@sheabutter
Had fun writing this! Hope you like it :) !
“Santa and The Grinch Make Gingerbread Houses”
The recording opens up to Akecheta and Ali starring straight into the camera. Both have their hands clasped in front of them with equally blank faces. They’re wearing matching black and white suits with Akecheta wearing a tie rather than a bow like Ali. The background provides no real meaning for their outfits- being as it’s simply a white blank space- but the two seem comfortable. As if nothing was out of the ordinary.
Simultaneously, the two pull black sunglasses out of their pockets and cooly snap them open and put them on. Their hands go back to being clasped at their front as they continue to stare wordlessly into the camera.
The camera does a quick zoom in and out as the two stand there. Someone in the background coughs.
A slow smile starts to creep up on Ali’s face. He struggles with it- his mouth turning up and down in a quick fashion as lips purse- before he gathers himself and goes back to starring at the camera with a blank look. Akecheta stands still and emotionless by his side. The glasses obviously covering up his side glances to Ali as his eyebrows wiggle above the lenses.
Silence and stillness fills the audio for two painfully long seconds before the camera begins to zoom in on the boys. It’s just obvious the person behind the camera is walking up to them, rather than using the enhance feature, when Ali shrivels back into himself- head tilting back a bit for the audience to catch a glimpse of his amused eyes underneath the sunglasses- and smiles as the camera gets up into his face.
Just as Ali opens his mouth to laugh, the camera cuts to black for a half second and then re-opens up to zooming back out from the boys faces. This time creating the scene at the beginning of their recording with the camera man standing in place rather than walking backwards.
Unexplainably, the two are now wearing costumes. The only remaining part of their original outfit being the sunglasses. Which, combined with the components of the costumes, proves to be a difficult feat.
Akecheta- to the obvious displeasure of himself- is wearing a grinch outfit. The suit is a tight fit on his chest and, by chance, it’s obvious that the zipper in the back has either broken or won’t go together. As the back of the costume hugs at his shoulders to expose the black shirt he is wearing
underneath. His face is obscured by a classic cartoon Grinch mask that doesn’t fully cover his face. Leaving a good portion of his chin exposed.
With the ridiculousness of the suit comes the hairy fingers that the grinch normally sports. Unfortunately, for the comedic effect, the hairy fingers have been cut away to free Akecheta’s fingers. However, even with their absence, the hairy fake stomach and pointed feet that accompany the costume makes up for it.
Standing beside Akecheta- his body language way more proud and confident- is Ali in his Santa Claus outfit. He has his head titled back, chin jutted into the air. Emitting a profound aroma of swagger to his stance.
A stark white beard covers the majority of his face as the black sun glasses sit low on his nose. His outfit is all around more comfortable looking as it hangs off of him enough to move without fear of ripping it in half. With that pro, though, comes the con of a belt he seems to have tightly fashioned around his waist. It is a bit goofy looking- considering the costume comes with a belt sewn into its design- but without it it’s agreeable that Ali would have a hard time without the accessory.
Other than the extra belt Ali’s costume is recognizable and workable. The Santa hat on his head may be crooked, but it’s at least more comforting that Akecheta’s grinch mask.
( While the camera zooms all the way out, it can be seen that Akecheta is holding an identical Santa hat within his grip. It can be assumed that he can’t wear the hat along with the mask or that he just doesn’t want to…but- considering the stiff body language- the later is more appropriate.)
As the two stand in silence Ali slowly takes off his glasses. He tries to snap them closed a few good times, but ultimately gives up and hangs them on the collar of his costume. He takes a sluggish step forward and gestures himself out to the room, palms facing the ceiling as he extends them to his sides.
“ Christmas,” Ali chuckles with an obnoxious Santa Claus voice. “ A time of family and joy. To give, and receive.” He sweeps one hand out to the room imitating the action of giving while pulling the other hand into a fist on his chest to look as if he was taking something.
