forum How do your characters show affection?

Started May 27, 2020 by @Young-Dusty-the-Monarch-of-Dusteria group

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How easily do they like or love others? How do they show it (or say it)? Are they close with lots of people or only a few? How do they respond when their affection isn't returned?

(Will write up my own in a bit, for now I gotta run)

I'll just respond with one MC this time, and later on I'll post about the others.

Talrius: From a Love Language standpoint, Talrius enjoys actions, as words can only convey so much. He enjoys making and giving personalized gifts, sharing exeriences, and physical affection. He rarely ever says "I love you" as he feels his actions speak louder than his words ever could. Now onto the questions. Talrius is a rather likeable guy, as he tends to remain neutral on stances until after he develops a relationship with someone. Though he easily makes friends, he likes to keep them at arms-length. Only after earning his trust does he allow them in, like he did with his group (Issalok, Niserie, and Elish). Whenever he recognizes his affection, platonic or romantic, being returned, he genuinely smiles and maybe gives a hug or two.

high fives yesss join me XD

D'artagnan: Dar is both very quick to show affection and very careful not to overstep himself. He sometimes worries that his friends don't feel as close to him as he does to them, so he usually holds back a bit. If he had his way, he'd be hugging them every time he saw them, giving them gifts of food and doing little favors for them, and constantly telling them how awesome they are and how lucky he is to know them. He still does all of that, but he keeps it toned down for fear of seeming clingy.
When he eventually starts to fall for Kineta after years of being just friends, he realizes that he's finally found someone to give every ounce of his affection without wondering how she'll take it.
_{If he ever found out he loved someone who didn't love him back, he'd be heartbroken and immediately pull away, probably beating himself up about it as well.}
Kineta: Kineta is a very chill, socially confident person, and she feels she has too many enemies from her rough past to risk making any more. She shows her friends affection by watching out for them, letting them see her goofball side, and calling literally everyone "girl" or "bro" or "fam." With close friends, she's more willing to open up and show them her weakness when she needs a listening ear or a good hug. Still, there's only one person she acts sensitive or "girly" around, and that's Dar because she trusts him with her life and she's never met a guy so 100% kind and caring before. When they eventually start dating, she realizes she hugely enjoys holding hands with him and parading him around like "Yeah, this guy's taken and he's mine." XD
_{She wouldn't take it too hard if someone didn't like her back. It's a free country. she'd probably just move on but stay polite with them.}
Melanie: There's a lot of layers to this girl. On the surface, she's polite, quiet, and friendly, and she won't hesitate to show support to her friends if they seem to need it. She's very observant, and uses her ability to read people to be there for them when no one else notices they're struggling.
Underneath the surface, however, she's detached, calculating, and reserved. She only puts up a kind front because she's afraid of solitude and rejection, and everything she does is a carefully-planned attempt to make herself popular and valuable within her social circle. She doesn't really realize how manipulative she's being—in her own mind, she sees friendship as a business transaction and simply believes that if others don't feel good around her, they'll drop her like a used napkin. She fears that if she shows them just how miserable she is on the inside, they'll abandon her.
Over time, however, she starts to feebly wonder if she can open up to two of her friends in particular: Kineta and Dean. They've proven their loyalty over and over, and they seem comfortable showing anger and grief in front of her, so maybe she can trust them with the feelings she's shut away for so long. It hasn't happened yet, but I can tell you that if it does, it will involve several hours of inconsolable crying in her friends' arms.
_{Someone not returning her affection would simply confirm all her worst fears, and would send her right back to the hole of self-pity and cynicism she came from.}
Dean: Dean is the kind of girl who lives loud in order to cover up her own insecurity when it comes to showing affection. She gets flustered and embarrassed very easily if someone's nice to her, and prefers not to dwell on mushy feelings much. She shows her friends she likes them by trying to physically fight them lol. At first her friends thought she was this brash and outgoing around everyone, until they saw her with someone she hates and realized how quiet and withdrawn she gets when she's uncomfortable. She's never truly crushed on someone before, but if she did, she'd be a stuttering mess any time she saw them. She does have a soft side, but it only shows itself when one of her friends is clearly sad about something. And even then, she's still not very good at being sensitive and gentle.
_{She's very oblivious, and if someone didn't like her as much as she liked them, it would have to be spelled out to her.}
Brandon: He has levels of affection. First there's "I hate you and I'm not afraid to say it", then "I still hate you but I'll tolerate you I guess", then "Actually you're pretty cute, wanna get coffee?" then waaaay beyond that is "Somehow I trust you with my real feelings now, dangit". Around friends, he shows affection by not glaring at them as fiercely and actually helping them out with stuff (with plenty of griping and complaining). Around crushes, he's devastatingly flirty and quick-witted, always trying to make them blush. He's still not very open with them though, which means he rarely stay in a relationship for long. Around true friends (in other words, around the one person who was patient and unflappable enough to get past his many walls), he is….irritable and snarky, yes, but also knows when to quit and doesn't get as defensive when that person wants to have a serious discussion about how Brandon's really doing. He respects and even trusts this person eventually, and while he originally flirted with them a lot, now he understands their relationship goes deeper than superficial attraction. They actually like each other as people, and that's a very unfamiliar feeling for Brandon.
_{He's had many times where he flirted with someone who wasn't interested, and usually he's good at accepting their 'no', but sometimes arguments start and he says things he later regrets.}
Boar-back: Once everyone's older brother, now everyone's grandpa, this guy was born to watch out for people. He's not a softie, though, and many of the people he'd willingly kill for have no idea how much he cares about them. Frankly, he can be terrifying. But once you get to know him, you realize he shows affection through acts of service—he always makes sure his motley crew is fed and clothed and relatively happy, and he's careful to check up on them so they have everything they need. He doesn't ask them to do anything he wouldn't do himself, and when he's making decisions, he always puts his group first. Outwardly, he might seem emotionless at times, but he's a rock for a lot of people and he knows it.
Around very close friends, he's more transparent about his thoughts and feelings, but just enough to show them he trusts them. Around his crush, he has a bit of a flirty side, but mostly he enjoys the fact that he has someone to care for who won't use this show of 'weakness' against him—something he has to be careful of in his line of work. Also he loves being the only person in the world who can fluster his crush, who is a notorious player in his own right XD
_{He doesn't waste affection on those who don't want it, but on the rare occasion where someone doesn't love him back when he expected them to, it gives him pause. He almost always backs off and tries to figure out what he did wrong, because he knows he can seem very cold and intimidating and he's mature enough to admit that usually it's his fault he gets pushed away.}

