forum I can help you create believable characters [Still open, haul 'em in!]

Started April 12, 2018 by @Masterkey

tune

Hey! I've been working on how to create realistic characters for awhile now, it used to be something I had a real problem with. I worked hard on it for a few years, and I have confidence in my ability to help hone your character's personality, quirks, flaws, motivations, arc, and more! I'd love to help.

Hello! Do you mind checking him out? Melvin Callaghan
I really don't know if his whole backstory and present actions are realistic. I mean, keep in mind he's an assassin, and he's deeply troubled, but except that, I don't really know if his personality adds up

I'll just give you my thoughts as I read his profile first:

• Raising the pinky when you drink tea was actually a misconception from way back when "cultured" people would pick up their snacks with three fingers (making the pinky stick out), while the lower class would grab their snacks with all five fingers. So really, if you stick your pinky out while drinking tea, it makes you seem stuck up. It was actually picked up as a way to make fun of the upper class, and then people with good intentions started doing it without realizing those who did were actually making fun of the high class. :P Not that that's a big deal, but I went into Myth Busters mode. XD
• So to make your "mannerisms" section more fleshed out, you can answer these kinds of questions: how do people perceive him overall? What kind of vibe does he give off? How does he think he's acting when he's happy, sad, mad, etc? How do others think he's acting? Does he make a specific facial expression or express specific body language when he's in a certain mood? Does he have any physical habits? Those things will help you be able to bring him to life on the page. You don't have to make it TOO detailed or have every single person act a different way, just think about how he feels and how others feel around him–and then express that through body language. That way the reader can pick up on it, too.
• Moving on to motivations, what does he need to prove his family wrong about? Why isn't he accepted by society if he seems to have started out as high class? (After having read the history section, I thought he faked his death? And wouldn't his family NOT be pleased to find out he's a serial killer? So how can he "prove them wrong" by doing that?)
• Does he become easily angered, or does it take a lot to get him to that point? And I'd probably add some more flaws. Maybe because of his upbringing, he automatically thinks more highly of himself than he should, which can translate in a lot of different way in different situations.
• For his prejudice, does he not want his family's respect, too?
• Dude my favorite character's hidden talent is singing and dancing! I like your guy better already. And I personally play the piano, it's my favorite instrument. I like that you're giving this "Venetian Masked Killer" an artistic, musical side. It's a nice contrast, and it's actually realistic. People are so diverse in their abilities and interests, they're never limited to just one type of personality trait or hobby (though it is good to draw some lines to keep them consistent). The hobbies are really interesting, too. Star-gazing totally counts.
• Woah wait now I'm wondering why he's a killer with this type of personality: "Reserved, shy, gentle, introverted, geeky, quiet."
• Okay now we get to the history to see if some of my earlier questions will be answered. First off, I'm definitely put off by the fact that pressure to succeed by his well-to-do family pushed him to actually kill his own brother. Especially since his personality doesn't seem like the type to get so angry that he would murder. Just because you put it as his flaw does not make it make sense with what you put down as his personality.
• Now onto the part where you say he likes the popularity that comes with having killed someone, how could he be popular if it's a secret that he actually killed his brother?

You might want to think about if Melvin might have some sort of mental illness. Maybe he was abused as a child, and that kind of trauma just makes all the pressure he endured feel even worse than it actually is. It's really sad to admit, but experiencing trauma so young can really mess with someone mentally. If you get the right help, you'll grow up fine. But if you don't, and/or if you're continuously abused, you could potentially get a bad mental illness, maybe even become a socio/psychopath. It doesn't happen to everyone, but it could have happened to him. That could explain his reserved nature coupled with his serial killer nature. He feels like everything about how he was treated his entire life was unfair. He's been harboring this deep wound and hatred and pressure in his heart for years. He already had trouble with his temper. And then one day, when his brother was provoking him a little too hard, he snapped and pushed his brother into a glass table, which shattered and stabbed him. Obviously Melvin would feel terrible after that, because he never wanted to kill his brother. But he knows he has to hide it somehow, or to get away. Then you can put in the thing about him seeing how much his brother's "killer" is getting attention, and realizes "hey, I already killed someone. I'm already a failure according to my family. But I don't want to go to jail or die. If the world won't respect who I was before, I will make them respect me, fear me, with who I will become."

