Editor Needed for Fanfiction Project

I am looking for an experienced developmental editor who can help me with my project. I've been working mostly solo on a six-part fanfiction for the past seven years, and the majority of the overarching story has been written out. Each part will be released on its own. 

As these stories will not be sold like commercial novels, I do not expect any monetary gain upon release. However, I am prepared to offer compensation for your time, depending on rates. 

If you are not an experienced editor, but are acquainted with one, I would appreciate assistance in reaching them.

Requirements:

Experienced developmental editor

Well-versed in the lore of the Generation 4 TV show (comic books not included)

Be prepared to commit long-term IF NEEDED (if I enjoy your help, I may ask that you continue to help me with development on the later parts)

After reviewing candidates, you may receive a message from me asking for more information. At this point I would like to do a trial edit, to see if comments and suggestions resonate before moving forward with the project.

Aaand things might need to be rearranged AGAIN

Stygian turned into the Pony of Shadows, IN THE CASTLE OF THE TWO SISTERS. 

Hm, turns out we'll probably need to put Sunburst in as a more important figure. He's the official Crystaller, and uses his magical knowhow to help Flurry as a baby with her magic. So as a teeny kid, she shouldn't have any issues with her magic. But maybe as an older kid, it's decided that she should learn to control her magic on her own.

Do you think there's a chance she could grow out of the spell that help suppress her magic? Maybe her magic gets too strong, and if they want to continue casting the spell on her, a higher-level unicorn or even another alicorn needs to cast it. 

WE HAVE TO CALL TLOTCE SOMETHING ELSE. IS TOO LONG.

Okay okay. I've been a little unimpressed with my own title for a while now. But I haven't been able to think of anything much better. 

How about "The Dragon Amulet"? mMmmmm lets try that out for a little while. 

RED ALERT, ANOTHER NAME CHANGE. THE LEGEND OF THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE IS NOW KNOWN AS THE DRAGON AMULET. Just in case you get confused lol.

Mmmmmm I think canooooonically, Star Swirl is Clover the Clever's mentooorrrr...which means he'd be a bit older than we've written him to be. Would that be a problem? He'd have to be at least kinda old in order to be a mentor, though not super old. And I guess that would mean Moon Spark is a -- "oops baby?" Moony's mother is probably not the same as Star Swirl's then. 

Currently puzzling over the intended effect of Star Swirl's unfinished spell that Twilight revised. "From one to another, another to one. A mark of one's destiny singled out alone, fulfilled." The first part switched the cutie marks of specific ponies, who weren't even in the vicinity (which is probably due to their connection through the elements.)  But what about the second part? And why wasn't Twilight's mark switched along with the others? Is it because she was the caster of the spell? Star Swirl created time spells. Did he somehow learn about Twilight and created this spell specifically to help her fulfill her destiny?? Or did he create the spell to try and switch destinies with someone like Andromeda? If Celestia saw that she's gonna die, she'd be SAD. "OH NO IM GONNA LOSE MY SISTER!" Star Swirl lost HIS sister, so maybe he'd be like "hm, if I switch cutie marks with Andromeda, I'll die instead, and Celestia and Luna won't lose their sister!" Does that make any sense? 

Hm. Maybe the original intended purpose for Star Swirl's spell was a sharing of strength and magic, instead of cutie mark swapping. Canonically way back in the day, he was the one raising the sun and moon, along with five other wizards. But they didn't have as much power as he did, and one day their magic failed. Maybe he was trying to prevent that from happening. 

"A mark of one's destiny, singled out alone, fufilled." He didn't need any more magic, because that's basically his special talent. Performing the spell would be the fulfillment of his destiny.

Why did Star Swirl create time spells? And it IS plural, according to Future Twilight. Was it because he lost his family? Because of Celestia and Lilliane's minor talents in seeing the future? That's probably it. Would be kinda cool if Celestia held the seed for the Tree of Harmony after Lilliane. They both see visions of the future, and the seed kinda picks up on them. That's why the Tree is emblazoned with the marks of Celestia, Luna, and Twilight. Maybe Luna should touch it too lol.

If Celestia has prophetic visions, does that explain certain actions on her part. like placing total confidence in Twilight's ability to help save the Crystal Empire? Or her decision to turn Twilight into a princess?

Hm. So I've been rewatching MLP for the first time in ages. And the little tidbits of information I've forgotten since last time might change large parts of the story. For example, as it now stands Nebula was the one who found out how to use the Crystal Heart to spread light and love across Equestria. But apparently that was accomplished by the Empire's "first queen," and obviously that is not Nebula. So what is it that she does to gain her wings? I think the Faire was established pretty early on as well. 

Guess we need to go back to the drawing board with Nebula and her sisters.

Crystals enhance the powers of the Lost Sisters.

Nebula: Light, Life

Dahliah: Flowers, Time

Tempest: Storms, Death

grrrr, I've been really stuck on this. I think we've established at this point that seeing the past is Flurry's ability, instead of Dahliah's...like it had been for a long time lol. Which puts me back at square one, with no idea what the Lost Sisters' abilities are. So gotta think. 