That was a bit of a dump, lol. I'll probably add more later.

I've got a couple more because I have things to do and I need to procrastinate somehow x'D

Mike: Mike doesn't show affection because he almost never feels affection for others in the first place. As an extremely ace man with trust issues and a preference for solitude, he has very few friends at any point in his life, and obviously no love interests. However, once you get to know him, you'll start to realize that he does have ways of showing affection, they're just very subtle. A quick smile, maybe, or a pat on the shoulder, or perhaps he'll notice when you're upset and quietly ask if there's anything he can do. You know he really cares about someone when, if danger arises, he moves to defend his friend before defending himself. He's not one for hugging or getting drinks together or playing cards with the boys, but he's not completely devoid of the softer emotions.
Bernon: If Bernon considers himself someone's friend, they'll know right away. He's a huge social butterfly who loves meeting new people and making connections with them. He's also very softhearted and enjoys helping out, so needless to say he's pretty well-liked. His modus operandi is usually either talking or physical touch, so he does a lot of handshaking, back-slapping, hugging, hair-ruffling, etc. And he's always down to chat. Normally, he and Mike would have never made friends, because of how standoffish Mike is and how frustrated Bernon gets around quiet people. But Bernon took an entirely different approach with Mike, one that was much slower and more sensitive, and over the course of several years, he finally reached a point where Mike basically trusted him. They still have days where they rub each other the wrong way, but for the most part they actually make a good team.
Around potential crushes, Bernon's the sweetest man in the world, and very charming. His only flaw is that sometimes he moves too fast and comes across as clingy, but that's a pretty rare occurrence. He used to struggle a lot with crippling loneliness and a related case of seasonal depression, but these days he's in a much more stable situation and has plenty of people to lean on.
Enni: As an eight-year-old child, she loudly declares her affection with no fear of rejection or concern for potential repercussions. She hugs people all the time and gleefully says "I love you!" to her friends and family at any opportunity. If anyone said they didn't love her as much as she loved them, she would probably cry TvT
Blue Tommy: Can't (or won't) speak, prefers his food raw, and may be completely off his rocker. He doesn't like people as a general rule, but if he respects or trusts someone, he shows it by:
-not stabbing them
-"smiling" (aka showing them ALL his teeth in a frightening grimace)
-offering to share his meals with them
-feeling relaxed enough to doze in their presence
-hissing at anyone who might be bothering them
-going to the trouble of trying to communicate his thoughts and feelings to them
Yeah. He's tolerant of most of the people he lives with, but it's Boar-back who really understands him. Blue Tommy is possibly Boar-back's most loyal follower, and would do just about anything if the order came from him.