You obviously don't have to follow that advice to the t, or at all, but I hope it helps. :)

First off: WOW, you made such a detailed critique, I'm so thankful for you taking your time to write so much about him! (by the way, I tend to say thank you a lot, so you've been warned)

• About the pinky thingy, I had no idea it was a misconception, so thanks for telling me and saving me from looking like an uncultured idiot, I'll definitely change that!
• About the motivations and faking death, I wasn't really sure how to make him disappear without a trace from England and make him appear as a serial killer in the USA, so fake death was the first thing that came to my mind. If I think of a better idea, I'll definitely change it:') However, he totally wants his family to think he died or disappeared after killing his brother, so no, his family has no idea that the Venetian Masked Killer is him, but Melvin's fine with that. He wants to prove them wrong for himself (I hope that made sense haha).
• About his personality, I know it seems totally weird to be so contradictory (gentle/maniac), but basically the traits I put in there are his "normal" traits. But when he's angered (it takes quite a lot to anger him too), or vengeful, or hurt, it's like a switch, and he becomes this totally different person, he loses control and his rage takes over, and then he becomes super dangerous. That's how he killed his brother.
• And about popularity, he's also fine with society not knowing that he's the Venetian Masked Killer. It's enough for him to know they're talking about him. Society isn't recognising him directly, but unconsciously and unknowingly they are, and that's enough for him.
• Okaaay, and the last part! About mental illnesses, he DEFINITELY has, but the thing is, I'm afraid to write about them because I've never had any, and I don't want to offend or hurt anyone. I know it's a really serious and complex matter, and me having just basic knowledge about it, I'd feel bad even merely diagnosing him. I've thought about him having depression, or even making him a sociopath, but I've never went further than that.
  Apart from that, bravo with your interpretation of him. Seriously. You've managed to capture his essence and nailed it.
  I have a question though, you say in the post that you've been working hard to create realistic characters. How have you managed to be so good at it? Is there some webpage that I can visit, or just practice makes perfection? As you can see, I'm struggling at making realistic characters, so I'd love to be better at it. Tell me your secret!
  Aaaand again, thanks so much for doing this, you wonderful human being!

You're welcome! I'm glad I could help. :D

• Yeah, Melvin wanting to prove his family wrong for himself personally and not for them makes sense. Same for his anger issues and wanting to be "popular."
• So about mental illness, I think it's worse NOT to include mental illness in something that's so obviously influenced by a mental illness. For example, 13 Reasons Why. (I watched the first five episodes and then quit, but I read summaries of them all and a ton of reviews to see what people thought.) The general consensus amongst mental health professionals seems to be that 13 Reasons Why could have portrayed suicide more accurately. First of all, they showed her death on screen, which is a big no no (since it has been seen that those who are suicidal are influenced by watching others' suicides). Second of all, mental illness was just not present, and instead it seemed to be blaming others for EVERYTHING that she chose to do. Yes, all the horrible stuff that people do to you will affect you and your mental health, and that is never your fault. But it's ultimately the person's choice whether they take their own life or not. And they're almost always pushed to that point because of mental illness. 13 Reasons Why didn't display the whole truth about suicide, and therefore didn't educate people enough on how to really prevent it. Sometimes trauma in your life will cause a mental illness. Sometimes an already existing mental illness will make something seem more traumatic. But in the end, we really should focus on not only preventing bullying and such, but helping people treat their mental illnesses and preach mental health.
  Also, you don't necessarily have to diagnose him on the page. You don't have to even say the words "mental illness." But I think it would be good to know for yourself that part of the reason he's been pushed to this point is because of some sort of mental issue. You might want to read through this article to get some ideas on how to write his behavior and such: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/blame-the-amygdala/201304/what-would-we-find-wrong-in-the-brain-serial-killer
  Regular murderers aren't necessarily mentally ill, but serial killers are on a whole other level. I think what I'm trying to say is, yes, it's his family's fault for being so hard on him. It's also his fault for choosing to become a killer. But it's also the mental illness' fault for skewing his thinking. If he had been given proper help, then maybe he wouldn't have reached this point. Unless you think he had it in him to be a killer all along and would have made that choice despite mistreatment or mental illness?

