IMPORTANT: I'm currently on break. Yeah. So you might not want to add your characters in at this time.
Hello There! If you want your character to be critiqued, leave a link to your creation and make sure that it's public. I will hopefully respond quickly but I have school so I can't respond instantly. Tell me what you want to focus on if you have a preference. I won't go harsh, but If you ask me to rip your character to shreds, I'll try. Also I'd like to mention I am not a total professional, this is just a way for me to practice improving characters.
Hey there! Would ya like to critique my character, Vioetta? Vioetta
She's not yet finished but I'd like to polish her up better.
Vioetta is an anthromorphic wolf (They're called 'Alillians' in this universe) who is a mentally ill bandita. She's manipulative and wants vengeance on her brother.
Feel free to critique on anything about her and I'm alright with you ripping her to shreds.
(P.S. Even though she might be better off as an antagonist, she does some good in the story.
Hey there! Would ya like to critique my character, Vioetta? Vioetta
She's not yet finished but I'd like to polish her up better.
Vioetta is an anthromorphic wolf (They're called 'Alillians' in this universe) who is a mentally ill bandita. She's manipulative and wants vengeance on her brother.
Feel free to critique on anything about her and I'm alright with you ripping her to shreds.
(P.S. Even though she might be better off as an antagonist, she does some good in the story.
You've got a great character here! Thanks for sending this one in! Here are my notes!
-For height, I would write this in actual units (or whatever you call them.) I would try searching up a website that tells you your character's weight and height by their age. Don't worry, I get confused with weight and height too.
-What type of body type is "Skinny fat?" is it like average? Maybe describe this in brackets or find a more fitting term.
-How did she become pharmacophobic? (I might have spelled that wrong.) Is there a story about it? How does she treat her sickness without drugs/medicines?
-Does she always act anti-social around everyone? I am no expert with psychology keep in mind.
-You put a lot of detail in mannerisms! You can also put down body language and when Vioetta acts a certain way.
-I love how you split up minor flaws and major flaws! Makes things a lot easier!
-Might have been a mistake but it says in the flaws; "She wants to get revenge on her brother since she thinks he was the one who killed her brother. " Does she have another brother?
-This is optional; How does she manipulate people? You can make a story/prompt out of that.
-You put a lot of detail in your character's personality! I love it!
-Vioetta's backstory is very well written. I can tell because of how much detail you added. Well done!
You've got a very well made character! There isn't much I can say! Keep going!
Could you critique my kids Andrea and Isabella? Thank you!
Andrea:
-Does she always have those mannerisms around every single person? Is that always how she acts no matter who she is interacting with? Also; mannerisms are body language and I guess way they speak in my opinion.
-Maybe you could explain why Andrea has those prejudices. How did she start to believe those things?
-The personality sounds a bit brief to me. What were those sour friendships? Was that how she believed those prejudices? Is she slow to anger? Does Andrea constantly think about those bad friendships? Does it bring her down every now and then? Maybe add a few more traits, how about rigid? Constantly worried? You don't have to change it if you don't want to.
-How does she interact with friends and family? When she does seem to stand out, what does she do? How was her school life? The backstory needs some work.
-I have a tip for you! Think about different scenarios, and write down how your character would react to it. Use those where, why, and how questions. I think this will help expand Andrea.
Isabella:
-Same thing with mannerisms!
-What are some things she gets overboard with?
-Why does she feel drained by happy-go-lucky people?
-I think it's best to use the same tips I wrote before as both of them are quite brief.
You have a good character here but it needs more work. Think about different traits, reactions, backstory, etc. your character could have.
Hey there, mind taking a look at Alice for me? I've gotten most of the main stuff and would really like going into detail with this character. Rip her apart
Hey there, mind taking a look at Alice for me? I've gotten most of the main stuff and would really like going into detail with this character. Rip her apart
Wow! This character is super fleshed out and I love it. I can tell you put a lot of effort.
-"She can be anything she wants, do anything she wants. But she doesn't.. " How does this make sense? Am I missing something?
-What are some things that Alice learned from living on the streets? Does her clumsiness cause deadly accidents when using potions, herbs, spells, etc?
There isn't much I can say except that your character is amazing. Keep going!
Can you take a look at Coallen? I've been trying to make the most fleshed-out character I can. Be as harsh as you feel necessary, I've spent years toughening my skin.