Tempest. Something to do with that strange crystal shell she can put ponies in? It's a stasis. Also, what exactly happens when she meets that Ursa Minor? Does she die (which is incredibly likely)? How does she come back if she actually dies? Or is she incapable of dying? Does DAHLIAH have the ability to revive ponies? Mmmmmm maybe none of them should have that ability. It removes a large consequence. But if Tempest can't revive herself, how does she survive the Ursa Minor attack? She can't make herself intangible, because that would contradict the loss of her horn. Maybe she can't use her real special talent because of her broken horn. If that sort of thing happened to ponies like Twilight or Rainbow Dash, they wouldn't be able to perform their special talents. Derpy could still deliver the mail without her wings, but Rainbow would no longer have the gift of speeding through the skies. Without her horn, Twilight would lose her purpose in life. DOES SHE HAVE A CUTIE MARK??? Does Tempest wear armor and capes to cover her flank because SHE'S A BLANK FLANK????

Possible?? She lost her horn at a point in time when she would've been close to gaining a Cutie Mark. But just because she lost her horn, that doesn't mean her ability to discover her special talent was taken as well. 

Dahliah. I think the predictive ability should continue down the line. Lilliane had it, Celestia has it -- Dahliah should too. But is it her special talent? I think it would have to be a little stronger to be considered an actual special talent, especially when compared to what came before it. Perhaps she is constantly plagued with visions, similarly to Flurry.

Nebula. Maybe she doesn't invent the process for charging the Crystal Heart -- but she could've taken it up a notch. Previously the Crystal Ponies fed their magic into the Heart simply out of a sense of duty. But Nebula helps them realize the good that comes of sharing the light and love within them with everypony. 

Hmmm...if Nebula's talent doesn't really have anything to do with what her Cutie Mark looks like, then maybe it should be the same for her sisters. Dahliah and Tempest should both have crystal marks of some kind. 

Can Sombra see the light that I keep writing about, in his void?? Is this light representative of Coal's hope, and when Sombra takes over and smothers the light, that's his hope disappearing???

I mean sure, it could probably work that way. 

As Sombra reveals some of the cruelty of the world to Coal, who's life inside the Empire had not been tainted by outside threats, Coal decides to fortify defenses to prevent being taken by surprise, in the event of an attack. He was also wary of Sombra, and decided that if Sombra attacked the crystal ponies once he was free, Coal would prepare them. But he never anticipated where the attack would eventually come from -- himself. 

Also, we're writing this as Dahliah would relate it to Flurry. But would Dahliah know about things like the conversations that took place between Coal and Sombra in the amulet? She can see through time, not minds. But, if the amulet is on a different layer of time (which is something I theorized before coming to write this), THEN could she see it? 

I don't think so. The area where they converse exists inside a crystal, which Dahliah does not have the power to infiltrate. 

Hmm. When I was brainstorming what Flurry Heart's talent should be, one of my first ideas was that she could see other creature's memories. But that's something EG Sunset can do, when she touches others.

Then again, there's several ponies in the show who have very similar talents and/or Cutie Marks. For example: Mr and Mrs Cake, and Sugar Belle; Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich; Lotus and Aloe; and the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

So we could write Flurry as having that sort of talent. However, it needs to be different from Sunset's, and preferably not invasive. Sunset has to touch others to access their memories. In addition, Flurry can't access the memories of other ponies THROUGH OTHER PONIES. Example, accessing a memory of Pinkie Pie in Dahliah, then accessing Pinkies memories inside that memory.

Perhaps memories are tangible to her. The earth itself holds memories, and Flurry can see them. But if Flurry can see the memories for herself, does she need Dahliah to tell her what's going on?

If this is to be Flurry's talent, not necessarily -- however, she'll need Dahliah's help. Because she too can see the memories, just in a different way. Together they add different pieces to the whole puzzle. 

Been kinda on the fence about what Time Whispers would entail. But maybe its obvious. Figured I could have a separate story for Tempest showing off the ruins beyond, but perhaps that could happen in Time Whispers. 

yoooooooooooooooo

So like, we've decided that Starlight Glimmer is reborn as Lorelei after Twilight gives her wings, right? But perhaps we need a little bit more. As in, she also needs to come in contact with some of her old magic. And that could happen through Stygian. If his shadow powers came from Lorelei, then when Starlight Glimmer tries to help Twilight convince Stygian to back down, she was basically INSIDE her own magic. That's step one done. And maybe that boosts her sleeper magic, making it far more likely for Twilight to decide to give her wings. Need to drop lil hints here and there. When Starlight hears about Flurry and Co travelling to the Beyond, the remnants of Lorelei's magic inside her draw her towards that area.

If Tempest takes certain ponies on a mission to the Beyond, who and why? 

If she takes Dahliah and Flurry, she'd have to know that the three of them are related. And they'd have to have a pretty good reason for going there. Investigating the origin of Lorelei's magic? I think Flurry would have questions after witnessing Moon Spark's history. So perhaps the three of them scheme. But Flurry can't run off to the middle of nowhere without her parents knowing (unless she's autonomous)*. Maybe that's why Twilight offers to go. (but that's only part of her excuse lol. having the chance to explore forgotten history is another.) I think Twilight would want to leave Starlight Glimmer in charge...so how would Starlight get herself into the group, and who would oversee Equestria while both of them are gone? Celestia and Luna cooouuuuld but they're retired and Twilight probably wouldn't want to ask them unless there's no other options. Mane Six, maaaybe, but they have their own lives and it would be difficult to manage an entire country on top of that. Cadence and Shining Armor have the Crystal Empire to take care of. If they did agree to oversee Equestria, they would probably want Flurry to watch the Empire. Spike? He's served by Twilight's side for long enough, maybe he can do it. And if he needs help, he can easily send a scroll to Twilight. 

How bout it? Spike is in charge, supplemented by others like the Mane Six. Celestia and Luna are on speed dial lol.