Okay so… after having written all that below, I realize that I have written an article. XD It's the writer in me, haha. I really do apologize in advance, and I'm sorry if it's all useless to you. I don't have any specific websites that I use, but I'm a huge researcher and I have a lot of writer friends that I talk with. All that helped me shape my own opinion. If you have any further questions (because even after all that I feel like I might have left stuff out…) ask 'em. As you will see, stories kinda mean a lot to me.

AND NOW about how I've been working on creating realistic characters… When I was FREAKING TWELVE I decided to write a novel. And through my thirteenth year, I starting writing out a whole plot… and it was way too ambitious for a thirteen-year-old. XD I wrote a first draft that I didn't even finish that was over 120,000 words. And then I got bored with it, realized it was total crap, and quit when I was fifteen. I didn't know why I hated my first story, I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. And then I realized that all my characters were tiny cut-out versions of fifteen-year-old me… bossy, annoying, and always fighting. I realized that people don't all act like that. But I didn't know how to create real people, especially since most writer's aren't that great at characterization, either…

So here comes a bit of my life story… Basically I'm just trying to say it takes time, and you just have to be observant of yourself and others as you grow up:

I gave up writing for a few years and instead started observing the world around me and observing myself. What makes each human being different from another? Who am I really? What makes me different from my friends and family? What makes them different from each other? But what makes them all the same? When I was seventeen my life kinda got turned upside down (we moved away from the area I grew up in, which so happened to be the area my parents grew up in, so we had deep roots there). I met a ton of different people, and by interacting with them I learned some of my biggest flaws. It was probably the year I REALLY worked on myself and started understanding myself better. THEN, and this part is gonna be a lil weird, I was forced to watch Death Note, my first anime. I'd always been kind of stuck up in my reading and movie and TV habits (I only consumed "classics" or whatever my mom thought was good), and so I'd been limiting myself without knowing it, haha. I realized something and it took awhile for me to admit it: I LOVED DEATH NOTE. Then I started watching more and more great anime, like Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and all the Studio Ghibli movies (which are absolute masterpieces). Once I realized "hey, I love something that I used to think was crap no matter what. Sure, 90% of it might still be crap, but there are gems in there!" then I started being more open to new experiences that I'd always been too stuck up to try. So I guess I got better at figuring out what I liked and why? And not just with entertainment.

I think I also was super stuck up when it came to emotions. I always wanted to be a Tom Boy, I thought crying was a sign of weakness, I thought acting like a fangirl or girly-girl was pathetic, and that expressing genuine emotion was cheesy. I still have trouble being genuine to this day, I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. :P

AND SO THIS IS WHERE THE KEY BREAKTHROUGH IN MY CHARACTER-WRITING HAPPENED. After I started allowing myself to feel genuine emotions and stuff, to express those emotions, to not be ashamed when I went into girly mode or when I was just expressing my love for something, I started to be able to answer questions like: WHY do I like this story more than any other? WHY do I like these particular characters?

I guess as I grew up, I just started understanding myself. I'm almost nineteen now, it basically took since I quit when I was fifteen to now to finally begin to understand people. Then I could figure out what I liked in this life and why I liked it. For stories, I realized:

1. I am a sucker for stories about the power of friendship.
2. I love stories that are absolutely hilarious, but aren't so afraid to be cheesy that they can't be sincere and make me cry. Stories that draw me in with a laugh and then turn right around and punch me in the gut with feels are great. That's how I feel like my life experiences are.
3. I love character arcs about: humility, sacrificial love, "little guys can do big things too," standing up for yourself and for others and for what's right no matter the cost, learning what truly matters in life, "true love" displayed without romance (romance is good too, not gonna say I don't enjoy it. I just feel like people sometimes don't get what TRUE love really is), characters all growing and being changed because of rubbing up against each other, and many more…

The only reason I write is because I want to create a story that I would absolutely love to read! So my advice for you is:

