forum Mouthwashing

Started Nov 18 by @Angelfish-Eyes group

tune

I absolutely MUST dump out some thoughts im having on this game somewhere and i have nowhere to do it

obligatory CONTENT WARNING!! Mouthwashing deals with rape, murder, suicide, and all kinds of uncomfortable and graphic stuff.

I can't stop thinking about this game so this might not be the most well-structured rant/essay/thing, but for starters, the intricacies of the relationship dynamics of the characters are SO intertwined with the way things ended.
The most glaring one to me is Jimmy's desperate desire for power, which he takes out on Curly and Anya in very different ways. To Curly, he is just mean, but Curly is so desperate to keep the peace that he basically ignores it. (see Jimmy's rant at the birthday party.) In this way, he neither soothes Jimmy nor does he berate him. He just lets him do whatever he wants, which we can assume is how he has always been. This is just about the worst thing Curly can do, because Jimmy now needs to take out his frustration on someone else. As a generally timid person and the only woman on board, Anya is the only choice for this. So, despite Curly being the closest friend Anya seems to have, his nature led to her being raped by Jimmy.

But of course, there's so many layers to every part of this game, and while Curly's nature did nothing to protect Anya and enabled Jimmy's behavior, the real responsibility also falls back to the Pony Express that so obviously cares so little for their employees that they didn't make sure there were enough cryopods, locks on the door, qualified employees, etc etc the list goes on

Anya herself is a beautifully written and horribly tragic character, trapped literally in space with an abuser and her only friend being too conflict-avoidant to protect her. Since most of our interactions with her are from Jimmy's perspective, we don't really know what she was like as a person since her "personality" was likely a trauma response. Despite Swansea and Jimmy commenting on her ineptness, she managed to keep a severe burn victim alive for months with nothing but limited bandages, a half-destroyed medical station, and painkillers while several months pregnant and fighting the PTSD response from forcing Curly to consume painkillers without his consent, which was painful for him. She was also only on the Tulpar to save up to try nursing school again. I can only imagine the levels of internal conflict she endured from carrying Jimmy's child, but given that she does not drink mouthwash and most likely could have found a way to terminate the pregnancy before the ship crashed, she seems to have wanted to keep the baby until the very end.

Due to Jimmy's general dislike of him, Swansea is also hard to pin down. He is clearly a gruff and disillusioned person, but he is not mean, nor is he emotionless. He obviously cares a lot for Daisuke and does not want to see him suffer. It's also revealed in his final conversation with Jimmy that he has a family, though it's not clear if he really loves them since he claims his drunken days were the best of his life. Still, I think he sees Daisuke as his child in a way. He is also close enough to Anya that she tells him about her pregnancy. His relationship with Curly is unclear. He seems to lose all his composure with Jimmy after Daisuke's death, which is understandable. He never respected Jimmy, but is stuck watching the consequences of Jimmy's actions affect the rest of the crew whom he does have affection for. As a result, rage builds up, and he ends up chasing Jimmy around the ship with an axe- the only weapon he has access to. He intends to use the weapon that was used to end Daisuke's life to end Jimmy's as well, but he does not succeed.

I have a lot of affection for Daisuke, but not quite as long a paragraph for him. He is simply an innocent, happy life that was cut short by Jimmy's pure selfishness. Objectively, he had nothing to do with any of Jimmy's mistakes; he was just caught in the crossfire. I found his death the most hard to watch and process. During Jimmy's psychotic breaks, the most common motifs are Polle (who represents the unborn child) and a hibiscus (Daisuke.) In addition, he spends a lot of time hallucinating that he is in the vents. This at least suggests that Jimmy is aware of the innocent lives taken by his selfishness.

I would love to unpack the hallucinations more, the meaning of the mouthwash as a symbol, and the axe and gun have a lot of symbolic weight as well, but I simply do not have time. If they continue to stay in my mind, I may return, but most likely I won't. I hope someone reads and enjoys this, and if you have something to add, even better. until then, goodnight!