Okay! So. Like- I need some help. I've identified as non-binary for like- a solid 2 years now. So I know my pronouns and like- I'm still figuring out a name I'm comfortable by. But I'm still super confused because- like… If someone were to accidently call me a 'he' I'd be fine with it. But the moment someone calls me 'she' I feel insanely uncomfortable. And like- I want to get top surgery, but not necessarily bottom. A friend suggested I might be non-binary and possibly want to present as masculine and I'm just… Very confused. Anyone else feel like this?
hello! my name is sin and i was in a similar situation a few months ago. DISCLAIMER; I'm not here to tell you your identity, I'm just simply sharing my experience hoping to help you.
so, previously i had identified as a demi-girl, but that didn't feel right. then non-binary, but i wasn't sure if i were a trans man or not. here's how i found out i wasn't. a few questions to help you.
1: if you were born the opposite/ a different sex, would you still be trans?
2: do you feel like just a man? (this may confuse you to think about; don't fret! take some time to think about it.)
and finally… use http://www.pronouns.failedslacker.com/ ! this is a website that allows you to test out pronouns and stuff. being non-binary and using masculine pronouns is completely valid; this is simply a tool that helped me figure out exactly which ones felt good and which ones didnt.
please stay safe and be respectful!
Thank you ^^ that means a lot.
Hey, Zephyr/Are there any other names I should know about? Anyways, Hi! Okay, so I'm a binary trans man, as y'all already know. But I also use they/them, present femininely to masculine depending on the day, and also want to get top but not bottom surgery (as well as hormones but you didn't say if you wanted those or not so yeah). Honestly, I knew I was a guy from the start so who knows if my advice will even be useful, but I've had this on-off with my sexuality for years, no kidding. Like, even before I knew I was trans I was always going on and off aro to allo, bi to "straight (liking guys)", gay when I found out I was trans, and some days I still struggle. But like, dude, this isn't a race against the clock else all is lost. You have time to figure out who you are and who you want to be. Just breathe, and take a step forward one at a time. Take breaks if you want. Step away entirely for a few months too. But there's no race, and there's no problems with being confused for a little while. Okay? Just relax as best you can. If your identity changes, good for you! You're a growing, developing person. But like… just be relaxed about stuff. I know it's hard, especially now, but it really helps. Also if it sounds like I'm talking down at you let me know, I really am trying to be helpful.
Thank you, Orion. ^^ I hope he's safe… It's so sudden for him to disappear.
I hear about a lot of afab non-binary people being more comfortable with he/him pronouns than she/her, my guess is that it has something to do with the male gaze or general uncomfiness with femininity, but I'm not one of those people so I don't know for sure
Personally I'm gender fluid but my presentation rarely strays beyond feminine and slightly androgynous, and if it does in the future it'll probably be in an effort to get gendered correctly
