forum How to write a character with low self-esteem

Started April 23, 2019 by @NotSoBeautifulDiseaster group

tune

I'm trying to write a love interest with low self-esteem, how to do it without making him unlikable

You just have to figure out how to have the character make self-deprecating jokes without dragging others down. That's what I do with my low self-esteem at least…

Maybe they're genuinely positive and amazed by the qualities of the people around them and compare themselves to those people. They will tell others that their art is amazing or their hair looks especially nice today but quietly think "unlike my shitty doodles or ratty hair".
Be careful not to overdo it though, or it might look like they are only in your story to make everyone else look better.

Their mannerisms are going to be very important. Maybe they look at their feet as they walk down the hallway or have trouble making eye contact. They may also make self deprecating jokes or apologise excessively and/or say they are stupid when they make a mistake.
Hope that helps!

Thank you for the advice

In my experience, individuals with low self-esteem tend to grossly overcompensate with fairly tragic results. True they're running a tape loop in their heads saying, 'stfu, I h8 u, u piece of worthless shit' and they mean it - so often they will be searching actively to kill that tape loop.
So - any arena can be played to allay the feeling of failure.
Sex is popular because. There's no shortage of slutz - self-limiting use of their zexuality

They will attempt to stake out areas of competence and will invest their world view heavily in them. The cognitive dissonance displayed when challenged can be violent or suicidal.
If they experience success, they may attempt to overreach greedily. Few things are as annoying as a timid, perhaps assburgers syndrome subject breaking out of their shell with vigorously misplaced confidence.
So you can see, the possibilities for your character are almost unlimited depending on their energy level and mood cycling.

Also don't do the comparing to much or it will look like begging for attention. One way to avoid is not have it out loud.

With low self esteem(what I think), you criticize anything you do and think it's horrible, and once you make a mistake you remember it and reminisce over it horribly for the rest of eternity.

As a person with low self-esteem, i can tell you that you have this constant feeling you are being judged. When you are on the street, you feel as if everyone is looking at you and are judging you, and you get this huge wave of constant anxiety that makes your head hurt. You are constantly overthinking, and trying to do everything perfectly, in fear of not failing and looking like a total loser. As an artist, you keep comparing your work with others and constantly think "i suck at this, i'll never be a good artist." If something bad happens, (like breaking up with someone yoi thought was a friend) you have the gut wrenching feeling that it is entirely your fault and you wish the earth would swallow you right then and there. Eye contact is a huge problem. No matter how hard you try, your eyes dart in all directions, and you just try to stay low and pass by unoticed. If someone tells you you made a mistake, it consumes you on the inside, and it feels like you are the absolute worst person in the entire world.
The whole thing about low self esteem is that you do not think highly of yourself and you feel like everyone around you is so much better than you will ever be. It really sucks sometimes, because it can give quite the headache and the need to just stay at home in bed, away from the world
Hope this helps :0