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Critique my first two chapters (I added Chapter 3)
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tune
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@betsy.cant.write
(maybe switch this thread to sharing and critiques, it shouldn't really be in the character section)
@betsy.cant.write
(also don't just post random stuff to keep this thread at the top, that's just annoying)
@Oakiin
Hey hey Blossom! Got a few words of advice for ya on your chapter three
Really, the main problem is not paragraph breaks! This ain't good, because your reader will very quickly just start to skim read, and get impatient, tying to figure out who's talking when.
Here's a simple rule for paragraphs: TIPTOP. There should be a change in paragraph every time there's a change of or new:
Time
Idea
Place
Topic
Objective
Perspective
Otherwise, you've got a cool story going! I would advise you slow it down a little, add more description, and really take your time with the characters and story. Pick up your favorite book and count how many pages are in each chapter. That might be a good number to use as a reference for your own work.
Otherwise, you're doing great!