• Start doing some soul-searching. Figure out why you do what you do. Figure out why others do what they do. When I was taking history classes, I suddenly started realizing, "Hey! Humans are all the same! They all have the same senses of humor, they all want the same thing, they all make the same mistakes… even around the world in totally different cultures. And yet, we are so diverse and amazing. Dang, humans are cool. I want to show that in my writing."
• Compile a list of the books, movies, TV shows, or whatever, that really made you feel something. Figure out why it made you feel that way. Figure out what elements you like to see, and then incorporate that into your writing. It could be specific plot points, scenes, character arcs, whatever.
• That list can also be used for stuff you thought was absolute crap. Why was it crap? Figure that out too, and then don't do that. :P
• Just observe everyone. Especially real people. People are more alike than we think they are. We all want love, friendship, and happiness. We all want to be good at something. We all want to laugh. The only ones who don't want all that are psychos…
• DON'T copy the trends of what all the other writers are doing. Everyone has been copying everyone else when it comes to characterization, so it no longer feels like real people, but instead all the characters we're used to seeing (so it may seem real because we see it everywhere, but really, it's not). If you make observations yourself from real life, and then do the hard work to interpret that onto paper yourself, you'll not only create believable characters but also you'll develop your own style.
• And the most important thing is: experience life. Go out and do things with people. Gather up your experiences, and write it down. Constantly observe others and try to translate their personalities in your head. And above all, you can keep it simple and still make your characters feel like real people. Humans aren't limited to one specific personality with rules that govern the inner workings of their minds, they're not limited to one hobby or interest, they are never just "the funny guy" or "the smart guy," in fact they can even change drastically. But there's also a fine line with that, you want to still make sure they are still THEM. I think I could muster together some more specific advice on that point exactly if you want, because that's the hardest part. I still don't really have it figured out. Usually you can tell you're doing it wrong if you could swap around all your characters' lines and nothing about the story would change. That's what I saw in my first draft when I was fifteen. :P

OH MY GOSH THAT WAS LONG I AM SO SORRY.

Oh yeah, and one more thing. I'm only 18, so I'm not claiming that I've got it all figured out. I'm still growing up, too.

Could you take a look at this character? I was going for the whole "tragic villian" thing, so I'd like to see what you think. Warning for implied incest (nothing explicit at all, though; it's just referenced). Also, if you see anything…familiar, don't say anything please; I'm embarassed enough to still be writing stuff like this as is: Mr. Perelli's assistant

Could you check out my bean Lucas??

Thanks!!

@AmmyPajammy, Wow, the feelings of creepiness this character gave off were tangible. I'll bet she'll be fun to read (and by fun, I mean walking through a haunted house fun).

The only question I had while reading through the first parts of the profile was "why"? Why did she make that pact? Why is she in love with her boss? Why does she care about nothing except pleasing her boss? Does she care about herself in any way? Does she have any dreams of her own? After reading her history, it makes a lot more sense. But still, do you think she doesn't think about anything else besides pleasing her boss because she's already in too deep to think about other things?

@TheMusicalVampire, whenever I try to click on your character, it says there's and application error. :'(

@AmmyPajammy, Wow, the feelings of creepiness this character gave off were tangible. I'll bet she'll be fun to read (and by fun, I mean walking through a haunted house fun).

The only question I had while reading through the first parts of the profile was "why"? Why did she make that pact? Why is she in love with her boss? Why does she care about nothing except pleasing her boss? Does she care about herself in any way? Does she have any dreams of her own? After reading her history, it makes a lot more sense. But still, do you think she doesn't think about anything else besides pleasing her boss because she's already in too deep to think about other things?

Thank you for your feedback! I understand your questions, and the answer is that she's unfortunately a one-note character in a sea of 125+ other characters, so i don't really plan on developing her much further than is strictly necessary for the story. Still, it's something to think about, and if I ever decided to expand on her character further, I'd definitely keep everything you said in mind.

@Masterkey
Would you mind taking a look at Caleb?

No rush! Thanks in advance!

@Masterkey
This link should work. Sorry!!

@AmmyPajammy, in that case, you did an amazing job. She'll be a great character to read (and write I'm sure) about.