Small note: The backstory is a mess. I know. I'm sorry. If you want me to try and clarify it for you, feel free to ask; and if you want to skip it, that's fine too.
Hey there, mind taking a look at Alice for me? I've gotten most of the main stuff and would really like going into detail with this character. Rip her apart
Wow! This character is super fleshed out and I love it. I can tell you put a lot of effort.
-"She can be anything she wants, do anything she wants. But she doesn't.. " How does this make sense? Am I missing something?
-What are some things that Alice learned from living on the streets? Does her clumsiness cause deadly accidents when using potions, herbs, spells, etc?
There isn't much I can say except that your character is amazing. Keep going!
Thanks for the feedback :)
-yeah, the quote ends off with "Alice is bent on figuring out who she is and where she came from." (i think) and basically, Alice knows that she was taken in by someone else but doesn't know who her biological parents. Of course, she knows that one of them has to be an elf, so she goes throughout Dvorjak searching. Without spoiling too much, she was very surprised.
-I will work on a few of those things, thank you :))
@Baloney Thank you for the critique! You're right about Vioetta's pharmacophobia. Thinking about it, it might be the drug that made her insane or the drug-related crimes in Bushville.
And yes, skinny fat is a thing. The best way I can describe it is having a pudgy belly with normal arms and legs. And yes, there's was a mistake on "She wants to get revenge on her brother since she thinks he was the one who killed her brother. " Vioetta only has one brother and she thinks indigo was at fault for their UNCLE's death, Artica. I also like how you added in compliments in your response. (:
Again, thank you so much for the critiques! I'll keep your suggestions in mind.
He's an asshole show no mercy and rip him to shreds my dude!
Anyway I'm tryna put him through a lot of critiques to see if he's got any contradictions, show him to a new set of eyes, etc. so on One Hand he might be difficult but on the Other,,,I didn't plan this far ahead anyway don't strain yourself and take your time!
Can you take a look at Coallen? I've been trying to make the most fleshed-out character I can. Be as harsh as you feel necessary, I've spent years toughening my skin.
Small note: The backstory is a mess. I know. I'm sorry. If you want me to try and clarify it for you, feel free to ask; and if you want to skip it, that's fine too.
Awesome creation you've got!
-Is Coallen quick to anger? Does he have a temper? What is something he is reluctant to do? Does he ever feel undetermined? What lengths will he go to defend his honour, etc.? Will he be really harsh if he thinks that people aren't training hard enough? What specific events would deeply effect his life? This is kind of my opinion, but I think maybe adding a few more examples, traits, etc. to his personality would be great. This is optional.
-Here's a tip I commonly use; why, when, how? Why does a character have those traits? How did they get them or how and when does this trait come into place?
-I love how you put his extreme loyalty also as a flaw, it shows that he's really motivated to protect and serve the Dictate and will do anything for it.
-What would Coallen do if he was dismissed or treated harshly just because he missed a shot?
-Hmmm…. an average man in the U.S. would weigh around 190-197pounds… he's 164 pounds. It depends on the average weight of his species.
I think you've got a pretty good character here! Just need to work on a few things, but I think you're doing great! Well done!
He's an asshole show no mercy and rip him to shreds my dude!
Anyway I'm tryna put him through a lot of critiques to see if he's got any contradictions, show him to a new set of eyes, etc. so on One Hand he might be difficult but on the Other,,,I didn't plan this far ahead anyway don't strain yourself and take your time!
HOLY CHEESE! THIS IS AMAZING! You are certainly a talented writer and artist. This is probably one of the best characters I've ever seen. I'll mostly point out a few things here.
-An average man in the U.S. is around 190-197 pounds according to google… but I did more specific research and it depends on how tall someone is. So he's fine.
-Does he always have those mannerisms around everyone? No matter what? Would he ever tense up?
-For some reason he reminds me of someone…… I'm getting deja vu here.
There isn't much I can say except you are awesome. Thank you!
Can you take a look at Coallen? I've been trying to make the most fleshed-out character I can. Be as harsh as you feel necessary, I've spent years toughening my skin.
Small note: The backstory is a mess. I know. I'm sorry. If you want me to try and clarify it for you, feel free to ask; and if you want to skip it, that's fine too.
Awesome creation you've got!