“ it’s a time to, to bring the community together and fix what has been broken.” He clasps his hands together. Shaking them as if he were begging. “ Rise from the ashes of the fire that’s destroyed us.” Ali bows a bit and then gestures for Akecheta to continue. Unable to see what Ali is doing- and possibly confused by the sudden moment of silence- Akecheta simply gives the camera a thumbs up.
Ali looks back to the front with a strained smile. One that looks as if he is actively trying not to laugh as his teeth are fully exposed to snap open and closed.
“ And what a better way to help out the community than to build them back up.”
From off screen someone chucks a box into frame. The camera quickly zooms out again to capture the box hitting a foldable table that was hidden from view. The box nearly slides off the table but Akecheta- absently lifting up his mask- is quick to slyly catch it before it goes off the edge.
He steadies the box back into the table and then covers his face again.
The two boys are now holding back smiles. Though, while it is harder to see Akecheta’s, the way his mask shifts without him making any noise proves he is making a face underneath.
Ali- having a harder time at keeping it together with his lack of mask- tries his best to wipe away the smile with his hands. His mouth opens and closes a few times while he points to someone off screen. Looking back and forth between the box and them while his face still undergoes the process of staying emotionless.
“ Those are all broken now- I hope you know that.”
Akecheta shakes his head as someone laughs offscreen.
Then, the song “Suck On My Cock” by Matt Rogers fades into the intro. A simple montage of Akecheta and Ali messing around- running around in a haunted house, building legos, smashing legos- captures the audience in a fast passed mess until it comes back to the original plot of the video.
Ali is playing with his Santa beard as Akecheta holds the box of gingerbread pieces and decorations in his hands. Chipped fingernails absently picking at the tape on the folds of the box.
“ What’s the plot of this video? Are we, we making houses for our kids? Orphans?” Ali fiddles with the mic that’s mostly hidden beneath his beard. “ Cause- I have to be honest- I was just spitting bullshit a minute ago.” Ali stops to laugh and throw his head back.
“ I was just trying to get into the hallmark spirit.”
Akecheta- managing to peel a piece of tape off the box- uses his shoulder to move the mask sideways on his face. Obscuring his left eye from view.
“ Yeah, yeah. I was wondering where you were going with that cause- heh,” Akecheta pulls more of the tape off before ripping one of the cardboard flaps off. “ Cause, I had absolutely no idea what the fuck you were saying.”
Ali looks up from his focus on the mic to smile at Akecheta. He scratches at his fake beard, disrupting the neat way it was combed before, then crosses his arms.
“ Just trying to add some physiological shit to this thing, cause-“ Ali stops to stare into the camera. The edges of his lips quoting up into a smirk.
“ Cause, lord knows how much fucking bullshit is about to happen.”
The camera- irritatingly- cuts right as Akecheta breaks out into an open mouthed smile. One that makes his eyes squint closed and face generally flex upwards from his gloomy expression.
When the scene starts again, Akecheta and Ali have managed to evenly distribute the materials into two separate piles. And- from Ali’s earlier statement- pieces of the ginger bread are, in fact, broken.
Akecheta- highly aware that he has been given a majority of the broken pieces- holds up the plastic bag their materials come in. He pushes it forwards to the camera, allowing the focus to enhance on the package, before setting it back down so that the camera comes back into focus on his blank expression.
“ Whoever is getting this house is gonna have a lot of leaks.” He pushes around the materials, making sure none are over lapping, and then looks over at Ali.
“ Didn’t we make little people for this?”
Ali’s eyes go wide in excitement. “ Oh shit, yeah. We did.”
The camera pans to Akecheta ripping open his gingerbread pieces as Ali walks off camera for a few seconds to then hop back into frame holding a container of cookies.
“ We, we made these earlier,” Ali explains to the audience while opening the container. “ Of course, none of us baked these we just, kinda, just decorated them.” He picks out one cookie to quickly show to the camera and then places it back down.