Can you please critique this gal? If anything within the story needs explaining, let me know and I'll try to help you.
My gal: Jasper Jackson

@TheMusicalVampire Alrighty it works! I'll give you my thoughts as I go along:

• I don't think that weight is necessarily overweight for his height. An article I found says this: "According to the Centers for Disease Control, the average height for a 13-year-old boy is 5' 1 3/4". Boys' normal height can range from 4'11" at the 10th percentile to 5' 5 3/4" at the 90th percentile. The average weight for boys at that age is 102 pounds, with a range from 80 pounds at the 10th percentile to 135 pounds at the 90th percentile." So at 5'5 at age thirteen, he's actually pretty tall for his age (90% of all boys his age will be shorter) and also what you'd expect for an extra-tall thirteen-year-old boy.
• You said his self harm scars are identifying marks, so does that mean he lets them show?
• The motivation "to not commit suicide" seams like he's at the desperate point. If someone's only goal in life is to not commit suicide, then they've had to give up on any other dreams they've had in order to focus all their attention on staying alive, probably because the suicidal thoughts or actions were becoming too powerful. Would you say he's at that point yet? If so, will he start to climb out of that mindset and gain new goals and dreams? Most of all, what do you think he truly wants? That could help be a breakthrough for him.
• Another thing is, don't just write your character profiles for the character they will start as, but also the character they will end as. Hopefully he will go through some great character development. What I do in my character profiles is make different sections within each topic labeled "beginning," "middle," and "end," or even "first book," "second book," "third book." One of my character's motivations in the first book is "be popular," to put it simply. But then I included how those motivations change by the end of each book, mapping out his character development. You can do that for even mannerisms, likes and dislikes, etc. One of the most exciting parts of writing is following a human who gets an opportunity to live a life exciting enough to write a book about, and we get to see them tackle the hardships and grow and change because of what they go through. It can be inspiring and maybe even give people hope for their own lives.
• Just a little bit about the asexual part, I think most thirteen year olds are on the more asexual side when it comes to sex. They're just too young to totally know what it all entails, how being attracted to someone really feels, etc. They can't really decide whether they like or dislike it yet. They may know how it works, they may pretend they understand it or are totally a part of that world, but most really aren't. Thirteen is almost getting to the point when they'll start to understand, but I think a little on the young side. Another thing is, during the teenage years people are going through SO MUCH because of their stupid body trying to grow into an adult and totally messing up all their hormones. Lots of the time, teenagers going through different sexuality phases is just that, a phase. Sometimes they'll be right about themselves, sometimes they'll actually figure it out once their brain has fully developed and their hormones settle down, lol. Basically it's a time of self-discovery and trial and error.
• YES HE PLAYS PIANO. :D I play the piano. Best instrument.
• "Pizza, Nachos, & Ice cream" Ah yes, the big three. I love those foods, too.
• "It turned out that the friend that he thought would never betray him did." I don't know if I would call that betrayal. Especially since his family finally found out about what he was struggling with and could start to get him help. I understand that that's how it feels to him at first, but couldn't he eventually understand why his friend did it? Are they still friends?
• What does "Therapy was already large so his parents flipped a little" mean? Is he receiving therapy? If so, it doesn't really seem like much is getting better.
• "He is also questioning his other sexual identity." What is that other sexual identity?

Poor Lucas. :'( I overall think his story, resulting in the kinds of problems it did, is believable. I also like him, I can see a bit of his personality shining through his depression and anxiety. To me, and I think you point this out in his flaws, he seems to be ruled by his depression and anxiety. Mental illnesses really take over your life, sometimes even defining who you are for a time. I've known many people with problems like PTSD, anorexia, depression, insomnia, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and actions, etc. One of them was my sister. I saw how anorexia basically controlled her, like she didn't have her right mind. It influenced the way she saw the world, saw herself, and made decisions. It's a sad place to be, and the people around them will feel some pain, too. Thankfully she has almost completely healed. I hope he can overcome it and let his personality shine, I hope he can live his life to follow his own dreams without those shackles anymore. Well, the shackles don't necessarily have to be gone, he just has to have recovered enough to be able to punch 'em in the face and say "not today." Sometimes we'll have to live with our problems for the rest of our lives, since we live in a fallen world, but we can personally get stronger than our problems.

@Masterkey
Thank you so much for your feedback. I will put a lot of thought into editing him to become more and more believable.
Again, thank you so much.

@TheMusicalVampire You're welcome!

Also everyone, check this out it's so great:

https://www.eadeverell.com/30-scene-ideas-character-development/

WHAT DEVELOPS CHARACTER?

