forum I'll critique characters!
Started by @GraceAnn:)
tune

people_alt 49 followers

@GraceAnn:)

Can you critique ma boi? I'm in the middle of updating some old OC's and was wondering if there was anything I missed.
https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/576372- Caleb Sawyer

OK! here's what I think,

1) Explain his role. The original information you provided is hard to understand.
2) His other names are also unexplained and vague. Why is he called those things? Elaborate, you can never write to much information about your character especially if your sharing it with fellow writers.
3) He's very heavy for a 17 year old boy even in comparison to his height and his athletic body type. Might I suggest making him 54 kilos? Based on the information shown this is about the weight that you want.
4) What do you mean by low fade in the hairstyle?
5) You never said anything about the length or the way his hair falls or even they way he wears it.
6) What type of white is he there are many many many many many shades, hues, and values. Be a little more specific, Try looking at the names of some foundation make up to get the right color name.
7) You say he looks after the people he loves but, yet he has only ever loved his sister. ??????
8) Might I suggest? Try making him have a love interest. Maybe he has a strange attachment to this girl or guy and he just can't bring himself to not protect them, love them, care for them. Maybe he knows him love is wrong and maybe the love is hidden or not known by both of them. And maybe he gets into a final battle and this whole battle was about them this whole time and he rages out beats the dude with pure passion for this person because he doesn't want them to get hurt.
9) Maybe even this person even betrays him and he still has to fight for them because down he knows he can never feel hate for them.
10) I think his too caring personality conflict with him only caring about one person.
Looks good!

Caboose

10) Yeah I'm going back to refine the whole thing.
8) I have a love interest planned I just think I left it out by accident. He basically finds it hard to trust her because she's not letting anyone in and sometimes when they need her to help in a fight she flat out doesn't. He has a crush on her and has made his respect made pretty obvious but she has all these walls built up. She earns his trust when she finally starts to help out and saves his life. That's also going to be a power reveal for her.

@Friendlyglittery7 group

Hello! Would ya like to critique on my character Vioetta? Vioetta Still making changes on her but I'd like to polish her up better. Don't be afraid to be harsh if you need to!
Vioetta is an anthromorphic wolf (They're called "Alillians" In my story) who is a mentally ill bandita who wants vengeance on her brother.

P.S. Even though she might be better off as a villian, she actually does some good in the story.