Ali takes out two more cookies before closing the container and setting it aside.
While Ali was doing that, Akecheta was trying his best to puzzle piece back the broken ginger bread. He’s succeeded in matching two of the biggest pieces, but is now stumped on the multiple smaller fragments that seem to keep breaking under his grip.
Ali watches him with his eyes lidded and a smile.
“ That’s gonna be a real pain in the ass.”
Akecheta gives him a tight lipped smile.
Ali sticks out his tongue and bites it. “ Anyway, we made children for our houses and, yeah.” Ali holds up a cookie poorly colored with yellow and white icing. It’s smile is lopsided and only one M&M represents its eyes while the other is simply a dot of icing.
“ This is Sam. She’s 24 years old…an engineer.” Ali brings the cookie closer to him and looks down at it with a studying expression.
“…Likes long walks on the beach.” Ali looks up at the camera. Smiling at the sound of someone laughing off camera as Akecheta picks up another one of the cookies.
This one is slightly more neat- it’s smile is clean and even has a neat little suit iced onto it- but it is missing an arm that appears to be taken off in a single bite. Teeth marks lining from their torso to the bottom of their face.
Akecheta holds the cookie up close to his cheek for a strange comparison. “ This is L. He’s, he is 23…likes to party and,” Akecheta sets down the cookie to look at it with a crooked smile. He looks back and forth between the camera and Ali with pursed lips and a funny look in his eye.
Ali tilts his head. “ What?” He leans into Akecheta’s space but, before even asking a question, Akecheta raises his eye brows and widens his eyes as if sending Ali a telepathic message through his gaze.
Surprisingly enough, Ali clasps a hand over his mouth to snuff his laugh. He slowly turns to face someone behind the camera and removes his hand. Revealing the way his lips tremble and squirm to hold back a smile.
He jerkily looks at Akecheta and then looks behind the camera. Pointing to the cookie with a shaky finger.
“ I don’t think I can be in the same room as this guy anymore.”
The camera cuts as Ali drops his arm and then comes back to Ali and Akecheta fooling around with their materials.
“ Okay, so-“ Ali looks at the box, scrunches up his nose, and then throws the box over his shoulder. He lets it fall before placing his hands on his hips. Starring down at the table with his eyebrows furrowed.
“ Are we timing this thing? No smashing rules?” Ali pushes aside his icing bag to look at the pamphlet that came with the box. He raises his eyebrows up and down while squinting at the material- making the scene all that more Humor-filled as his beard and sunglasses (perched above his eyebrows) move along with it.
“ I’m gonna try my best to recreate this image-“ Ali flips the paper around to show us a picture of a well made ginger bread house. He taps at it with his finger and then sets it back down.
“ But I doubt I’ll even be able to glue the correct pieces together.”
Akecheta, humming in agreement, has already torn open his icing bag and is trying his best to glue the broken pieces together. He’s managed to stick a majority of the first broken piece together, but it’s obvious that once he lifts it up- dry or not- it will fall apart.
“ Good luck with that. I think, I think I’m just gonna build…a little shack.” He sets down the icing to connect the hastily broken piece with another so that it almost resembles a tent, but one side Is nearly 90 degrees and the other creates an acute angle from the ground.
“ L hasn’t been paying rent this month so, so he’s gotta downgrade.”
Ali looks up from where he’s been preoccupied lining the edges of his pieces. The Santa hat sliding down his face and pushing the sunglasses to fall back onto his nose.
“ That’s not very Christmas-y of you.” Ali hangs his glasses back onto his collar and then continues to ice his house. “ I’m gonna give Sam a big old house…With nice decor and a loving family.”
Akecheta squints as he levels himself with the gingerbread house. Making sure it’s not slowly tipping over without him knowing.
“ We shall see about that.”
Ali looks over at Akecheta and then right at the camera before the clip cuts.
