forum Critique Her Please?

Started April 21, 2018 by @Celestial-B

tune

Can someone critique her possibly? I need a second opinion because I tend to miss a lot of things on my own characters lol.

Thank you!

First, I think she's really skinny for her age, unless that's what you were going for. The average weight for someone her age and height would be around 140 lb.
Second, give her something that she just can't stand. Something that no matter how hard she tries to contain herself, everytime, never ceasing, it pushes her of the edge
Third, I feel like she doesn't have a true struggle. I think that to make her a little bit more believable, you may have to give her something that she truly hates. But over all she is a very kind character, and she's really adorable. And there is nothing wrong with the way you made her, this is just my opinion. The fact that she doesn't have any grudges reminds me of one of my friends. He can't hold grudges no matter how much he dislikes the person, so the only grudge he has ever held was with blueberries (yes like the fruit) after he ate a bad one

But as I said, you don't have to change anything about her, she's cute

Thank you for the tips! Her weight was just a guess because I was just being too lazy to look up the average weight for someone her age heh, i'll go ahead and fix that.
Since I literally made her yesterday, there are some things like the stuff you mentioned that are still under development. But when I do figure them out i'll be sure to put them down! Again, thanks for the critique!

Of course! :) Happy to help
Could you do one of mine?

Sure!

Which one would you like me to do?

So there might be a few parts where I stopped in the middle of the sentence, and some of it might not make sense but here she is Samara Alevi

First, what color of red is her hair? Auburn? Ginger? Honey? And the same goes with her eyes. What shade of green? Forest? Emerald? Sea Green? You only mentioned two flaws (i'm not really counting hating spiders as a flaw, thats just more of an oppinion), no one has only two flaws; give her more! Is she stubborn? Blunt? Lazy? Here is a list of flaws I use when creating my characters – https://writerswrite.co.za/123-ideas-for-character-flaws/ I suggest giving her at least 5-6 flaws! Why does she hate her family so much and why is she okay with her father? Does she have any other talents besides something that involves fighting? Does she like to dance? Sing? Cook? Ohhh Her best friend is also her enemy… and love interest? That sounds interesting. No backstory?? What?? Even if it is unknown to the readers and such, this site is for you to put down what you know, not for anyone else. So you should know what her backstory is, I suggest putting it down!
Anyways, I think she could be a pretty decent character if you just fix a few things! Good luck and hope I helped!

Yeah, I know I have a lot to put in. (BTW, what exactally are 'mannerisms'? I don't quite understand that area) I personally have her whole self in my head, I'm just not sure what goes where or how to get it out sometimes. But her fear of spiders is basically paralyzing.
Thanks though, I thought that she was my most complete character LOL

Its fine, thats how I was when I made my first couple characters. A mannerism is a habitual gesture or way of speaking or behaving. So for example, 'Cracks knuckles when nervous' would be one!

No problem, again thanks for the tips on mine.

Could I send you a couple others?

Sure, can't promise i'll get to them all today though.

totally fine. I understand (I should be doing homework right now anyways XD)

They are both on private x3 Please turn them off of private then i'll be able to look at them

I thought they were on public, sorry. I've been having trouble turning it on and off. I don't know why

Its fine, but they are still on private. Do you know how to turn them off?

Yeah, but when I click on it, it won't switch off

hmm Idk then lol

@Evelena that blueberry thing, mad my fluffing day XD

made not made -_-

made not mad
mad note made
I cannot….. -_- I give up XD

the vibe i'm feeling from this character is……."must protecc" she would be a perfect companion for my character Vahvuun(A Strong big ol softie that likes to knit)

Lol xD Pretty much.