Soraso isn't a very loving guy. This surprised me, but it makes his actions in book three make more sense. He really doesn't show affection that much. He has a romantic side. But it takes a long time for that to show up. With the way he was raised, even friendship is a bit odd to him and he carries almost a "My worthy colleagues" to showing affection. Pretty much if he purposefully sticks around you for a while on multiple occasions when he could be doing something else, that means you hold his interest and though he wouldn't know that, you are now his friend. You know he loves you for real when he makes minor sacrifices for you (heroics don't count at all.)

_{Oh my gosh is he me??? No he isn't. Thank goodness. Runs in used to have a self insert.}

Azami: Azami gives hugs to a select few people; her crew(especially her brother and the cook), and really good friends, her older brother or parental figures. Her love language is mainly touch, and even though she's not dating anybody, she shows platonic affection often. Around some people, she finds that words aren't needed, which is rare for her outgoing self. She'll often sacrifice herself for her loved ones without a second thought, and she tries to make gifts and do favors when around other people. Alone, she's much more cuddly and will stick with her loved one.

Jax: She doesn't really love anybody romantically, but she sees her captain as a father figure and her crewmates as friends. She offers gifts and hugs constantly, being the little ball of joy and sunshine that she usually is. Jax is very protective, and would do anything to keep her captain safe, even though he's over a decade older than her.

Tori: Tori shows affection by standing up for the people she cares about, and is always there for them when they need it. She'll support them in battle, and keep them out of trouble. She shows genuine affection to about four people, and if you're outside of those four, then chances are, she's treating you as an acquaintance rather than a friend.

None of these are regarding romantic love, more familial/platonic. There might be one romance in this story, but I'm still working on it. All of these characters are a sort of "crew" living together in some bad circumstances.

Seren, the captain: Strictly tough-love. A protector at heart, she doesn't have time for too much mushy wordy stuff. She takes care of the whole crew, looking out for them, making sure their needs are met even if she isn't the one to meet them. She knows what's best for the fam, even if they don't like it. I guess her love language would be acts of service. She becomes a little more soft when it comes to her best friend and right hand man, Larc. When they're together, she can open up about her worries and concerns regarding the fam and their situation. They've been through hell and back together, so they have a special connection. She adores him more than anyone else (again, not romantically).

Larc, the first mate: Larc is much more soft and gushy when it comes to love. Like Seren, he's very protective and is prepared to fight for his crew, but he tends to veiw love as more of an emotional thing. He expresses his love for his friends with gifts and acts of service, usually resulting in a lot of baking. He also expresses through words. Honey, sweetie, baby, gorgeous, and darling are all frequents in his vocabulary. He's always down to sit down and talk through someone's problems, usually providing advice. Through thick and thin, he's there to remind the whole fam of how much they love each other, kind of the glue that holds them together. Larc doesn't see this as a burden, though. He loves love.

1302, the stowaway: 13 has complications when it comes to love. He already has a hard time identifying his emotions and trusting people. He understands love is good and neccessary, but has a hard time dealing with it. He tries his best to express his appreciation for Seren and Larc, for putting up with him all the time. He worries the most about expressing his love for his little brother, 1104. They have a tragic past, part of which 13 feels guilty for. He wants 04 to have a clear understanding that he's loved, but can't find the words to say it. Ultimately, he's scared to say it because he's unsure if he has the capacity to show it, to act out his promise of love. Still, his passion for his makeshift family spills over when he's drunk.

