Hi, so I just was wanting some people to (gentlyish) critique my characters. Yes, I realize there are a lot, and these aren't even all. I mostly just want critiques for Buck (my main character), but I would love some of the other four! If you have any questions about their magic/how their world works, feel free to ask!
Buck (Main Character): Buck Sanderson
Avani: Avani Jaearto
Kindle: Kindle Grey
Skye: Skye Havens
Tempest: Tempest Kiere
Thank you so much! :)
Alright, I'll give it a shot (I'll try to be gentle but idk where the line is drawn whoOps)
Buck-
Overview
Pretty good here! Nothing too vague or anything.
Looks
Oof, pretty risky to put the words "i don't know" when creating a character. (He's your character, you could give him everything you need to know about him down to the blood type!) I noticed you didn't have his height either, but that can factor in to his weight! The average weight for a 17 year old should be around 130-150 lbs., but it also depends on his height. The description of his hair, eyes, and skin are good, but a little general. There are other shades of white, (pale, olive, tan,) ya know? And it might also help to identify where the scars and freckles are. (And what kind of scars)
Nature
The nature tab is good, but I think it needs a bit more structure. While this is exceptional, it only gives a general idea of who he is, also, you might need to add a few more flaws, but make sure they don't contradict any other aspects about him! (for instance, it says he has a talent for planning, but one of his flaws is acting before he thinks. maybe change one of the two). Loving the character so far!
Social
If he doesn't have a religion, he'd be agnostic (or Atheist) and if you want to get really in depth, explain why he's not religious. was he never introduced to a religion? is he just not interested? another good tip; with all of the favorites, ask yourself "why is this his favorite?" and then add the answer. it helps give depth to the character.
History
Wow, this is quite a story. I might make a few comments that'll be answered in later characters, but oh well. first of all, who (or what) is Ravenna? How is she capable of taking down so many villages with armies? How well are they trained, and how unstoppable is Ravenna? surely she must have a weakness, else she could enter the territory of a Mary Sue. How does Leilson pertain to the story? Who is he to Buck? What is Leilson's story? to take it further, what is Ravenna's story? what is Edric's story? All of these things could add another dimension to your story.
Magic
Good extra tab to explain his magical powers, but it might help to specify what types of elemental magic he's capable of. Can he bend water, earth, fire, and air? can he manifest these things? how short of a length of time has he known about it? does he plan on practicing at all, despite being prejudice against it?
Overall, I really like this character. He sounds like a very lovable guy and I'm excited to see where he goes! The most general tip I often use on myself when creating a character (or even developing one) is to ask the question, "Why?"
I'll try to do the other characters next, but it might take me a bit, sorry haha.
Avani-
Overview
Wow! That age sure caught my attention. Also! Who gave her the nicknames? Which does she prefer to go by? Does she dislike any of the nicknames? Bit of help to add some background to her.
Looks
Not a lot of weight, but still helps to give a visual by specifying. The description is pretty good! I like the lopsided smile. It really does help to add minor details that not everyone has.
Nature
Why is she distrustful of strangers? I understand it's a standard prejudice, but adding a reason could certainly give Avani some depth. Having a bossy character might lead to other aspects about her. Is she a perfectionist? is she a bit of a "let me do it" leader or a "micro-manager" leader, or maybe something else? there are many ways one could take control.
Social
Again, you could give some backstory to why she's atheist. Also, i'm not quite sure how elemental is a political stance, or an occupation, but if it is, it couldn't hurt to explain. The favorites in this tab are wonderful! it adds a bit of individuality and explanation to why it'd be her favorite.
History
hey, look at that! an explanation for her nickname! guess i shoulda waited before i said anything whoOPs. also wow, I suppose I know who Ravenna is now, (if that's the same person) this history is actually pretty good! i like how well it answers questions without being subtle. nothing too wrong here!
Magic
okay i only made this part so i could say i totally read "she was born with it" and then thought, "maybe it's maybelline" other than that ur magic tab is gucci thanks
Alrighty so i love Avani tbh, she reminds me of one of my characters actually! bit bossy, likes to take control of things, but a heart of gold once you get past the "i'll kick anyone's ass" layer. Good job!
Thank you so much! I'll definitely look into what you've said about them! And Avani is one of my favorites as well. As for Buck and who Leilson is to him, Leilson is one of his best friends, and takes the place of secondary character. I didn't ask for a review for Leilson because I felt that he didn't need one, as a result he is not on this list.