"Starlight, I'd like to leave you in charge while I'm away-"

"Actually Twilight, I was hoping I could tag along. Exploring a lost civilization sounds like fun! Besides, Spike knows more about how you run Equestria than I do. I think he'd make a great substitute."

"Really? Okay, we'll bring Starlight as well."

When they get there, Flurry gets broken flashes of the past, and Starlight Glimmer is negatively affected just by being there, especially since the destitute plains remind her of the last timeline she found when time jumping. As Flurry is unravelling the events that led to the destruction of this area, Twilight begins to question whether Equestria is safe enough with the alicorns it currently has, and wonders if they'll be enough to stop anything like this happening to them. Tempest and Dahliah are confused by her reasoning. Eventually, Twilight comes to the conclusion that she must make Starlight into an alicorn. The ritual allows Starlight to transform into Lorelei. 

Lorelei has all of Starlight's memories, but does not care about the ponies around her. She hides this so she can steer the group in a direction she wants. Flurry has yet to find out that Lorelei was the one who caused the destruction of this place. Since Starlight didn't know about Flurry's ability, Lorelei doesn't either.

"I am Lorelei. I thank you for bringing me back."
"What? Where did you come from? Where's Starlight?!"

"I am she."
"What are you talking about?"

"I have slept inside Starlight for a long time. Before that, I was a resident of this place you are in, Alidia."

"But, what happened to Starlight??"

"We were always one and the same. Because you gave her wings, I was reborn. I possess all of her memories."

"So...you used to live here? Do you know what happened to this place?"

"I do not. I died before Alidia fell."

"I've read about ponies being reincarnated, but those were all fiction! This is REAL!"

* Autonomous?? Maaaybe? Maybe Cadence and Shining Armor have Flurry stay in Canterlot, at least for a little while? That would make it easier for her to receive special schooling from the Mane Six. Then she wouldn't need permission from her parents to trek off to the middle of nowhere. 

Fizzlepop Berrytwist was the name given to Tempest by her adoptive parents. When she meets the Storm King, she gives him as "alias," which just so happens to be her real name lol but she doesn't quite remember that. Storm King attaches the Shadow bit "Because it makes ya sound cooler!" But also because she's the Storm King's shadow. Tempest = Storm.

ACK, gotta change something. Just watched a clip with the Pillars in the new world, after being brought back from Limbo. First thing Rockhoof says is "Even Canterlot is different!"

So Canterlot existed before they went to Limbo, which kinda...hmm. I dunno. When the heck is Canterlot actually made?? After the Castle of the Two Sisters, right??? Something about the timing doesn't make sense to me, even if we take CC out of the picture. Cuz as far as we know, Celestia moved to Canterlot after banishing Luna. I wrote that she helped build it, and that Stygian was taken to Limbo before Nightmare Moon appeared. But I might have to double check and see if the canon timeline is different. 

K, so according to the timeline I found, Canterlot was being built even before the Pillars were formed. BUT, it also lists that Stygian did turn into the PoS before Luna became Nightmare Moon. Might have to do a biiiit of rearranging with the construction of Canterlot though...

Perhaps, after the dragons left, some enterprising ponies moved into the mountains to start mining the gems there. They built a town on top of it, and the Pillars visited both areas at some point. Although, if Celestia were to hear that ponies were building a town in the mountains, why wouldn't she want to move up with them? Maybe she didn't hear from those ponies until rebuilding efforts were already underway in Brywood. Mmm I dunno...Ok, so I think Canterlot was built FIRST, for sure. Before the Castle of the Two Sisters. So how do we fit all this together now...

Ok I think I got something. That maybe makes sense lol. (cries in endless revisions)

FIRST PLACE:  *Brywood.* Celestia, Andromeda, and Luna's first home. The Pillars of Equestria (before they were actually the Pillars) came to visit the growing town and met Star Swirl and Stygian. IMPORTANT: Flash Magnus lived near a nest of dragons and brought some of his buddies with him. These buddies saw dragons living in Equestria's central mountain and were like "Oh dey wouldn't be up there unless there were GEMS heeheehee." When the dragons came out and destroyed Brywood, those buddies decided to sneak up there and explore the mountain and OH LOOK, SO MANY GEM CAVES WHOOPIE! *Canterlot.* When the remains of Brywood were obliterated by Moon Spark, Celestia and Luna built *The Castle of the Two Sisters.* Rockhoof knows about Canterlot because Flash knew his buddies would have gone after the gems, and the Pillars went there together.

Hmmmm...should we change up a bit of the future timeline? Currently the start of it is set as, Flurry gets library access in DDM --> Surge gets her banned --> Meets Dahliah and they set reading times --> Starts schooling with M6 --> TLotCE, little time passes, jousting tournament --> Flurry's talent activates and she surges again --> Part of the Crystal Castle is damaged. 

I feel like having two surges in a row like that, right at the beginning of these stories, is a little redundant. I want to keep the one in TLotCE, so that would probably mean scrapping the DDM one. Soooo...how does that go, then...

At some point, Flurry needs to meet Dahliah. Her interest in reading might get her near the library but not in it. If she wanted books checked out, somepony else could do it for her, eliminating the need for a middle man like the assistant librarian. If Dahliah insisted on delivering and/or reading books to Flurry herself, she'd have to have a pretty damn good reason, or there's few other options. She could do it if she's already friends with Flurry, but then we're kinda back to square one -- how does Flurry meet her?

