put your characters' birthday into google and follow it with "florida man" and find a truly flabbergasting headline
Paisley: September 30th: Bible thumping: Florida man accused of throwing holy book at deputy
Abel: February 6th: Florida Man Accused of Shoplifting After Stuffing Crossbow Down His Pants in Hardware Store (really the epitome of "what's in your pants?" "a knife")
Rhyda: March 27th: Florida man in green pajamas decides to eat pancake breakfast in middle of busy street.
Shea: October 16th: Southwest Florida Man Dressed as Spider-Man, Stole Credit Cards Inside Grocery Store
Grace: November 10th: Florida police arrest legally blind man whose cane they mistook for a gun
Felix: August 5th: Florida man arrested for slapping his pregnant wife when he saw her smoking a cigarette (the florida man's name was Felix,,, ironically)
Bianca: September 9th: A Florida man tried to plant a banana tree in the middle of the road because he was tired of potholes. (so passive aggressive, very Bianca)
Drew: December 1st: Florida man tries to escape police on stand-up scooter, then jumps in water (this is so funny because this is literally the opposite of what Drew would do and the exact thing my protag for another story (Midge) would do)
Crimson: June 22nd: Florida man carrying nearly 500 grams of weed tries to steal an airplane to meet his girlfriend
Jeb: April 7th: Florida man threatens to destroy everyone with an army of turtles
Cagney: January 19th: A man living in Florida wanted to have his brother killed and hired a hit man (frighteningly accurate to her character)
Sophie + Micheal: May 25: Florida man charged for hitting daughter in the face with pizza
Ava: October 6: A brave Florida man risked his life in Hurricane Matthew to yell "Dicks out for Harambe" during a live television report.
Charlie: Jan 10: Florida man arrested after argument over cheesesteak
Lucas: Feb 28: Florida man who allegedly threatened a family with Coldplay lyrics
Jax: March 1: Florida Man Arrested For Dumping 30 Mattresses & Box Springs Along Street
Matthew: Sept 4: Florida Man flashes buttocks at IHOP after impersonating a police officer to get free food
Bonus Mode:
Margret: March 7: Florida man jailed after trying to 'barbecue all the child molesters
William: Dec 12: Florida Man Arrested For Throwing Sausages At His Mother
Hector (march 14): Florida man hits pregnant girlfriend with bag of tortilla chips
Kenzo (December 28th): 22 men posed naked to send a stunning Peace message to the American people
Silvia (June 19): Florida man, 72, tries to mow down neighbor with tractor during dispute
(well now i'm just wondering if any of them would do it)
Amethyst (June 3rd): florida man arrested for throwing a cheeseburger at a pregnant woman
Anjanii (April 1st): florida man nicknamed ‘Babycakes’ caught naked in a chair outside apartment complex
Aphrodite (March 25th): florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by throwing it on roof of bar
Cloud (May 27th): florida man kicked chicken like 'a field goal,’ deputies say
Cyrus (October 2nd): florida man arrested after he allegedly offered a woman $200,000 to buy her young daughter at a florida Walmart
Daitan (August 2nd): florida man jailed after dispute over hedgehog leads to armed confrontation
Ezra (August 6th): florida man bites off friend’s ear in fight over woman in wheelbarrow, police say
Iggy (May 19th): florida man arrested after falling asleep on sofa of home police say he burglarized
Jac (November 25th): mostly naked florida man accused of spreading feces during school break-in
Komé (March 8th): florida man tells traffic cop Putin made him speed
Maleficent (January 20th): florida man attempts to hide underwater from cops, gets arrested after coming up for air, police say
Michiya (April 1st): florida man arrested after allegedly breaking into office, leaving sign in window saying ‘Secretary wanted, $17/hour' (there was also an article about a florida man catching & cooking a baby squirrel that i couldn't access :(( )
Paige (February 29th): florida man arrested after allegedly trying to turn his apartment into an indoor shooting range
Sash (January 30th): florida man charged with attempting to “barbecue” child molesters (no he would though)
Shiina (October 31st): florida man takes epic mugshot after driving naked near school with wires attached to penis
Terra (July 4th): florida man pretends to be firework, screams noises in middle of night (realistic)
Tricky (no recorded birth date, chosen randomly): florida man breaks into joe's crab shack, steals alcohol, leaves poop as payment
Vesper (July 2nd): deputies arrest florida man dressed as pirate for firing musket at cars
Zephyr (no recorded birth date, chosen randomly): florida man thinks his shopping cart is a street legal car
I LOVE THIS IDEA-
Alastor (May 17th)- Florida man in ape mask used sledgehammer to rob laundromat, deputies say
Collyn (July 24th)- Florida Man Shows Off Gun, Accidentally Shoots Himself
Fraser M. (June 20th)- Florida man pulled gun at Starbucks over cream cheese
Kuroko (January 15th)- Florida man threatens to kill neighbours with 'kindness' (accurate)
Malcolm (October 28th)- Florida man arrested after leaving a pizza trail of clues for deputies
Robert (December 6th)- Florida man busted for public sex with dog, wrecking church nativity scene
Zackery Hi. (February 20th)- Florida man said he was ‘high and happy’ during DUI traffic stop, deputies say (real)
Willbur (September 2nd)- Florida Man Takes Date On Police Chase
Rayla (Unknown) Florida woman in leopard print negligée spotted terrifying locals at the pool.