• CONFLICT, TESTS & TRIALS – any time the character faces resistance in their world, there is an opportunity to reveal something new about them, or to reinforce an existing trait. The more pressure the character is under, the more you will need to develop them to meet their difficulties.
• REACTION – meaningful and consistent reactions to the events around them are what create characters. This might take the form of ACTION, reflection, interaction, DECISION-MAKING, or even inaction.
• REFLECTION, SELF-ASSESSMENT – character doesn’t always have to be developed through action. Sometimes solitary reflection and assessment can be a great way to slow down and delve deeper.
• INTERACTION, RELATIONSHIPS – in many ways, the character is defined through contrast and correlation to the other characters in the story. Relationships apply push and pull forces on the character that cause them to react, make decisions, and re-assess their own identity.
• CHANGE, PROGRESS – one of the main differences between a flat character and a round one is that a round character changes, whereas a flat character stays static. A character’s reaction to change is one of their most defining traits and will often influence their other characteristics.
• DECISIONS, CHOICES – decisions are where the PLOT intersects the character’s mind most clearly. The sorts of decisions characters are faced with can be as telling as their later reactions to the path they chose.

THIRTY SCENE IDEAS FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPEMENT

1. The character has a heart-to-heart with a Helper.
2. The character trains with a Mentor.
3. The character completes a MINI QUEST to get past a Threshold Guardian.
4. The character questions their relationship to the Antagonist.
5. The character receives bad news from a Herald.
6. The character realises that they were deceived by a Shapeshifter.
7. The character recognises an aspect of themselves in another character.
8. The character is forced to wait for someone or something.
9. The character is forced to ask for help from a character they dislike.
10. The character confesses their deepest fear or secret to another character.
11. The character must negotiate with a character or group of characters.
12. The character LOSES OR SACRIFICES something they value greatly.
13. The character sees or hears something they weren’t supposed to.
14. The character tries to understand the MOTIVATION behind another character’s actions.
15. The character tries to evade or ESCAPE another character.
16. The character is forced to MAKE A DIFFICULT DECISION that will affect others.
17. The character is abandoned by someone they love or value.
18. The character tries to convince another character to act.
19. The character reacts to mental or physical pain.
20. The character needs to work together with another character.
21. The character is rejected by another character or group of characters.
22. The character looks back at how far they’ve come.
23. The character undergoes a RITE OF PASSAGE.
24. The character becomes responsible for other characters.
25. The character learns their true name and origin.
26. The character tries to master or conceal their THOUGHTS or EMOTIONS.
27. The character faces their own, or another character’s DEATH.
28. The character questions a belief that has shaped their personality.
29. The character loses all hope that they will succeed.
30. The character contemplates their future.

@alanye, Alrighty, here I go with your character:

• First off, I love the name Jasper and I like that her name is an alliteration. I'm a sucker for those.
• Oh I like that she goes through a hairstyle change!
• All the mannerisms were great, but are there any physical quirks that the normal Jasper will do besides tying up her hair when she needs to focus? It's good for bringing a character to life on the page.
• Awesome motivations. And plenty of them, which is good.
• "Good at every type of fighting. Knows nearly every language. Is really good at almost anything she puts her mind to. She's really good at skateboarding and drumming." Okay sooo you've got an OP character here. Which is totally fine, I love me a good story about an OP character. HOWEVER, it's easy for the story to get really boring if your character is just TOO good at everything. You have to come up with a way to make the character development and conflict stem away from the physical, because honestly, an OP character will never have to worry about that. Take One Punch Man as a great example of handling an OP character. So don't go "suddenly" giving your character physical weaknesses after you realize they're too physically powerful. If you need to give them physical weaknesses, have it there from the beginning. No random plans that the villain comes up with that randomly happen to work even though the character had no problems kicking ass before.
• Quick question, does she drum by herself? Or is she in a band or anything?
• Just to flesh out the personality a little more, I think you need to add how she feels inside, and then how others perceive her. You could even answer both of those when she's in different moods. Sometimes the way we feel inside will not be how others perceive us (actually, it happens A LOT). That's really important to making ALL of your characters seem real, especially since no one likes a book where everyone can tell what the other is thinking, everyone is super honest with each other, and everyone is constantly giving speeches about how they feel. Doesn't happen in real life. In real life, there's a hit and miss between understanding each other every day.
• "She tries not to care because she works for the government," Normally that would mean you would care?
• "United States Institution for Powered Individuals" Nice name.
• So how many husbands has she had?
• Who's Atlas and the Eternals? Also dang, her story is so intriguing! Heck, you could've written a book about her background.
• Who's side is Shadow on? For some reason, I'm getting a lot of neutral vibes. If he's neutral, does he have his own agenda?

