I kind of got burned out by all the character critiques I was giving, and some of you had such good character that they were hard to critique!
But this time, I’m going to take it in a way that will allow me to be able to not feel like I’m suffocating in characters lmao.
So, the only things I ask is:
If I’ve critiqued your character once already, please don’t bring them again unless I specifically say that I would like to critique them again.
And, one character at a time please!
I'm not quite finished, and this is my first character on this website, but I hope you like her! if you have any questions about any of the stuff, just ask!
Karmaine or Kari Dupont: Karmaine Marie Dupont
Ella, Sure! I'll take a look at them!
Actually, it seems that your character is on private, if you turn them to public then i'll be able to see them and give a review!
@Onnex Of course! And don't ever apologize for writing a lot! Thats what this place is here for!
I'll start with his looks first!
While what you put for his weight is very relatable (because I never know what to put for my characters weights either lol), its good to have at least an estimate, maybe a range for things like that. It helps you and other readers get a better picture and idea of what he would look like! And for identifying marks, I think you could probably add a few more things haha, like maybe his sharp teeth and pointed ears? If I walked up to someone and they opened their mouth to review large pointy teeth, I would definitely be able to identify them xD.
Other than that, his Looks section is pretty good!
His mannerisms look really good! They're super fleshed out! Oooh, his motivation is interesting, that makes me question what the story is about haha.
His flaws are good and fleshed out too! My only problem is that most of them are… good flaws? That doesn't really make sense lol but I can explain. Their not necessarily bad flaws, something someone would absolutely not want. Every character should have at least one imo, because it really gives them uniqueness and something different besides the basic old flaws of "waaa, I have low confidence" and "boo hoo I get lonely because I distance myself from others" and things like that haha. After critiquing hundreds of characters, almost every. single. one. has had those two flaws. They're good don't get me wrong, but thats what they're all missing. A flaw that truly makes them stand out. Something like Judgmental, selfish, excessive liar, even picky. I'm not saying change his flaws! But maybe add a few to make his personality even more unique and interesting :)
Hmm, reading his talents give me a few questions. You say he can do pretty much anything, but there needs to be some limitation so that he doesn't feel overpowered or annoying! Just a thought!
Other than those things, he is a really good and interesting character! Good job! It was very interesting reading through his page ^^
Thats all for now! Good luck!
First, her looks! I usually don't spend too much time on looks, so we'll go through this quick.
You say her hair is long and wavy, that could mean tons of things! How long? To Her mid back? Pelvis? Thighs? And what about bangs? the texture? Its good to be as detailed as you can with these things so that you and the viewer knows exactly how you picture your character! Same thing with skin tone. White could mean anything! Is her skin porcelain? fair? Olive?
For her identifying marks, how did she get that scar on her ear and how long has she had it?
Now onto the rest of her!
I think you can give her a few more mannerisms, at least 4-5 more! Most people have tons of mannerisms! They can be something small like bouncing her leg when nervous or something like stutters when scared! What does she do when shes excited? Angry? Scared? confused? How is her posture? How does she sit? any "quirks" she has, put them here!
Ahhhh, her flaws are very bare! The two she has are good, but most people have lots and lots of flaws! Flaws are probably the most important part of a character. They make the character feel like an actual person and not just a name on piece of paper! The allow the reader to make connections and to relate to the character, which is what you want! Maybe shes indecisive, maybe she selfish, maybe she impulsive! Theres tons of flaws she could have! I say give her 5-6 more flaws, and elaborate on them as well!
Why doesn't she like the particulars? Explain!
Shes got to have more than one hobby! It doesn't have to be something big, but it can be small!
Also, explain on her personality section her… well, personality! I'm too lazy to go and google her myers briggs type and everything else on there. It will help you later if you explain her personality in detail there!
For politics, well, explain her opinion on the particulars then! What does she like about them? What does she not like about them? On her favorites, I suggest explaining why her favorites are her favorites! Whats so cool about sky blue? Why does she like monkeys so much?
Her background is tiny! Yeah, you've got the basics, but its there for you to put down everything! What was her childhood like? Did she have friends? Did she get good grades? What was her relationship like with her parents? what made her decide to become an actress? What big events happened in her life that made her the way she is?
Wow, that was super long haha, sorry about that! Anways, thats all I have for now! Good luck!
Before I get in I just want to say I love his gallery lol, he’s such a cutie xD
Ok, now onto his actual page lol
So quickly reading through his look section, everything seems good on that part, well done!
So with his mannerisms, everything seems good for the most part, just one think that I noticed is you put “he smiles a lot when he’s happy” which doesn’t necessarily seem like an mannerisms to me, more like a natural human trait, unless he does it excessively.
Ah, I like how you split his goals into short term and long term, very nice! His flaws section is nice as well! It’s well thought out and explained I can tell. Ooooh, he also has an excellent prejudice, that’s very cool, I’ve never seen a character with a prejudice like that!
