forum Soup Cult (Chowder and Stew welcom)

Started November 04, 2021 by @Otto_OtterOverlord

tune

Pandora: rubs her temples dear gods, will you please shut up?-

(Lol)

Ōn’nyosh: Snickers. No. And, the gods are idiots.

Pandora: moves right in front of Ōn’nyosh at an almost inhuman speed, shoving the muzzle of her gun against his head Say that again. I dare you.

(Haha violence)

(Drunk Ōn’nyosh at his finest, lol)

Ōn’nyosh: Blinks, not realizing Pandora was in front of him until her gun was against his head. He then starts laughing. Or what? You going to use your strange little crossbow to shoot me? Why not throw a few punches first? You might find a lot more fun in that. His eyes grow increasingly intense, a wild gleam coming to life. Why? Because the gods are idiots, and they can fuck off for all I care. Starts laughing.

Pandora: I can put a bullet through your head right now and kill you instantly. She snaps her fingers to emphasize her point Do you really want to piss me off? This is your last chance to… eh, possibly live. Choose your answer wisely.

Ōn’nyosh: Sighs. Firstly, I don’t even know what a ‘bullet’ is. Secondly, if you want me to shut up, just knock me out. I’ll be out for fucking hours. Thirdly, I’m a drunk jester, it’s my job to be a fucking prick. And, finally, if I had to choose how I’d die, I’d rather be in a brothel, in the arms of a lovely woman… Gets a dreamy look, and goes quiet. He seems completely unfazed by the lingering threat of Pandora’s gun.

Pandora: You disgust me. shoves her gun back into its holster and punches Ōn’nyosh square in the jaw

(My braincells left I apologize)

(You’re good, lol)

Ōn’nyosh: Snorts, then groans at the punch. He just lays there for a moment, then reaches into his nearby satchel and fetches a healing potion. He drinks it and his jaw heals. He then sits up against the wall and starts randomly whistling.

Pandora: rolls her eyes and glances to her side, visibly pissed off You really want me to murder somebody today, don’t you..? she mutters to the air

Ōn’nyosh: Stops whistling and looks at Pandora. If you want to kill someone, that’s your thing. I’m just here. Snickers.

Pandora: waves a hand dismissively yeah, yeah, okay. she crosses her arms, still muttering angrily to the air beside her

Ōn’nyosh: Snorts, then chuckles. Still want to know who you’re talking to.

Pandora: And it is still none of your business. Just drop it.

Ōn’nyosh: Why? I need a little more reason to drop the subject besides ‘non of your business’. That will just inspire me to question you more.

Pandora: I will not answer your questions. End of discussion.

Ōn’nyosh: Why? Don’t make me beg, please. I will beg like the whore I am, until you answer. Snickers.

Pandora: she has trouble keeping her tone steady Then I will simply knock you out. I do not want to answer your questions, as I have said before.

Ōn’nyosh: You still haven’t given me a reason to shut up. Though, if you knock me, I won’t mind.

Pandora: suddenly pulls out her gun and shoots the wall right next to Ōn’nyosh’s head, saying nothing and staring in another direction casually

Ōn’nyosh: Pauses after the shot, then chuckles. You missed.

(Yes, he can be annoying as hell, lol. This is normally what happens when he’s really drunk, but not enough to black out, lmao!)

Pandora: That was on purpose. smirks I am a terribly accurate shot. There is a reason I am a hired assassin in most countries.

(Sounds fun, lol-)

Ōn’nyosh: I know, but you still missed. Pauses, intrigue coming into his expression. An assassin? Really? Ooh… tell me more.

Pandora: casually twirls her gun I have traveled all over the world for the sole purpose of helping people… get rid of… their enemies. It does pay good money if you do it right. How else was I going to pay for basic necessities when I was running from the authorities? she exhales forcefully, her version of a laugh

Ōn’nyosh: Listening with genuine interest. Well, there’s always theft. I, myself, am… clears throat… a klepto. And, I’ve robbed I don’t know how many fucking shops, homes, or whatever else. Laughs. That’s what kept me from eating sewer shit when I was real little. Though, now that I’ve actually got a good reputation across worlds for my performances, I’m living in luxury.