forum Character Critique Shop!

Started March 12, 2018 by @The Seliph-loving Gryffindor who also loves dragons and cats

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How about we have this? People critique other people's characters! Here's my characters at the time of writing.
AMJ: Luna Ikapo Starflower, Gladion Scarface Skull, Unknown
Gems of the Stars: Princess Fotia Fengari The Second, Prince Autumn Ilos

Olivia Henning: Invalid Character
I'm not a good critique, so it would be best if I didn't.

Well… Her personality doesn't make much sense. Why would she be afraid of everyone? Her father was the only one that abused her! And she needs more personality than "shy". That's my critique.

She's afraid of everyone because of her father. No one came to help her when she was being beaten, so she grew up thinking everyone was like him.

Oh. That makes more sense. But are there any other sides to her than "shy"?

That was the only one I could think of as an absolute.

@Allatron
I loved her backstory!!
I would add more detail in every section in her looks and nature!! She has the potential to be a very interesting and thought out character!!
Also no other nicknames? Her brother or mother never called her Liv or Livy?

Tif Just "maid" her!

Flowerfur, Lover of Seliph
Wow! She is so interesting!!
First, I know you probably haven't gotten to all this because of her being made so soon but:
No full name? Not even a last name?
What kind of light brown hair? Does is have blonde highlights? Is it darker on the top or bottom?
Is her hair curly, straight, frizzy, or maybe wavy?
Are all of her scales the exact same color?
What shade of teal?
You should probably add more to her backstory, it seems interesting but it could use a bit more detail
I would continue to develop and add more detail but she sounds really interesting.

Could someone do mine please? Markus Lane Hill

Please, would you elaborate on the fact that you DIDN'T CAPITALIZE "main character" (as well as several other punctuation errors)? Also, what's with the rainbow eyes? Is this normal for outsiders? And surely someone has created a religion in this world. You're welcome.

I sometimes forget to capitalize, I'll fix it:) Everyone has different/odd colored eyes, it's essential to the plot. Not as of yet they have not created a religion. Thx

Can someone do my amazing Lucas??
Thank you!!
EDIT: Invalid Character
This is the correct link. Sorry.

I can't view him

DAMN, that was darker than I expected! But why does he have gray-blue eyes and red hair?

@Flowerfur, Lover of Seliph
Because red heads rarest mix is red hair and blue eyes so, I thought since he is rare I shall make him also be a rare red head.
Thanks for your thoughts on him!

Gray blue? What real life person has gray eyes?

@Flowerfur, Lover of Seliph
I mean, I do. In real life.

Oh. Well, then he's a great character :)

Cael Swiftwind Darksky I just made her, worried she's a cliche badass girl, though.

Nice! But expand on Kelli's personality lol

Thanks in advance!!!

What do you mean by "support" role in the story? So, Lucifer has some good in her! Nice, and not as cliche as other Satanic figures. But expand her backstory and explain it. Guess writing all that is tiring though lol. And a homeschooled god sounds funny to me. As well as a dad god. Keep up the good work! :)

Support is still a placeholder as I'm not exactly sure what to call the role each of them play in the story. Each of them plays a similar role helping out the main characters in their trials and giving guidance along the way.