@Jake
Alright, Zeal seems like an interesting character. I quite like his name.
Let's start with the looks category.
Not much to say here, although in the body type section, you might want to go into more detail here, as you won't be able to say "think deku" in your book. (Quick question; do you mean midoriya from BNHA?)
Also, you say a lot that he's generally covered in dirt or something of the like. Why? Why is he always dirty? What's the reason?
Nature category:
Again, this is well explained for the most part. In the mannerisms section, you mentioned that he has some difficulty talking to people, although you do say he gets more comfortable with his companions/friends. But then you say that he's still "an awkward boyo". Did he change or no. If he was awkward at first, but gets better, yet he's still awkward, did he actually change?
You've also mentioned that he doesn't stay in shape, yet he also gets into fights and such a lot, so he is in shape. You seem to drive yourself in circles sometimes.
Anyways, I also wanted to mention Zeal's background. Go into more detail! Write out his whole story. What's happened to him? Where did his story start? Go into some details.
Other than that, you've got a pretty nice character. Hope the story turns out nicely!
Thank you! Yes I did mean midoriya and I've got a D&D session going for the story to see how it'll pan out. I'll work on the little details in the meantime.
@Jake
Cool! My friend and I love My Hero. Also, I love the D&D idea. That's super cool.
@Caboose
Alright, I like this story idea.
Joseph seems pretty cool, and you obviously have a bit of work to do, but here are some major things.
I'll ignore the lack of history and social, due to the recent creation but you ought to get more into his personality more. So he's a natural born carer. Why does he care? What specifically does he care about? What does he do when he's angry? Does he even get angry? What kind of a caring person is he? He might be the kind of person that's always looking out for others, or he could care, but not know how to express it without being controlling. You get what I'm saying?
You should also go into his looks more. How is he muscular? Upper body? Legs? All around? Is he bulky? Still fairly slim?
I mainly just wanted to mention that. Joseph seems pretty cool, just finish him up.
@Kaloobia
I LOVE CASEY.
He is so well thought out, I can tell you've been working on him for a while. I love the use of added categories, as it's quite helpful when critiquing a character, instead of reading through piles of notes.
Anyway, let's get down to business.
In the prejudices section, you've got the bad breath thing, which I love, but is there more to his prejudices? Even just simple things like other pet peeves? Or perhaps he dislikes a person he has to work with?
Other than that, I'd say you've got this guy pretty much set to go. Write this story. I will read it. Like, every day. I love this.
@Ok_Kaii
Alright, starting with Blair.
Other than maybe mentioning why he likes the colour purple and croissants, and you might wanna actually describe his personality, although it is pretty clear from the rest of his description.
Camden.
Interesting name. Is it intentionally supposed to sound like Cameron Diaz?
Same idea as Blair, other than going into his personality more, I'd say your good.
Dude thank you so much!! Will definitely work on the prejudice section.
(Also he's a character for a comic not a written story so I'm writing more of a script than anything but THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAITH AND INTEREST)
Thanks again! :-)
((Edit: I'm sorry to be back so soon, but if you have any time could I please give you another boy: Levi Satou If not that's totally fine!))
@Kaloobia
HOW DO YOU DO THIS????
Your characters are so beautifully thought out! I love them!
Anyway. Let me mention a few things.
Just things like the why behind stuff. Why does he like tigers, that sort of thing. Where did the clenching/un-clenching fist thing come from?
Other than that, he is a wonderful boy. I do love the bit about him never being cold. (I'm like that a lot of the time, it drives my friends insane.)
Also, THIS IS A COMIC IDEA!!?? (Pretty pretty please tell me if you ever get this published. I will own it and read it EVERY DAY.)
Hope I was marginally helpful! Your characters are amazing!
Aahhhh dude again thank you so much!!! That's definitely helpful don't worry :) I'll work it out.
((Also AGAIN THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAITH IN ME haha maybe in the far far future, when I have a job and when I've gone to art school and when I've actually STARTED the comic, I'll let you know ;) )) Thanks again! <3
