forum (Closed! ALL OF THE KIDS WERE AWESOME! ) CAN I CRITIQUE YOUR CHILDREN
Started by @Torpion language
tune

people_alt 63 followers

@Kaloobia

@Kaloobia Dude it is so hard to find helpful criticism for your characters, they're so dynamic :0
One quick question about her name: How is it pronounced?

And her accent: What kind of accent does she have? When is it most noticeable, like is it more prominent when she's yelling at somebody? Bilinguals tend to get heavier accents when they're stressed and not paying as much attention to pronouncing the words correctly. This is a super tiny detail thats probably not very important, but it could be a fun thing to add :D

Also she strikes me as a tea drinker am I wrong

Ok I just read the favorite food thingy and it says tEA hA I KNEW IT

Is she a perfectionist, btw? She seems kinda like a perfectionist, idk

Okay, when she was a child, why did she have a usual sour look on her face? What made her feel that way? Also, does her backstory have another event that motivates her to combat crime? The story I read in the background category was- ahem, written with a pen of gold- but didn't seem to be so significant as to motivate her to do what she does.

Alright, other than that she's flawless. 11/10.

Dude thank you so much for your feedback and copious compliments haha!!
Her name is pronounced with a hard G like "gold", and I believe with emphasis on the second syllable?
Details about accent, check.
More prominent details and events in backstory, check. ALSO WOW THANK YOU I had a lot of fun writing that backstory in, like, story-telling format I'm glad it comes off well! :))

Thanks again!! I appreciate it a lot <3

@Torpion language

@Kinarymo Holy heck, how do I even critique Avatar?? He's sooo detailed! I couldn't find any flaws with his profile, but I do have a couple of suggestions: You described what kind of things would break him, but what kind of things would make him scared or uncomfortable? How's his sense of humor, and does he have good stamina? Any foods he prefers/avoids? These are incredibly small things that aren't very necessary, but I'm just trying to give you something useful here, haha- He's a very dynamic and interesting character, A++

Btw that artwork is 27/10, im shook :0

@Torpion language

Are you currently free right now to critique mine? If not, that's completely fine and I'll return when you're ready xx

throw me ur children, im ready

@Kinarymo

@Torpion Ayy thank u, i'm glad u like him q3q I'll try add some of those details o3o <3
In the meantime, if it's okay, can i send another bab?
This is Rin, if u wanna look at him q3q

@Torpion language

@SunGod Bruh, Boss is a boss :0

For his height, could we get an exact measurement? I love the height comparisons and I think u should keep those, but I would recommend adding an exact height as well- Same deal with the weight 👍

Okie I so when u say "The demons were very mocking of this, but he doesn't mind. It meant that everyone sort of forgot about his problems once he stopped talking about them, aside from his friends, and he was able to largely carry on as normal." it feels like an incomplete explanation. Why didn't he mind? Doesn't he want the demons to stop talking to him? Why would he just let everybody forget about his problems? Maybe he just wants to be treated normal, but does this mean that being treated like a normal person is more important to him than silencing the demons? Maybe he just doesn't care tho, lol

In talents, "stopping arguments" doesn't seem to align very smoothly with his bold personality, but I suppose I could see it working with the darker side of his personality, like when he's alone with the demons.

This one is more of a suggestion than a critique: I'd like to know more about his outside image, like what people outside his friend group thing of him- And how does this affect him, like is he self-conscious about what other people think of him, or does he give no craps?

lol I actually laughed about his favorite weapon

Okay, wow- other than that, I'd say he's solid! He's a very dynamic character and his personality is pretty sound. I feel like his behavior and personality are logical when compared to the struggles he goes through, and he was very interesting! Great job!

@Oakiin

@SunGod Bruh, Boss is a boss :0

For his height, could we get an exact measurement? I love the height comparisons and I think u should keep those, but I would recommend adding an exact height as well- Same deal with the weight 👍

Okie I so when u say "The demons were very mocking of this, but he doesn't mind. It meant that everyone sort of forgot about his problems once he stopped talking about them, aside from his friends, and he was able to largely carry on as normal." it feels like an incomplete explanation. Why didn't he mind? Doesn't he want the demons to stop talking to him? Why would he just let everybody forget about his problems? Maybe he just wants to be treated normal, but does this mean that being treated like a normal person is more important to him than silencing the demons? Maybe he just doesn't care tho, lol

In talents, "stopping arguments" doesn't seem to align very smoothly with his bold personality, but I suppose I could see it working with the darker side of his personality, like when he's alone with the demons.

This one is more of a suggestion than a critique: I'd like to know more about his outside image, like what people outside his friend group thing of him- And how does this affect him, like is he self-conscious about what other people think of him, or does he give no craps?

lol I actually laughed about his favorite weapon

Okay, wow- other than that, I'd say he's solid! He's a very dynamic character and his personality is pretty sound. I feel like his behavior and personality are logical when compared to the struggles he goes through, and he was very interesting! Great job!

Aaahhhhh tysm!!! I'm really glad you think he's well-developed :D He's so fun to work on, I love him to bits xDD
And thank-you so much for your critiques and suggestions, I'll definitely be filling him out more based on those ^^ I appreciate it a lot!