If Dahliah has a similar ability to Flurry's, she would know she is related to Flurry, and would probably want to be close to her. Would she try to orchestrate a meeting? Does she have ulterior motives? Hhhhhmmmmm...I just had a thought. Should we change Dahliah's talent? Instead of seeing the past, like she has for a while...should she see the future? So far its been minor talents of Liliane and Celestia. What if we made it Dahliah's talent? I think Flurry should have the past-viewing talent, but I'm trying to eliminate some of the redundancies. Hmmm...I dunno. Perhaps as a minor talent...? Unless we can't come up with a major talent. CAN SHE HAVE BOTH?? mmm maybe that would be too much lol...have to think about this.

Something to do with flowers? Tempest is storm/fireworks. Nebula is crystals/Empire nebula thing lol. Dahliah iiiissss future sense/flower thing. What's the flower thing. Making them bloom is way too generic. Using some sort of flower-themed fighting power seems out of place. Hmm, some sort of revival ability? She can breathe life back into dying flowers/plant life? Does that seem too narrow...? Heeeaaaaling? Mmm probably not, if we're looking for medicinal properties stemming from the dahlia flower.

If Cadence relents and allows Flurry Heart to visit Canterlot, specifically to read books with Dahliah--

Hold up. Maybe in that first meeting, Cadence is visiting Twilight to talk about potential schooling for Flurry -- and maybe the rest of the Mane Six is there too, and they all agree to meet with Flurry at some point every week or something, to TEACH HER THINGS YEAA. 

Cuz at this point Flurry has been mostly shut up, to prevent her from doing a lot of outstanding damage. Her parents feel kinda bad about that, so they ask Twilight and her friends to give Flurry some schooling and a taste of life. 

But after Flurry blows up the floor of the library, there's no way they'd send Flurry to Canterlot alone every month. She'd have to take a guard or something. Or two. Or three. Just as a contingency plan lol.

Hmmmmm...do we want to try adding a bit of something to Moon Spark's story? Hear me out. We wrote that Stygian, and eventually Luna, succumbed to the shadow magic they had been exposed to after interacting with Moon Spark. Why shouldn't the villagers as well?

Since Celestia is usually somewhere else, always helping the others, she doesn't get nearly as much exposure as Luna. Even if she did, it wouldn't affect her as much because of her power. That's why it takes so long for Luna to turn. But the villagers are much weaker than both of them. One by one, they start to drop. But how does it affect them? And why would Stygian be different?

Hmm, circumstances? Stygian was exposed when Moony's magic reawakened and she destroyed what was left of Brywood. Perhaps, in her more dormant state, it simply leaked out of her, like a deadly gas. And maybe that wouldn't even affect Luna. She was exposed the same way as Stygian, it just took longer for her to become Nightmare Moon.

Alright, so how do the ponies react to Moony "leaking" lol. 

OKAY, another rewrite. You wrote the start of DDM with Flurry getting what she wants, the library, pretty much right away. Go back to when she first met Dahliah. They can still go to canterlot and see the crates and all that. But instead of Flurry going to the library, Dahliah goes to the castle.

Celestia absolutely has visions. I was kinda wondering for a while but she definitely does. She dreams about Tirek returning.

Anyway what if she has a vision of Andromeda dying and gets really upset about it but refuses to tell her, because she's had visions before and knows, whether they happen or don't, there's nothing she can do. Andromeda dies not only so she can guide the spirits of ponies to a safe place, but also to help with certain events, like Luna's release from the moon. 

After Andromeda dies, Celestia confides in Luna about the vision -- but Luna has never fully believed in the visions, and becomes incredibly angry. If Celestia knew, why didn't she say anything? Because nothing would change. But that doesn't matter, yada yada. At some point Lorelei's magic is also at work, making Luna more angry than she would be otherwise, and leading her to eventually rationalize that if her own sister would do something like that, then perhaps Luna should be the only princess. 

Would this be the reason Andromeda's name is nowhere to be found, then? 

Perhaps. I've been mulling over that for some time. The sisters obviously loved each other very much, but...why is there very little trace of Andromeda? Perhaps Celestia thought she would be misunderstood again, if anyone found out that she knew her own sister would die and did nothing. Too much hurt. There is evidence of her to be found. The statue in Canterlot, for example. 

COVERS

All silhouettes.

DDM: Dahliah's eye color. Young Flurry, looking unsure. 

TLotCE: Depressing blue. Nebula and Coal/Sombra. Dragon Amulet in background. 

Stardust: Red/orange. Andromeda. Staaaauuurs??

Moon Spark: Black/yellow. Moon Spark. Lightning. 

Time Whispers: Purple. Starlight? Lorelei? 

Incarnate: Red. Dahliah, Tempest, and Flurry. 

K so when Nebula takes over she's one of three alicorns in the Empire, correct? Her, Alstonite and Tanzanite? 

The reason there's only three of them, is because some of the Crystal Keepers who battled Sombra and his dragons actually died. So the survivors took in random pony stragglers and thAt'S hOw tHe EmPiRe wAs mAdE.

Moon Spark was pretty young when the Nightmare Forces chose her. She grew physically, but because she went into a deep sleep she became stuck mentally. What if she hallucinates? What if she doesn't just have repressed memories -- the trauma she experienced and the mental block is too intense for her brain to cope with, so she lives in a strange fantasy world?

But part of the reason she seems normal and can kinda cope is because of Lorelei's memories, which came with the Nightmare Forces. Sombra was able to access some of her knowledge, but since he already had his own memories, Lorelei's just kinda lurked in the background. Since Moon Spark lost most of hers, Lorelei's memories basically became her own. However, due to her mental state and general lack of understanding, these memories were warped into something she could understand. Because, scientifically, we compare new and/or familiar things to what already exists in our minds. 

