oh man ok here she is. it's kinda long since i repurposed the og sheet uhhh…… also the ref sheet i drew is a specific au unrelated so you can ignore the snake tat and the text at the bottom lol
name: Maira Lorenson
alias: Candy DeLark
age: 24
gender: genderfae ( she / star / it )
sexuality: lesbian, asexual
nationality: swedish
height: 5’5 / 162cm
occupation: medical assistant
species: hybrid (cat—eurasian lynx/Lynx lynx)
abilities: due to her cat genes, candy has heightened senses (hearing, vision, touch). she can perceive sounds in higher ranges than humans, being able to hear up to 50khz, as well as having better sight in environments with low light. she’s very more sensitive to touch than the average human, and already sensitive areas, such as the neck and fingers, become more sensitive and can detect slightly more (albeit mostly useless) information from objects, such as texture, small residues and liquids, etc.
weaknesses:
. . . . . her left arm is significantly weaker than her right due to her past, as well as chronic nerve damage (median nerve, neurotmesis), so if her lower arm, wrist, hands, or fingers are touched in certain spots, stars first instinct is to flinch away, even if she’s used to the pain now. requires an abnormal amount of rest. 12-15 hours is usually enough for 24 hours. its ability to walk silently is an active ability, however, and if she uses it for over an hour (at a time), she gets a really bad migraine that can last anywhere from 12 hours to 3 days. the increased in touch sensation also produces aversions to specific textures.
. . . . . candy LOATHES being wet. a few drops are fine, but anything more than that is awful. for this reason, no matter what she wears or what the weather is like, she always makes sure her top has a hood, or that she has an umbrella. due to her heightened senses, she’s easily prone to overwhelm, and doesn’t do well in environments with loud noises or with a lot visually going on. i wonder what would happen if you tried poking into her past . . . ?
weapons: while candy is quick to immediately lash out using just her hands, it’s largely ineffective due to her disability. that’s not to say its other hand isn’t strong, though, if its fist catches your body, that’s got to hurt. she’s best with a colt 1911 (one she got soon after she arrived at uni. of course she made sure to keep it secret, but as long as it's by her side every night, she feels a little safer), as it’s easy enough to operate with a fully functional hand and a hand that’s fucked over. (it’s also the only gun she knows how to use.)
personality: A girl hurt by being surrounded with a world of pain and hurt and suffering. She is no longer as empathetic as she used to be, and instead prefers to focus on herself more. This often results in a startling inability to respond to conflict and pain as a “normal person” would. Candy will choose to turn a blind eye to their pain, and continue her life as normal. Star aspires for a happy life where she can be supported by both the mafia and her “normal” job, as well as a deeper understanding of the human brain.
Despite stars hidden empathy, it can’t help but feel short bursts of anger towards people in pain and suffering, especially those with illnesses or disabilities. She can’t understand why they can’t do certain things, even if they are like herself.
She often presents as a carefree girl who is just a little bit nerdy and hungry for knowledge, while also a little clumsy at times—which, is not wrong, though there certainly is more to her than that. When it’s time to get serious, she shuts down and stops talking, throwing all her focus into the mission or job at hand. When overwhelmed, she crawls into a corner, if she can, or flees into the bathroom and won’t come out until she feels the danger has passed.
likes: astrophysics (hyperfixation), nighttime/early morning, pink, cats, space/the stars, writing
dislikes: roommates, poking into her past, most people, black, noninstrumental music, messes
backstory: Growing up, Candy felt like she was surrounded by a world of hurt. She was loved, cared for, and provided for, and she did feel loved and cared for. But they were all hurting. Stars father, a veteran, suffering from PTSD. Its mother, struggling financially to provide for the family as the sole breadwinner at the time. Its younger siblings, two years and five years younger than her. Her father often lashing out at her due to delusions, thinking he was still back in the wars, and her family doing nothing to protect her. Even at school, there was no relief. They didn’t live in a more modern town, but on the outskirts of what appeared to be a town of decay. Most of the buildings had mold in them, and it was rare to see the modernities we’ve gotten so used to in a home. The kids she attended school with were suffering. Their parents were suffering. And the staff were suffering. As a result, star suffered. But she was young. And no one explained the hurt to her, only told it that it wouldn’t understand.
She doesn’t understand she doesn’t understand she doesn’t understand.
Why won’t anyone tell me? star often found itself thinking. I am loved. or am I? I am cared for. They treat me well. …right? And I love, I care back! I want to treat them well, too. Why won’t anyone let me?
Eventually, this line of thinking ran into: If I can’t understand, because I have never experienced that hurt, maybe I need to hurt like they do so I understand.
Candy clutched stars arm tight, rocking back in forth trying to comfort herself. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt so much. But she still didn’t understand. Why couldn’t she understand why they were hurting? What was she missing? ((TW: sh mention)
Spoiler - click to show.
It was then that Candy permanently injured her arm. A ragged and painful, scuffed cut into her arm, a cut through the median nerve, resulting in neurotmesis. This injury would result in permanent disability and partial loss of function in her arm and hand.
So she decided to do a deep dive into the world of knowledge, to soak up as much information as possible. Yet she was still young. Many words whizzed past her understanding and in the end she still didn’t understand. Over and over and over again she tried to understand why they hurt. But no one explained, no one told her, and nothing came of her desperate attempts to try.
A kid by 15. The father? No memories, just a hazy night and waking up sore. Though she somehow managed a somewhat successful birth, she ended up leaving the baby at the doorstep of a local church – it was simply impossible to protect both herself and the baby at home. And by 16, her family told her they were "leaving on an extended vacation" and would let her know when they were back.
The first bill came a few months later, after they stopped paying them. She didn't know what to do with it. With what money was she supposed to pay it with? Shouldn't her parents have taken care of it already? A month passed. Another one, informing her that there was a late fee to be paid now. Another month passed. This time, informing her that the electricity would be turned off if it wasn't paid by the end of the month. Other bills had long made their way into the mailbox since the first, and star was forced to get a job desperately, trying to maintain the house she grew up in.
When she left for university at the age of 23 after selling the house, the memory loss was gradual. Subtle. Unnoticeable. Even the “friends” she had made wouldn’t have been able to notice such things. This loss wasn’t in the present day memories, but rather of her past memories. Slowly, her memories were “rewritten,” and she could barely remember a thing before she had moved out. Its brain had decided that it would be too painful to live with the knowledge that she was abandoning friends and family, knowing that they were still hurting, and thus, it was better to erase it all. Most of the memories she did recall involved the hours she spent at the library researching.
As a result, Candy became very sensitive to her past. It wasn’t enough just to erase the past, no, star had to develop trauma symptoms over it as well. Asking about the past was bad. Stars subconscious knew that the past was painful, forbidden, awful. And though she didn’t understand why, she lashed out at anyone who dared ask about her past, or even mention details. And maybe everyone just struggled with the same things she did. Maybe she was just weak, and needed to try harder. One day, she too, would be able to achieve the same things that everyone around her seemed to be able to, right?
family: mother, father, and two younger siblings. stars not in contact with them anymore, so she doesn’t know if they’re still alive.
extra information:
. . . . . education: high school diploma, double majoring in astrophysics and neurobiology
. . . . . for reasons unknown to herself, she didn't quite feel safe if she wasn't hiding behind another name at university, hence the alias
. . . . . hunts wild snakes for fun
physical appearance:
(scuffed erasure of the human ear lol)
candy is mostly humanoid, save for her cat ears, tail, and paws where her feet would be. while her hair is naturally a darker blonde, she had her fur and ears dyed when she went through with the hybridization.
