forum Give me your child for InSpEcTiOn!! (closed)

Started April 15, 2020 by Caboose

tune

*Breathes in heavily. IF YOU KNEW IT WAS CLOSED WHY WOULD YOU EVEN TRY!?!?! ARGGGHHRRRHHH

*snatches profile. My zoom chat ends at 3:30. This means you've earned more shit jokes than the others.

If you don't want to look at her then don't? there's no need to be rude :)

Alrighty lets have a look, mhmm skip to nature, annndd lots of words mmmmm detail.
Okay so she's stuck in the basic bitch life because she's afraid to step out of it due to social conformity? Nice. Now controversy but I haven't seen the original Carrie but in the new version there is a character similar to this. All the girls basically bully the ever living shit out of Carrie and I forget her name but she's the only one who tries to make amends and in the end is the only one who understood Carrie. My main point is she's similar in that she's stuck as a basic high school bitch even if only for a little.

Okay I read a little more and the case of basic bitch has risen from moderate to severe, like I can smell it now.
And sex IS a talent. I think it's interesting that she gives good advice. It's uncharacteristic in a good way if you choose to go the way of Stella obtaining her own identity and personality. Like she starts off basic bitch but gradually progresses into a compassionate, honest person. Like for photography a simple idea for her changing could be her starting to take photos of other people rather than herself, and maybe like full on artistic earth porn style photos. I dunno just an interesting thought.

SO I JUST SCROLLED PAST THE BIT WHERE THIS BITCH HAS DEAD FRIENDS AND POWERS!!! Oh this is a whole new ball park. *cracks knuckles. This just got fun.

Okay so the whole cult thing, she gets given away to clearly not so good god for lets say 3-4 years since she started walking then hit age 6 when she was sent home. That would mean her earliest memories would be of whatever that experience was unless it was purged from her mind due to trauma which happens. Also is it like a hell dimension or cult lab?

This Aaron guy I dunno anything about him but just a thought, he could really challenge her type. Like you said beefy jock boys, I'm not talking go complete polar opposite and shoot for the nerd but the guy who's a more natural chill dude who most people like. The interesting thing about him could be he see's right through her and basically holds back until he can tell she's genuine. I know another cliche but it could really work here if you add some of your own personal pep to it. He could always be the stoner and if you go that route make him a scout. Scouts are party animals sex, drugs you name it just not popular at least that's what it's like in Australia.

I always skip right ahead to nature because I don't critique that sort of stuff but did I just read the Dream Team? This shit's got superheroes? Is she in a team or is she the lead in her own? Also what are her powers? (You don't necessarily have to share them if you want that to be a mystery within the plot like Klaus in Umbrella Academy where he shows a game changing ability in the final episode. )

Star signs aren't a good show of personality right now you don't need a star sign you've already done a good job in expressing this character to me. Overall good fuckin job. You got me thinking and rambling. Also tell us a little bit about her gradual change, like does the death of a friend suddenly shake her and she suddenly has nothing, no basic bitch to switch back to and no personality of her own. So while the plot happens she explores her natural self.
This child has been properly inspected and gets stamp of approval.

Alrighty lets have a look, mhmm skip to nature, annndd lots of words mmmmm detail.
Okay so she's stuck in the basic bitch life because she's afraid to step out of it due to social conformity? Nice. Now controversy but I haven't seen the original Carrie but in the new version there is a character similar to this. All the girls basically bully the ever living shit out of Carrie and I forget her name but she's the only one who tries to make amends and in the end is the only one who understood Carrie. My main point is she's similar in that she's stuck as a basic high school bitch even if only for a little.

Okay I read a little more and the case of basic bitch has risen from moderate to severe, like I can smell it now.
And sex IS a talent. I think it's interesting that she gives good advice. It's uncharacteristic in a good way if you choose to go the way of Stella obtaining her own identity and personality. Like she starts off basic bitch but gradually progresses into a compassionate, honest person. Like for photography a simple idea for her changing could be her starting to take photos of other people rather than herself, and maybe like full on artistic earth porn style photos. I dunno just an interesting thought.

SO I JUST SCROLLED PAST THE BIT WHERE THIS BITCH HAS DEAD FRIENDS AND POWERS!!! Oh this is a whole new ball park. *cracks knuckles. This just got fun.

Okay so the whole cult thing, she gets given away to clearly not so good god for lets say 3-4 years since she started walking then hit age 6 when she was sent home. That would mean her earliest memories would be of whatever that experience was unless it was purged from her mind due to trauma which happens. Also is it like a hell dimension or cult lab?

This Aaron guy I dunno anything about him but just a thought, he could really challenge her type. Like you said beefy jock boys, I'm not talking go complete polar opposite and shoot for the nerd but the guy who's a more natural chill dude who most people like. The interesting thing about him could be he see's right through her and basically holds back until he can tell she's genuine. I know another cliche but it could really work here if you add some of your own personal pep to it. He could always be the stoner and if you go that route make him a scout. Scouts are party animals sex, drugs you name it just not popular at least that's what it's like in Australia.

I always skip right ahead to nature because I don't critique that sort of stuff but did I just read the Dream Team? This shit's got superheroes? Is she in a team or is she the lead in her own? Also what are her powers? (You don't necessarily have to share them if you want that to be a mystery within the plot like Klaus in Umbrella Academy where he shows a game changing ability in the final episode. )

Star signs aren't a good show of personality right now you don't need a star sign you've already done a good job in expressing this character to me. Overall good fuckin job. You got me thinking and rambling. Also tell us a little bit about her gradual change, like does the death of a friend suddenly shake her and she suddenly has nothing, no basic bitch to switch back to and no personality of her own. So while the plot happens she explores her natural self.
This child has been properly inspected and gets stamp of approval.

thank you for looking at her! Im sorry for posting here knowing it was closed, I didn't think it would be a big deal and that it could just be ignored, that on me my bad.
honestly you hit all the "predictions" on the head, her friend dying does throw her and Aaron is the child stoner who is friends with everyone :))
after the whole thing, the god plants false memories in her and her brothers' brains, so the only one that knows about this happening is Stella's parents.
and her power is turning invisible :))
again thank you for taking a look at her!!

You made a big mistake my dude

The only mistake here is named Clementine.

Okay for real I'ma start reading now. Okay first thing, it's not a good idea to put her in charge of anything but she is in charge? Is her arc her stepping up to become a good leader. You haven't told us why she gets to lead or why she's in charge. Is it like Harry Potter where he's only in charge because people choose to support him?
I think a sense of her bond with animals and people is necessary to understand her better. Also who is she leading? You should utilize the notes section and just blast it with ideas you have and reasons for the things you've put here.
Overall pretty good character, is definitely a work in progress tho, so keep on going.

The only reason she’s in charge is because everyone fought over who was in charge so she kept on screaming I’m in charge at the top of her lungs ‘till they all caved in an let her