forum Anyone Wants To Collab?

Started Jun 28 by @tredusa864 Premium Supporter

tune

Hi, I'm new to this site/app. I was wondering if anyone would like to collab on a story on here by world-building?

Hi! I would be interested, What ideas do you have?

Hi! I would be interested, What ideas do you have?

I have a story that I'm working out. It's called "Karma" for now. It's about a teenage boy that gets teleported to a magical world where he meets an alternate version of himself.

Oooh cool!

Oooh cool!

Yea, I just need help with writing the beginning as of deciding how to start it. As in with dialogue or starting with his daily life

ok well what have you thought about? Like is he starting by getting transported? by getting meeting his twin then backtracking?

Lol, well, I started off with him getting ready for his junior year of high school but that probably shouldn't be the beginning of the story. I should think of something else closer to the part with him getting teleported to the other world.

ok well what have you thought about? Like is he starting by getting transported? by getting meeting his twin then backtracking?

Do you have discord or instagram?

I have discord! I'm actually on the Notebook.ai serve with the same name if you want to collab there!

Ok, my name is lodidodi_69418 on discord and we can chat there but I'd like to collaborate here. Discord is just another platform to message you on

Perfect! Would you have a bit more info as to what you'd like to collab on? As an example, I'm currently collaborating on worldbuilding with a friend on Notebook. We have just finished creating a rough idea of our magic system and are currently thinking more about the main school, the people, magical creatures, and other similar world-building aspects.

In order for me to help you better, would you be able to tell me what specifically you need help with? Is it more the worldbuilding aspect where I'd work with you to create a universe for your story to take place in? Or would it be more writing the story and giving ideas when you get writer's block or such?

Everything actually. I get stuck a lot. Like I'm writing a story and worldbuilding for it right now. I'd like to add you to the story I;m writing as a collaborator if you'd be up for it.We could bounce ideas off each other and whatnot.

I'm up for it!

I'd need to see what you have first and know about your plans for the world/start before I can offer any helpful hints

Great, i have a collection for the story. It's public but I haven't added the pages yet. I'll let you know when I've done it.

I've added the pages now and here's the part of the story I wrote already. It's not much but it's something. I'm about to add to it.

Oh yea, the collection is called "Karma".

Here's th link, lol, I forgot to send the link. https://www.notebook.ai/documents/1218195

Perfect, Thanks! I'll take a look and let you know what I think

Ok, thanks.

I also plan to publish it on KDP.

I can add you as a additional author.

Sure! I do want to let you know that I'm sick right now so I probably won't check it out right away

Ok

Ok so I read over the first part of your story and I would say that you're not really using the showing vs. telling aspect of writing in the best way. Some places have unnecessary detail while others could be edited to include more. I rewrote your paragraph in my style of writing and it looks like this:

~

The sun was shining brightly outside, not a cloud in the sky and birds chirped joyfully, welcoming the morning with a musical tune. A gentle wind drifted lazily amongst the trees and through an open window, tickling the nose of a sleeping young boy. As the boy sneezed, he jerked awake and rubbed his eyes.

As his arms and legs flexed outwards in a wide stretch, Alex couldn't help but open his mouth to let out a strained sound as he breathed. He sat up in bed and stretched his back and arms a little more. "Mm, that was a fantastic stretch!" he yawned. Alex peeled back his blankets and moved to get off the bed, just then his alarm rang and he looked at it in surprise, "Wow! I woke up before my alarm, and on a Tuesday morning at that! That must have been one heck of a sleep!" He marvelled.

Alex got out of bed and made his way to the closet. Although the old t-shirt and sweats he had on were pretty comfortable, he would never wear them in public. He had an image to maintain; a sense of style to uphold. He decided on the outfit of the day, a nice neutral polo shirt with a pair of black dress pants and his favourite socks, they had little dinosaurs on them!

Once his decision was made, he got dressed and went to meet his parents. As he walked past his desk, his eyes fell on his watch, a Christmas gift from his dad. With a soft smile, he picked it up and put it on his wrist, he would never go anywhere without it, that's how much he loved it. Alex messed around with his hair and walked out of his room, nearly colliding with his mom on the way.

"Goodness! I– Alex? I was coming to wake you! It's nice to see you all dressed this early! Shall we head down for breakfast?" His mother, Sarah, spoke, putting a hand on her son's shoulder as the pair walked down. Alex simply nodded at his mom's words and followed her lead down the stairs.

Ok, that sounds good.