So then, what are Lorelei's memories?

Since Lorelei was a Crystal Keeper, that means she was born an alicorn, and was immediately taken underground once she was weaned. 

How exactly do ponies become alicorns?

I wrote in the glossary that pureblooded alicorns don't need help to gain their horn or wings, and wrote that Nebula just ended up getting hers. But maybe, there does need to be some help. 

Twilight ended up becoming an alicorn after re-writing one of Star Swirl's spells, and activating the Elements of Harmony (though the latter was unintentional). Nebula becomes an alicorn after showing the Crystal Empire how to share light and love with each other and the Crystal Heart. Cozy Glow got a horn after absorbing magic from Grogar's Bewitching Bell, which was probably some pretty powerful stuff. 

The specific circumstances surrounding Twilight's ascension, at least in my opinion, most likely come down to the connection she shared with her friends through the Elements. "...With the marks of our destinies made one, there's magic without end." Celestia might've even had a part in it, before Twilight met her in glitter limbo. 

In order for a pony to become an alicorn, there needs to be a vast amount of magic to help create the implement they lack. So for Nebula, the magic from the Crystal Ponies, combined with the Crystal Heart, is most likely how she ended up getting her wings.

The same is true for Celestia and her sisters too. When they grew old enough, exposure to Star Swirl's gem tree seed would help them become alicorns.

When Lorelei appears again, she wants to reunite with the broken pieces of her magic. 

What memories would she have? Would she have all of Starlight's memories? Who exactly is Starlight in relation to Lorelei? Are they completely separate ponies, and therefore wouldn't be able to share memories? 

When Luna transforms into Nightmare Moon, she is pretty much wholly Nightmare Moon. When Stygian becomes the Pony of Shadows, and Starlight enters his heart, he's able to recall who he was, but allows the darkness to keep its grip on him. 

But, these are not reincarnations. Also real quick, since Starlight went INSIDE a piece of Lorelei's magic, would that have some kind of effect??

Anyway, Lorelei has to locate the first Pony of Shadows, if she's still around. Probably haunting the castle. Which means Lorelei needs to know that her magic is there. Next she needs to find Sombra. So where did he end up? Did he go to Inferious? If so Lorelei would have little trouble bringing him back. That's part of her talent after all. 

Next she has to learn from the mistakes she made in Alidia. Mistake 1: Overestimating her magic stores, and allowing herself to enter magic overload. Solutions: A way to share magic? And/or boost magic stores?

Tirek is able to continually absorb magic, and grows larger each time he gains more. Maybe his body is directly tied to his own magic stores. 

Flurry Heart wants to be trusted. For most of her life ponies have done things for her because of her royal status.  But due to her magic surges, even simpler tasks were taken over by other ponies. She's tired of this, and tired of ponies not trusting her because of her surges. 

She chooses to trust other ponies and give them the benefit of the doubt, simply because she wants the same. This can come of as naivety and poor judgement.  

She's a bit of a brat. Though they love her, her parents are royalty and have very important jobs within the Empire, so they hold themselves to high standards and Flurry to the same. Ironically enough, she loves messing with them. 

ANOTHER CHAAAAAAAAAANGE

Fallen Tree (who's name has been a placeholder this whole time, no, I did not get attached to it) is now known as Blackthorn. The blackthorn tree is associated with bad luck and witchcraft, but also protection against evil and overcoming obstacles for a better future/protection and hope in the midst of devastation. Anything that refers to him as Fallen Tree must now be changed!

So I kinda had the idea that Tempest should represent death or something, since Dahliah is time and Nebula is life. And I came up with the hellfire phoenix, but I think this whole concept would work better for Lorelei. Considering we established in Beyond that she can reanimate the dead, and the design of Starlight's Cutie Mark could easily be warped into a phoenix. 

But then we're pretty much back to square one with Tempest. What does she represent, what is her talent, what is her Cutie Mark?

Leadership? Hmmm...should we go for something that's closer to her name? Maybe her name was originally shorter, just Tempest. So then the theme would be storm. Well that would fit with her character, but...what is it exactly...

mmmMMMMMHbhsbhjhfvhbfbhjfvbhBHFEHBSGRVAHVBYLRWHVYB

I think we could go with Leadership. She leads with the drive and ferocity of a storm, which quietly brews as she formulates plans. 

WHAT. Is DAHLIAH DOING IN THE CANTERLOT LIBRARY?!

Maybe comparing what she's seen to what is written? She probably heard some "universal history" in passing and was super confused, because she knew what the truth was. But since some Equestrian history is universally accepted it would be difficult to explain that it's false. So she visited the library to make comparisons and eventually got herself hired as a librarian by demonstrating her knowledge of Old Ponish -- oh wait wait wait, she went to the library to STUDY Old Ponish so she could understand what the ponies in her visions were saying! She found some books on the language outside Canterlot but eventually made her way to the library because their selection is more extensive. 

REAL QUICK! Twilight herself states she is an expert in Old Ponish. So she'd love to translate the tablet herself, but has to focus on the rest of the findings from Rambling Rockridge, so she delegates the task to Dahliah.

Once she translated the tablet, do you think she'd want to hide it?

Why? If the truth she sees in her visions is different from what the rest of Equestria knows, wouldn't she want to reveal that truth? It would definitely be easier to explain the translation than her own visions.  

Aight next question...

WHERE THE FUCK DOES FALLEN TREE GO WITH HER AND TEMPEST?!?

THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY!