1104, the impossible boy: 1104 has lived in isolation most of his life. Though he had plenty of time to watch TV and read, he still hasn't quite grasped real life love. He definitely experiences it, and gladly so, but doesn't explicitly understand it. He can't put it into words, and has trouble making the connection between the urge to sacrifice for another and that giddy, affection feeling. Eventually though, he connects a few dots and his "family" dynamic starts to click. He looks up to Seren, Larc, and 13, and begins to trust them. He finds physical touch to be his best outlet for his love, because it's simple and blatant, and doesn't require so much thought. Even though he's a teen, he likes to hold hands with Larc, lay on Seren, and hug 13 often. Sometimes, he won't let go.

Kind of sporadic, word-vomity writing, but I think I've got my points across.

Barikev is freaking adorable. He is so open is just great. He chose his tunzil (like caste or rank) based on the fellowship involved. (Which is awesome because he basically renounced his social princehood –not that he had a lot to begin with, being biracial– so he could have more friends.)
He's the type that can't help falling in love with everyone, except only platonically. It's pretty easy to tell if he loves you. He will go out of his way to make your day pleasant. He's the kind of guy that if he saw you he would think back to when you mentioned your favorite flower and grab you one immediately–because as soon as he saw a patch he would mark it in his mind for such an occasion.

Vi Tun’Li is the type of lover that takes a really long time to warm up. She comes off as the type of lover that keeps things very professional, however that’s not quite the case in some situations. She’s not afraid to pick up her lover and surprise hug them, once mutual trust is a given. However she most likely won’t do this in the public, not being a fan of PDA - which was hard for her human lover to accept at first. With knowledge that there is a stigma around human-alien relationships, she’s a bit hesitant in showing affection, but moves to try and break that stigma over time.
Non romantically, platonic affection for her is pretty simple. Don’t bare your teeth, smile without showing teeth. Gentle eye contact, not demanding. Showing her trust in her friends and helping them. She’s not one for physical touch between friends - generally, only clan members preform physical touch as a means of affection towards each other, however this is just a tradition.
It’s quite easy to see who Vi sees as friend by listening to her voice, looking at her features (how she holds herself around people, her eyes, stance, etc)

Opeli Mumk is the lover to see someone and keep chasing them for ages, even if they reject his affections. Enter; being a near-immortal species.
Opeli shows his affection through gifts. Value of gifts, rather. Medium value stuff is reserved for friends, while high value stuff is reserved for The One.
Strangers don’t get gifts.
Affection for him is touch. Being up and close.

Damian Zinon Georgiy doesn’t show affection towards just anyone. But when he does, it’s also pretty physical touch. Damian would never, ever admit it, but he does enjoy cuddling.
In general, affection for him could just be talking about interests. Sitting on the floor with that friend, just talking. Or not, maybe just sitting together in silence. In general, while he is hesitant to show affection, he can be quite lovely and considerate about it, as well as being adapting.

(Aww we all need a Barikev in our lives)

He is so wonderful. 10/10 good boi. Unfortunately he undergoes a bloody kidnapping and never completely recovers.

(Aww we all need a Barikev in our lives)

He is so wonderful. 10/10 good boi. Unfortunately he undergoes a bloody kidnapping and never completely recovers.

D:
Welp, author's gotta do what an author's gotta do.

Yeah. But he and his wife mostly recover from it. But when he found her again you can guess emotions were high.

Yeah. But he and his wife mostly recover from it. But when he found her again you can guess emotions were high.

That's kind of similar to 1302 and 1104. 1104 got separated after an accident for five years, and 13 thought he was dead. The reunion was ~dramatic~.

Yeah they were separated for less than a month. But it was obvious he had been taken by his tribes greatest enemies, so the most rational thing to assume was that he would've been tortured to death upon delivery to the Gobé-Lin territory.

dAnG

Yeah. But he and his wife mostly recover from it. But when he found her again you can guess emotions were high.

That's kind of similar to 1302 and 1104. 1104 got separated after an accident for five years, and 13 thought he was dead. The reunion was ~dramatic~.

That's exactly like what happened with Azami and one of her older brothers
But for 12 years instead of 5

dAnG

Yeah. Have you seen the sad scenes chat? I finally finished the scene where his wife comes to term with it and posted it there. Jyn said it was good, so I think it might be.

That's exactly like what happened with Azami and one of her older brothers
But for 12 years instead of 5

Yiiiikes.