Trianna (July 18) Florida woman found dry humping the corpse of an ancient titan, says "Hey, don't judge, I like big dicks!"
Reyna (November 1) Florida woman pulls 7 inch long knife out of skull after getting into a bar fight, local doctors say she should be brain dead
Wren (Undetermined lol) Florida person found dead after being shot 42 times through a computer screen
i'm also gonna list if they would do it or not XD
titus (june 13) - Florida man arrested after video shows him dragging woman's lifeless body
he would!
cyrille (september 2) - Florida man arrested for dumping dead animals at a Parkland memorial
…she might. it depends on the context.
wade (august 20) - Florida man arrested after allegedly performing botched castration on man
yeah unfortunately he would… under certain circumstances
annie (april 25) - Florida man rescued after trying to ride inflatable bubble to Bermuda
she would not????
manta (october 19) - Florida man uses finger guns to steal Waffle House napkins, deputies say
i feel like they would but they wouldn't know what they were doing
skelley (october 24) - Florida man jumped into St. Johns River to evade authorities after leading them on chase, deputies say
i think they would under the right circumstances
ian (march 5) - Fleeing Florida motorcyclist flips off police before getting hit by truck
yeah.
tex (september 17) - Florida man charged with accidentally shooting bear that was trying to eat his trash
yes, he wouldn't "accidentally" shoot it though
rooney (april 4) - Florida man accused of beating a shark with a hammer arrested
YES HE WOULD THIS IS LITERALLY PERFECT HAHAHA
odessa (june 21) - Florida Man Whacks Hissing Alligator With Pan In Viral Video
yes. one hundred percent she would do this
benny (january 26) - Florida man who punched dog outside of gas station sentenced to 36 months
he would never punch a dog :(((
salem (december 1) - Florida man fatally stabs mom because she 'never pushed him to be a man'
this is actually really sad bc she's trans :(((( she wouldn't.. i think
Ariadne (March 19) - Hot sauce saves Florida man after car crashes into Taco Bell
Hildegard (November 15) - Florida Man Calls 911 During Police Chase And Asks For Donald Trump
Cassandra (March 28) - Florida Man gets tackled by 4 spring breakers after an attempted robbery at gas station
Coral (August 5) - Florida man arrested for slapping his pregnant wife when he saw her smoking a cigarette
Gabriella (October 31) - Florida man arrested for armed robbery steals Oreos and soda
Nicoletta (December 11) - Florida man arrested for beating and throwing chair at child in doughnut dispute
andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) (November 2): Florida man accused of driving SUV into ex-wife's home
Canarie (November 2): Florida woman accused of drunken driving on horse
Rin (April 17): Florida woman pulls gator from pants during traffic stop
Jackie (October 20): Naked Florida man with crossbow who claimed aliens were after him
Iris (April 4): Florida woman stuffed plastic Easter eggs with dead rats (original was actually pornography)
Leo (May 4): Florida man charged with battery after slapping girlfriend with cheeseburger (??????????)
Benny (August 6): Drunk Florida man goes on beer run with gator
Birdy (December 25): Florida woman with plastic gun robs mail carrier, rides off
Jóse (September 29): 'Sorry-I-Tased-You' cake doesn't cut it for Florida woman
Krow (January 14): 'Kill 'Em With Kindness': Florida Man Stabs Neighbor
Addic (nov 28) Florida man masturbating in parking lot slugs elderly man
Biscuit (Jun 19) Florida man pulled a gun on a drive-thru worker because they forget the cream cheese with his bagel
August (March 9) Florida man who nearly hit a gas pump pulled out a package of “Dank Gummies” instead of his driver's license to show a deputy
Cassia (July 9) Florida man was arrested Saturday after leading deputies on a chase riding a John Deere riding lawn mower
Leo (sep 14) Florida man travels to Myrtle Beach to head bg during Hurricane Florence
**Lev (Apr 23) Florida Man In Easter Bunny Brawl Is A Fugitive & Talks About His Furry Fist Fight
Maia (Jan 29) Florida man was arrested at Florida Down Under zoo on January 29th for assaulting a lion with his broken umbrella
Olivia (Aug 31) Florida man arrested, accused of giving girlfriend a wet Willy
Tao (Jan 13) Florida man is accused of pulling a gun on restaurant employees when his online order of chicken wings was nearly an hour late
Violet (Feb 26) Florida woman is facing second-degree murder charges after she zipped her boyfriend inside a suitcase and left him in there for several