Did they diiiieeee...? Maybe there was a community or something living near the mountains that took them in...? Yaks? Maybe they found some yaks. Then Fallen Tree died of his injuries and the yak took the girls to be raised elsewhere. Sometimes when kids lose their parents they get separated during adoption. So its entirely possible at this point that Tempest and Dahliah grew up away from each other. 

From there, Tempest was adopted by a family who let her run wild and fend for herself. When she broke her horn and ran away, they did not pursue her. She grew up living on her own and traveling about the world. At some point she encountered the Storm King, who promised to fix her broken horn. She figured, he could be lying. If he was, she would use his resources to find a cure on her own. Eventually she became the general of his army, promising him power in return for her restored horn.

Dahliah was taken to another community and adopted. She grew up working hard but was misunderstood due to the nature of her visions. Since she was descent from alicorns, she had a longer lifespan than the normal ponies around her and was deeply hurt by the coming and going of friends. Eventually, as the youngsters grew up and left to pursue their own lives and the community dwindled, Dahliah left as well, encountering still more visions. She was able to trace her own life back to the separation from her father near the Crystal Empire, and witnessed echoes of King Sombra's rise and defeat in the empty Frozen North. She made her way to central Equestria and saw the life of her grandmother played out amidst the crags and cracks at Rambling Rockridge. However, as the ponies of that particular point in time spoke the dead language of Old Ponish, she could not understand parts of what they were saying. So she found books on Old Ponish, and eventually made her way to Canterlot and the extensive library they had. 

STAR-BUTT KNOWS SOME OLD PONISH CAUSE LORELEEEIIIII

After Andromeda dies, Luna starts having nightmares. That's why she "wants to make all ponies' dreams beautiful!!!" BECAUSE HERS WERE KINDA SHITTY

Celestia sees a star shoot across the sky, and tells Luna its a gift sent by their sister. She was watching over them, and seeing a lucky star meant everything would be ok. 

But what about the rest of her character? Celestia was kinda easy, but Luna's proving to be difficult. It's hard to determine how one was as a kid, and how it leads to their adult life, with very little to work with. 

Almost got it figured out I think

Moon Spark technically died in the Crystal Mountains, after blowing half of it up. However, let me go through the properties of Lorelei's magic.

1. One of Lorelei's skill was reanimation. After killing some of the other Crystal Keepers, she used their bodies to protect her while she gained power
2. Shadow Magic. 

When King Sombra fell in the Broken Pass, excess magic was absorbed from the earth into his dying body. Later the crystal ponies discovered him and took a chunk out of his heart, a gift meant for the king and queen. CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE

Moon Spark had a hoof in the creation of the dragon/alicorn amulet, HOWEVER. She did not INTENTIONALLY INVENT IT. 

CHAAAAAAAAAAAANGE

Moon Spark sees Sombra's body in the Crystal Mountains, HOWEVER. She does not take a piece of his heart. Some of Coal's subjects do.

Portmanteau means suitcase in French or something. I don't want the name of my city to be SUITCASE

so we gotta come up with something else.

How bout Alicitia? Derived from Alicorn, and amicitia, which is Latin for friendship.

Actually, I think Alidia rolls better off the tongue. Its meaning is "small winged one," which isn't as cool but it kinda works anyway.

Well, better than Portmanteau lol.

phhh alright then NEW REVISION! PORTMANTEAU IS NO LONGER THE NAME OF THE ALICORN CITY!!!

Alright, since this is brainstorming and no idea is a bad idea, just gonna throw this out there.

I don't think I want Chrysalis to be a sympathetic villain. I don't think anyone else wants her to be either. She's cool the way she is, all crazy and stuff.

But...if we decide that Nebula is, in fact, not Chrysalis (or at least that no one finds it out)...that throws out most of the plot for Revival.

That might not be a bad thing. We haven't been able to come up with much anyway.

If that's the case, time for another huge revision. Which leaves us with two problems:

1) What happens to Nebula after the events of TLOTCE?

2) What is the new plot of book 4?

Might have answers. Del Darken Marung, though it is a prequel story, can technically be the first book. If we remove Revival entirely and just go right to Time Whispers, with DDM we still have six books.

K-ok-ok-ok

So

Aw shit I forgot, ehh just a sec

Oh oh ok. So the spell or curse or what-fuckin-ever that Sombra uses on the Empire that causes it to disappear for a thousand years right? Maybe he would've been killed or permanently banished if not for that spell, and that's why he cast it. He cast it on himself, and he took the Empire with him. OOOOOR MAYBE IT WAS COAL'S DOING??? His last act before Sombra was like "no more mr pony king SMUSH" haha lol

Rename Lauren to Liliane cuz stuff?

I mean, we probably could. I don't see why we can't use Lauren, it's a free country. 

Well if the ponies start swearing by Lauren's name or something, I dunno... 

Sure, yeah, why not. You get to go back and fix it all tho. 

AIGHT LAUREN SHALL NOW BE REFFERED TO AS LILIANE, ANYTHING THAT SAYS OTHERWISE MUST BE CHANGED

oy, here we go again, just like with Lorelei...

FUCK I FORGOT AND STARTED CHANGING IT BACK TO LAUREN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

So the context for Historical Document Vol. 1 is that "archeological excavations were made in Rambling Rockridge, and traces of an ancient village were found."

Why don't Celestia and Luna comment on this?

Perhaps they are unaware that the excavations were made. I mean, if no one alive today knew that was their old home, would they go find them in Silver Shoals and be like "Hurr dee durr, you should check out the stuff we're doing over here, it's important!" Naw man.