-Is Coallen quick to anger? Does he have a temper? What is something he is reluctant to do? Does he ever feel undetermined? What lengths will he go to defend his honour, etc.? Will he be really harsh if he thinks that people aren't training hard enough? What specific events would deeply effect his life? This is kind of my opinion, but I think maybe adding a few more examples, traits, etc. to his personality would be great. This is optional.
-Here's a tip I commonly use; why, when, how? Why does a character have those traits? How did they get them or how and when does this trait come into place?
-I love how you put his extreme loyalty also as a flaw, it shows that he's really motivated to protect and serve the Dictate and will do anything for it.
-What would Coallen do if he was dismissed or treated harshly just because he missed a shot?
-Hmmm…. an average man in the U.S. would weigh around 190-197pounds… he's 164 pounds. It depends on the average weight of his species.
I think you've got a pretty good character here! Just need to work on a few things, but I think you're doing great! Well done!
I just found out that because he is 6"2, he would be 171-209 pounds. That is a more accurate calculation.
He's an asshole show no mercy and rip him to shreds my dude!
Anyway I'm tryna put him through a lot of critiques to see if he's got any contradictions, show him to a new set of eyes, etc. so on One Hand he might be difficult but on the Other,,,I didn't plan this far ahead anyway don't strain yourself and take your time!
HOLY CHEESE! THIS IS AMAZING! You are certainly a talented writer and artist. This is probably one of the best characters I've ever seen. I'll mostly point out a few things here.
-An average man in the U.S. is around 190-197 pounds according to google… but I did more specific research and it depends on how tall someone is. So he's fine.
-Does he always have those mannerisms around everyone? No matter what? Would he ever tense up?
-For some reason he reminds me of someone…… I'm getting deja vu here.
There isn't much I can say except you are awesome. Thank you!
Can you take a look at Coallen? I've been trying to make the most fleshed-out character I can. Be as harsh as you feel necessary, I've spent years toughening my skin.
Small note: The backstory is a mess. I know. I'm sorry. If you want me to try and clarify it for you, feel free to ask; and if you want to skip it, that's fine too.
Awesome creation you've got!
-Is Coallen quick to anger? Does he have a temper? What is something he is reluctant to do? Does he ever feel undetermined? What lengths will he go to defend his honour, etc.? Will he be really harsh if he thinks that people aren't training hard enough? What specific events would deeply effect his life? This is kind of my opinion, but I think maybe adding a few more examples, traits, etc. to his personality would be great. This is optional.
-Here's a tip I commonly use; why, when, how? Why does a character have those traits? How did they get them or how and when does this trait come into place?
-I love how you put his extreme loyalty also as a flaw, it shows that he's really motivated to protect and serve the Dictate and will do anything for it.
-What would Coallen do if he was dismissed or treated harshly just because he missed a shot?
-Hmmm…. an average man in the U.S. would weigh around 190-197pounds… he's 164 pounds. It depends on the average weight of his species.
I think you've got a pretty good character here! Just need to work on a few things, but I think you're doing great! Well done!
I just found out that because he is 6"2, he would be 171-209 pounds. That is a more accurate calculation.
Hey! I just wanted to put my replies because I can answer some of this, and I thought maybe you would like to know:
-He's no longer very quick to anger visibly, unless you mention his past, particularly his brother. Then you see how mercurial he really is underneath his cold mask. He does have a temper, but it's buried. He's reluctant to speak of his past or speak of his relationship to the Dictate, to really say that the Dictate is all he has left now, the only thing he dares to love. He feels undetermined when his demons come to haunt him, but he pushes through that.
-He's not honorable in the classic sense, but he tries to kill people quickly. He knows he lost a lot of what could be called "honor" just by being born onto the planet he did, and his hands have a lot of blood on them, creature as well as human. The least he can do is try to make that small amendment. He's not horrifyingly harsh, but he measures those under his eye in terms of the days of survival that they can do on his home planet (which is essentially a type of hell), and he does every effort to bring them up to scratch while allowing for their individual learning rates and personalities.
-He has a lot of things that deeply affected his life. Joining the rebellion and becoming an assassin at age fifteen all the way up to age eighteen. Making the switch to the Dictate at eighteen. Losing the only person he cared about and feeling responsible for the death. Knowing his entire family was executed. Other events that would affect him deeply are situations that would push him out of his self-control and the aftermath of that situation. Oh, also having the Dictate challenged.