We skip forward to them both having…generally stable constructed houses. Ali’s is a bit more pleasing on the eyes as it’s not held together by a glob of icing, but it doesn’t amount to the personality of Akecheta’s shack creation.
“ We still haven’t explained the plot of our children.” Ali says unexpectedly.
“ Well…I think they’ll get the gist.” Akecheta twists his grinch mask over the ear facing away from Ali. Causing strands of his black hair to fall in his face.
“ We are their gods and they’re Adam and Eve.”
Ali shakes his head with a laugh. He steps back so that he doesn’t accidentally ruin the icing pattern he was creating to shake his arms.
“ I don’t, I don’t think that’s the plot…I think…Oo! I think we’re married and they- the cookies- are our together children.”
“ Together children?” Akecheta repeats. As if he didn’t hear Ali right the first time.
Ali nods confidently.
“ Together children.”
The scene clips to them working intently on their work.
“ Okay, so,” Ali clicks his tongue and steps back to admire his work so far. He tilts his head to look at it at different angles. “ I think the house is coming along great. Got some…some windows and a door.” He circles his finger around each mentioned attribute.
“ Now, I just need to start on the roof…add a couple snowflakes and cover the house in this,” Ali picks up a bag of decorations- some strange candy that looks like a mix between a red hot and a skittle- before chucking it back on the table.
“ This disgusting ass candy.”
Someone chuckles behind the camera.
“ I don’t think you’re supposed to eat those.”
Ali rolls his eyes as he pops open a bag of the candy.
“ The whole point of candy is to eat it. I think it’s a crime that some candy, this shit-“ Ali points at the open bag of candy after he pours a handful of it into his hand. “ Isn’t made to me eaten…It should be illegal.”
“ Well, it’s not bad to eat the candy…it’s just nasty.”
Ali, while making eye contact with the camera, dumps the whole handful of candy into his mouth. It’s obvious- after the first painful crunch- that he regrets it. His face scrunches up like a lemon end. He shakes his head frantically before spitting out the candy on the floor.
A chorus of “ews” follow, but Ali pays them no mind as he wipes away the saliva from his beard.
“ That was fucking nasty.” He wipes at his lips and spits at the ground again. “ Tastes nothing like those gum drops.” Ali looks over at Akecheta when he mentions gumdrops. A smile creeping up on his face as he sneakily snatches one of the other man’s candy and pops it into his mouth.
“ These shits are delicious.”
Akecheta is in his own world at this point. Allowing Ali to ramble away to himself.
His hands, while dirtied with white icing, shakily place atop the gingerbread roof gumdrops of different colors. Near the back of the shack it looks as if he was trying to do a pattern, but with the obvious lack of gumdrops due to Ali sneakily eating them every so often, Akecheta was forced to work with what he was left with. Resulting in half of the roof being a pattern of green and red to the unorganized green, blue, yellow and then green again order.
Once done with the roof he wordlessly moves onto coating the leftover spots of the roof with glittery red and gold sprinkles .
He is so focused on his work, in fact, that he fails to notice that Ali has been silently watching him with his arms crossed for the past two minutes. Still chewing on his gum drop.
Finding it oddly quiet, Akecheta removes himself from his work to look up at Ali in his hunched position. When the two finally make eye contact Ali breaks out into a smile while choking back his laughs.
“ I see, I see you’re enjoying yourself…Grinch.”
Akecheta purses and then un-purses his lips to keep his smile at bay and then goes back to covering the roof in sprinkles. Trying and failing to avoid getting his icing covered fingers mixed with the glitter.
“ I’m, im doing good. This shack is gonna be the best shack. L will think it’s a luxury.”
Ali smiles.” Yeah, yeah. Luxurious for a rat maybe…I’m a good father so Sam will be treated like a king!” He places the cookie by the house. Angling is so that it doesn’t slide down onto the table.
“ The children will enjoy the mandatory weekends at my house.”