Overall, I love this character! Keep up the good work!

Yo, just wanted to sat, that I love the fact you're doing this and going so in depth. I've been writing for a long time and have done much of the same in accounts to research. I'm a year younger (18 this year), but I happen to greatly adore character creation and world building, and the fact that there are people as in depth as me makes me really, really happy. If you ever want to chat some time I'd love to. And, I may even send in some characters for you to view!

@ThiaL Sorry, I just now saw that I missed you so I'll look at your character now!

• First off, I had to look up the definition of "deuteragonist." XD Silly me…
• I'm having trouble imagining where the headband is located, especially since you say his bangs fall in front of one of his eyes.
• If his bangs are inconvenient, why doesn't he cut 'em off?
• LOVE THE MANNERISMS GREAT JOB PUTTING IN A LOT OF 'EM.
• Motivations are also solid.
• Ditto for the flaws, you have a lot of room for them to manifest themselves in all sorts of different areas in his life.
• "Also can talk sense into people, and make them feel welcome." Aw :')
• Oh my word, his personality is so fleshed out. kisses my fingertips Very nice
• So based on the little hints I picked up, are you saying that no one bothered to teach him to overcome his dyslexia in his childhood? And is that because everyone has been relying on spells for so long?
• This story sounds so intriguing, I love how even though he had a sad background, he still retained his kind, happy personality. That makes a world of a difference for the "happy" characters, I find it so interesting when it's revealed (especially later rather than sooner) that a very content, optimistic character went through a lot of pain and hardship. It's a marvel, but also such an encouragement. Even though it is fiction. :P
• The only problem I have with the disappearance is that everyone assumed that everyone died on the island. And for no reason. The fact that you said a bunch of caretakers' bodies were found, but none of the children, made me instantly think the kids were abducted and the caretakers killed. I feel like most people would think that, too, especially since it makes more sense than someone randomly coming along to just kill everyone. So I'd suggest having them find at least one body of a child, and I think it would be realistic, too. Say, that child decided to fight back, tried to escape, maybe tried to rescue some others. So then they were killed by whomever was kidnapping them all. Now you have a reason to believe that all of them were killed. I think it'd also be realistic to have maybe the newspapers writing articles all about it and speculating on it being a kidnapping rather than a slaughter, but the Kaimi's never had that kind of hope. Maybe they thought the government could figure out WHY it all happened, but when they receive no news and the buzz in the paper dies down, they believe it to be hopeless, uncracked case.
• One more thing, I'm thinking that you could probably add some more info about how his personality and maybe even flaws were affected by his sister's "death." Or maybe you could add in something saying he's EXTRA kind to people because he knows that they could be gone tomorrow. Maybe he could suffer from rejection or something because he's actually subconsciously afraid that the person will leave like his sister did.

Overall, I love this character so much, not even kidding. He sounds like he'll be an awesome character to read about!

@LilD Awesome! I think it's cool that you love creating characters as much as I do, I'm glad, too. Characters are probably my favorite part of a story (but the plot and characters rely so heavily upon each other that it's hard to separate the two). I'd love to chat and look at you characters! And if a fellow character enthusiast like yourself would like to look at my characters, that would be sweet.

@Masterkey Thank you so much!! That really helped, REALLY!!
Basically, he wears like a sweatband kind of thing and the bangs hang over it, and he won't cut them because he thinks it looks cool xD I'll make sure I make that more clear in his bio!

@Masterkey Thank you so much!! That really helped, REALLY!!
Basically, he wears like a sweatband kind of thing and the bangs hang over it, and he won't cut them because he thinks it looks cool xD I'll make sure I make that more clear in his bio!