So what about once it's complete? 

If word reaches them, then yes, they'll probably say something. But what. 

I've been trying to brainstorm how the hell Nebula gets to the Empire, since things changed again. Idea maybe?

Kinda like something out of That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime. They're slowly building a home for themselves, and in the midst of all this ponies from other towns come to visit. That's how the other five Pillars ended up in Bywood, and Stygian too. Perhaps even visitors from the Crystal Empire itself came. So when the Dragon War begins, the citizens of the Empire flee back to their home, taking Fallen Tree and his daughters with. 

But then Fallen Tree, Tempest and Dahliah would be in the Empire with Nebula. Unless they were separated along the way.

Its a start. Definitely something to work with.

"We never met the Pillars. And we were too young to understand the danger they faced." -- Luna

Star Swirl disappeared while the three sisters were very young. His disappearance was due to facing Stygian, the Pony of Shadows at the time. Which means that all the things that happened with Moon Spark, happened sooner than I thought. Because she infected Stygian.

So Liliane comes to Equestria, meets Star Swirl, then leaves. Since she left around the Red Eye, maybe that's when the Pillars were founded -- which means all those other cultures existed around that time too. The Egyptians, Mistmane's kind, all of them. There was migration as well, which should explain Meadowbrook and Flash's homes. 

What about Luna then? Was Moon Spark already a shadow pony when she found him and Luna? Is that how they became infected? 

Lorelei is the complete package. She's beautiful, lustrous, seductive -- and highly intelligent. She is not driven by her sensuality, however she is completely aware of its affect and uses it to her full advantage when necessary. 

What if the Nightmare Forces hold some of Lorelei's memories? That's how ponies like Luna and Moon Spark are able to perform spells they would otherwise not have been able to, spells they didn't even know. That's how Moon Spark knows Sombra's heart would be useful as a conduit, because of the studies conducted on crystals by the Keepers. It's also where Sombra gets his shadow magic, cus he's exposed to both Moon Spark and Lorelei's memories and knowledge. And Luna gets exposed to it too, while Moony's being a creepy creep. After Moony becomes the POS, the amulet migrates back to the empire. But hooooowwwww.........

I mean, that's quite a ways for it to go. Maybe while they're...building...the train tracks? Maybeeeeee? Or like, after? Once the Empire and central Equestria start forming relations. That might make more sense. 

So once the tracks are built, Equestria gets to know the Crystal Empire. They start trading. The Amulet makes its way to the Empire, and that's how Coal finds it. Yee.

Need to remember that Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane, and Chancellor Puddinghead were there too. Very high chance that Hurricane gave his life defending against the dragons. Princess Platinum would probably be one of the first casualties. Or she supervises the six wizards or something. But Puddinghead...hmm.

Actually, they're the ones who attempt to negotiate with the dragons. But Sombra kills them and starts the Dragon War.

K, timelines. When Moon Spark makes the Broken Pass, does she just hang around?? Why would she? She would have to make it later if she doesn't. But then there's no Pass for Andromeda, or Liliane for that matter, to travel through. It will make for an interesting story bit later, when rumors of the mountain blowing up start circulating, and Fallen Tree finds these rumors to be true. But how does Liliane get through the mountains with her kids? 

How does the alicorn amulet make its way into the empire? And/or, how does Coal find it?

Yeah so after Moon Spark found Sombra what did she do...I don't think she would've made the Amulet right smack dab in the middle of the Frozen North. So maybe she takes a chunk of his heart, and then -- wait that would suggest that the Crystal Heart could still hold the soul of the deceased dragon, oooh that's kinda creepy. Anyway, she takes a chunk. And the closest area would be the Crystal Empire. But then who's to say she wouldn't just try and take over the empire herself? Why just drop an amulet off, and refuse to elaborate lol. She just blew up a whole mountain.

Speaking of, maybe that's where Sombra falls, actually. He gets crushed by an avalanche. So then where's his boooooones? 

I do think that would make more sense than being in the North tho. The question is, where does the amulet go? MAP TIME

K there's really not much in that area...maybe she just kinda leaves him behind then. I mean, would she really care? No. Not even enough to make the amulet in the first place. Huh. What if the Alicorn amulet and Dragon amulet were the same thing? Could this be viable?? TESTS

What Moon Spark does, is she creates AN amulet. It enhances the magic of the user, but Sombra, who's still alive within it, corrupts the user. What if she didn't know he was alive? She's just like "HEY, LET'S MAKE SOME SHIT", e voila, amulet. Maybe the purpose of the amulet is to focus and enhance her power. Except that focus doesn't quite make sense for a chaotic being, so probably not that.  

She finds him dying in the Broken Pass, injured as such so that his heart is partially exposed. She takes things apart...and puts them back together. She takes his heart, and makes a device. But how does it get into the empire in the first place? Perhaps she tries to use it herself, to enhance her own powers. Does Sombra appear then, try to corrupt her? Is he getting accustomed to this unnatural plane of existence? Do the Nightmare Forces block him out? 

She goes to central Equestria, seeking other sources of power to enhance her own. At this point the sisters are establishing themselves as monarchs, and rebuilding a home for the Equestrians. She finds Star Swirl, her brother. But do they know they are related? She probably knows. Her parents might've mentioned his name at least once. But he doesn't know, cuz she was born in the mountains after he had moved on to Equestria. Wanting to keep the Equestrians safe and happy, Star Swirl doesn't tell them about Moon Spark, who is prowling around their new home, waiting for an opportunity to strike. 

