forum What are your thoughts on Forgiveness?🤔

Started July 10, 2020 by @4lagoon4 group

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This goes for anyone in general, even the ones who’ve committed the tiniest of offenses. Can they be redeemed? Tell me your thoughts!

I believe strongly in forgiveness, but not forgetfulness. Ephesians 4:32 says something along the lines of "forgive each other as God, through the Messiah, has forgiven you." Anyone who wrongs me will be forgiven, but not because "they deserve a second chance", simply because it's my choice to show grace. However, forgiving someone doesn't mean I immediately trust them again. They still have to reap the natural consequences of whatever they did. I wouldn't forget what they did, because that would be unwise to dismiss. I'll forgive what they did to drop the grudge. Grudges are damaging to everyone involved. Mercy should be shown.

I agree with @Owen a lot, on this.
I myself like to go by a modified version of the motto forgive and forget.
"Forgive, forget, but don't be an idiot."
For better explanation: Forgive someone, and let the situation go. Don't keep bringing up the mistake, and rubbing it in their face. But don't be an idiot, by letting them take control over the same thing and hurting you over and over. I've been hurt by people before, so I try to pull back and not go to them if I need something right away. I've forgiven them, sure. But it doesn't mean I have to trust you.
Even if they keep doing the same thing over and over, I can forgive them. I'll just choose to step back if they're actually hurting me- physically or emotionally. I hate the feeling of knowing I've done something, and not knowing if they forgive me. So I try my best to not leave others feeling like that.

Exactly. I think a lot of people confuse forgiveness with ignoring red flags. You can forgive someone and still step back to recognize the red flags and avoid them.

Mhmm. I'm pretty sure there was a point in time when I did think that, but I eventually realized that's not necessarily true. I mean, if you're being abused by someone, sure, you can forgive them. But don't go back to them.
If they're causing you harm in any way, and you feel like you have to step back, do it. That's okay. You're not a terrible person for trying to protect yourself. Even if it's hard, you should still forgive them. But don't let them back in your life, if you don't think they should be.

I completely agree, but I also feel like that’s another thing that some people struggle with, and that’s fake outs. People who’ve claimed they’ve changed but would revert to their old ways the second you let them back in your life. How would you avoid that?

Still forgive them, but I'd keep them out of a position where they couldn't hurt me again. Seperate myself from them in whatever way is best.

Wow, I’ll be honest I didn’t expect such positive responses haha. With all this “Cancel Culture” going around, and witnessing people get dragged through the mud on social media about the wrongs they’ve committed 30+ years ago, I thought more people would be discourteous on the topic. But this was a pleasant surprise, I’m honestly grateful. 😂

Cancel Culture's so.. just bad. People just wanna throw fits sometimes.

I mean I get what they’re going for, but as @RainyDayArtist said "Forgive, forget, but don't be an idiot." I feel to many people nowadays just want chaos, and all the ethical decisions flew right out the window.

Cancel culture is toxic, but in the spirit of fairness, I understand where many people are coming from. The way I see it, you shouldn't get doxxed for your racist tweets from 2014. At the same time, if people withdraw their support from you for repeated offenses, then you simply no longer deserve a platform.

Examples: Shane Dawson was a full grown adult when he made really disgusting comments about children, Asian people, Black people, among others. He hasn't shown significant growth and he only ever apologized when he got caught. Therefore, he does not deserve a platform. However, high schoolers who post videos of themselves saying racist things don't deserve to be rejected from college, fired from their jobs, or kicked out of school. There's a balance, and "cancelling" people often does more harm than good, but I understand wanting to air out past grievances if they were never addressed in the first place.

I pretty much agree there, if you did something crappy in the past but have actually grown as a person/it was taken out of context/it was provably a one time thing and/or you've apologized for it, the people coming after you shouldn't have any grounds to end your career. But if you did something crappy then, and have carried that crappiness into the now, then maybe you need to not be in the eyes of the public.

Exactly because ranting, or “venting” about things on social media is not the answer. I believe that should be handled off screen with a therapist, family, or someone you trust. Because going on social media is like going to trial. And if you’re found guilty “even a little bit” they’ll chew you out about it for the rest of your life. It’s a very viscous cycle that I’ve seen far too many times.