-Okay, I'll review what I put for his personality!
-Yeah, the Dictate is all he has left. He would (permanently) die for it with a smile on his face. (If, you know, he smiled often.)
-Ooh, that's a good one actually. He'd probably have a kind of panic attack if he missed, because missing on his home planet means you better run or you're gonna get savaged, and that's instilled deep into his mind. Anyone watching would see him immediately ready himself to run before realizing he's not back home anymore. Thankfully, he keeps his skills up to scratch in practice, so he doesn't have to worry too much about the backlash. If someone dismissed him/treated him harshly … I don't feel like it would end well for that person.
-Thanks for telling me, I guess my research wasn't accurate enough!
Hewwo o3o Would you mind taking a look at my child over here?
-Maybe you can explain why Narion has those prejudices and why he doesn't trust people. I think it would round up his prejudices and flaws a little more.
-Hey, I play the flute too!
-For personality, I'd write down different traits, like slow to anger since he's really sweet. You can also make him really secretive or shy. I think asking those, why, how, and when questions would help. Think of how your character's personality would come into place by writing how they would react to certain situations. I still love how Narion is an introvert.
-How does he speak? What is his tone and way of speaking? Is it different around other people? I know that mannerisms are mostly body language but adding how your character verbally interacts adds more to their personality.
-I love how detailed the looks are!
-The backstory is actually really interesting, like how Narion's eyes were stolen and all that. I'm a fan of royalty characters.
You've got a really good character!
Her BFF Cinthia too, if you want. They're my only completed characters as of now.
Sorry for not responding early! I was on break. Okay, here we go!
-What were those experiments from the government?
-Magical abilities are really detailed! Nice!
-It seems that Theresa doesn't have many physical flaws. Are there any "imperfections" in her looks? Or is she plain perfect?
-Does Theresa have those mannerisms around everyone? Anyone to the oldest elder to the tiniest child? Will she swear around young children? Where, why, when, and how?
-You mentioned she doesn't listen to anyone. Even if her closest friends tell her not to do something?
-Try placing your character's personality into place in different situations. How would they react to a hard choice?
Your character is pretty well written. The only major things I'd add are more physical flaws and maybe some more traits and details which are optional. I hope I can get to critiquing Cinthia but I am currently busy with school.
Her BFF Cinthia too, if you want. They're my only completed characters as of now.
Sorry for not responding early! I was on break. Okay, here we go!
-What were those experiments from the government?
-Magical abilities are really detailed! Nice!
-It seems that Theresa doesn't have many physical flaws. Are there any "imperfections" in her looks? Or is she plain perfect?
-Does Theresa have those mannerisms around everyone? Anyone to the oldest elder to the tiniest child? Will she swear around young children? Where, why, when, and how?
-You mentioned she doesn't listen to anyone. Even if her closest friends tell her not to do something?
-Try placing your character's personality into place in different situations. How would they react to a hard choice?
Your character is pretty well written. The only major things I'd add are more physical flaws and maybe some more traits and details which are optional. I hope I can get to critiquing Cinthia but I am currently busy with school.
Thank you, and I completely understand! She was hunted down numerous times for being magical, as well as breaking into their secret facilities. You can probably imagine what they wanted to do with her (us humans don't really care for the impossible, especially the government). She has scars from experiments and fights she's gotten into.
I'd say Theresa is more kind hearted and considerate when it comes to children, acting as the big sister she never could be. She swears and whatnot because of her rough upbringing, not really knowing any better (being taken in by the mafia doesn't help either). As for old people, she has really old friends (her oldest is over 20,000 years old) and acts the same way around them, but only because they don't care. For elderly humans, she's a little more considerate, but still doesn't really care what she's like around them as she has an impression that no one likes her anyway, and she's cool with that.
There are only a select few people she'll listen to, Cinthia being the main one. Even then, if she really wants to do something and Cin says no, she might do it anyway. Again, her upbringing is a big cause for that.
Those questions really helped, and I'll be sure to add these answers to her character sheet!
I know that there are a few things on his profile that are hard to explain without having background knowledge of the universe, but some feedback would be much appreciated. Thanks!
(also there are some things I over explained and others that have like no explanation so hgfdfghj)
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