After Sombra battles Nebula, it severely damages the amulet. At this point, however, Sombra doesn't need it because his soul has entered Coal's body. So he discards it. 

"Why on earth was Nebula made queen after earning her wings??" Because the Crystal Keepers who formed the empire believed that alicorns were superior, even after integrating Equestrians into their community. The Equestrians were incapable of earning wings on their own, and the royal family was made up of alicorns. When Nebula gained wings, they're like "OHHHH she must be descent from alicorns!!" So naturally they start training her for leadership. Well they did kinda train her as she was growing up, just in case.

K naturally Nebula's gonna associate love with warmth. Cuz she was cold. and then. The peeps made her warm. ffffffffffff

they DIIIIIIEEEEEED and she SAAAAVED THEEEEM

So like, Celestia and Luna find themselves in a white void. They be in HAYVEEEEN

Andromeda saved them and gives them new life. yaaaaay

Orrrrrr what if Nebula did lol, like that's her special talent, and she earns her cutie mark as a baby lmao.

Does Andromeda really need to go on an adventure to search for her mother? Could she just stay at home? But then what would really happen...

If they all go on an adventure togerther, how exactly does Luna go lol. You've established that the wizards can't control the sun and moon for very long, so Celestia and Luna need to take over. If they leave before taking over, are they shirking their responsibilities? Do they really need to be taught how to do it, or does it just come naturally to them, like anyone who earns their cutie mark?

Ok, so lets say they leave before they're really taught how to control the sun and moon. The wizards are doing ok for now. But they have to turn back at some point and help fight the dragons. 

Unless Andromeda tries going off by herself. Her sisters are learning how to control the sun and moon, but what can she do? She really wants to see her mother again. Fallen Tree follows her and when he finally catches up, he convinces her to go back. If her mother was still alive, she probably would have come back by now. Or the wizards wouldn't have to do their job. Coming back is somewhat perilous, and it strengthens their friendship. Then the Dragon War starts, and Fallen Tree must help fight them. 

See, I don't know how I feel about this now tho. As we have it written currently, Fallen Tree stops Andromeda from going through the mountains to find her mother. Later, after the Broken Pass has been formed, Fallen Tree attempts to make the same journey Andromeda failed at -- because he told her to go back. So you'll have to find another way for Nebula to get to the Empire.

Teleportation? That's an awfully long way to teleport. I think at this point the Pass would be opened. So perhaps there's already a trade route going with the Empire. Maybe some of the ponies migrated in that direction. But, again, that's an awfully long way to go. Not to mention it's where they came from originally. So not migration e

What if the Alidians were the ones who controlled the sun? Then when the Fall happened, that's why Lauren went back, cuz she figured something happened to them. Will have to get back to this.

Ok ok so timeline:

The Crystal Keepers are the ones who control the sun and moon. That's why they're spe-shul. 

Lorelei's betrayal, banishment, and her raw magic is slowly brewing in the basement. 

Somewhere around this time is when Liliane leaves, either before or after.

While she's in Equestria, she teaches Star Swirl magic. Later he develops a lot of those spells for future ponies. 

The Fall begins. Liliane knows something must be wrong in Alidia, so she goes back, maybe telling Star Swirl "U gotta teach my babies how to control the sun and moon lol."

So they learn how, and that's how they become da princesses of Equestria. 

Why exactly...do Star Swirl and the other wizards need to raise and lower the sun?

Did something happen to it? hmmmmmmmmmmm

And how does the raising and lowering of the sun affect other reigons, like Alidia?

Maybe there was some cataclysmic event that the whole world bore witness to. Or even more than one. Let's try this:

This part does not necessarily need explanation. Something already controlled the sun. Something HAPPENED to that something, leaving every corner of the world plunged in darkness. The Windigoes rose amongst the chaos, leaving the original home of the tribes a desolate winter wasteland. Desperate for warmth and food, the tribes set out in search of a new home. 

The Tale of Hearths Warming Eve is loosely based on the events that occurred thereafter. The Unicorn tribe was never actually in charge of raising and lower the sun. But perhaps they were stewards to the entity that was. Which is why, later, six unicorns took charge. 

Hmmmm again.

In search of a new home, might they have traveled through the frozen north of today? In fact, perhaps the frozen north is what they once called home. And that's how Moon Spark's village ended up in the mountains. They were separated from the other tribes. Presumed dead, they were left behind. But they managed to survive on the harsh mountain. 

Some old brainstorming:

I'd like to expand upon that by brainstorming again: Could the land have been in perpetual day instead? The entity that controlled the sun died, or was killed, leading to the event of Hearths Warming. 

(NEEDS UPDATING)

Fallen Tree takes his children and tries to find Andromeda's mother. In pursuit is Sombra, who's trying to exact vengeance on the relatives of the one who destroyed his reign. Both are injured, and Sombra falls in the frozen north, to be met by Moon Spark.

As Fallen Tree journeys onward, he loses Nebula, who is found by guardians of the Crystal Empire. 

When he finally makes it through the frozen lands, he reaches the small village of Tempest's childhood, where he dies of his wounds. 

If Sombra finds out about Nebula's ability when it comes to gems, maybe he'll try to make her revive his wife with the Crystal heart. 

Aw jeez, maybe she technically does...and that's what turns it into modern-day Heart. That's kinda dark ngl.

NNNNGGGH

The six members of the Mantle. The six wizards who helped Star Swirl raise and lower the sun. The Pillars of Equestria, and finally, the Mane Six. 

It's not really the lightning bolt itself that tears the mountain to pieces. More of the immense power that emanates from Moon Spark.