Akecheta stops his icing to snap his head towards Ali. His lips quivering in a smirk.
“ Since when did we get divorced?”
Ali stares at the camera with wide eyes and a big smile.
“ Surprise!”
The last cut skips ahead to both men having finished their houses.
Akecheta’s still looks a little rough, but it’s definitely more colorful and abstract than Ali’s. Which is a near picture perfect copy of the image on the box though- a bit more lopsided and shaky.
“ Are we supposed to judge them?” Akecheta rests his hands on his hips.
“ Kinda a waste to just…just let them sit there for no reward.”
Ali scratches at his beard while thinking. His arms crossed over his chest and hip cocked to the side.
“ Um, yeah. Sure.” He laughs. “ But, I think we all know who’s is the best.” Ali points at himself with both thumbs while biting the bottom of his lip.
“ Wouldn’t want to get the competitions hopes up.”
Akecheta rolls his eyes. He makes a loose fist and bangs on the table one good time.
The whole room seems to take a breath as both gingerbread houses shake, but an exhale of laughs erupts moments later as Ali’s house is the lone victim to fall to pieces.
Akecheta runs off screen laughing as Ali stands in shock at the destruction of his house.
The camera zooms in on the fallen house before panning to the cookie- Sam- that lays fallen beneath the house pieces.
“ Who can say where the wind blows-“
“ Shut up!” Ali points at the camera. His finger shaking in faux anger as he looks down at the mess in disappointment.
“ This is going to financially ruin me…”
Ali leans on the table with his hands placed shoulder length apart from him. He quickly looks down at the ground, fighting to control his growing smile, and then looks back up with pursed lips. He furrows his eyebrows together- as if imitating Zoolander- while standing back up to cooly nod his head.
Akecheta- having recovered from his laughing fit and re-appeared back on screen- watches him with a perplexed expression. His lips twitching every so often as his eyes follow Ali.
The older man is left alone on frame as a jumble of noses behind the camera cause him to wipe away the smile on his face. Akecheta’s eyes go back and forth between the audience and whatever Ali is doing off screen. He manages to evade breaking character for the longest time before he ultimately turns his head into his shoulder to hide a laugh.
It’s in that exact moment Ali comes back into frame. His hands occupied with a hammer.
Akecheta stifles his laugh with the back of his wrists and situates the Grinch mask back over his face.
“ Santa…what are,” Akecheta turns and coughs into his fist. “ What are you doing?”
Ali looks up at Akecheta then back to the hammer. He shakes it for an unsaid emphasis before bringing it down hard on the shack. Sending pieces flying and gumdrops rolling off the table.
Akecheta watches him smash the house again two more times. His grinch mask hiding any emotion as his creation is destroyed before him.
Ali gives it one more good whack. He’s breathing hard now and his beard has bits of icing and gingerbread in it.
He tosses aside the hammer- not looking where it landed- and then points to the camera.
“ Ho, ho, ho Bitch.”
Sniffing, Ali wipes at his nose and then walks back off screen.
Akecheta follows him a second later in silence with his grinch mask starring dead into the camera.
It’s when he’s finally off-camera that the outro- simply links to other videos- plays along with Matt Rogers end of “Suck On My Cock.”
Though- if you were to stay till the credits ended- the camera would start again with Akecheta and Ali cleaning up the room.
Akecheta has his grinch mask up on his forehead and the costume is stripped down to his waist. Hanging freely as he sweeps the mess of candy and gingerbread into a trash bag.
Ali is watching him with his hands on his hips. The bread hanging around his neck and sunglasses perched on the bottom of his Santa hat.
Ali looks over at the camera.
“ Y’know…After today, I fucking hate gingerbread. That shit tastes nasty.”
Akecheta shakes his head.
“ It’s cause you’re not supposed to eat this ginger bread.”
That makes Ali sigh in exasperation. His arms rising and then falling down to slap at his thighs.
“ Then why fucking make it then!”