His flaws and good traits are very well balanced, which is awesome! Imbalanced flaws to pros are a thing I often come across when critiquing characters haha.
You did well explaining his favorites on some of them, but left a few out. Maybe explain why he only fights with his fists and why is favorite food is French fries.
But other than those few things, he don’t have much problems! He’s a really interesting and sweet character, I can tell you’ve put thought into him! Good job!
I’ll start with his looks!
I don’t see much problem here other than some specifying problems. Telling me his skin is “white” doesn’t really tell me much at all, be more specific! What shade of white? Is he porcelain? Olive? Fair? What!
Now onto the rest of him!
His mannerisms are very bare. Most people tend to have more than one mannerism, and by more I mean a lot more! Mannerisms are probably one of the most important parts to a character, they make the character feel alive! They give them personality, makes them feel different from every other character! What does he do when he’s sad? Angry? Excited? What’s his posture like? His manners? How does he walk (swift, slow, long strides), there’s tons of things you can put! I say give him at least 4-5 more mannerisms.
His flaws are also very bare. Flaws are single handedly the most important part of a character. They’re what make the character come alive, they’re what allow the readers to sympathize and make those important connections with the character! Without good, solid flaws, your screwed. And the flaws he has are… well, I wouldn’t consider them actual character flaws. “Too charming”? “Too caring?” Imo, those aren’t solid flaws. Solid flaws are things like Indecisive, judgmental, over thinker, impulsive, etc. He NEEDS solid flaws or else the reader won’t like him and he will come off as a “Mary-sue”. So I say give him at least 5-6 solid flaws.
He prejudice section doesn’t make sense. A prejudice is a belief your character believes about something without necessarily having a reason to. So maybe he hates a certain group, or a certain person, or something, even though they’ve never gave him a specific reason to.
In his personality section, he’s got an overbearing larger amount of good quality’s that bad which, like I said before, isn’t good. We need bad qualities in a character too! So give him some! No one is perfect, even if they might seem like it.
I think you should explain why his favorites are his favorites! Why does he like his crown? What’s so cool about eagles?
His background is confusing and very short. So he’s lived twice? Or what. And I think you should go more into detail about it as well. What was his childhood like? His education? His friends? What was his relationship with his parents like? Some things that happened in his childhood that made him the way he is?
What you have here’s is basically the “shell” of a character. Spend some more time on him and study what makes a good character!
Anyways, good luck!
First, i'll start with his looks!
He does seem to be a bit underweight, by 10 is lbs. Not sure if you did that on purpose, but just letting you know!
Ok, so you say his hair is "brown" but that could mean tons of things! What shade of brown exactly? Chestnut? Auburn? Chocolate brown? Theres wayyyy too many shades of every color to not be specific! Same things with his hairstyle. Saying "To the side" doesn't give me much info. How long is it? To what side? Is it curly? Straight? Another thing, where did he get his scar from? How long has he had it?
Alright, on to the rest of him!
Hmm, his Nature section is very bare. Firstly, why does he want to help his family and people in need?
His flaw section is very bare and not correct. They're talking about personality flaws here, not… scar flaws lol. They mean things like hes selfish, or conceited, or judgmental, or childish. so put some of those types of flaws down there! I say give him at least 5-6 and explain them.
His personality type section is also not really a personality type, those are human emotions, not personality traits. What I mean by that is everybody experiences those things! Everyone gets happy, angry, pissed, etc. Put down what his personality is like! Maybe hes kind! Maybe he can get a bit annoying sometimes! Maybe he doesn't like to talk to people. I don't know! But you do! So put it down. Explain it as in depth as you can! Thats what it's there for right?
I also see you skipped the "mannerisms" section. I think you should go back and add that in! Mannerisms are super important to making a character feel like they're real, they give them personality! Mannerisms are things like "bounces his leg when nervous" or "jumps up and down when excited" and things like that! I say go back and give him at least 4-5 mannerisms!
So in his social section, try explaining why his favorites are his favorites! Why does he like light blue so much? Whats so cool about his dagger? Etc.
Ahh, his history section is so bare! I don't know anything about him! He has no background or anything. How are people and you supposed to remember his background and all the little details about him if you just skip over it? What was his childhood like? What was his relationship with his parents like? Did he get good grades? Did he have any friends? What were some major events in his life that made him into who he is now? Backgrounds are super super super super important when trying to make a good character.
Well, thats all I have for now. Its seems you've got the shell of a character down so far, but none of the good stuff! I suggest going back and looking over him and fixing some stuff. Study what makes a good character, I can find tons of tutorials just on google of how to make a decent character!
Good luck!
there might be a few patchy spots but some of it is because I've already written it in Addox's character sheet. (Addox is her twin bro)
I haven't really had anyone look at her before for some reason i think because Addox is more fully developed (take at look at muh boi here if you want Addox (Add-ucks) )
Heyo!! When you get time would you look at my character? She’s kinda mid-development right now, though I’ve written out everything I can with where I am plot wise.
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